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From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii
From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii
From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii
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From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii

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From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, is a love letter to childhood. It is a tonic, a pick me up, a literary Geritol for the soul. Its just what the doctor ordered. From the Mouths of Babes Volume III is a unique combination of humorous stories, with complimentary verses, written from a childs perspective. Everyone loves to laugh and this book provides plenty of that. Its characters live in everyones family. The readers, with the turn of each page, will undoubtedly recognize some little one who blesses their lives.
LanguageEnglish
PublisheriUniverse
Release dateNov 1, 2013
ISBN9781491707838
From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii
Author

Lisa MacCrory

Mickie, mother of five, grandmother of fifteen, Lisa mother of three, grandmother of four, along with educator, Andrea Marshall, have written and created several motivational curriculum. They deal with anti-bullying, violence, tobacco, and self esteem. Their target age is K-Early Elementary, and are currently in many schools, throughout the U.S. and Canada. This is the authors' third book. They reside in Marlton, NJ. Their website is: www.bettermebooks.com

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From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii - Lisa MacCrory

Copyright © 2013 Mickie Shea and Lisa MacCrory.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

iUniverse LLC

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4917-0782-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-0784-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-0783-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013917336

iUniverse rev. date: 10/25/2013

The original From the Mouths of Babes, From the Mouths of Babes Volume II and this book, From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, may be ordered directly from IUniverse, Barnes & Noble, or any retail book store.

With grateful appreciation, ten percent of our proceeds, from the sales of From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, will be donated to the American Cancer Society, for the prevention and cure of Cancer.

Contents

List Of Contributors

Dedication

Preface

Chronology

Introduction

PART ONE

From the Mouths of Babes Volume III

P.G. 13

He Tooted His Own Horn

He’s Got His Number

Sure

It Could Have Been Worse

That Stopped Him

Vamonos, Vamonos

The Truth Doesn’t Always Set You Free

They Had Their Heads In The Clouds

It’s the Roll of the Dice

Oink, Oink

She Should Have Just Said, Happy Birthday

What… Was She Thinking?

He’s No Two Timer

Eric’s Question

That Crazy Coach

A Day to Remember

Only Seven Dwarfs?

Being a Grandmom Is Like Being on a Rollercoaster

A Rose by Any Other Name

You Can’t Win Em All

Some Kids Have All The Luck!

What’s in a Name

One for the Books

He Didn’t Have a Prayer

Now that’s a New Wrinkle

It’s Back to the Drawing Board for Poppy

Strike Three

Relax… Ok

A Needle in a Haystack

Never Underestimate The Power of…

The Mother of Our Country

Leggo of My Ego!

He Didn’t Tap Dance Around the Subject

Get Well Soon!

That Packed a Punch

Game Day

Daddy Just Didn’t Quite Measure Up

S.O.S.

Raising the Roof

Made Sense to Him

He Knows How to Score Points

And that’s No Bull

He Had a Bawl

Not Exactly what She Had in Mind

The Wrong Question

I Trouble

The Red-Eye Special

Hold Off on that Celebration

The Bonds of Love???

T’was the Night Before Christmas

Some Things in Common

You Asked for It

Super Nanny

Well… I Guess It’s Back to Weight Watchers

Not Sugarcoated

Encore

His Cup Runneth Over

No Ifs, ands, or Butts

A Night to Remember

She Brought Home the Bacon

The Silent Storm

A Close Shave

Let the Little Children Come Unto Me

I Think He’s Headed Back to His Room

Over the Hill

Even the Stones Shall Cry Out

He’s Just a Young Whippersnapper

She Should Have Helped Him

The Sugar Granddaddy

Makayla’s Logic

Ohhhh… So, It’s Not My Fault

Next Time… Don’t Answer

All I Want for Christmas

Out of the Mouths of Babes

That Spiced Things Up

Pass the Gravy… Please

I Guess It Was Time to Stop

Heavenly Hoops

One Strike and He Was Out

A Child’s Innocence

What’s the Big Deal, Santa Wouldn’t Mind

High Aspirations

Driving His Mother Buggy

Lock Him Up and

Throw Away the Key

Ehhh… Watch Where You Step!

Next Time, Be More Specific

Coining A Phrase

So… Where’s the Soap?

Good Trick… But No Treat

Am I Blue

A Toothful Solution

World War II

He’s Got His Work Cut Out for Him

Gone With the Wind

I Think He Took Them for a Ride

Fur Heaven’s Sake

Grand Pa Pa’s Gift

Now, that’s Love

Share the Wealth

Not So Smooth

Pop Pop’s Girl

The Love of a Brother

He Had a Bright Idea

Tatsianna

Anthony Almighty

Santa’s Helpers

Well, That’s the Breaks

No Place for the Timid

No Sacrifice too Great

Lucky Fur Ellie

Oh Mom!

Touched By an Angel

Ehh… I Think She Was Right

It Is Going to Be a Boy

Scrubbing Bubbles

Seeing Red

Anyone for Tofu?

You Said It

Born in the Wrong Century

Pretty Woman

Oh… Lord

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

The View from Down There

Demoted

It Wasn’t So Silent that Night

The Pause that Refreshes

Brains vs Brawn

Bittersweet

Smile

Maître D’ . . . Please

Pride Preceedeth a Fall

One Question, too Many

You Asked for It

Once and Done

A Sweet Deception

Princess Caroline

Her Number’s Up

Grandma… Who?

I Think the Lid Is off of the Pot

Why Didn’t They Think of That?

Party On

That Knocked the Teacher Out

The Age of Miracles

Logan’s Logic

Thanksgiving… 1937

His Fingerprints Are All Over It

No One Thought of That

Done and Done

Next Time I’ll Just Get Earplugs

On That Note… We’ll Paws

Mimi Should Have Never Taken Up Knitting

Eleanor’s Humble Pie

Keep This One Away from the Church

Left Wal-Mart in their Dust

Famous Last Words

Jill… the Beautician

Yesterday’s News

Never Make Eye Contact with a Three Year Old

School Daze

They Think They Went Too Far

I’m Sure His Mother Would Be So Proud

Language Barrier

Model T… ‘T’ is for Tom

Huh!

Well, You Asked

Petey

I Thought I Had Died and Gone to Heaven

‘D’ Day

That Burst His Bubble

Fit to Be Tied

Lost by a Hare

Los Reyes De Oriente

A Jug Full of Hugs

Don’t Worry… Be Happy

It’s Not Easy Being a Mom

The Hot Seat

Ohhh… No

A Super Solution

Maybe Darwin Was Right!

She Will Iron Out All of the Wrinkles

Thou Shalt Not Keepeth a Child Waiting

Let’s Get Outta Here

Show And… Don’t Tell

Makenzie’s Surprise

He Still Bears the Scars

From the Mouths of Babes

PART TWO

From the Mouths of Older Babes

We Need Help

One Dry Spell for Jack

The Story Urn’d a Place in the Book

Now… That Was Fun

Pennies From Heaven

Guess Who Had Better Come to Dinner

Kept My Mouth Shut in Fear Fur My Life

Never Say… What Else Can Go Wrong

Who Could Ask for Anything More

Ellen’s Conquest

Raising Cane

Everything Under the Sun… Almost!

Here’s Your Hat

Get Ready for a Thunderstorm

Hell on Wheels

A Blast from the Past

Aunt Mary

I’m Dog Tired

It’s A Fumble

He’s No Dummy

Sergeant Bilko And Gomer Pyle

She Was Snowed

I’m Glad He Wasn’t a Great Dane

The Sole Survivor

A Double Senior Moment

A Better Idea

Oh Harry, Just Forget It!

The Loaves and Fishes… and the Paint

Fast Forward One Hundred Years

What Not to Say To Your Mother-in-Law

Give Him a Cracker… Please!

Your Secret’s Safe

A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Missed by a Hair

Well… I Guess I Could Use the Money

Why Don’t I Ever Learn

Forgetting Sarah

Once a Checker… Always a Checker

Always a Kidder

An Angel in Disguise

I Ain’t No Saint

She Didn’t Skirt the Issue

Father Damien

Hold the Onions Hold the Lettuce… Special Orders Do Upset Us

My Boney Crony

This Is Snow Joke

Look Out Below!

Judge Not… Lest You Be Judged!

Fifty-Four Years and Counting

He Left Her in His Dust

He Saw Stars, But Not In The Sky

A Tribute To The Boston Marathon Heroes

A Final Note

And In Conclusion

List Of Contributors

Our special thanks for your generous contributions of your talent and time in helping to put, From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, together.

Robert Shea

Cyndy Ryan

Lisa Linden

Andrea Marshall

Beth Anne Linden

Dedication

To All Of Our Children, Bob, Tim, Lisa, Cyndy, Andrea, Frank, Stephen, Christy, and Grandchildren, Jimmy, Beth Anne, Alex, T.J., Justin, David, Jesse, Taylore, Jason, Jill, Aaron, Robbie, Mia, Eric, Kevin, Lucas, Matthew, Nicholas, and Michael. Great Grandchildren, to be named at a later date. We are in a holding pattern.

And all the other children that bring our hearts out to play.

Childhood is the greatest escape from reality there is,

but, unfortunately it comes too early in life

for us to fully appreciate.

SPECIAL DEDICATION

IN LOVING MEMORY

OF OUR DEAR FRIEND

AND SISTER-IN-LAW

Ruth Anne Shea

FMOB300_20130726022505%20copy.jpg

"From the Mouths of Babes is a book of funny and heartwarming tales about children, guaranteed to touch your heart."

Lorraine Agnew

Courier Post

"From the Mouths of Babes is a love letter to childhood. The book is filled with humor, but it also offers sentiment."

Kristen Coppock

Burlington County Times

"From the Mouths of Babes is a tonic, a pick-me-up, a literary Geritol for the soul when feeling a tad down and out of sorts. It’s just what the doctor orders when someone needs a smile or a chuckle."

Elaine J. Barton

The Central Record

"From the Mouths of Babes is a great book for anyone who has ever laughed at the innocence and honesty of a child."

Sybil Kleinfeld

The Trend

"From the Mouths of Babes spreads joy and laughter wherever it goes."

Bill and Val Porter

Cape May, N. J.

Retired Teachers

Every time I needed a lift, I would pull out the book, and have a good laugh. I really do believe that it helped me to heal a little bit more, each time I read it.

Gerry Leader

"My husband came home, from a long hard day at work, growled at all of us and headed straight for the tub for a long hot bath. I opened the door and handed him From the Mouths of Babes. We could hear him laughing from downstairs."

Literary Agent

"The residents of our local retirement community are thoroughly enjoying From the Mouths of Babes, and wish to send their sincere thanks."

Recreation Therapy Director

Preface

Over the past several years, some of our most rewarding moments, have come from our readers. They say that the funny stories have encouraged them to record their own children and grandchildren’s stories. We consider ourselves blessed to know that the gift of laughter truly is contagious and through its very nature, spreads!

Lisa and

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