Improper Improvisations 2

By Aussiescribbler

Sweet, saucy tales to tickle more than just your funny bone. Meet : Hester the nude life-saver; Lara, who has a therapeutic need to orally pleasure men; Henrietta the lesbian would-be Houdini; and Wild West whore Kitty Sweet whose customers include Liberty Valance and Jesse James. Join the food fun with two celebrity chefs. And dip into the Horny Planet Guide to Global Bonking. All this and more.

An interesting phenomena of the on-line erotica writing community has been the writing challenge in which one blogger provides a prompt word on a particular day each week and others produce a piece of writing in response.

These eight short stories and one poem were improvised in response to such prompt words. A simple everyday word went into Aussiescribbler's brain and out came a raunchy romp filled with playful sex, plentiful puns and often pointed parody.

Includes :

Bare-Assed Baywatch
Lara and the Real World
A Close Shave
Henrietta Gets Hen-Pecked
Horny Planet Guide to Global Bonking
The Girl Who [Had Sexual Relations With] Liberty Valance
The Pubic Record
The Spy Who Came
Celebrity Taste Buddies

• Language: English
• Publisher: Aussiescribbler
• Release date: Sep 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301396344

Aussiescribbler

Sex is a wonderful thing, but I find it hard to take it seriously. It has the power to make buffoons of us all. But I like to laugh as much as I like to get off so its a win-win situation over all. There is nothing so erotic as a spirit of playfulness, and that is what I express through my erotic stories. If you like puns, parodies, slapstick and one-liners with your saucy stories then you may find something here to tickle more than just your funny bone. I also write about psychology under the name Joe Blow.

Book preview

Improper Improvisations 2

by Aussiescribbler

Smashwords Edition published by Aussiescribbler

Copyright 2013 Aussiescribbler

Cover image from http://www.123rf.com/

Smashwords Edition, License Note: Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

ISBN 9781301396344

Table of Contents

Introduction

Bare-Assed Baywatch (Buoy)

Lara and the Real World (Phase)

A Close Shave (Blade)

Henrietta Gets Hen-Pecked (Magician)

Horny Planet Guide to Global Bonking (Sight)

The Girl Who Fucked Liberty Valance (Border)

The Pubic Record (Tangle)

The Spy Who Came (Recipe)

Celebrity Taste Buddies (Taste)

Introduction

Welcome to the second volume of Improper Improvisations. Just like those in the first volume, these stories (and poem) were improvised as a response to writing challenges. A prompt word was provided by someone else and I wrote the story within about 24 hours of receiving it. While some of the ideas were worked out in advance of the actual writing, the stories themselves were written over a period of one to three hours and largely made up as I went along, each being its own voyage of discovery. The key word is included in brackets after the title of each story.

Bare-Assed Baywatch (Buoy)

She can give me mouth-to-pussy resuscitation any time she wants, purred Sandy as she looked up at the tanned and busty lifeguard who was sitting at the top of a watch tower a few metres behind us wearing nothing but a bright red bathing cap and scanning the sea with a large pair of binoculars.

Damn, did you have to say that, I complained.

We were at the nude beach, sunning ourselves beneath the lazily circling gulls, the sea gently caressing the sand in front of us and the wind softly teasing our pubes.

I'd had to learn a special kind of mental discipline for occasions like this. I'd had to learn to block all thoughts of sex from my mind, lest the sight of swinging boobs and wiggling bums and cute little pussies, some bare as a bald man's head and others as hairy as hamsters, cause my wee willie winky to transform into Bonerman. Sharks aren't the only kind of white pointers that strike panic into the hearts of nude beach patrons.

Looking over at Sandy, pushing back her long blonde hair, and grinning a grin that was the universal sign language for Please fuck me as she pointed down at the yellow cornsilk that surrounded her pink Percy-gobbler, there was no way the levee was not going to break, flooding my mind with images of fucking and sucking, bum-spanking and boob-squeezing, and causing my cock to swell and stiffen like an inflating balloon animal.

Meat missile in the launching position, giggled Sandy when she had finished ogling the lifeguard and turned back to me. She gently placed her finger on the head of my cock and pushed it down. When she let go it sprang back to attention and quivered like a tuning fork.

I'll be in trouble if anyone sees it, I told her. I better get into the water and cool off.

I'll join you, she replied.

As I ran down toward the water, with my cock swinging back and forth stiffly like a conductor's baton, a slim young redhead with firm breasts was rising from the water and coming in to the shore. Droplets of water ran down over her pink nipples, stiff from the cool water, over her firm belly with its cute little button, and ran in a river from the fiery forest of pubes that sprang from between her lithe and lean thighs. One look at me advancing upon her with my generative organ rampant and she screamed and ran off down the beach. I tried to tell her I was sorry as I watched her soft pink bottom jiggle away from me, but the sight was just not helping and what came out of my mouth was not intelligible.

Scaring young women, Sandy scolded as she ran up beside me. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Me!?! I cried. You started it. It was your dirty fantasies about the lifesaver chick which turned Mr. Floppy into Mr. Stiffy.

By now the water was about our waists and the offending appendage was no longer on public display. It wasn't getting any softer though. The invigorating coldness of the water against its heat just made it all the more achingly rigid. Sandy pushed her soft body up against me and began stroking my cock with her right hand.

It's not safe to bring you to the nude beach, she giggled. You're too much of a perve.

"It's just