Strap On Mittens

By Phoenix Baker

Samantha and Nina order a new toy, and when it turns up Samantha whacks it in a vise and gets the drill out. It'll make sense, don't worry. In the interim, Samantha whispers some words and makes some noises that get Nina so horny she licks a door. That'll probably make sense too before we're done. Strap On Mittens is book six of the award-winning "Mittens" series, guaranteed to make you blush.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phoenix Baker
• Release date: Dec 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005088453

Phoenix Baker

Hello! I write smut. Or rather, I write happy, sex-positive stories that aren't afraid of the occasional bit of blatant humanity. When was the last time you saw a character in a novel stop mid-sentence to sneeze? Or walk into a room, immediately forget what the hell she went in there for, and wander around for a minute trying to remember what she was doing? These little malfunctions are a part of being alive, and I think we need to see more of them in our fiction. I hope that you enjoy my stories about malfunctioning humans who fall in love and do really weird things to each other.About me:I am kept warm and dry by a beautiful redhead, who keeps me in a little hutch at the bottom of her garden. I write my stories in the dirt with a stick, and then I sit on them until they hatch into ebooks. I give those ebooks to Amazon and Smashwords, and then people send me shiny pennies by abstracting them into ones and zeroes and pushing them to me through a big hose. I don't properly understand how it works, but it lets me buy more carrots, so that's okay.Amazon told me to write a proper biography like the guy who wrote "Angela's Ashes," but he uses his real name and has won awards, and he probably writes using a computer or something, not a stick. I haven't won any awards.

Book preview

Strap On Mittens

by Phoenix Baker

Copyright 2020

Smashwords Edition

Strap On Mittens

Samantha slammed the lid of her laptop down as Nina rounded the corner.

Nina froze in the doorway, glanced bedheaded at Samantha's laptop, back up into her eyes.

Samantha grinned sheepishly, unconsciously letting an elbow rest on the lid.

Well good morning to you too, murmured Nina, suspiciously.

Jesus, how much did she see?! Morning! said Samantha, a little too enthusiastically. Coffee's in the pot.

Smelled it from upstairs, smiled Nina, padding over to the counter, opening a cabinet. Proving that you're just as good at getting me out of bed as you are at getting me in it. She selected a mug - her usual mug, Samantha noticed - and spoke as she filled it. Whatcha sneaking at?

Samantha winced. Um.

Nina looked over her shoulder, showed Samantha a grin. You must've been really engrossed. You normally hear me coming.

Barefoot! accused Samantha, pointing.

Bareass too, grinned Nina, flicking the base of her T-shirt to glimpse Samantha a pair of pale, freckled curves. She opened a drawer, wielded a spoon. If you were reading porn, you should share it.

No, mumbled Samantha, not exactly.

Fanfic? teased Nina, taking sugar. Embarrassing erotic fanfic? She stirred, and turned, cup in hand, towards Samantha. Oh, you're blushing. Her smile broadened. "Must be really embarrassing fanfic. She looked towards the ceiling for a moment. I'm gonna guess... Christian Sonic the Hedgehog."

Samantha blinked. What? No!

Voldemort and Gandalf the Gray.

Samantha snrked. Not that either.

Robin Hood, fox-form, in a threesome with Cary Elwes and Mister Clean.

No, headshook Samantha, also, these are all guys.

Nina shrugged. It's reasonable to miss cock every now and then.

Samantha stared. Nina grinned back.

Well, sighed Samantha. Right. She opened her laptop, closed all the tabs. That's _that_ question answered.

Nina's eyebrows rose. "Is that what you were Googling? Whether it's okay for a bisexual woman in a lesbian relationship to get a hankering for dick from time to time?"

Samantha felt her blush reach her ears, and looked up from her laptop. Duckduckgo'ing.

Nina waved her mug at Samantha, coffee sloshing inside. "Nobody's ever gonna say that. Call it ducking or something, Christ."

Asking the Duck, muttered Samantha. Luckyducking? Googling without getting spied on.

Nina shook her head. Nope! She padded towards the fridge. Too early in the morning for an internet privacy lecture. I'll have to distract you from that subject by opening this fridge here, she did so, "bending down low, and doing an exaggerated search for the cream. Oh creeee-eeeam, where aaaare you..."

So, Samantha nervously asked Nina's wiggling ass, it's okay?

The other, slightly less-freckled end of Nina appeared and cocked an eyebrow at Samantha over the fridge door. To miss cock?

Samantha nodded. Yeah. I just felt... weird about it, knowing that I love you, and craving this thing that you don't have, and meanwhile we're at the stage of our relationship where you have a favorite mug at my house.

Nina, already pouring, raised her eyebrows at the mug in her hand. Huh.

So it's normal?

Nina replaced the cream, closed the door. It's normal for some women, yeah. She padded across the floor towards Samantha, pulled out a chair, sat down. "But I can tell it's giving you some anxiety, so let's talk about it. Do you miss the penis, or the gentleman to whom it