Dani's Shorts 3

By Dani J Caile

Wow, it's already Volume 3 of TIW shorts! The third collection of totally pointless exactly 500 Challenge and exactly 200 Weekend Quickie word nonsense (plus a few collaborations and extra TIW things) to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading. For myself, it was a long and exciting half year in The Iron Writer. It has become a part of my life now, this TIW phenomenon, every week waiting for the next group of elements to hit the site and dwelling on the story which could link them all together in the style of my choice. It's thanks to this challenge that I can say I never suffer from writer's block - touch wood.
In this third volume, I have also included some collaborations and TIW ‘experiments’, such as the Genre Mash Up from Miranda Hawley and impromptu relays which mainly involve a new and highly talented young TIW writer, Mathew W. Weaver , complete in a suit of armour – he is the Iron Writer Protection Program, his identity is a secret. Other writers include Neal Sayatovich, Jordan Bel , and Tony Jaeger. I'd like to thank these writers for writing their words and allowing me to publish them.
In mentioning, I also cut the 10 worder 4 element challenge story "He tutted as she stood there in a mini skirt." (Challenge 45) down to a 'zhong', a form made famous by Ernest Hemingway, "He tutted as she smiled, naked."
To finish, in Volume 2, I separated the Weekly Challenges from the Weekend Quickies though now I see that some continuity of ideas was lost and so everything in Volume 3 is in chronological order to show the development...if there was one.
I hope you enjoy these short snippets just as much as I enjoyed writing them, and thanks again to Brian and all the other Iron Writers for allowing me into their community...I wouldn’t.

If you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...

The Iron Writer dot com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dani J Caile
• Release date: Aug 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310966132

Dani J Caile

I've been writing for years, but now I've found my voice and style. I hope you like it as much as everyone else who has read it. :-)

Book preview

Dani's Shorts 3

(A collection of short stories based on the elements from The Iron Writer Challenge)

Volume 3

by

Dani J Caile

Smashwords Edition

PUBLISHED BY:

Dani J Caile on Smashwords

ISBN: 9781310966132

Dani's Shorts 3

Copyright © 2014 by Dani J Caile

Smashwords License Statement

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Blog

http://danijcaile.blogspot.hu/

All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © Dani J Caile 2014

Table of Contents

Preface / Acknowledgement

First Annual 2014 Iron Blog Tour - Waiting for the Equinox

53 - The Fickle Generation

Duel 1 (Grudge 4) - Dora and the Invasion of the Flying Vampires

Dr. Seuss' Birthday Challenge - One Moose

Dr Suess' Birthday Challenge 2 - Oh, the wonderful things Mr. Orbán can do!

Weekend Quickie 24 - Second Thoughts

54 - BBC Surreal Satire at its worst

Weekend Quickie 25 - Mardi Gras balls

55 (Grudge 5) - Pimp my ride, Sonny!

Weekend Quickie 26 - The unexpected

56 - Hindsight

Flash in the Pan - Cerreda Medellin Blues - Jack Kerouac

Flash in the Pan – Palindrome (I madam, I made radio! So I dared! Am I mad, am I?)

Weekend Quickie 27 - Mike's Omission

57 - Dennis is a bad boy

Flash in the Pan - tiny story based on 2 Shakespearean insults: Ye Eater of Broken Meats! and Have fun, you embossed carbuncles!

Daily Flash

Flash in the Pan - Describe a colour without using a colour word

Weekend Quickie 28 - Big Chief 'He ya ho'

58 (TIW Spring Open) – Lost

Weekend Quickie 29 - Quickie in a Quickie

59 - Slaughter

Weekend Quickie 30 - Carlos is dead

60 - (TIW Spring Open Final) - That 'punk' camera

Weekend Quickie 31 - Tracer

61 - No one's perfect

Weekend Quickie 32 - Each to their own

62 - Draughts on a Sunday afternoon with ol' Captain Joe Blues Eyes

Brian's Birthday Challenge - Jello!

Weekend Quickie 33 - Return to Oz

63 - Creep

The Goatee of Neal (Impromu Relay)

Weekend Quickie 34 - Just to see my face

64 (Annual Final) - Two my few chair auld err shelf

The Rotation (Impromtu relay)

Genre Mash Up Test 1

Weekend Quickie 35 - Little Red Shiny Jordan

65 - Oh, Elva!

Weekend Quickie 36 - Second base

66 (Grudge 6) - The Universe doesn't Care what You are

Genre Mash Up Test 2

Weekend Quickie 37 - When friends are your greatest enemies

67 - Whoops, there goes the neighbourhood

Weekend Quickie 38 - Oh, Nana!

68 - The Hole in the Wall

The Cat and the Monkey (Impromtu relay)

Weekend Quickie 39 - Let's make some money

69 - To Clip

Weekend Quickie 40 - No time

70 - For Better For Worse

Weekend Quickie 41 - Embarrassing

71 - (Summer Prelim) - Death of another Salesman

Weekend Quickie 42 - Misunderstood

72 - Team Building

Weekend Quickie 43 - Jump!

73 - (Summer Open Final) The Sun Rises In

The Iron Writer Party Line (Impromtu relay)

Weekend Quickie 44 - Joyce

74 - The Spirit of Aragorn

Weekend Quickie 45 - Oh, the thrill

75 - (Grudge 7) The whole world's a stage!

Weekend Quickie 46 - 5 Years later

76 - (Grudge 8) – Generation Gap

Weekend Quickie 47 - Protection

77 – Ted’s Lucky Cap

Weekend Quickie 48 - The Fawn of Sertorius

78 – Twigs

Weekend Quickie 49 - Intriguing

List of elements

Other work by Dani J Caile

Preface / Acknowledgement

Wow, it's already Volume 3 of TIW shorts! The third collection of totally pointless exactly 500 Challenge and exactly 200 Weekend Quickie word nonsense (plus a few collaborations and extra TIW things) to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading. For myself, it was a long and exciting half year in The Iron Writer. It has become a part of my life now, this TIW phenomenon, every week waiting for the next group of elements to hit the site and dwelling on the story which could link them all together in the style of my choice. It's thanks to this challenge that I can say I never suffer from writer's block - touch wood.

In this third volume, I have also included some collaborations and TIW ‘experiments’, such as the Genre Mash Up from Miranda Hawley and impromptu relays which mainly involve a new and highly talented young TIW writer, Mathew W. Weaver (http://ramblingsandraving.blogspot.hu/), complete in a suit of armour – he is the Iron Writer Protection Program, his identity is a secret. Other writers include Neal Sayatovich (https://www.facebook.com/neal.sayatovich), Jordan Bell (http://jbfiction.blogspot.hu/), and Tony Jaeger (http://www.creativewritingtime.weebly.com/). I'd like to thank these writers for writing their words and allowing me to publish them.

In mentioning, I also cut the 10 worder 4 element challenge story He tutted as she stood there in a mini skirt. (Challenge 45) down to a 'zhong', a form made famous by Ernest Hemingway, He tutted as she smiled, naked.

To finish, in Volume 2, I separated the Weekly Challenges from the Weekend Quickies though now I see that some continuity of ideas was lost and so everything in Volume 3 is in chronological order to show the development…if there was one.

I hope you enjoy these short snippets just as much as I enjoyed writing them, and thanks again to Brian and all the other Iron Writers for allowing me into their community…I wouldn’t.

If you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...

http://theironwriter.com/

First Annual 2014 Iron Blog Tour - Waiting for the Equinox

(iron, quill, birthday cake, 1 element from 1st challenge (changed to using 1 element from all 52 named challenges in order, except for Challenge 51 element 'no 'be' verbs' which is used throughout)

Meteors outside. Tom lay his ruby red slippers over the failed superhero in the elevator and sat down on his favourite coconut opposite the family's 1880 vampire hunting kit.

Wonderful, dear. His space monkey, Suzie, did her usual chore of cutting quills with her ginsu knives for the pregnant camel next door. They shared a smile and watched the gyroscope in the corner.

What's on the water buffalo tonight, dear?

Same old, same old. Black lipstick, I think, replied Suzie, now jumping on her trampoline. The dead gypsy rested on his theremin, silent.

Anything special for dinner? Tom hung on the clothes line and took a bag of almonds from his own personal group of reference librarians he kept in a casket. Satisfied that the flashing neon lights on the ceiling had stopped due to the malfunctioning pole mounted electric transformer, he waved his semaphore flags and watched his pet trilobite crawl across the floor.

Just the usual, dear. Birthday cake. Suzie paused in her jumping and tore the hand held lawn clippers from her thigh, replacing them with chopsticks. Tom banged on his 1951 Kaiser Drag'n and yodelled like Slim Whitman.

Again? Why can't we have something else for a change! Like fried green tomatoes or banana slippers! Why do we always eat birthday cake?

Suzie whipped her husband with a feather boa, knowing he'd love it.

Did you have a bad day? Another fight with the live Griffin, dear? Would you like a cup of tea?

Oh, yes. Thank you, darling.

Suzie disappeared into their abandoned outhouse to make tea and look for the jar of bacon fat Tom so often admired. A particularly interesting dressed herring appeared on the buffalo's hind and caught Tom's attention.

Suzie, quick! You've gotta see this!

She came running in wearing a pair of fishnet stockings and a wooden hanger stuck on the back of her neck. They both lost interest as the Bionic Woman sailed by in a