From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii
By Lisa MacCrory and Mickie Shea
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About this ebook
Lisa MacCrory
Mickie, mother of five, grandmother of fifteen, Lisa mother of three, grandmother of four, along with educator, Andrea Marshall, have written and created several motivational curriculum. They deal with anti-bullying, violence, tobacco, and self esteem. Their target age is K-Early Elementary, and are currently in many schools, throughout the U.S. and Canada. This is the authors' third book. They reside in Marlton, NJ. Their website is: www.bettermebooks.com
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From the Mouths of Babes Volume Iii - Lisa MacCrory
Copyright © 2013 Mickie Shea and Lisa MacCrory.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:
iUniverse LLC
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.iuniverse.com
1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-0782-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4917-0784-5 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4917-0783-8 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013917336
iUniverse rev. date: 10/25/2013
The original From the Mouths of Babes, From the Mouths of Babes Volume II and this book, From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, may be ordered directly from IUniverse, Barnes & Noble, or any retail book store.
With grateful appreciation, ten percent of our proceeds, from the sales of From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, will be donated to the American Cancer Society, for the prevention and cure of Cancer.
Contents
List Of Contributors
Dedication
Preface
Chronology
Introduction
PART ONE
From the Mouths of Babes Volume III
P.G. 13
He Tooted His Own Horn
He’s Got His Number
Sure
It Could Have Been Worse
That Stopped Him
Vamonos, Vamonos
The Truth Doesn’t Always Set You Free
They Had Their Heads In The Clouds
It’s the Roll of the Dice
Oink, Oink
She Should Have Just Said, Happy Birthday
What… Was She Thinking?
He’s No Two Timer
Eric’s Question
That Crazy Coach
A Day to Remember
Only Seven Dwarfs?
Being a Grandmom Is Like Being on a Rollercoaster
A Rose by Any Other Name
You Can’t Win Em All
Some Kids Have All The Luck!
What’s in a Name
One for the Books
He Didn’t Have a Prayer
Now that’s a New Wrinkle
It’s Back to the Drawing Board for Poppy
Strike Three
Relax… Ok
A Needle in a Haystack
Never Underestimate The Power of…
The Mother of Our Country
Leggo of My Ego!
He Didn’t Tap Dance Around the Subject
Get Well Soon!
That Packed a Punch
Game Day
Daddy Just Didn’t Quite Measure Up
S.O.S.
Raising the Roof
Made Sense to Him
He Knows How to Score Points
And that’s No Bull
He Had a Bawl
Not Exactly what She Had in Mind
The Wrong Question
I Trouble
The Red-Eye Special
Hold Off on that Celebration
The Bonds of Love???
T’was the Night Before Christmas
Some Things in Common
You Asked for It
Super Nanny
Well… I Guess It’s Back to Weight Watchers
Not Sugarcoated
Encore
His Cup Runneth Over
No Ifs, ands, or Butts
A Night to Remember
She Brought Home the Bacon
The Silent Storm
A Close Shave
Let the Little Children Come Unto Me
I Think He’s Headed Back to His Room
Over the Hill
Even the Stones Shall Cry Out
He’s Just a Young Whippersnapper
She Should Have Helped Him
The Sugar Granddaddy
Makayla’s Logic
Ohhhh… So, It’s Not My Fault
Next Time… Don’t Answer
All I Want for Christmas
Out of the Mouths of Babes
That Spiced Things Up
Pass the Gravy… Please
I Guess It Was Time to Stop
Heavenly Hoops
One Strike and He Was Out
A Child’s Innocence
What’s the Big Deal, Santa Wouldn’t Mind
High Aspirations
Driving His Mother Buggy
Lock Him Up and
Throw Away the Key
Ehhh… Watch Where You Step!
Next Time, Be More Specific
Coining A Phrase
So… Where’s the Soap?
Good Trick… But No Treat
Am I Blue
A Toothful Solution
World War II
He’s Got His Work Cut Out for Him
Gone With the Wind
I Think He Took Them for a Ride
Fur Heaven’s Sake
Grand Pa Pa’s Gift
Now, that’s Love
Share the Wealth
Not So Smooth
Pop Pop’s Girl
The Love of a Brother
He Had a Bright Idea
Tatsianna
Anthony Almighty
Santa’s Helpers
Well, That’s the Breaks
No Place for the Timid
No Sacrifice too Great
Lucky Fur Ellie
Oh Mom!
Touched By an Angel
Ehh… I Think She Was Right
It Is Going to Be a Boy
Scrubbing Bubbles
Seeing Red
Anyone for Tofu?
You Said It
Born in the Wrong Century
Pretty Woman
Oh… Lord
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble
The View from Down There
Demoted
It Wasn’t So Silent that Night
The Pause that Refreshes
Brains vs Brawn
Bittersweet
Smile
Maître D’ . . . Please
Pride Preceedeth a Fall
One Question, too Many
You Asked for It
Once and Done
A Sweet Deception
Princess Caroline
Her Number’s Up
Grandma… Who?
I Think the Lid Is off of the Pot
Why Didn’t They Think of That?
Party On
That Knocked the Teacher Out
The Age of Miracles
Logan’s Logic
Thanksgiving… 1937
His Fingerprints Are All Over It
No One Thought of That
Done and Done
Next Time I’ll Just Get Earplugs
On That Note… We’ll Paws
Mimi Should Have Never Taken Up Knitting
Eleanor’s Humble Pie
Keep This One Away from the Church
Left Wal-Mart in their Dust
Famous Last Words
Jill… the Beautician
Yesterday’s News
Never Make Eye Contact with a Three Year Old
School Daze
They Think They Went Too Far
I’m Sure His Mother Would Be So Proud
Language Barrier
Model T… ‘T’ is for Tom
Huh!
Well, You Asked
Petey
I Thought I Had Died and Gone to Heaven
‘D’ Day
That Burst His Bubble
Fit to Be Tied
Lost by a Hare
Los Reyes De Oriente
A Jug Full of Hugs
Don’t Worry… Be Happy
It’s Not Easy Being a Mom
The Hot Seat
Ohhh… No
A Super Solution
Maybe Darwin Was Right!
She Will Iron Out All of the Wrinkles
Thou Shalt Not Keepeth a Child Waiting
Let’s Get Outta Here
Show And… Don’t Tell
Makenzie’s Surprise
He Still Bears the Scars
From the Mouths of Babes
PART TWO
From the Mouths of Older Babes
We Need Help
One Dry Spell for Jack
The Story Urn’d a Place in the Book
Now… That Was Fun
Pennies From Heaven
Guess Who Had Better Come to Dinner
Kept My Mouth Shut in Fear Fur My Life
Never Say… What Else Can Go Wrong
Who Could Ask for Anything More
Ellen’s Conquest
Raising Cane
Everything Under the Sun… Almost!
Here’s Your Hat
Get Ready for a Thunderstorm
Hell on Wheels
A Blast from the Past
Aunt Mary
I’m Dog Tired
It’s A Fumble
He’s No Dummy
Sergeant Bilko And Gomer Pyle
She Was Snowed
I’m Glad He Wasn’t a Great Dane
The Sole Survivor
A Double Senior Moment
A Better Idea
Oh Harry, Just Forget It!
The Loaves and Fishes… and the Paint
Fast Forward One Hundred Years
What Not to Say To Your Mother-in-Law
Give Him a Cracker… Please!
Your Secret’s Safe
A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words
It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
Missed by a Hair
Well… I Guess I Could Use the Money
Why Don’t I Ever Learn
Forgetting Sarah
Once a Checker… Always a Checker
Always a Kidder
An Angel in Disguise
I Ain’t No Saint
She Didn’t Skirt the Issue
Father Damien
Hold the Onions Hold the Lettuce… Special Orders Do Upset Us
My Boney Crony
This Is Snow Joke
Look Out Below!
Judge Not… Lest You Be Judged!
Fifty-Four Years and Counting
He Left Her in His Dust
He Saw Stars, But Not In The Sky
A Tribute To The Boston Marathon Heroes
A Final Note
And In Conclusion
List Of Contributors
Our special thanks for your generous contributions of your talent and time in helping to put, From the Mouths of Babes Volume III, together.
Robert Shea
Cyndy Ryan
Lisa Linden
Andrea Marshall
Beth Anne Linden
Dedication
To All Of Our Children, Bob, Tim, Lisa, Cyndy, Andrea, Frank, Stephen, Christy, and Grandchildren, Jimmy, Beth Anne, Alex, T.J., Justin, David, Jesse, Taylore, Jason, Jill, Aaron, Robbie, Mia, Eric, Kevin, Lucas, Matthew, Nicholas, and Michael. Great Grandchildren, to be named at a later date. We are in a holding pattern.
And all the other children that bring our hearts out to play.
Childhood is the greatest escape from reality there is,
but, unfortunately it comes too early in life
for us to fully appreciate.
SPECIAL DEDICATION
IN LOVING MEMORY
OF OUR DEAR FRIEND
AND SISTER-IN-LAW
Ruth Anne Shea
FMOB300_20130726022505%20copy.jpg"From the Mouths of Babes is a book of funny and heartwarming tales about children, guaranteed to touch your heart."
Lorraine Agnew
Courier Post
"From the Mouths of Babes is a love letter to childhood. The book is filled with humor, but it also offers sentiment."
Kristen Coppock
Burlington County Times
"From the Mouths of Babes is a tonic, a pick-me-up, a literary Geritol for the soul when feeling a tad down and out of sorts. It’s just what the doctor orders when someone needs a smile or a chuckle."
Elaine J. Barton
The Central Record
"From the Mouths of Babes is a great book for anyone who has ever laughed at the innocence and honesty of a child."
Sybil Kleinfeld
The Trend
"From the Mouths of Babes spreads joy and laughter wherever it goes."
Bill and Val Porter
Cape May, N. J.
Retired Teachers
Every time I needed a lift, I would pull out the book, and have a good laugh. I really do believe that it helped me to heal a little bit more, each time I read it.
Gerry Leader
"My husband came home, from a long hard day at work, growled at all of us and headed straight for the tub for a long hot bath. I opened the door and handed him From the Mouths of Babes. We could hear him laughing from downstairs."
Literary Agent
"The residents of our local retirement community are thoroughly enjoying From the Mouths of Babes, and wish to send their sincere thanks."
Recreation Therapy Director
Preface
Over the past several years, some of our most rewarding moments, have come from our readers. They say that the funny stories have encouraged them to record their own children and grandchildren’s stories. We consider ourselves blessed to know that the gift of laughter truly is contagious and through its very nature, spreads!
Lisa and