Dani's Shorts 4

By Dani J Caile

It’s Volume 4 of TIW shorts! The fourth collection and possibly the last of totally pointless exactly 500 Challenge and exactly 200 Weekend Quickie flash fiction stories/scenes word nonsense (plus a few specials, relays, newsflashes from the TIW blog and collaborations) to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading. For myself, it was a long and tricky half year in The Iron Writer. Through troubles and difficulties, there was always the TIW Challenge waiting for me.
I hope you enjoy these short snippets just as much as I enjoyed writing them, and thanks again to Brian and all the other Iron Writers for allowing me into their community...I wouldn’t.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dani J Caile
• Release date: Mar 20, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311528049

Dani J Caile

I've been writing for years, but now I've found my voice and style. I hope you like it as much as everyone else who has read it. :-)

Book preview

Dani's Shorts 4

(A collection of short stories based on the elements from The Iron Writer Challenge)

Volume 4

by

Dani J Caile

Dani's Shorts 4

by

Dani J Caile

Smashwords Edition

PUBLISHED BY: Dani J Caile on Smashwords

ISBN: 9781311528049

Dani's Shorts 4

Copyright © 2015 by Dani J Caile

Smashwords License Statement

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Blogs & Websites

http://danijcaile.blogspot.hu/

All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © Dani J Caile 2015

Table of Contents

Preface / Acknowledgement

79 – A danger to himself

Weekend Quickie 50 – No stink in this suit

80 - A Pox on your lips later (Apolcalypse Now)

Weekend Quickie 51 – Not even for the world

NEWSFLASH: Iron Writers in a Bristle

81 (Grudge 10) – A Bear in the Woods

Weekend Quickie 52 – Out on the town

Weekend Quickie 1st Anniversary - Surprise!

82 - The Brother

NEWSFLASH: Demise of the Deadly Duo?

Weekend Quickie 53 – To the's guy…(59 words)

The Mirror

83 - Karma

Weekend Quickie 54 – A nice meat soup (91 words)

Weekend Quickie 55 Sunday Edition – True story...ish (293 words)

NEWFLASH: Where is Maureen?

Grudge 11 - The Purple Result (1st attempt - unpublished)

Grudge 11 - Down on the farm (2nd attempt - published)

Weekend Quickie 56 – The homemade wasp repellent of Richard

Weekend Quickie 57 (Sunday Edition) - A little prick (69 words…fnaw, fnaw!)

84 - Autumn Preliminary Round (Agatha Christie bracket) – Inside the Womb Episode 15

Weekend Quickie 58 - Star Flaws

The Duel of Procrastination

Weekend Quickie 59 - Larry Hotter

Weekend Quickie 60 (Sunday Edition) – Friends, voters, truck drivers

85 - Autumn Open Final – Gone to a Better Place

Books By The Banks Workshop

Weekend Quickie 61 – The Terror that is Bieber

86 - (Mathew W Weaver Challenge) - Motion in the Potion

Weekend Quickie 62 (Monday Edition) - Fun to be a Selleck

NEWSFLASH: Fancy a Quickie?

Grudge 12 – As stated under Regulation 16

Weekend Quickie 63 – Don't mess up the suit

Weekend Quickie 64 (Sunday Edition) - American's in Europe

87 - (Pitman/Caile Challenge) - Beans

NEWSFLASH: Attack of the Chinese Chickens

Weekend Quickie 65 – Loathsome Customer

Weekend Quickie 66 (Sunday Edition) - Reds Together

88 - (Richard Russell Challenge) - Experimental Anality

Weekend Quickie 67 – A Love Story

Weekend Quickie 68 (Sunday Edition) - Nowhere

89 - (DL Mackenzie Challenge) - Vengeance

Weekend Quickie 69 - 8

Weekend Quickie 70 (Monday Edition) - Busy Hands

90 - Confirmed

Grudge 13 - A Right Piece of Work

91 (Steven L Bergeron Challenge) - The Master and the Master

Weekend Quickie 71 – Hidden Within*

Weekend Quickie 72 (Sunday Edition) - Ballet shoes*

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 1 - Reasby Fen

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 2 - Reasby Fen

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 3 - Reasby Fen

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 4 - Reasby Fen

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 5 - Reasby Fen

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 6 - Reasby Fen

Thanksgiving- The All Week Story– Part 7 - Reasby Fen

92 - Howard's End

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 1 – A Christmas Story.

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 2 – It’s a Wonderful Life!

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 3 - Love Always

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 4 – The Muppets Christmas Carol

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 5 – The Grinch that stole Christmas!

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 6 - ELF!

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 7 – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer!

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 8 - Bad Santa

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 9 – White Christmas!

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 10 - National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 11 - Home Alone

Twelve Days of Christmas Iron Writer Style Day 12 - The Nightmare before Christmas.

93 - Pleasure before business

Weekend Quickie 75 - Bend over

94 - Fett & Nord

Weekend Quickie 76 – Dear Santa

Weekend Quickie 77 (Sunday Edition) – Excuse my French

The Christmas Quickie 78 – Christmas Time

95 - Hoggin' it

96 (Winter Prelims) - Guardians of…on Second Thoughts…

Weekend Quickie 79 – You can have the Mum

Weekend Quickie 80 (Sunday edition) – New Year’s Resolutions

97 - Winter Solstice Open –Not so Neighborly

Weekend Quickie 79 (81) - Egos

Weekend Quickie (Sunday Edition) 80 (82) – Catnipped Puss

98 - Poison

Weekend Quickie 81 (83) – Not lovers Quarrel

99 - Sucks

Weekend Quickie #81 (84) - Spurs

Weekend Quickie Sunday Edition 82 (85) – Let it Go

100 - Carry on up the Flagpole

Weekend Quickie 82 (86) – Snow Day

Weekend Quickie Sunday Edition 83 (87) - Allergic

101 - Brothers

Weekend Quickie #84 (88) – Perspective

Weekend Quickie #85 (89) Sunday Edition – Love is like the wind

102 – How much is enough?

Weekend Quickie 86 (90) – Sweet tooth

Weekend Quickie 87 (91) Sunday Edition – Them Brownies

Escribe de'Trois Challenge – Up in the Trees

The Weekday Quickie #1 – Lunar New Year – The name’s Dieter

103 – Retribution

Weekend Quickie 88 (92) – Terrible

Weekend Quickie 89 (93) Sunday Edition - Chuck

104 – Word Blind

The Weekday Quickie #2 – Hail to the Chief!

Weekend Quickie 94 – TV License

The Weekday Quickie #3 - Nagyi

Weekend Quickie 95 (Sunday Edition) – Friends

Weekend Quickie 96 – Red haired Potter

105 - The Battle for Snagglyprinch

List of elements for Challenges 79-105 (including Grudge Matches and Opens) and Weekend and Weekday Quickies 50-96

Other work by Dani J Caile

Preface / Acknowledgement

It’s Volume 4 of TIW shorts! The fourth collection and possibly the last of totally pointless exactly 500 Challenge and exactly 200 Weekend Quickie flash fiction stories/scenes word nonsense (plus a few specials, relays, newsflashes from the TIW blog and collaborations) to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading. For myself, it was a long and tricky half year in The Iron Writer. Through troubles and difficulties, there was always the TIW Challenge waiting for me.

In this third volume, I have included some impromptu relays mainly involving Mathew W. Weaver (http://ramblingsandraving.blogspot.hu), still complete in a suit of armour, and Christopher A Liccardi (http://www.caliccardi.com) with Jordan Bell (http://jbfiction.blogspot.hu/). I have also included some Grudge collaborations, the first with Jordan and the second with Mathew. There are also a few Newsflashes from the TIW blog written by Scallywag and a Grudge by Spanky Strawberry Slokovich, and I have included two stories based on Michael D. Pitman’s (http://www.daytondailynews.com/staff/michael-d-pitman/) ’Books By The Banks Workshop’.

In Volume 2, I separated the Weekly Challenges from the Weekend Quickies though in Volume 4 as in Volume 3, I have put them in chronological order to show the development…if there ever is one. Just warning you...

I hope you enjoy these short snippets just as much as I enjoyed writing them, and thanks again to Brian and all the other Iron Writers for allowing me into their community…I wouldn’t.

If you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...

http://theironwriter.com/

79 – A danger to himself

(Genetically Enhanced Garden Gnomes, Camelot, Halitosis, Stratego)

Hey, John! Come on over! I've done it, I've finished it!

Finished what, Dave? I had a few minutes before having to pick up the kids from school. Meeting Dave was a chore more than a pleasure, but chores must be done.

My Camelot, see! Dave gestured over to his new rock garden feature, his very own minature Camelot. He opened the gate and I went to inspect his latest creation.

Wow, Dave, you've really...err...surpassed yourself this time. Although he was rolling in it due to the inheritence from the death of his rich parents, he didn't have many friends, and with that killer halitosis of his, he didn't have a girlfriend either, and as he didn't need to work, he had a lot of time on his hands. So, he built things. When he was a kid, he made models. Now he did...larger projects like this one. It was all there, the castle with a thousand turrets, the drawbridge, the moat and there was a latch on the side where you could open it up and see what was inside, a round table, of course, with 12 inch knights sitting around it. Dave was good at modelling buildings but people...the Knights of the Round table looked more like genetically enhanced garden gnomes.

They're a bit squat and muscley, Dave.

Yeah, a bit.

Where's King Arthur?

There.

Where?

Next to Guinevere.

What, that white thing? An off-white lump 'sat' at the round table.

That's Guienevere.

Oh. So that's King Arthur?

Yep.

There was another lump of brown plaster with a crown on top and a large grey sword sticking out of it."

I admit, he's not my best work. It was raining on that day.

Mmm. I closed the latch and looked at the castle. Nice building, Dave.

Yeah, it's cool.

So what did you do with that lovely little windmill of yours? Dave's six foot windmill was infamous in the village. When the wind blew, the whole structure rocked on its foundations and the noise of the blades could be heard into the next valley. And when we had that nasty storm a few months back, the blades broke off and spun off down the street, smashing into Mrs. Snide's at No.6.

Ah, I took it down, it was an eyesore.

You don't say.

I do, I do. You see that area over there?

Yeah?

Well, you know those large outside chess sets you can find, with the huge board and heavy wooden pieces?

You're not gonna build one of those, are ya, Dave?

Nah, I never got the hang of chess. No, I'm gonna build a Stratego boardgame with all its pieces.

Wow, that's a tall order, Dave. Good luck with that one.

Yeah, I've started on a template for the pieces but it hasn't come out quite right... He picked up a log of wood I thought was for the stove in the kitchen.

Dave? Ever thought of taking up an extreme sport?

Weekend Quickie 50 – No stink in this suit

(image – desert with cacti and full moon, element – a falling star, emotion – Ablutophobia)

Think it's about time you bathed. Mathew could smell his companion from two hundred yards away.

Hey! I'm not stinky, protested Jordan. A few weeks together in the desert seemed such a good idea.

Your beard reeks and what hair you do have is so greasy we could fry some sausages.

I'm not having a bath. Jordan rubbed his beard and smelt his hand.

Why not?

There's a full moon.

And a falling star. Mathew pointed to the night sky.

Really? Then I'm definitely not having a bath. Jordan made some distance between himself and Mathew, downwind.

What have you got, Ablutophobia?

A Plutophobia? Is that a fear of Pluto?

No, a fear of bathing.

No, I do not.

Oh look, I have some water in this flask...

Keep it away from me!

Ah-ha, Ablutophobia.

You say it like I'm sick or something. Jordan adjusted his sunglasses.

You are sick.

At least I'm not the one with Kaktosophobia. His cap began to slip off his head.