Stumbling in Darkness: Separated from God

By Laura Dawn

The title: "Stumbling in Darkness ~ Separated from God (A journey to the Light) ...is a life summarized.
May this book inspire you to seek the LORD God, read His Wordthe Holy Bible, and get to know Him as He reveals Himself to you through the Spirit in Jesus Christ.

It is Gods will for all of us to know Him and receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
In both Testaments God says, I will be their God and they will be My children.
(Lev 26:12) - (Rev 21:7) this statement is repeated many times. God desires to have a relationship with each one of us. Hes long suffering patiently waiting for us to come to Him. However, He has a set year, month, day and time when the waiting ends.

Take an honest look at yourself and ask do you know the love of God?
Do you know Jesus Christ personally?
Is your name written in The Book of Life?
Are you a slave to addictions, lost in sinful desires?
Will you be welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven?
Do you put everyone and everything before and above God?

We are living in what Scripture calls "the last days" the end of life as we know it.
Though it is a world without endas we know itis becoming a memory.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 28, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450261616

Laura Dawn

Laura's first published work is a poem in the collection - Twilight Musings. Winning 'Editor's Choice' - it was selected to be read over music on CD. An accomplished author, she dedicates her life leading others to the cross. Boldly sharing her struggle in sin to fill a void - blind to the answer that was close to her heart all along. Today she's, a guest speaker on TV ministries, groups; a Bible Study teacher, she loves talking to anyone, especially youths regarding issues she's overcome in Christ! Laura was the sole owner/operator of the first Day Spa in her N. Dallas town before their popularity; a divorced mother of a daughter with Annorexia/Bulemia. She's endured trials most of her life; 30-years of chronic pain, thus, an expert in narcotics and anxiety; plus...rape/sexual, physical, emotional abuse; abortion, the death of her sister, (her only sibling). A cancer survivor of 3-years when hit by a car and deemed 'disabled' - on SSI & food stamps. Neglected, rejected, and hurt by family loved and trusted - abusing self to mask the pain, yet she never lost faith! Believing in God from childhood, but didn't know Him; thus the life she created was built on sand. In the storm of cancer at age 38, she read Scripture for the first time. After a few short years and countless hours of study, she is a born-again woman growing in the image of Christ! Today, Laura has victory over ALL she suffered--the temptation of old habits--even persecution for His Name. The title: "Stumbling in Darkness ~ Separated from God” (A journey to the Light) ...is Laura’s life summarized. Prompted by the Holy Spirit--the real author of the book--Laura was God's tool used to lead by His Spirit, experience, and faith, those who don't know the LORD, misunderstand His will, or who think its too late for them. In admitting her faults; low self-esteem, wrong mind-set, poor choices, hence, a sinful life--God's power and desire to change the 'least worthy' of us, reveals His tender-hearted mercy, patience, and love--and He is worthy of all praise and glory! Laura's had and lost it all. Lived without God and now…God's Spirit dwells in her. Despite circumstances, she's filled with peace, inner joy, and love of the Lord Jesus Christ...born-again...a blessed child of The Most High God.

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Contents

Prologue

CHAPTER ONE

God’s Will Be Done

CHAPTER TWO

Let the Children Come To Me

CHAPTER THREE

Forgive and You Shall Be Forgiven

CHAPTER FOUR

Teach Your Children

CHAPTER FIVE

It Is As You Believed

CHAPTER SIX

Growing In Christ

CHAPTER SEVEN

Follow Me or Perish

CHAPTER EIGHT

No gods Before Me

CHAPTER NINE

Only God is Good

CHAPTER TEN

By His Stripes - I’m Healed

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Signs and Wonders and Hatred

CHAPTER TWELVE

Your Faith Has Saved You

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Narrow Is the Gate

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The Commandments and Sin

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The Last Days

To my friend, counselor, brother, Father. You chose to give me life now and forever. You blessed me when I didn’t notice. You gave Your love when I didn’t seek it, and gave Your life for mine, yet I’m undeserving. You forgave me of all the ways I hurt You and never abandoned me. You were patient for me to realize how much I need You, and accepted me as I am, and revealed Your heart to me that I should know Your perfect love. Thank You my LORD, Jesus. You’re my life and You have my heart…I love You.

Baby egg…I love you so. Please…don’t love the world, but listen for God’s voice in your heart, not the lies in your head. He has all you seek – trust Jesus to take your pain and give His love and set you free!

Mom and dad…be happy for me…as I am. Know the Life beyond the ashes - take hold of faith and do not let go. I’ve always loved you both dearly.

Kim and Patrice…girls with hearts always willing to help. Michelle (Fitz)…distance and time never kept us apart. The Lord used your individual relationships in Him to lead me to the cross - the Soul Winners crown awaits you! Karen…NYE ’06, you were the 1st I gave a Bible too, my own. May you find the love you seek in the Word. Each of you left an indelible mark in my life, and I love you, my four beautiful friends…sisters forever perfect in His kingdom.

Cuddles, Gizmo, Snowflake, Bella and Boo – each sat quietly by my side or on my lap as I pray daily on the floor; like angels in disguise understanding my words. I thank God for the pure unconditional love shown in the sweet little face of each of my cats. Trusting me completely to meet their needs; I realized this is the absolute trust we are to have in God. They lean on me as I learned to lean on Him for all my needs. My home and life would be so empty without each one of them.

RIP

Gizmo – my little angel – I miss you so.

May 2000 – January 2010

Prologue

Jesus said; You’ll know them by their fruit. (Mat 7:20) A genuine experience with God demands a new attitude, a complete change seen by all, as a new creation in Christ. (2 Cor 5:17) Anything less is intellectual and not from the heart. Unless you are born-again, you will NOT see or enter the Kingdom of God. (Jn 3:3-5) Salvation is only by the grace of God through faith; two unearned gifts of God. The just shall live by faith. (Gal 3:11) If you don’t seek Him – your heart will become hard, faith will fade and life will be centered on you. But if you’re willing to give up all for Him; God will turn unholy into holy. Jesus is hard to follow, He demands sacrifices. Moses, Abraham, and Simon-Peter (to name a few called to do so), married with kids but left spouse, children, parents and land for God. We must be willing to do the same or we are not worthy of Him, as written. (Mat 10:37; 19:39) All who follow Christ will suffer persecution; the world is at war with God. (2 Tim 3:12) Jesus said; Those who endure to the end, will be saved. (Mat 10:22) Whoever rejects Him – will be rejected. (Jn 12:48) Only Jesus Christ can save your soul. Come to God as you are; today is a perfect day to start! There’s a moment that will be too late. Jesus said; Whoever has, more will be given and he will have more than enough. But whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. (Mat 13:12) Faith: it either grows or withers; you’re either close to God, or separated from Him. (Is 59:2) You have free will to enter Paradise, or stumble into the dark Abyss. Your choice is your eternal destiny.

Where will you spend eternity?

Did you know the word for BELIEVE means…

Lean on, cling to, and rely on God? (AMP)

Do you offer this kind of love to God?

If the answer is NO –

I pray this book inspires you to seek God, read His Word–the Holy Bible, and let the Lord reveal Himself to you though His Holy Spirit.

It is God’s will for all of us to know Him and receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

In both Testaments God says,

I will be their God and they will be My children.

(Lev 26:12) to (Rev 21:7) this statement is repeated many times. God desires to have a relationship with each of us. He’s long suffering in patiently waiting for us to come to Him. But He has a set year, month, day and time – when the waiting ends.

Take an honest look at yourself and ask – do you know the love of God?

Do you know Jesus personally?

Is your name written in The Book of Life?

Are you a slave to addictions, lost in sinful desires?

Will you be welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven?

Do you put everyone and everything before and above God?

We are living in what Scripture calls – the last days – the end of life as we know it. Though it is a world without end…as we know it…is becoming a memory.

The LORD our God…The LORD is ONE, The Most High, Creator of Life, YHvH, Messiah, Author and Finisher, GOD of god’s and LORD of lords, The Door, Shield, The Gate, LORD of the Sabbath, The Good Shepard, Αλπηα ανδ Οµεγα−(Alpha and Omega), LORD, The Living God, All Knowing, Ruler, Elohim, Ever Present, The Eternal, Majestic King, King of the Earth, Deliverer, Redeemer, Healer, Hiding Place, Holy Spirit, The Almighty, Invisible God, Everlasting Father, Lamb of God, Protector, Bread of Life, Living Water, Lord of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, Savior, Jealous God, Tower, Hosanna, Light of the World, All Powerful, God of Comfort, Spirit of Truth, Adonai, Bright Morning Star, Advocate, Hope, GOD, Refuge from the Storm, Key of David, Lord Who Heals, The Word, Resting Place, Stronghold, Teacher, Eternal Life, Strength, Lord of Peace, Friend, Love, Provider, Restorer, Mediator, Consuming Fire, the Way, the Truth, the Life, Suffering Servant, Son of God, Son of Man, Master, Compassionate, Gracious, Patient, Merciful, Pure, The Living One, Righteous, The Holy ONE, Yeshua, The Faithful and True Witness, Rewarder, Forgiving, I AM, The ONE Who Examines Minds and Hearts, Husband, First and Last - Beginning and End, Abba/Father, God of Israel, ONE and ONLY, Worthy, Faithful and True, KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS, The Resurrection and the Life. Jesus Christ—My Personal Lord and Savior.

The Most High God – I AM, is so much more than we could ever imagine. These are a few of the many names of The Living God. He is whatever we who love Him need Him to be. He wants nothing more than this: Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (Jam 4:8)

The many facets of the Lord are lovely; but unfortunately some believe God in the Old Testament is not the same God as seen through Christ in the New Testament; though He repeatedly warns all will be judged. Many are blind to God’s pain over those who don’t believe in His Son Jesus. (Jn 10:30) Despite His very real anger as written in both testaments; His patience and love is shared through His Spirit to the prophets, Jesus and the apostles—who warn of the coming ‘Day of the Lord.’ God never changes. (Heb 13:8) He calls Himself a Consuming Fire (Deut 4:24) Jealous God. (Ex 20:5) He has appointed a Day of Judgment for every spoken word, thought and deed – in secret or open, and how we treated our body (the temple for His Spirit), and how or if – His Commandments were kept. (Jer 17:10) (2 Cor 5:10)

Many toss around the Name of God as if common, but they’re cursing themselves as they break the 3rd Commandment: You shall NOT take the Name of the LORD your God in Vein, for The LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His Name in vein. (Ex 20:7) Not making God first in your life breaks His most important law: The 1st Commandment: You shall love The LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, all your mind. (Deut 6:5) (Lk 10:27) God must be first above all else, even loved ones. He blesses us beyond our needs after He’s put first – for His glory. (Mat 6:33) Thus no one can boast. (Eph 2:9)

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Rom 3:23) Jesus said; Only God is good. (Mk 10:18) Don’t try to change before seeking Him; He knows what you’ve done. (Rev 2:23) (Heb 4:13) Submit your will to God, confess your sins, repent [turn away from sin], ask Jesus to come into you and lead you in righteousness [right living]. Eternal life is ours if we seek to know Him. He fills us with His Spirit to enjoy abundant life today and forever. (Jn 10:10) (Eph 3-16-19) But like the prophets and apostles, Jesus warned all will be persecuted for His Name. (Mk 10:30) I share events that led me to know God in Christ Jesus in the hope it may help another desire His love. What I’ve typed God already knows—He alone is my judge.

Jesus said, I’ve not come to call the righteous but the sinners to repentance. (Lk 5:32) (Mk 2:17) (Mt 9:13) HSCB

CHAPTER ONE

God’s Will Be Done

I believe in God – therefore I speak.

(Ps 116:10) (2 Cor 4:13) AMP

I have loving memories of playing with my little sister (2½ years younger). Christmas Eve we always slept together. I’d sing carols making up silly lyrics egged by her laughing at my lines. My mom said she’s my biggest fan. I loved making her laugh. We share many secrets that are ours alone and did things our parents will never know. Like a movie running in my mind. I can see us having fun, playing as we grew up; as well as times (as the oldest) I’d bully her into doing any after school chore in addition to her own. Not often but of course she’d be mad at me and argued. But the second we heard a car pull in the driveway, we made friends with each other fixing our faces so we didn’t look like we were crying. We never harbored bitterness or un-forgiveness toward one another. We innocently learned to forgive and forget instantly. A Biblical principal God put in our hearts. He knew I would need this gift later.

Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand. (Prv 19:21) AMP

In the early ‘70’s, I had my tonsils removed; kids stayed in the hospital for a couple days eating ice cream then. When I came home, my sister ran to me and we hugged each for so long; we had never been apart before. Crying as we said how we loved and missed the other - we were unusually close. When we were separated, as time went by, once reunited, we hugged so tight and for so long giving tearful kisses. On my 13th birthday (she was 10), she began writing one or two paged letters expressing her love to her big sister, and her sorrow for not having a gift for lack of money saying, my letter is all I have to give – ending each one with a sincere declaration of her love. By her signature she drew happy faces of us, putting our names below each one, so her unique adorable smiles stare back at me. I can feel her love when I look at those faces; each birthday I pull out, read and display them. After my Bible, her letters are my most treasured possession. Dated and laminated; she had no idea the value she created in the gift of her handwritten letters.

Jesus said, Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted. (Mat 5:4) KJV

Before cell phones, I was an hour away spending Saturday night with my future husband who had no home phone. No one could find me. After a couple hours at his place a powerful sense came over me; something was wrong. I was compelled to drive back, and sure enough, a note was taped on the front door. It said I’m to take a cab to a hospital 30 minutes away. I didn’t wait but sped off with a pounding heart, chain smoking. I had no idea what was wrong or with whom. I pulled into the ER lot and saw my aunt waiting to lead me in, but didn’t say a word. Then I saw family huddled together; what I heard made my knees buckle, a metal tray caught my fall—rushing through the big doors to see her, but paused before going in her room to gain my composure. In the Burn-Unit I walked up to her feet; one pristine leg was exposed as I gently ran my fingers from her toes to her knee, staring at her, saying over and over –I love you, I love you…do you love me? Sternly I repeated this until she finally made the sound ah-ha (despite hearing she was unconscious). She couldn’t see me, as she was wrapped like a mummy from her knees to the top of her head. I could only see her brown hair on top, sticking out of bandages, singed. My sister (in the 3rd month of her 17th year) responded just once after I pressed her to answer me. Perhaps it was the bullying of our past, I don’t know—I leaned over her chest into her ear but couldn’t see her beautiful freckled face from the bandages covering the 3rd degree burns that ravaged 70% of her youthful body. Even so, I knew she could hear me because love gave her the strength to muster up her response—strength from God in whom we both believed in and loved. He gave the gift of saying I love you— one last time.

To be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord. (2 Cor 5:8) HCSB

Faith: Perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses. (Amplified Concordance)

We weren’t raised in a godly home but baptized as babies. We didn’t know to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. We never heard of the Holy Spirit, but we had faith in what we were told from the start of our lives, and received it as absolute truth. (Mat 18:3) We knew God’s Son died on a cross and went to heaven. We believed He lived as told by our parents and celebrated Christmas and ‘Easter’ but didn’t understand their meanings. Without knowing a Bible verse, I tried to give my sister an image of heaven in her minds eye to remove any fear, I said, "Sleep with the angels…I’ll see you soon…I love you." I was 19-years old when my little sister passed away that night. Yet, in the brief time