Face Your Foe On Confronting The Critics

By Nicholl McGuire

They are self righteous, critical, and out for blood, the naysayers that Jesus warned about who hated him will hate you too. In this spiritual self improvement book on confronting the critics, inspirational speaker and author Nicholl McGuire provides wisdom on discerning whether you have a friend or foe in your circle. She shares personal perspective based on biblical scriptures about foes and gives specific details about the people you might encounter such as: the double-minded, fool, rebel, and tempter. There is much advice in this guide on how to deal with confrontation, not just with those of faith, but unbelieving relatives and friends. The certified Sunday School teacher covers a variety of topics to encourage you to not only face your foe but the issues that keep one emotionally and mentally bound to them as well.

- Learn more about wayward believers before you confront them.
- Know what reactions you might receive when you are ready to confront an enemy.
- Overcome worry and fear that keep you from addressing issues.
- Think ahead of your foe.
- Be prepared for what an insulted critic might do to hurt you.
- Read scriptures to enlighten.

This easy read will empower you to stand up to critics! In this book, you will discover how heated confrontations unveil what your foe's true intentions, emotions, and plans really are! Your foes don't want you to know the truth. This is why they hide, lie, blame, ridicule, and do other things to keep you from confronting them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nicholl McGuire
• Release date: Jun 9, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370908301

Nicholl McGuire

A native of Pittsburgh PA and a transplant in Southern California, Nicholl McGuire is the author of "Laboring to Love Myself," "Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate," "When Mothers Cry," and other books. Nicholl runs a home-based business, Nicholl McGuire Media, providing writing and publishing services for individuals and businesses in need of website and blog content, family memoirs, visual presentations, clerical tasks, and more. Nicholl has been publishing online since 2007. Her work has appeared on eHow, Hub Pages, College Central, Axis of Logic, Natural Beauty Secret, Street Articles, Bukisa, Authors Den, and many other websites and blogs. Nicholl attended Point Park University and took classes in Journalism and Communications. In addition to writing, she offers spiritual wisdom on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7. A born again Christian believer, survivor of domestic violence and a mother of four sons, Nicholl is a woman who definitely knows about the challenges of loving one's self and others.

Book preview

Face Your Foe

On Confronting the Critics

Published by Nicholl McGuire Media at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition

copyright 2016 by Nicholl McGuire

Smashwords License Statement

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

1 An Overview of Wayward Believers

2 How to Know You Have a Foe

3 What They Say about Your Foe

4 Typical Reactions to Foes

5 Overcoming Fear: Confronting the Foe

6 Anticipate Your Foe's Next Move

7 In the Heat of Battle

8 You Said Too Much

9 The Upset and Confusion that Your Foe Causes

10 Double-Minded

11 Fault Finder

12 Troublemaker

13 Pervert

14 Know-it-All

15 A Fool

16 Rebel

17 Exaggerator

18 Tempter

19 Lovers of Themselves

Books and Blogs by Author

Introduction

I grew weary of listening to pretenders, so-called believers or children of light. I felt the only thing that was shining on some of them was yet another facade. They claimed they were helping myself and others with their story-telling, but were really nothing more than gossips, liars, and exaggerators. I thought of Luke 6:41-42, Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye?" The self righteous didn’t know what encouragement really was in between their spiteful criticisms. I didn’t go along with their dysfunctional programming based on their need to control myself and others and they didn’t like me for it.

As far as showing Christian love, these hypocrites especially men in leadership, they were carnal and lust-filled seeking the next gullible woman or man who would wet their appetites financially, materially or sexually! Some of these people in the church (and out of it too) would disguise their intentions with a friendly Hello while their arms reached out for a hug from an attractive person followed by a look, question or comment that was more than just being nice.

The wolves in sheep’s clothing were really foes. Some showed up for church services faithfully while others sporadically or not at all. These believers’ purpose for church attendance or lack thereof showed in the way they behaved as I got to know some of them. They weren’t much different than the world as far as I was concerned. I wasn’t completely sold out on God at that time in my life, so what did I care? Christians didn’t mind proudly stating, I am a believer…I believe in God, I am his child…I’m a Christian. I love the Lord. But when truth showed up like a beacon of light and shined upon their darkness, sin that they were still grappling with contradicted their claims.

While they paraded around like proud peacocks hoping no one could see through their facades, discerning believers, (who took God seriously including myself), knew what they were really about. In time, their concerns with me were with my faith and spiritual gifting along with the Holy Spirit that indwelled within me.

As I observed more and listened to their critical speech from 1997 and on, it was safe to say that their faith was wrapped up in things like: money and material things, fame, power, control, narcissism, deceit, sex, abuse, and all other things that Satan uses to manipulate sincere people of faith in the hopes to get us to turn away from all things spiritual. The spiritual as well as the unspiritual showed up in my life, I didn’t go running after them. People, who were sincere about their faith whether I agreed or not, were singing God’s praises to me and I listened, asked questions and observed. Yet the time would come where I would be the one who would have to reprove, rebuke and exhort like what had been done to me. There were times when I spoke to those who offended me without making a scene. I was gentle, exhorting not punishing, explaining what God placed on my heart to share. But other times, I reproved those who were leaders as well as fellow believers and exposed, convicted and convinced them of some serious errors especially in mainstream media and with fraternal associations. Then with my own children and other relatives I rebuked showing the wrongdoing as well as the consequences. This kind of righteous verbal confrontation shows up in many of my God-inspired audios and writings. I try my best to convey love and respect when God uses me to confront someone, but I realize no matter how you say something or what you look like when you say it, people will be offended. Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Look to yourself, lest you too, be tempted Galatians 6:1 (KJV).

Friendly wolves play with the Christians’ emotions. These wicked people know a bit about manipulating believers for personal gain and they often get away with their behavior too, because some gullible individuals don’t believe it is necessary to confront them. Matthew 18:15 says, If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his faults, between you and him alone.

Children of darkness take Christians’ kindness for weakness. They assume that a warm smile, friendly comment, or simple gesture means something other than what it means and as indicated earlier (for some weak-minded believers) they know exactly what they are doing with all their veiled flirting and so those who are unspiritual witnessing such behavior don’t mind supporting it. For example, the sinful man in church looks afar at the sad woman who appears to be looking at him when that may not be the case. His backsliding friends might encourage him to go over and talk to the woman not to act as a counselor but for future sinful pleasure.

The sinful man reasons that maybe she is interested in him and pursues her so that his selfish needs might be met. His plan is to rescue the poor damsel in distress, playing Jesus in her life. Now let’s say that a man or woman of God sees such things and confronts the man about his lustful intentions and he refuses to listen, Matthew 18:16 says, But if he doesn’t listen , take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. In the following verse, If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he is still ignoring counsel, And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector (Matthew 18:17). This is why some believers will eventually distance themselves away from spiritual and unspiritual people because they know they are stubborn, refusing to repent from their evil ways. People who want to do right in their lives will not allow the unrighteous to muddy their waters.

Too often people attend church not to follow Jesus, but to take on positions that haven’t yet been assigned to them. It is a power play to see who they can attach themselves to and then use the hurting individuals to meet their needs. God’s word gets befuddled, salvation is put on the back-burner, and the ungodly ones place their selves over the spiritually broken people’s lives.

A seemingly meaningless conversation I would have with more than a few of these deceivers sometimes took an unexpected turn. The Holy Ghost was moving and the demons within and around these manipulators would be alerted--She is one of them...a true believer. She takes God seriously, uh oh. She’s trouble. It would be in that moment that those deceivers stopped smiling so brightly and acting so friendly. I would observe how they gradually emotionally and physically withdrew from me. One told me quite boldly, You speak too much truth…You are too spiritual. I guess he rather hear someone share lies.

Demons know who children of light are. They know that God is in control; therefore, their plans to kill the messenger verbally, spiritually and physically start to occur. Are you sure you are called to be a…Would God really tell you that? I don’t believe we serve the same God.

Deceptive men and women don’t want to see the evidence of sin or hear from the Holy Spirit about it no matter how much a leader yells, Come Holy Spirit. I need to hear from you. Then when he shows up and moves like a great wind upon the congregation, some leaders want to put him in a box. Okay, that’s enough now. We got to get out of here. Calm down people.

If I said, God is doing…God told me…or God wanted me to tell you…, I was met with strange mannerisms and negative attitudes from the wayward in the faith. It was understandable at times because there are charlatans who do roam the earth and the bible cautions us about them. I listened to their deep sighs, sometimes raised critical voices, and watched their eyes roll or look everywhere but at me while a phony grin turned into a frown. Talk too long and teeth appeared like that of a mad dog. One so-called believer said, I don’t bother God, and he don’t bother me. Now how is that a relationship?

The moment I made my announcement to follow Jesus back in 1997 (then later rededicated my life after a couple of miserable relationships), the interference of the demonic paranormal was at work touching those around me who were spiritually weak, unsaved and backsliders in my social circle to break me down whether psychically, behind my back or to my face. God’s enemies were also my foes. Little did I know that I would spend a future of fighting spiritual battles (with the Creator’s guidance, of course) with people I least suspected.

Soon to follow would be cynical questions, harsh criticisms, lies, and unhelpful statements. Just as Jesus was questioned by his enemies (see the books of John and Luke), I being his child would experience similar confrontations. Jesus didn't tell you that…God wouldn't have you do that. You are not a Christian…Now explain to me why you did what you did again? You really think God put you up to that? my foes wanted explanations, information to use against me, and other things that had little to do with God and everything to do with them.

The accusations they made, which I knew were influenced by Satan, hurt much. The mean words were from those I thought loved me. Their harsh statements were not meant to support me on anything related to God’s will, but to discourage my wanting to do more with my life which was to become a better person. But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6, ESV).

Satan was using some backsliding relatives, unbelieving acquaintances and former friends to put pressure on me to renounce my faith in God and go back to walking on the dark side. Some said things like, You don't want to be like (Christians). You know how they are in the church--that's why I don't go. You can talk to me about things without mentioning God or Jesus. By dissuading me not to follow the Father, they would not have to feel convicted around me to change their dark ways of thinking and their lifestyles too.

When I was in love with the world, I recalled that the sincere Christ followers were not the kind of people you could sit comfortably around while justifying personal sins. They would call you out on your foolishness, but no so with the wayward. They were very supportive when it came to sinning, because they knew what they had done and were still doing. The popular response to sin from them was, I’m not going to judge you. But I knew that teaching or warning people not to fall in a trap was definitely not judging them. I learned early on that the hypocrites liked words such as: wise, righteous, God, and Jesus, but they weren’t much interested in following him or his precepts.

After turning my life over to the Savior, critics would mouth you call yourself a Christian when I spoke truth about something they preferred to believe lies about. It didn’t matter what the news or the kind of truth or how I delivered it, if it was good, righteous and convicting, many backsliders and believers found fault with it or blatantly didn’t want to hear it.

Due to my faith and past disputes, I noticed during the early days of my walk, that I no longer had access to some people’s ears or their environments. There was no reaching a compromise with people who were passionate about their unbelief in an unseen force or other names they referred to God as like it, ghost, thing, voice, something said, man upstairs or god (but not the Almighty--some other god). Our relationships were forever changed when I said, Yes to Jesus and No more to Satan.

Frustrated faces that were deeply offended by me and my God just didn't want me talking about Him or His truth. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it (Titus 1:9, ESV). From revelations regarding deceptive worldly news to manipulative behaviors of others, I with a journalism and communications background was not well-received.

Some people rejected the truth about the existence of Satan's minions (primarily beloved entertainers, leaders, family members, civic connections, etc.) in all sorts of industries. In addition, they didn’t want to think about how they were in error and their self-righteous concepts were simply not beneficial to the masses. Satan’s minions were enablers, backsliders, liars, cheating spouses, argumentative, mentally ill, and so-called believers in Christ. They were (and some still are) a defensive, arrogant, and profane, unbelieving bunch.

Like with so many zealous, new believers, during the early days of receiving Christ into my heart, I couldn't help but want to talk about the Bible, God, and other spiritual signs, wonders and miracles. Although I am not as zealous as the new babe in Christ I once was, as a mature believer, I still very much talk about righteousness, sin, God and other related things both on and off the Internet. I do not consider myself religious, but spiritual and I am not in agreement or supportive of lukewarm churches either. I prefer to meet with veteran believers who are out in the field doing what they are called to do while actively working outside of boxes. We were never meant to stay in the church for the rest of our lives! There are lost, confused, and desperate people who you won’t find going to any churches, so we as believers meet the people where they are! My love for Jesus and the hurting and wounded has not changed!

The Holy One who made the trees, stars, and water and permits the sun to rise and set upon us undeserving individuals is worth talking about. How could we not speak about our Heavenly Father and His truth? Yet some call themselves, Christian, Believer, Christ Follower, Pastor, Minister, Prophet, and Child of God, but I can't tell sometimes what or who are they are serving. I have to pray often about discerning people.

Conviction, one's personal beliefs within, God will challenge every now and then. The test can be a blessing or a curse depending on who you talk to and how sincere one might be about his or her faith. Negative emotions begin to awaken inside an individual who may have been in a seemingly good mood, but at the instance his or her misdeeds are called into question, the rebellious one is going to say to the messenger of God, Don’t start on me…What about you? There you go making trouble…just leave me alone! You might think, Here we go again, another dispute is fast approaching, better stand down. But truth always wins in the end whether it is said humorously, loudly, peacefully, or wildly.

There are those who work for the devil whether knowingly or unknowingly who are prepared for verbal and physical wars with all kinds of people from children to senior citizens. In fact some who accuse others of loving to fight are the fighters. They don’t want to deal with their wrongs and they don’t want others calling them out on them either. The lost, miserable and wayward are set on damaging truthful speakers whether mentally or physically. They threaten, accuse, blame, deny, and lie just so that they don’t hear what it is that God may be using you to say to them. A grievance you might have becomes all out war. Some people do this in the hopes that you will never approach them again with anything, but Jesus provides us with the endurance to keep fighting until he calls a truce. It is up to us to allow the Lord to lead and use us to fulfill His will (not ours)—be ready to stand, fight, walk away, or lie down and die at anytime during this walk. Jesus went through much and so will we.

You can’t talk about the light, the goodness of God, without it eventually showing up and shining on all of those children of darkness who might listen. Stubborn believers, aggravated atheists, and bumbling fools want you to go away. No casting light on anything they like or love no matter how ugly, twisted or demented. If you aren’t talking about products and services that can benefit them, placing money in their pockets, or what you might do for them in the future, then they bid you farewell with their negative body language.

Difficult foes come in many different forms. There are numerous adjectives in this work that not only describe the kind of people they are, along with their character traits, but also I provide you with some tips on dealing with them in upcoming chapters. You will need to be in prayer about your specific situation in order to get more sound wisdom from the Holy One.

A ball of emotions grew inside of me with each confrontation with the saved and unsaved I faced. They claimed to know Jesus but didn’t unashamedly acknowledge him or act on most of his precepts. Jesus was contained in a box somewhere in their minds and he wasn’t permitted to come out unless the atmosphere was decorated up with visual displays of traditions, rituals, programs, artwork, and more along with music, food, and actors that cried, Lord, Lord! Further, the godless wanted nothing to do with my God or me and didn’t hesitate to tell me so whether subtly or boldly.

Now About that Foe…

People, who simply don’t want to hear anything about spiritual things or your testimonies, are usually more concerned about worldly matters—the things that have nothing to do with the will of the one true God such as fulfilling their fleshly desires of money, power, sex, fame, and more. We have all been guilty of this sort of thing. But the difference between a child of God and a child of Satan is that one in the light wants out of darkness and one who remains on the side of evil is content being in his or her mess.

When conversing with the worldly minded, I would sometimes do the following: take God/Jesus/Holy Spirit out of my speech, suppress certain spiritual phrases just to appease the listener, use worldly sounding statements to fit in, and select specific descriptions in my story-telling that didn’t sound so spiritual in the hopes that the listener would at least understand what I was communicating without taking offense. I understand that once in a while you have to do such things to speak to the masses, but other times we deliberately downplay what we do because we don't want to face anymore backlash despite the Holy Ghost instructing us to say or do something. We grieve Him when we are disobedient; therefore, we experience the consequences of our actions or inactions.

During the days of new Christian growing pains (1997-2003), I just couldn’t seem to communicate God's message of good news effectively enough and other times I didn't want to, but God reminded me of the Parable of the Sower in Luke 8. Not everyone would receive the word of the Lord because of the following: satanic influences (much of which comes from television watching and Internet surfing nowadays), unresolved issues, bad upbringing, ungodly personal habits, sexual distractions, and more.

It wasn’t until much trial and error, when talking to people about spiritual things, that I realized I couldn’t do anything in my own strength. I had to step aside in my mind, body and spirit and let God just be God! I needed to be open to listening to him first (a willing vessel), before I spoke. I still practice this to date and I don't always get it right since I'm still and will always be a work in progress.

Over time, I came to realize that the main reason why God was using me in the first place was because those wayward believers I was speaking to had similar issues that I had once dealt with from domestic violence to bouts with drinking. They ran away from issues in the hopes of washing away their past. What better people to speak to--the backsliding, wayward, lost, soon-to-be apostates and reprobates rather then those who had been there and done that already and had been changed, I thought. And so, God confirmed in his word through Jesus’ ministry.

The more I tried to be like one of them in my own strength (you know the old creature in order to connect) the more I grew tired of talking and walking spiritually. God wasn't going to allow me to continue to just get by, but it was an experience in my life that showed me the difference between doing things my own way without God and doing things with Him. The Great I AM was doing something new in me, so I told myself. I might as well just go along for the ride. So I dropped my guard and what I learned from men and women about public speaking and just talked plain truth beginning in 2004. I started sharing sometimes about the things of God, but then went into hiding for awhile because negative life experiences were getting me down--I started the process, with God’s help, to break the strongholds that some unspiritual people had in my life. I didn't share God's word without holding back until around 2008 via audio and then in 2009 in print. That’s when Know Your Enemy: The Christian’s Critic was birthed.

I felt God's Holy Ghost was leading me to remind his called and chosen about how much He loves them and how much he wants them to come on back home free of oppression, mental and physical captivity and spiritual blindness. They would need support on their journey. The kind of understanding that wasn’t always there in church homes for new believers. I still believe this is my calling presently. Like my former self, the lost was always looking for ways to do things in their own strength while keeping God away from the driver seats of their lives. You hear and see some evidence of this on my YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 and Face Your Foe blog (faceyourfoe.blogspot.com).

I wrote this book as a continuation of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic because I wanted to give readers more insight on how to confront enemies after having gathered evidence that they are indeed enemies.

I write from personal experience, observation and research on matters dealing with confrontation from a spiritual perspective with specific personality types as you will later read and give you scripture references to help you further your study. Too often we discover negative things about people, places and things close to us, but don’t do much about what we know until it’s too late.

Far too many people, rather sweep things under the rug, let by-gones be by-gones until the problems re-surface again—now what? God doesn’t want us to compromise our faith while fighting an enemy, and he definitely doesn’t want us dying prematurely as a result of words said or unsaid, actions or inactions outside of his will. Consider what Jesus had gone through dealing with foes, …the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words (Matt 22:15).

Issues with Foes

There may have been times in your life when you acted like Jesus when in confrontations and then other times you acted like a fool. I raise my hand up on that one. For some of you, someone or a group told you about your ugly self. Your anger may have been considered righteous or for good reason, yet bystanders watching you explode didn't come to that conclusion. You might have gone to the temple, like Jesus did one day, and turned over some money tables or gathered a group of individuals together and presented someone’s personal business in plain view. However, was your anger really justified and righteous? Did you believe that shaming or insulting a person was really a good thing?

You might have also took someone by the hand and told him or her to Come follow me… while pushing others outdoors. You could have walked like the disciples and boldly proclaimed the good news despite opposition, or walked away from verbal and physical battles and denied your faith. You may have presented yourself a believer, who is active in performing God’s will, but your foe watched and didn’t like you for it. So now he or she is searching for every fault in you imaginable just like a Pharisee standing off in the distance who watched Jesus intently—hoping he would mess up. When under this kind of pressure at home, work or elsewhere, you will definitely need to keep reading this book while you go through your personal challenges dealing with foes.

The fault-finder is going to show up in your life sooner or later as you will read in Chapter 11, usually while things are going good. Your foe will be ready to argue about why you said what you said or did what you did; will you be ready for that trial? The foe is going to recruit others to set a trap for you simply by questioning you on things like the following: your faith, church choice, career moves, parenting skills, relationship choices, business endeavors, and other things. How might you respond? Spiritual opposition is designed to hurt you but you can be like the alchemist and turn the attack into something most beneficial to you. But if you can’t see beyond the trial, you just might find yourself wandering on a dead end street. In other words, there is no way out of the drama and rather than progress toward your higher calling, you merely regress.

Like a little child who wants to go outside and have a good time, some of your loved ones or friends will look at you like a weakling that needs to stay indoors, you feel isolated. Don’t allow foes to get the upper-hand--you are a grown adult, not a child! While you might think one's concern is in your best interest, the enemy comes along to set you up to fail. He puts your light under a bushel so that you are not seen or heard