Asterisk: A Wildcard Character

By Booth Milovnik

In January of 1983, fourteen-year-old Cindy found out that she was pregnant. Her faith-filled mother was crushed. She ended up giving birth and naming the baby Matthew. Cindy ended up calling Matthew her little asterisk. As Cindy tells us the story of her life, Matthew seems to be a footnote to everything that happens. But Matthew is not just an asterisk in his mother's story. Family members and friends also share their stories, and Matthew seems to be an asterisk in all of them. Who is Matthew? Who is his father? Just how important is Matthew to everyone he encounters as he grows up? Read stories that are raw and emotional. Sometimes funny, often sad, but always compelling. Enjoy this unconventional look at someone's life through the eyes of many different people, including Matthew himself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638607755

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Asterisk: A Wildcard Character

Booth Milovnik

Copyright © 2021 Booth Milovnik

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books, Inc.

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2021

ISBN 978-1-63860-774-8 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63985-796-8 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-63860-775-5 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

My Friend Is the Loud One with the Goofy Grin

According to My Son

Strawberry-Flavored Chapstick

Caught between Your Love and a Hard Place

Everything Changes

Ending the Party Early

Finding Faith and Happiness

Peaks and Valleys

Apples Falling from Trees

V Neposlednom Rade

The Little Prince Is All Grown Up

Ramblings of an Ex-Chain-Smoker

Bart Simpson Saves the Day

I Don’t Know If You Know, but He’s Kind of a Big Deal

What If?

The Day of Reckoning with My Catholic Faith

Part 2

Mr. Beatty’s Ninth-Grade Biology Class

Preface

I grew up in Lansing, Michigan, and attended Michigan State University. During the time I was in school, the Spartans had a tailback on their football team named Blake Ezor.

Blake was a very popular player and received a lot of press. It seems as though there was a new article about him in the local newspaper every week. He had a very interesting backstory growing up in Las Vegas and attending school in the Midwest. Blake seemed to be a hardworking and dedicated football player but often found himself in trouble. His wild ways made him very popular.

I wrote a short story for a creative writing class about a character based on Blake as he helped a stranded motorist that was a teen mom. The story was about their awkward banter in his truck as he gave her a ride home. I received a 4.0 grade for that story, and I kept it for many years.

I always enjoyed writing. Growing up, I was always writing stories about my family members and people I knew. One of the greatest things I ever owned was an electric typewriter. Most of my stories were written in the 1980s, and there were a lot of them.

I had to put away my writing for many years, as I had children and did foster care for ten years. I simply had no time to write anymore, and that was a shame. The stories and relationships that I had with my foster children and their families were a treasure trove of incredibly sad and emotional stories. Of course, all the information was personal and private, and I would never share any of it, but I found it all very fascinating.

I had no clue, growing up, just how bad some people had it in life. I existed in a black-and-white world. If you just did everything you were supposed to do, you would be fine. Go to college. Get a job. Lean on your parents when needed. Start your own family.

It wasn’t until I did foster care for the first time that my eyes were opened to the incredible disadvantage that so many people have, many of them from birth. The world went from black-and-white to all gray for me. I was able to see other people’s points of view and even walk a few steps in their shoes.

That revelation changed the way I thought about everything, including my religion. I was a dedicated Catholic but began to question things more and more. When I read the gnostic gospels, and the Book of Thomas began to talk about the light inside all of us, I finally found something that made sense to me. Unfortunately, I was already fifty years old. Better late than never!

My foster children had no desire to share in my joy of religion, and that made me immensely sad. I just couldn’t imagine not having faith in a higher power to guide you through life. It was another eye-opening moment in a life now full of them.

I would eventually get the once-in-a-lifetime chance to move to Hawaii, and all my stories that had been stored in boxes for years were thrown away. I simply didn’t have the time or space to keep them anymore, as I was now a grandfather as well.

Flash forward to the pandemic and the summer of 2020. I had lots of free time on my hands as I sheltered in a place in paradise. I began to remember some of those old stories I had written and got out a notebook and would sit in the sun and write.

I started with that old story about Blake and his damsel in distress and just kept writing. I began to create stories using events that I was involved with. I changed all the details and genders, but the stories and the dialogue are all real.

I have no idea if Blake Ezor is anything like Brian Corbin. I certainly hope not, since Brian doesn’t fare too well in the end! I just found the story about a kid from the desert moving to the Midwest too interesting to ignore.

You may read about characters in this book and the three sequels in development that seem like they could be about you. I would certainly be happy if you did. It would mean that you believe in these characters and have an emotional connection with them.

Feel free to get your own creative juices flowing and write chapters about these characters for yourself. It is not as easy as it may seem, but it can be a lot of fun.

If you are lonely or struggling, adopt this family as your own. Become a member and imagine yourself at the dinner table with these people.

How fun would that be?

Thank you for taking the time to read Asterisk. I hope you enjoy them enough to demand more sequels. I will be happy to oblige.

Chapter 1

My Friend Is the Loud One with the Goofy Grin

By Allison Bree Decater

The first day of school is always the hardest. Especially high school. I was here as a new student in a new school where I didn’t know anyone. If I could just keep myself invisible, no one would notice me. If they didn’t notice me, then hopefully they wouldn’t bother me.

Or worse, pity me.

Of course, as I scanned the lunchroom, there didn’t seem to be anyone around that looked even remotely familiar. I thought that one kid over there was in my second hour, but I didn’t recognize anyone else here in the Kang Court.

So far, I wasn’t too impressed with this school. I mean, it was mostly portable classrooms, and seriously, how lame is a kangaroo for a mascot? Portland was so much better. I had lots of friends at Grant High. Here, I didn’t know anyone, and it kind of sucked.

Just stay invisible.

Oh god! Here comes a group of boys. Was I sitting at their table or something? How embarrassing. I should just go outside and sit in the rain until lunch is over.

They were actually sitting down at my table. How do I get out of here? One of the boys asked if they could sit with me. I gave him an indifferent shrug. I mean, you already sat down before you asked, you jerk! I decided not to look at them. Since there are three of them, hopefully they would just sit and talk to each other and leave me alone.

Damn! The one with the big mouth and goofy grin was looking at me. Please, dude, whatever you do, don’t speak to me.

So, are you new here? he asked as he stared right at me.

Unfortunately, he appeared to be one of those super annoyingly happy people that think life was full of rainbows and puppies. So full of himself.

I sighed but responded, Today is my first day at this school.

His blue eyes sparkled. They were really blue. He gave off a ton of energy, and it was exhausting.

Welcome to L-Dubb! he exclaimed proudly. My name is Matthew, and this is TJ and Dave.

The boys nodded, and I nodded back. They started to talk about some lame boy stuff as I looked around to make sure this wasn’t a setup of some sort. I didn’t notice anyone staring at us or whispering as they glanced our way. It appeared that I was not the victim of some stupid prank. I started to relax when the loud one startled me by blurting out, So what’s your name?

Seriously? Were we really going to do this? I just wished he would shut up and stop looking at me. It was a little creepy.

Allie, I answered, looking down.

So, Allie, he responded, how do you like it here so far?

I looked up at him with a hint of disgust. How dare he invade my quiet, peaceful lunch. I didn’t have time for any stupid small talk. He was so incredibly annoying.

But he did have kind eyes. And that goofy grin.

It’s okay. I shrugged. My school back home is a lot bigger, and a kangaroo really is a lame mascot.

All the boys laughed. I guess I was funny.

Right? the loud one, Matthew I think, replied. Go Kangs! Well, anyway, I hope you like it here. Most of the kids are pretty cool, except maybe Dave.

Dave punched him in the arm. Matt punched him back. What a couple of morons.

Boys were so dumb.

I thought that would be the end of our encounter, but I guessed the one with the big mouth, Matthew, wasn’t done talking yet.

So, Allie, where do you come from?

Aberdeen! TJ announced for no reason. They all laughed like idiots. What the hell was going on?

At this point, that Matthew kid hadn’t eaten any of his food. I guess he was too busy talking. He was finally about to pick up one of his french fries to eat when I answered his question.

I’m from Portland.

Matthew stopped before taking that first bite of his french fry. He looked at his buddies, and then he looked at me.

Oregon? he asked, pronouncing it wrong.

Born and raised! I responded with a proud smile.

Matthew suddenly seemed to become much more interested in me. He finally ate that french fry but immediately began talking again.

I mean, I get why you would want to get out of Portland and all. Everyone is so weird and lame there. Plus it is a dump. You will like Seattle much better.

The nerve of that little weasel! Have you ever been to Portland? I seethed. I would have bet money that this punk-ass little boy had never been to my hometown. He wouldn’t last a day there with his superior attitude and sunny disposition.

I don’t go south of the border, Matthew answered smugly. The Emerald City has everything I need. Portland has nothing to offer.

His friends thought that Matthew was hilarious and high-fived him. Dumb boys. I was really getting ticked off, but by now I was thoroughly engaged in this conversation.

Portland is only weird to you because you need everything to be perfect, I shouted with a red face, but to be honest, you seem to be pretty weird yourself, and I could see you fitting in there just fine!

Now I was smug. He was a jerk, and I just called him out on it.

Dude, you got burned! TJ laughed.

You kind of had it coming! Dave lamented.

Good one, Portland! Matt responded with that stupid goofy grin. I’m gonna call you Portland. You don’t care do you, since you love it there and all?

Fine by me! I exclaimed with attitude as I looked him in the eye.

He got up to throw away the food he barely ate. Too bad, because those fries looked pretty good. He then came back to the table and continued talking some more. God, does he ever shut up?

I’m going to get you to like Seattle better than Portland. When you do, I will start calling you Allie. Cool?

Matthew laughed at me as he shook his head. He put his hand on my shoulder.

Jerk!

I like you, Portland, he said. You are cool. I think we are going to be great friends.

As he walked away, he yelled, Portland sucks! with a smile. What a complete moron and jerk. All three of those boys were.

Yet…

I finally had a friend at this school. A friend who yelled Portland every time he saw me the rest of that day and all the days after. Of course, I would always respond with You’re a jerk, Seattle. He would always flash me that goofy grin of his.

The grin of my new friend.

I had more confidence the rest of that day and actually met some sort-of-cool people. I guess it wasn’t so bad at this school after all.

I thought about Matthew that night. Confidence like he had was pretty rare. What was his story? I imagine he came from a perfect family that constantly told him how awesome he was. He was probably an only child.

He was so lucky.

Chapter 2

According to My Son

By Timothy Myles Schroder

September 7, 1990

Hello, Daddy!

Mommy is helping me write this letter to you. Thank you for my birthday card and money. I used the money to get Power Rangers action figures and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I really like the turtles!

I go to school at Franklin Elementary. My teacher is Mrs. Kemper. I like it there. The teacher says that sometimes I talk too much.

Brian is playing football now for Seattle. Mom and I get to go to the games at the Kingdome. It is an indoor stadium, so we will never get wet when it rains. The Seahawks are my favorite team. Look for me on TV!

I watch Power Rangers and Darkwing Duck on TV after school. We saw Jungle Book at the movie theater.

I go to church at Holy Family in Kirkland. I have religious classes on Thursday nights.

Seattle is a fun place to live. They have mountains here. We live on the east side in Kirkland. It is on a big lake called Lake Washington. Seattle is on the other side of the lake.

The big mountain is Mt. Rainier. If you can see the mountain, it will be a beautiful day, but most of the time it is cloudy like Lansing.

During the summer, I got to go to Fun Forest and ride the rides. They have a monorail and the Space Needle. I also went to Woodland Park Zoo and the aquarium. At Pike Place Market, you can watch them throw the fish.

Tell Grandpa Mike I am still playing tennis and I miss him. I miss you too! Tell everyone I said hello.

I love you, Daddy!

Matt

September 6, 1991

Hello, Dad!

How are you? I am in the third grade this year.

Thank you for my birthday card and money. I used the money to buy Legos.

I got to see TMNT 2 this summer at the movie theater. My favorite turtle is Raphael. He is the best ninja.

My friend is Nathan. He goes to my school. He likes Turtles and Power Rangers like me.

Did you know Mom is having a baby? At Halloween. I will be a big brother. I am saving all of my toys for the baby. It will be a boy.

I go to Seahawk football games. They have a big stadium, and it is loud. Look for me on television.

Tell everyone I said hi!

Love,

Matt

September 4, 1992

Hello, Dad!

How are you? Tell Papa Mike and the rest of the family I said hello.

Thank you for my birthday card and money. I used it to buy a Nintendo Gameboy game. It is called Tetris, and I love it.

I have a little brother named Todd. He was born on October 10. That is the same birthday as Mom and Dad. Grandma D came to visit us after he was born. She took me trick-or-treating.

The baby cries a lot. I like being a big brother. I am good at it. The baby doesn’t cry when I hold him.

Grandpa Barney and Grandma Barb are coming to visit this Christmas.

I got to play T-ball this year. My friend Nathan is on the team with me. It was fun. I am going to play again next year.

Dad is in LA now. He plays for the Rams. Mom and I stayed in Kirkland with Todd. We don’t go to Hawks games anymore. It is sad. I help take care of my brother.

We have a new house, and my room is awesome. I don’t have to share my room with my brother because he has his own room.

I got to see Batman Returns this summer at the movies. I watch Saved By the Bell on TV. Mom watches Roseanne, and Dad watches Home Improvement.

I am in fourth grade at Franklin. My teacher is Ms. Britton.

I miss you!

Love,

Matthew

September 9, 1993

Hello, Dad!

I hope you are doing okay. How is Papa Mike?

Thank you for my birthday card and money. I used it to buy Nirvana CDs. Nevermind and Bleach. They have a new CD coming out soon. It is called In Utero. I really like their music. Mom wouldn’t buy the CDs for me, so I am glad you sent me money. I know you would like their music.

I am in fifth grade now. I am playing basketball at Holy Family this year. I played Little League with my friend Nathan last year.

We got a Sega Genesis game system. I play Sonic the Hedgehog. Of course, Dad plays the football game.

But my dad doesn’t play in the NFL anymore. He quit because he didn’t like living in LA and being away from us. He got a job with UPS. I am glad he is back in Kirkland.

My brother Todd will be two years old next month. He follows me everywhere. I like being a big brother. Mom is having another baby. She is hoping it will be a girl. She said she is tired of being the only girl in the house. I think it will be a boy.

I saw Jurassic Park this summer at the movies. It was awesome. You have to see it! I have the poster on my wall. We couldn’t take Todd because he would be too scared.

Uncle David and Aunt Susan came to visit us this summer. I got to see my cousins Kara and Jonathan again. We had a great time.

I hope you are playing music. I know you love music like me. Maybe someday I can play the drums at your house with you.

I miss you!

Love,

Matt

September 4, 1994

Hi, Dad!

How is everything in Michigan? We are all doing good here.

Thank you for my birthday money and my card. I used it to buy CDs. Offspring, Green Day, REM, and Nirvana MTV Unplugged. Mom doesn’t really like my music. She likes that awful ’80s music. I have a new baby sister, so I can’t play my music loud. Mom and Dad got me sweet headphones for my birthday, so I can listen whenever I want. I always listen to music when I do my homework.

I am in sixth grade now. Next year I go to junior high at Rose Hill. I am playing basketball again this year at my church. I played Little League last spring. My friend Nathan moved to San Antonio, Texas, this summer, so I don’t think I will play baseball next year.

Our house is getting crowded. All the bedrooms are full. My sister was born in April. She can really scream when she is upset. I would have rather had a dog than a sister, but I guess she is okay.

I was sad when Kurt Cobain died. I really like Nirvana. People here were crying. I’m growing my hair long like him and you. Mom says I have to get it cut by Christmas, but I am hoping she forgets.

My brother Todd will be three this year. We took him to see Lion King at the movies. He loved it. It was cool. I like The Mask and Mighty Ducks 2.

Grandpa Barney and Grandma Barb came to visit us this summer. Grandpa Jack and Grandma D are coming at Thanksgiving. Maybe you can visit us in Seattle sometime. You would like it here.

I have lots of friends now. We have sleepovers, and we skateboard and ride bikes. The rain doesn’t stop us.

Well, bye!

Matt

September 2, 1995

Hey, Dad!

I finally made it to junior high! Now I am in the seventh grade at Rose Hill. I am going to be on the tennis team next spring, and I will play basketball for the church again this winter.

Thank you for my birthday card and money. I used it to get a pair of Nike Air Max 95 shoes. I love them. They are so cool.

I went to summer camp this year with the YMCA. It was crazy. I want to do it every summer. I know how to make fire and set up a tent. I know how to look out for bears, and I will be glad to show you if we ever go camping together.

My room is all about music. I like music, just like you. I only wish I could sing like you and Mom, but I stink. Maybe if I come back to visit, I can play your drum set. That would be cool.

My sister turned one this year. She follows my dad everywhere. My brother still follows me, but I don’t care. I am teaching him everything I know so he will be one of the cool kids when he goes to school.

We took Todd to see Pocahontas at the movies. I liked Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, and Jumanji. They were really funny. Todd was way too young to see those movies.

I don’t play Little League anymore. It was getting boring. I like tennis and basketball. I don’t really want to play football.

Did you know my hair is still blond? I try to keep it long, but Mom is always on my case.

I miss you!

Love,

Matt

September 9, 1996

Ola, Papa!

Como estas?

I am learning Spanish in school. I am in the eighth grade at Rose Hill. I am on the tennis team, and I am going to join the cross-country team this fall. I am not going to play basketball this year. I am too short, and I am tired of it.

Thank you for my birthday money and card. I got a Nickelodeon Time Blaster alarm clock. It has a radio and crazy alarm noises from Nickelodeon. It would be really cool if it would spray you with green slime to wake you up!

Uncle Larry and Aunt Theresa came to visit us this summer. I met my cousins Billy and Kenny for the first time. We got to stay in a hotel with a pool. I am a pretty good swimmer.

I went to summer camp again with the YMCA. Camping here is fun. We have mountains and lakes and rivers. We tell ghost stories and roast marshmallows. We get in trouble because we talk too much at bedtime, but we don’t care.

I saw Independence Day and Twister at the movies. Also Happy Gilmore and Space Jam. We took Todd to see Hunchback of Notre Dame.

My favorite store is REI. They have so many cool clothes and tons of camping stuff. I want to get a tent so we can go camping as a family next summer. I am going to ask for it at Christmas.

Our house is really nice. It is big. Brian has his office downstairs, and he lets me play poker with my friends there so my brother and sister don’t bother us. Do you know how to play poker? I am good at it. Papa Jack taught me.

Hope to see you again someday.

Matt

September 2, 1997

Hey, Dad!

Well, it happened again! You won’t believe it. Mom and Dad had another kid! They said they were done having kids after my sister was born, but I guess not. My brother Bart was born May 1. He is not named after Bart Simpson, but kids are still going to tease him.

I was pissed when they told me about the baby. I’m kind of sick of babies. I’m fourteen years old! But he is a good baby, and I am glad there will be another guy in the house so we can win any vote against the girls.

Thank you for my birthday card and money. I bought a Tamagotchi, but my pet keeps dying because I always forget to feed it.

I am in ninth grade now. This is my last year at Rose Hill. Next year I will be at Lake Washington High. I am still on the tennis team and will run cross-country again this fall. I can’t wait to be in high school. Mom says I can’t date until I am in high school. Isn’t that stupid?

This was my last summer to go to camp at the YMCA. I will be too old next year. I was hoping the family could go camping this year, but the baby ruined that. I still go camping with my friend TJ. He’s cool.

We go camping at Blake Island. I got a new tent at Christmas. I am a pretty good fisherman. We took a boat to get there.

There are some cool new shows on tv this year. South Park and Johnny Bravo. Of course, Mom hates them and doesn’t want me watching them, but I always find a way. Do you know The Real World on MTV? They are filming in Seattle for next year. I can’t wait to watch it.

I saw The Lost World and Men in Black at the movies this year. I am pretty popular at school. Girls come to the house to see me all the time.

See ya,

Matt

September 5, 1998

Hello, Father!

Guess what? Mom says I can come to Michigan next summer to see you and Grandpa Jack and Grandma D. Two weeks. Just me! No siblings. It is going to be great.

Thanks for the card and money. I spent it on clothes. I am in high school now. I am in the tenth grade at Lake Washington. We call it L­Dubb. Our mascot is a kangaroo! Pretty lame. Go Kangs! I used your money to get a Kang’s hoodie.

I will be on the tennis team and cross-country. We have already started practicing.

Todd is in first grade now. Christy is in preschool. Bart turned one in May. He is a cute baby. He has curly hair.

I don’t have a girlfriend yet, but now that I am in high school, it won’t be long. Girls are always coming to our house. Especially Bailey Carpenter.

Love ya,

Matt

Chapter 3

Strawberry-Flavored Chapstick

By Matthew Paul Schroder

The first time I kissed a girl, I was in the eighth grade.

Bailey Carpenter.

It was at Bryce Lepek’s birthday party, and we were playing spin the bottle. I was hopelessly immature back then, more interested in camping with my buddies or playing tennis with my dad. Girls weren’t really on my radar. My rule-happy mother made it clear that I couldn’t date until I was in high school, and that wasn’t for another two years. I didn’t have to think or worry about getting involved with anyone.

But that kiss!

When I spun the bottle the first time, it landed on my best friend TJ. Well, I certainly wasn’t about to kiss him! Everyone found it hilarious, but I was allowed to spin again, and it landed on Bailey. I had known her for years. She had regularly shown an interest in me, always asking about my siblings or my family. I considered her to be my friend, so I didn’t want to disappoint her with a sloppy kiss.

I was so nervous.

Do I close my eyes? Do I kiss on the lips? Everyone else did, so I guess I should too. My head was spinning with thoughts. Are my lips too dry? What about my breath? Is it bad? Thank God I put deodorant on today because I was starting to sweat.

Bailey smiled at me when the bottle landed on her. We leaned into each other, all puckered up, with our eyes closed. My heart was beating so fast. Everyone was watching us. It was so embarrassing.

Strawberry.

Her lips tasted like strawberries. It wasn’t gross at all. In fact, I kind of liked it. She gave me a pretty long kiss. Everyone started going ooooooo, implying that we loved each other. My face was red. I exhaled.

I did it! I kissed a girl, and I liked it!

The game continued, and I kissed other girls. By now I considered myself a seasoned kisser. But none of the other lips tasted like strawberry Chapstick. Bailey’s kiss was definitely my favorite.

The next Monday in school, rumors were spreading all through Rose Hill Junior High about everyone at the party participating in make-out sessions. It was all so stupid, but at the time, it was serious to all of us.

The boys had reputations to keep, and kissing girls was a sign of weakness. You got mercilessly made fun of. It was awful.

For the girls, it was a dream come true, a sign of strength that you were able to get a boy to kiss you. They loved all the rumors.

So that was pretty much how things went back in junior high. The girls on one page and the boys on another. As we began ninth grade, the two worlds began to merge. Boys started going through puberty, and the girls were ready to start dating, having waited patiently for years.

I started having TJ and another friend, Dave, over at my house on Friday nights to play poker. We talked about girls constantly by then. Who was the prettiest, rumors about who was making out with who, and which one of us had gone the furthest with a girl. Dave claimed he had been to second base with Rachel Versi, so he was the current leader. I had to keep reminding my friends, however, that my parents wouldn’t let me date yet.

I was kind of glad about the rule to be honest. I was still too young to be in a real relationship, and I knew it. The concept of having sex was terrifying. My mother had gotten pregnant with me when she was only fourteen and I was afraid the same thing might happen to me. It grossed me out to picture her and my dad getting it on. My friends were always telling me how hot my mom was. It was all really disgusting.

I preferred to simply keep myself busy camping and fishing and playing poker. I told myself I would worry about girls once I got to high school in the tenth grade. I loved my parents’ no-dating rule because I could use it as an excuse to focus on anything but girls.

There was only one problem.

Girls started coming over to my house, mostly on weekends, to see me. They usually came in pairs or groups and mostly on Saturdays. Bailey was a frequent visitor. I would invite the girls in, and they would visit with me and my siblings as we hung out in the living room. If the weather was nice, we would go in the backyard. Mom was cool with it all as long as she could see what we were doing. She was so nosy and overbearing but always nice to my friends. She never said anything to embarrass me, but she was always lurking around. She would usually interrogate my friends for a while before backing off and giving us some space.

Dad was usually at work on Saturdays, but I know if he was the one at home, instead of Mom, he could have cared less about asking any questions and would have given us some privacy. I guess that was okay because I wasn’t quite ready for privacy, and my mom knew it.

I loved my mother. She had me so young that we kind of grew up together. I actually hated the fact that she was young and attractive but couldn’t deny how much she cared about me.

Mom was the one who taught me how to dance and how to look people in the eye, confidently, when I talked to them. She was the one who coached me how to be a big brother and how to look out for and reach out to the downtrodden. She was the one who demonstrated how to be a good Catholic and how to practice what you preach. We had always been a package deal, and even after my siblings were born and I was forced to share her, we still had an unbreakable bond.

I’m sure I had some form of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), as I was constantly thinking about doing things, anything, and I struggled to sit still. All my high energy levels made me want to move and talk. Did I mention I like to talk?

My real dad liked to talk. He had lots of energy as well. I don’t remember a whole lot about him, but I do remember him always being on the go. He was loud and joked a lot, like me. It was probably from nervous energy, at least it seemed to be for me.

Lots of times when girls would come to the house, it was to invite me to go somewhere with them. It could be a park, Starbucks if anyone had money, or even back to their house. Of course, I had to get permission from my mom. It was incredibly humiliating. Mom would always hesitate, as if she wanted to come up with a good reason to say no. I don’t know why she didn’t trust me. I wasn’t going to do anything stupid like she did! Why couldn’t she just say yes? It was no big deal. It was so boring at our house, and my siblings were super annoying.

Mom would usually take her time to answer me, but unless she had a really good reason, she would usually let me go—with a strict curfew. If I was late, I would be grounded the next weekend.

So lame! But thanks, Mom!

I would be out the front door so fast I barely had time to say goodbye to Todd, my number one superfan. Seriously, that kid worshipped me and followed me everywhere. Secretly, I loved it. I loved having a little brother, but I could never let Mom or Dad know. Mom would just use it against me and tell me to stay behind and spend quality time with Todd if she didn’t think I was annoyed by him.

So off we went, exploring the small town of Kirkland. There was safety in numbers, and as long as we were in groups, I was comfortable.

But Bailey was dying to get me all to herself.

Once we started high school, Bailey would hang out at my locker most mornings, sit with me and my buddies at lunch, and offer to walk home with me if I didn’t have practice or it was a nice day.

I loved the attention, but I really didn’t have much free time. I ran cross county in the fall and played tennis in the spring. I was an altar server at my church and attended a religious class on Thursday nights. Of course, Friday nights were my poker nights