Remote Control Mittens

By Phoenix Baker

Sometime between Cyber Mittens and High Voltage Mittens, Sam and Nina went and rode rollercoasters, and bumped into Nina's friend Khushi.

Sometime later, Khushi told Sam and Nina what they'd unknowingly done to her during that brief encounter.

Sometime recently, Sam and Nina asked Khushi if they could write a story about it.

And sometime now, it's going to get sweaty.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phoenix Baker
• Release date: Dec 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370684748

Phoenix Baker

Hello! I write smut. Or rather, I write happy, sex-positive stories that aren't afraid of the occasional bit of blatant humanity. When was the last time you saw a character in a novel stop mid-sentence to sneeze? Or walk into a room, immediately forget what the hell she went in there for, and wander around for a minute trying to remember what she was doing? These little malfunctions are a part of being alive, and I think we need to see more of them in our fiction. I hope that you enjoy my stories about malfunctioning humans who fall in love and do really weird things to each other.About me:I am kept warm and dry by a beautiful redhead, who keeps me in a little hutch at the bottom of her garden. I write my stories in the dirt with a stick, and then I sit on them until they hatch into ebooks. I give those ebooks to Amazon and Smashwords, and then people send me shiny pennies by abstracting them into ones and zeroes and pushing them to me through a big hose. I don't properly understand how it works, but it lets me buy more carrots, so that's okay.Amazon told me to write a proper biography like the guy who wrote "Angela's Ashes," but he uses his real name and has won awards, and he probably writes using a computer or something, not a stick. I haven't won any awards.

Book preview

Remote Control Mittens

by Phoenix Baker

Copyright 2017

Smashwords Edition

Remote Control Mittens

Samantha: Well, here we are again.

Nina: Yup.

Samantha: Another short one?

Nina: I wanted to crowbar this little adventure in. :)

Samantha: So this is actually mostly about a friend of ours.

Samantha: Permission has been granted.

Samantha: Names have been changed.

Samantha: We wouldn't have put this in the Mittens continuity in the first place, seeing as it's less about sex and more about one specific lovely moment, but...

Samantha: Well...

Nina: We only just found out that this happened!

Nina: I mean, this was years ago, now, and we were at a party last week and it just, kind of... came out.

Samantha: There was SO much giggling.

Nina: It wasn't as awkward as you might think.

Samantha: We are being deliberately opaque here.

Nina: You'll see why. Enjoy!

***

Heading out of the restroom, Khushi saw a familiar face passing by in front of the arcade, on the way to the Jumping Rabbit.

The familiar face saw her, too.

Khushi! called Nina, and she came bounding across the midway, bringing along - who was that? Samantha?

Yes, that's Samantha... And they're holding hands?

Nina? Sam? said Khushi. What're you doing here?

Internally, Khushi sighed. Start asking a question. Realize after you've said the first word that it's a stupid question. Finish asking said question anyway, knowing that you sound like an idiot. Wonderful.

"Rollercoasters! cried Nina. What're you doing here?"

Khushi grinned. And, just like that, Nina flips things around so I don't have to feel silly anymore.

She's awesome.

Rollercoasters, agreed Khushi. Adrian's gonna meet me here after work.

Abruptly, she felt a vibration around her midsection.

Now?! Now, while I'm talking to Nina?! Adrian, you bastard, I'm going to - oh. That's my phone. She unzipped and reached into her fanny pack. In fact, he's just texted me now - oh.

Samantha frowned. Everything all right?

Khushi looked up from her phone. He's stuck in traffic. Says the tunnel's blocked, looks like an accident.

Samantha grimaced. "Yeesh. Those things are hell on a normal day."

Tell me about it, said Khushi, firing back an Okay, see you soon text and replacing her phone in the fanny pack. Well, this is a co-incidence!

Nina grinned. Isn't it just!

Samantha grinned, too, but there was something else in that grin - Khushi couldn't quite put her finger on it. "We're gonna head over to the Jumping Rabbit. You want to