Christ Honouring marriage: It can be yours too!

By Dr Daniel Rampai

How do you delight your spouse through love and service?
How do you sustain and enjoy physical oneness?
Who holds the key to a happy, strong marriage?

Marriage is not an invention of man; marriage is a gift of God. Christ Honouring Marriage is a valuable tool for discovering how God can help couples faithfully follow His pattern for a happy, strong marriage. This book will help you lay the foundation for a marriage that honours Christ so that you can avoid frustration and devastation that follows disobedience.

It is often hard to find answers when we are confronted with challenges in our marriage, but through Christ Honouring Marriage you will empower yourself with practical, God-inspired direction that will help sustain God’s plan for your life with your God-appointed mate.

As married couples, our world-oriented marriages may have survived the challenges in the past. But the length of a marriage doesn’t signify its strength. What may serve as a marriage for you can become a prison for others, isolating them from the basic things needed to experience joyful and graceful marriages.

If this is what you want to experience, then the book in your hands offers potent hope. As you seek God together as a couple, you will draw closer to each other and develop a deep, close spiritual intimacy.

Christ Honouring Marriage will take you on a journey of discovery toward loving, intimate relationships and new-found treasures and joy in married life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dr Daniel Rampai
• Release date: May 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463829882

Book preview

CHRIST

HONOURING

marriage

CHRIST

HONOURING

marriage

Dr Daniel Rampai

Copyright © 2018 Dr Daniel Rampai

Published by Dr Daniel Rampai Publishing at Smashwords

First edition 2018

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the copyright holder.

The Author has made every effort to trace and acknowledge sources/resources/individuals. In the event that any images/information have been incorrectly attributed or credited, the Author will be pleased to rectify these omissions at the earliest opportunity.

Published by Dr Daniel Rampai using Reach Publishers’ services,

42 Estate Esperanza Furrow Road, Equestria, Pretoria, Gauteng

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Edited by Lorna King for Reach Publishers

Cover designed by Reach Publishers

P O Box 1384, Wandsbeck, South Africa, 3631

Website: www.reachpublishers.co.za

E-mail: [e-mail]

To the Word that has kept me alive, and the incalculable miracles unfolding in my life, the strength and the song it has been and continues to be in my life, transforming me from what I was to what I am – I say, all power to the Most High God!

And to the following special people:

Pastor Jerry Nieuwoudt, I trust that through this book, your prayers for me and my family have finally been answered.

Pastors Sam and Sarie Honiball, your guidance, support and confidence over the years in entrusting my wife and I with the delicate souls – preparing them for married life and reigniting the spark between couples in existing marriages – will forever linger in our minds as servants of the people.

Clevio and Cate Rapudi, you pursued me when the world was ready to savage me. I hope your obedience in honouring God by not giving up on me is hugely rewarded. Through your felicitous intercession, my wife and I found each other at last.

My wife, my precious Mapula, you are the reason for this book. You and my children have allowed me privacy and space to articulate our journey. Eternity will never be enough for me to forget the day the Lord brought you to me.

My friends and fellow church members who have been an invisible influence pervading my life.

God bless you all!

Introduction

One of the most effortless things I have ever had to do in recent months was to decide to write this book. It never was a thought I harboured or toyed with in the first place. Rather, it was a revelation that came to me during one of the busiest months of the year – December 2016 – during one of the tranquil interludes I have grown accustomed to experiencing and enjoying through my daily practice of meditation. Interestingly, I knew exactly what I needed to write about. It was about a mind-boggling notion: the concept of marriage. The beginning and the life thereafter. Its nobility. Its holiness, just like the concept of the church or Christ or God. Only holy.

I thought a great start would have to be my life and my marriage, my real-life experiences of the past 18 years. Revisiting the entire tapestry of my life, I couldn’t help but marvel at how necessary and perfect every aspect of my life has been. Every little step I took led eventually to something bigger and unimaginable, including obstacles and painful experiences along the way. I have lived through situations that have exposed me to suffering, and instilled in me the knowing that certain things in life happen for a reason – to prepare us for the tasks that lie ahead.

God is the pervading force that drew me to Christ, led me to His Word through Bible reading, and helped me discern the spiritual principles that have become the foundation of my life today.

My marriage underwent a radical transformation when I began to trust less in myself and more in the Lord. I learnt that to love is the greatest thing Christ wants us to do. When you love someone, you begin to be a blessing to them; a servant to them. This renewal is the product of an unwavering, wilful commitment to the Word of God. Mapula was the inimitable reason for my new-found life. As I sought to understand God’s purpose for our marriage, I was able to appreciate the need to make character changes.

The nature and extent of the unity that my marriage reflects today is the result of my obedience to the sovereign guidance and the command of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is at work, and I have allowed Him to lead me.

More and more I am convinced that couples who subscribe to the principles that govern marriages as recounted in Genesis, will enjoy the fulfilment of the end purpose of marriage.

There is no doubt that our marriage – and every marriage – needs nurturing. For marriages to grow, they need to be kept healthy, because anything that is sick and continues to be neglected eventually dies. A good and healthy marriage subscribes to the biblical pattern of marriage and repulses the standard of marriage applied by the world today.

This book is intended to provide you with the requisite help you need to rescue your marriage, as well as the divine steps you need to follow to build a Christ-honouring marriage.

In Chapter 1 I attempt to give you the insight into God’s hand in my rendezvous with Mapula. Chapter 2 explains why marriage is the only institution that has come down to mankind from the other side of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.

I submit to the holy truth that God ordained marriage before sin infiltrated the world and He intended it to be the fullest, richest and most joyous life on earth. It is here that attention is demanded from each of us, because, if a marriage falls short of what God had intended it to be, fault cannot be imputed to the institution itself, but to the people who enter into it carelessly and treat the divine standards of marriage with disdain.

This book is my effort to demonstrate how you can build the marriage God wants for you. I have written what I consider a roadmap to assist you to discern God’s will for you to marry, and when you do, how to prepare yourself for marriage and the life that follows. Couples in existing marriages will also learn how they can transform their marriages into divine partnerships: a journey of two bound together, guided by God to a lifelong bliss.

Chapters 3 to 9 contain the much needed solution designed to empower millions of couples to deal with unique, critical problems confronting their marriages on a daily basis: those who are separated or are about to separate, or are contemplating divorce.

In Chapter 10, Mapula recounts her journey as a married 21-year-old; how she had to quickly mature beyond her years to keep up with the demands of married life, and how, amidst the frustrations and traumatic experiences she endured, she tirelessly held the marital flag high.

I hope and pray that the insights we have shared in this book, will not only transform you as a couple from pleasing to perfect, but will transform your marriage into a transformatory union that will positively impact the lives of thousands of married couples.

Take these ideas and insights and put them to use, first in your own marriage, and then share them with other couples, and watch your marriage morph into a perfect unity that God intended it to be.

I trust this book will help you in this endeavour.

God bless!

Dr Daniel Rampai

CONTENTS

Introduction

1. A Never-Ending Bond

2. The Word Says

3. Joy in Brokenness

4. Putting Your House in Order

5. To Live is to Love

6. We’re Still Sailing

7. To Love and to Submit

8. Bringing Harmony Into Marriage

9. Misguided Maxims

10. Her Story

Bibliography

About the Author

1

A Never-Ending Bond

The morning was perfect. The bright blue sky, crisp greens here and there, and fresh summer odours were all around as I confidently drove through the gate of the residential complex in which I rented an apartment. The month was February, in the year 1999. I had been in Pretoria for just a few months, having descended into the Jacaranda City from Richards Bay in KwaZulu-Natal where I had sojourned.

My thoughts were cool, reasoned and comfortable in the gentle morning breeze, and I had not imagined an encounter with any object of distraction apart from the usual sounds of cars with divergent engines, burning the rubber, and the occasional voices of anxious pedestrians hurrying across the road unwittingly inviting hooters from impatient drivers.

Out of the corner of my right eye, I captured a picture of a beautiful young woman. Standing next to her was an old lady who, judging by her looks, resembled a domestic. My eyes instantly met hers and she looked at me expressionlessly. I couldn’t read anything in her eyes. She was doe-eyed, alluring, incredibly beautiful and confident.

But there was something deep about the young woman’s eyes. I was captivated by them as though I had an obligation to look into them...to discover what she was thinking, like I had to see inside her...and I couldn’t. The windows of her soul were firmly shut, and there was nothing to see except the perfect precision of her majestically carved royal face. It was enchanting and honest. Yet it was not the face one would dare touch.

Despite her obvious youth and beauty, there was nothing unsavoury about her, nothing flirtatious, nothing distasteful. She had surrounded herself with an aura of distance that masked her tenderness and vulnerability. And even though her eyes were clear, her face did not give much away.

This mystery woman couldn’t have passed for a local girl, regardless of her delightful appearance. The way she looked at me, the way she stood, like a young princess, bounding with poise and grace, she was a darling among other young women I had seen in the past.

There was something almost too majestic about her, like it would hurt to look at her for too long a time. I so much wanted to tap her on the shoulder and ask her why – why she was there and what she was doing waiting for a bus at a place I wasn’t even sure was a bus stop.

An avalanche of questions took over my lone mind: Where did she come from? Where had she been all this time? Where was she going? Would I ever see her again?

While she waited for the bus, her eyes remained firmly fixed on me – and yet they offered no clue about her emotions. She simply stood there...very straight, arms folded, tropical legged, and so young and innocent – a picture of perfection.

Dwelling on whether I would see her again or not, wouldn’t help, I concluded. But still, the possibility of not seeing her flawless face again was intolerable, almost paralysing.

Then, back on the road in the midst of the morning traffic, I immediately retreated to prayer. I gripped the steering wheel so firmly that the veins began to sprout on the outside of my hands. It was at times like this that my resilience would assume the form of rapid-fire pleading and praise. Thank you Father for the beauty you have just revealed to me...I pray you present my darling to me at the same time tomorrow...but who is she and where has she been? I am afraid I may not see her again...and Father, please help me…because I believe she is the bride I have been praying for…Amen!

This was more of a conversation than a prayer, but it triggered two lone tears that began to travel slowly down my cheeks into my mouth – which I realised was open.

As I negotiated my way through the heavy morning traffic, I wondered why God had chosen this day of all days to create such a beautiful encounter.

Was it a coincidence or was it an incident that would change the course of my life forever?

I immediately composed myself, paraded my thoughts, and smiled a smile of nervous anticipation which was the product more of my anxiety than joy.

For a man who had tumbled from a lofty height, things seemed settled and I felt ready and comfortable to meet my darling again. When I left