The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It

By Bonnie Toner

After going through a very emotional time and finding very little help available, I decided to write a book about my experiences in order to help other people suffering in the same way as I was.

I researched questions commonly being asked about depression - resulting in my book, so you can be helped in the way that I was not, as I had to learn it all the hard way through sometimes bitter experience.

Each chapter is interspersed with what was going on in my life at the time so it is certainly not just another self-help book, as I lay bare my deepest feelings.

My journey will really help and inspire you

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Apr 17, 2009
• ISBN: 9781438967783

Bonnie Toner

I hail from Cheltenham in Gloucestershire. The 'Centre of the Cotswolds' with it's rolling hills and beautiful scenery. I would not want to live anywhere else. Born to a Welsh Father and an English Mother, and christened 'Laureen Bronwen', my name was soon shortened to 'Bonnie' and I have been known by that name since. I have two older brothers, a younger sister, two lovely twin daughters and three gorgeous grand-children - 2 girls and a boy. Living a healthy lifestyle, I regularly go to the local gym. I enjoy most types of music (except electronic disco beat music which drives me mad!), theatre, dancing (my ex partner, Rick Wilson, and myself were the first British Western Dance Champions in 1988). visiting stately homes, gardens, castles - in-fact any place of interest, cinema, family outings, gospel choir and socialising. You can catch up with me on my blog  http://howyoucanbeatdepression.blogspot.com and also follow me on twitter (link via my blog, RH side).      

Book preview

© 2009 Bonnie Toner. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 4/15/2009

ISBN: 978-1-4389-6778-3 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4389-6780-6 (sc)

The information in this book is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Always consult a medical

professional for a medical diagnosis or treatment of any kind.

This book is dedicated to my friend Jane

who has kept me going, given me strength

and

whose friendship means

so much to me

Also

To my precious family who always keep me strong

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It

Chapter 2

Discover the signs of an anxiety/panic attack

Chapter 3

Have you got stress and how to deal with it

Chapter 4

Exposed - the serious flaw in the UK N.H.S.

Chapter 5

Are you concerned about antidepressants - are there other alternatives

Chapter 6

The secrets of how you can stop those thoughts pounding through your brain

Chapter 7

The key to ‘feel good’ foods and how they can help

Chapter 8

The simple truth of how you should not put up with stress in the workplace

Chapter 9

How stress can double the misery of hot flashes

and cold sweats during the menopause

Chapter 10

Countdown to the long awaited appointment

Summary and Conclusion

Conclusion

Legal Disclaimers

This book is presented to you for informational purposes only and is not a substitution for any professional advice.

It is the author’s true story and the solutions found that personally helped the author who has written it in the hope that it could benefit you also.

Thereby the contents herein are based on the views and opinions of the author and any associated contributors.

While every effort has been made by the author and any associated contributors to present accurate and up to date information within this document, it is apparent technologies rapidly change. Therefore, the author and any associated contributors reserve the right to update the contents and information provided herein as these changes progress.

The author and/or any associated contributors take no responsibility for any errors or omissions if such discrepancies exist within this document.

The author and any other contributors accept no responsibility for any consequential actions taken, whether monetary, legal, health, or otherwise, by any and all readers of the materials provided.

It is the reader’s sole responsibility to seek professional advice before taking any action on their part.

It is recommended that you have a health check-up from your GP before commencing any exercise program.

Introduction

‘The Truth about Depression and How You can Beat It’ came about from my own experience and I soon realized how it could help you also.

It is a 100% original story based on what I have gone through and how I came out on the other side. It has been a very emotional journey from which I have learned a great deal about myself whilst also being convinced, first hand, that you do not have to suffer and you do not necessarily have to resort to anti-depressants. There are other alternatives you can try first.

I am not an author, writer nor a doctor - just one person writing from (sometimes) bitter experience. This is my first attempt at a book, so it is very special and personal to me so I am very proud to be able to share it with you. It is hoped that my story will inspire you as you read how I was pushed to the very limit of my endurance in an effort just to survive.

Because I was literally writing this as my journey unfolded, it is naturally jumping from one subject to another. I hope this will be more interesting than confusing. It shows, as nothing else can - what was going through my mind, as it was all unravelling. In this respect, do not expect a totally structured book because it is not meant to be and was never the idea either. You must also remember that I was not entirely in my right mind.

You can learn of the many options that can help you and it is all things that I have tried and can personally recommend.

At the time of starting this book, my journey was not yet over so I am charting my experiences as they were happening, not knowing how it was ultimately going to turn out. It has been very painful for me, made more difficult by the fact that I was still going through my illness. Writing this book really helped me on my road to recovery. It has also made me very aware that I was asking myself questions which were not being answered so I now feel in the position that I can answer the many questions that you are probably asking yourself.

Depression and Stress can be self destructive and my book is to show you that you do not have to live with it, or let it ruin your life, so follow me on my journey and you and I can be helped together.

This book was started on the 20th August 2008.

Life is for living and enjoying. You only live once. It is not a rehearsal. Leave no room for regrets.

Chapter 1

The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It

Do you feel depressed and are you fed up with people telling you to ‘pull yourself together’? then I really feel for you because I have been there.

Depression is an illness and you must firstly acknowledge that fact and never be afraid to ask for help.

You then actually wonder if you do have depression - you don’t know the signs - you go to the doctors - he tells you that you do have depression and - prescribes a pill. Job done, in his opinion. Treat the depression but ignore the underlying emotional causes. You then wonder if emotions can be treated with a pill! Well I certainly don’t think so, and I am speaking from experience. I came out of my surgery with a couple of leaflets.

I read a question recently, that asked ‘I have decided to see someone about my depression, my question is who?’. Personally, if I had a choice (and there is very little in the UK), I would head straight to a therapist/counsellor as I firmly believe that you need to talk about the emotional state you have found yourself in. As a last resort pills may have to be prescribed in conjunction with cognitive therapy (being a change in your thoughts and attitudes)

So, let’s talk about the symptoms of depression that you may be experiencing - then at least you can understand your rollercoaster feelings a little.

 You may have feelings of misery, despair and hopelessness - usually for no reason. Of course there may be a good reason like a bereavement, divorce etc., in which case you are naturally going to feel depressed

 There may also be a feeling of sadness when there is maybe nothing to feel sad about

 Finding yourself in tears for no logical reason

 You may feel a sense of failure when this is really not realistic

 Changes in appetite (eating too much or too little) and disturbed sleep

 A complete lack of motivation or energy

 Difficulty in making decisions or even being able to concentrate on anything

 Experience physical aches and pains

 When you are amongst people, you feel loneliness, even around your own family

 Any minor thing that happens, you feel extreme guilt

 Your self esteem has gone out of the window and you feel a loss of identity

 You have thoughts of death or suicide

Basically, if your loss of interest in life and low mood interferes with your work life, family or home life, and it lasts for more than a few weeks or more, and you are brought to the point of thinking about suicide, then you may be experiencing clinical depression and that is the time to seek help. In this respect it is widely acknowledged that both drug and therapy/counselling services can help. There are treatments that can work well.

For the sake of your family and friends, I urge you not to ignore such feelings.

There are 2 main different types of depression. The one, is when you suffer a bereavement, divorce or other traumatic incident in your life, when you feel a sense of sadness and loss. These feelings usually diminish in time and you can usually carry on much the same as usual. This is classed as ‘healthy depression’.

The other, is the illness which is commonly classed as depression by the medical profession. You may feel sad more intensely and for longer. You may end up losing interest in the things that you used to enjoy and that is when it interferes with your family life, work, and social life.

Depression varies from healthy sadness in various ways

 You must remember that it is an illness

 Even though you can be healed from it you still feel utterly hopeless at the time

 Like it or not, it is not realistic and always comes from your own distorted thoughts

 It can go on and on so it is imperative that you seek help

 Your self esteem can be lost

 Through depression you may be unable to function productively

Depression changes the way you think as well as the way you feel. You tend to look on the black side of everything. You see the worse in your life, your future, and worse of all - yourself. It is this sort of negative thinking that not only triggers depression - it can dramatically slow down the recovery process. You need to learn how to spot and catch all these ‘bad’ thoughts and this is a skill you can master - with time. Nobody says that it is going to be easy, and I found this out the hard way.

Never give up as most people recover completely. All you can do is to try to live ‘one day at a time’ and keep reminding yourself that you will not always feel like this. I know for a fact that this is very difficult to do. I just could not imagine feeling any different but then I realized that I was just feeling defeated before I started and that this was not a good way to move forward. I gave myself a swift ‘telling off’ and was reminded of my precious family and how I owed it to them to recover. It was made more difficult by the fact that I live alone, so I literally had to grab what little help there was available, not wanting to burden my family who had their own problems to deal with.

It’s a sad fact of life, that with the state of the way things are - credit crunch, bills going up out of all proportion and trying to cope with it all, that a lot of stress, depression and anxiety is caused through things out of your control and you are left to somehow deal with the ‘fallout’.

Maybe, like me it has been impossible to find the support that you so desperately seek and like me you have been forced to more or less, find your own way through it.

You can believe me when I say it will make you a stronger person and send your self-esteem sky high.

The thing to ask yourself is ‘What am I really depressed about’? jot all the answers down on a piece of paper - face up to your ‘demons’. This way, the answer almost forces you to have to do something about it.

When I went to my doctor’s (who was originally a registrar doing ’time’ in the practice) he did not even ask me this question. He just (more than likely) saw a stressed and obviously depressed ‘neurotic’ woman and his first (and only) instinct was to prescribe a ‘magic’ pill. From the start I could not understand this reasoning. Would drugs magically solve all my problems (if only it was that simple) A pill for every occasion - great - worry about any unwanted side effects after - not likely, I thought.

You will notice that the doctor will just sit there and wait for you to (try) and tell him what’s wrong. In the UK we only have a 10 min. slot so as soon as you get into the surgery you do not have a clue as to where to start. In the end, you just come out with bits and pieces and the whole story never gets told. I found this so frustrating and also the fact that my doctor did not even ask me pertinent questions in order to make an informed decision. I had written things down but didn’t really have a chance to go through it all despite trying to keep it brief.

Enough doom and gloom. So now you have discovered that ‘yes’ you do have depression and are now wondering if there is anything you can do to help yourself (after all, who else

is going to?). You really do want to help yourself because you need to take control and feel empowered. You can do it, I did and if I can then anybody can.

Let’s talk about practical ways that you can help yourself.

 Avoid sitting around moping and doing nothing, Keep active, even when you really do not feel like it. If you get going again, you will feel so much more good about yourself

 Consider doing the things you used to do regularly and enjoyed

 Gradually increase your routine of pleasant activities - which will make you feel good

 If you consider a task too difficult - it is a good idea to break it up into chunk size pieces and do a bit at a time. I actually did this yesterday when I knew I had to ‘attack’ my overgrown garden. I am doing a bit at a time and feel so much better seeing the transformation before my eyes.

 Ensure you do at least a little bit of exercise each day. Exercise will help to produce natural endorphins and make you feel better. If you just cannot face going out, then why not put on your favourite music CD or the music channel on the TV and ‘dance your socks off’. Put your heart and soul into it, throw yourself about, thrash those arms, have fun! sing along to the music - have a party for one. When I say a ‘party‘ we are not talking alcohol here.. Alcohol is a depressant and will make you worse. It may put you on a ‘high’ for a short while but then it will plunge you rapidly into a ‘low’.

 Reward yourself for your efforts (no…not with alcohol) go out and buy yourself a treat, you deserve it for your efforts.