Some Things to Know About Marriage Before You Have a Wedding: And After Too

By Dwayne Emanuel Shigg, PhD

This book deals with many of the real issues that will happen in most relationships, such as, dealing with blended families and in-laws. When things change in your life. Marriage is worth it but it is WORK, because happy does not just happen. Having talks about SEX: past activity & present appetites and the two issues that cause many of the problems in most relationships: money and communication.

These tools and principles being based on his 30 years of being married, over 30 years of ministry and dealing with
couples in personal consultation, teaching in workshops and seminars. Also a special survey, taken exclusively for this book, of couples married from 2-22 years that asked them, what are some things that they wish they knew before they were married?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: May 15, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468572636

Dwayne Emanuel Shigg, PhD

Dwayne E. Shigg has been married since 1982, he’s a preacher, former Pastor, adjunct professor, author and teacher. He has a Doctorate in Religious Education from Bible Believers College & Seminary in Hawthorne, Ca.

Book preview

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

WHAT DOES IT TAKE

TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?

YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOU ASK NOT

ARE YOU PREPARED OR JUST READY?

IT’S WORK BUT IT’S WORTH IT

A CHANGE IS GOING TO COME

FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY

WHAT YOU TALKIN ABOUT, WILLIS?

FAMILY AFFAIR

JUST GIVING YOU SOMETHING

TO THINK ABOUT

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU . . .

Dedication

To all of those that work towards a lasting and happy marriage, till death do you part and to My Girl that gives me sunshine on a cloudy day, my wife Cheryl, thank you, thank you, thank you

Acknowledgements

Thank you: Keena Mosley, Vicky J. Johnson, Debra Slaney, Tracy Johnson, Michael Williams, Pastor Audie Diggs, Pastor David Jones, Aunty Alyce, Yolanda Bozant and my brother Terry for your reviews, input and assistance in bringing this project from inspiration to publication.

Thank you to some people that I have seen stay the course and showed me that you CAN make it:

To my Elders:

John & Kerma Williams-51 yrs.

Hal & Vera Kimble-46 yrs.

To my contemporaries that show that it can STILL be done:

Frank & Yolanda Bozant-35 yrs., Ray & Lisa Hale-33 yrs.

S. Scuffie & Alyce Shigg-32 yrs., Jerry and Liz Gregory-32 yrs.

Quentin & Shelly Oden-30 yrs., Steve & Jennifer Boler-30 yrs.

FOReWORD

Dwayne E. Shigg has been married for almost 30 years, preaching for 31 years and my big brother all my life. Dwayne has always been passionately driven to provide help to those in need. His calling to the ministry was a natural progression and vehicle for his devotion. That progression has evolved in a way that now allows him to reach and help even more people through his divinely inspired writing. Dwayne has developed a guide if you will, to help those who are married, thinking about getting married or just dating. This book will help you, if you are in any of those groups or want to be in one of those groups. In plain and easy to understand language Dwayne uses personal examples and biblical guidance to carefully lay out a plan for you to be successful in your relationships. It is a book for a man, a woman or a couple. Anyone can benefit from the information God has inspired Dwayne to write in this book. It is a Godly book, written by a Godly man. I pray that this book will bless you with the insight and encouragement you desire in order to strengthen and grow your relationships.

God Bless,

Terence L. Shigg M.A.

Marriage and Family Therapist

INTRODUCTION

I have been preaching since 1981 and married since 1982. As I deal with couples as a part of my area of ministry, I have come to see a lot of things that have occurred in relationships. Sometimes things happen that the person did not know how to deal with. Sometimes there are things that people didn’t expect to happen and may think they are extraordinary but they may just be a part of married life. Oftentimes people will ask, Why didn’t somebody tell me this before I got married? This assumed and likely question is why I decided to do this book.

I have a great burden for marriages and doing things to make them work. The reason a lot of relationships don’t last is because they don’t start off right. People get married for a lot of reasons, some having to do with love and some not. Some people are looking for a father for the children and others want a friend with benefits. Some because their parents like the person and picked them out. Unfortunately, there are people that get married with no principles and guidelines. Principles work—no matter who you are, no matter where you are. If the principle is true, it works. You need principles that will help in evaluating a relationship. If you are not in a relationship, these guidelines will help you evaluate as you look for Mr. or Mrs. Right. If you are in a relationship, this will help in building it. Some people are in a relationship and planning to marry. Some people may even be living as married but didn’t get principles to use, well, you have them now. The principles that I speak of can help your relationship get better and last longer. This book is to encourage, inform and inspire people and give them tools that can be used. I believe that if you have the right tools you can build and fix anything.

I have made enough mistakes for everybody reading this book. I got married at age 23 and was young and foolish. A lot of things discussed in this book have been learned from observing people but also from my own experiences. As Michael Jackson said, I have looked at the man in the mirror. My hope is that you don’t have