Dating Vampyres: Guide to a First Date

By J. Hart

Do you want to know some of the vital things that will help you to pull the boy or girl of your dreams?

Have you ever noticed how some people find it easy to get a date? How do they do it? Why do you just clam up and shuffle your feet when 'The Fancied One' gets within a ten metre radius? Do you always seem to get it wrong in the World of Love?

Written for teenagers (and for anyone thinking about dating for the first time), this book will help you to find out the answers to some of these questions. It will teach you how to make yourself more attractive; how to flirt and ask someone out; where to go; what to say and how to behave and not behave on your first date.

And why do you need a book like this? Because you spend years at school or college but never get lessons on how to date, or how to find a relationship that's best for you! And knowing how to find the right person is equally important as finding the right job!

In this book you will learn how to deal with particular behaviours you might come across on a date. You will learn how to deal with pushy vampire behaviour and how to assert yourself properly. You will learn why it is not always a good idea to be too much of an angel and always give in to your date. This book is crammed with essential tips and suggestions to help you feel more confident and in control, so that you can enjoy your first date in the way that you deserve!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jun 27, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483502540

Book preview

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CHAPTER ONE

WHY DO YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK?

There is a very good answer to this question: many (if not most of us) need lessons in dating.

A few months ago I was on an evening out with a group of friends. We’re a mixed lot and all as different as can be. And we got talking about some of the more memorable dates we’d been on and all the romantic disasters we had ever known. There were so many stories.

The dating and romantic disasters were absolutely horrible. Whenever I went on a date and it went wrong I felt it was my fault and the whole thing made me feel such a failure.

When I look back now though, I realise that a lot of the reasons I wasn’t successful at dating was because I was naïve and approached relationships in the wrong way to start with. To be honest I think I was a bit of an angel most of the time. I was so keen to have a relationship that I slipped into a role that wasn’t natural to me. I wasn’t confident enough to be myself. And I didn’t have a clue how to ‘be’ on a first date.

In this book I hope to let you know what key things you can do to make yourself feel more confident and in control on your first dates.

I want to give you some suggestions which I and my friends feel might help you in the first stages of dating. How to meet someone new; how to flirt and talk with someone you like; what to say on a date; the kind of behaviour that is acceptable and unacceptable on a date; some pointers in how to handle your first kiss and other things besides – things which we wish we’d known when we were first beginning to date.

With a little knowledge things might have gone more smoothly for us. I, for one, might have been able to put things into a more positive perspective. I used my lovelife as a measure of my worth and felt that if I were cooler, prettier and more fashionable then I would have had a great boyfriend too.

A few more years down the line, my friends have become much more savvy and confident about dating. Some of us are in settled relationships and can look back in horror at the mistakes we made as teenagers on our first dates. There is no way we would make such mistakes now. We want to pass on some of these experiences to help you, so that you don’t make such mistakes on your dates.

I also hope to show you in this book, how you can become more attractive to the opposite sex and also to everyone in your world.

I agree that if you appear to look more attractive you can have more of a choice of people wanting to go out with you but I have to add that that’s no good if you make the wrong choice. I’ve known plenty of conventionally attractive people, who spoilt for choice, made the wrong choice and lived to regret it. Being good looking and cool does not guarantee success in a relationship.

People often tell you that being a teenager should be the best time of your life! In many ways it probably is but in some ways it can be the worst. Trying to work out who you are and what direction you want your life to go in. There seems to be so many signposts; so many important decisions to make; so many adults trying to tell you how you should be living your life. And, are your friends cool enough? Are you cool enough? And you so want a boyfriend or girlfriend to share things with. The whole thing is a minefield.

Do you know, I was the worst teenager ever and made loads of mistakes – especially loads of romantic mistakes. And I got to thinking a few months ago how much I would have enjoyed being a teenager if I’d known what I know now.

After years of love catastrophes and wrong romantic decisions I have finally got what I always wanted: a good strong relationship; but I only achieved this through learning from the hard lessons of experience. What a lot of heartache; what a lot of time and energy wasted on the wrong guys – or approaching the right guys and the right relationships, in the wrong ways.

Hopefully, if you come across some of these common situations, you might handle them better. And with a bit more awareness you might find the whole dating game much more rewarding and less excruciatingly painful and embarrassing than many of us did, at first.

I mean you go to school and learn all kinds of stuff, so you can pass exams and get a better choice of job? But school doesn’t cover everything you need to know about the world. And you don’t get lessons in dating.

Some of you might have a sympathetic mum/dad or older sister or brother. But you might not want to share your personal stuff with them anyway, or ask them for advice on certain things. And a good friend might not have the breadth of experience to help you really sort the problem out properly.

I try to address many common teenage love problems that occur in the earliest stages of a relationship. And I don’t just rely on my experiences and what I have learnt from them, but draw upon experiences taken from lots of different people: guys and girls of all ages.

And that’s why I’ve written this book. To just pick out some of the things I wish I had known – that I wish someone had told me when I started dating. Some of it will be obvious. Some won’t. Some of it will be stuff I’ve only recently learnt about.

Every adult has been a teenager before so why do teenagers still keep making the same mistakes adults have always made? Why do the same old mistakes keep getting made generation after generation? In this book I will talk about how to stop yourself from making the classic dating mistakes – things that me and my friends took several years to learn.

A lot of research has been done, over the last few years, into what works and doesn’t work in dating and relationships. I have researched this topic in great depth. The more I have studied the more I have seen how many of the horrible dating experiences I have had could have been avoided altogether. I hope to pass on some useful things that I have learnt and wish I had known during my earliest dating years.

So let’s make a start. You fancy someone but don’t know how to approach them. Well, take a deep breath and read on. And remember – this guide is written for guys and girls too.

CHAPTER 2

HOW TO FLIRT AND ASK SOMEONE OUT?

There are right and wrong ways to flirting and asking someone out. There are five steps which you could take if you like someone you don’t know all that well and who you see around quite a bit eg. at college, school or work etc.:

Make eye contact a few times (1) and then try smiling at them (2). If they smile back, try to say Hello (3). Do this a few times over the next week or so. Then you could try starting a conversation with them (4) but keep the conversation light and impersonal. If the person you like has responded favourably, during all of these stages, then you could try asking them out (5).

If you don’t really know the person you fancy and have been observing them from afar, you need to try to get them to notice you in a positive way. You need to try to put yourself in their zone sometimes. Find out where they sit at dinner (if you’re at school or work). Watch where they go at certain times and be there sometimes and occasionally try to catch their eye. Don’t overdo it though, or else you might make the other person uncomfortable and this isn’t what you want.

After a week or so of this, you could move onto the next stage and try to smile at them when you see them. It may be that you more or less started smiling at them when you made initial eye contact and that’s fine. If they don’t smile at you after a few times of doing this, you must assume that they are uninterested and you shouldn’t keep smiling at them when you see them.

You also need to be aware that someone may make eye contact and perhaps smile and say ‘Hello’ because they are naturally a friendly person, or because they like you but don’t necessarily fancy you. All you are trying to do at this stage is to get them to notice you and to make some kind of contact with them.

I can’t say this enough – don’t assume the other person fancies you if they smile or make eye contact with you at this stage. (In fact don’t assume they like you until you’ve asked them out and they’ve said ‘yes’). Some people are naturally friendlier than others and may respond positively to other people behaving in a friendly manner toward them. They might not realise you like them in that way, until you ask them out. Everyone is different.

Your next step is to try saying ‘Hello’ for a few times when you see them. If they have smiled at you and said ‘Hello’ a few times then you should move on to trying to talk to them. If you see them, try to make conversation; nothing too heavy just a comment or two. If they’re interested they might reply or smile back. What you say isn’t too important (‘Hi, this queue is taking ages isn’t it?’ Or, ‘Those burgers smell good, don’t they?’) Try to phrase your first comment as a question. This gives them an opportunity to interact with you. Try to comment on something personal to them (not too personal though). Something like, ‘Is that bag as heavy as it looks?

Like I say, it doesn’t really matter what you say so long as it is neutral and not too heavy. Don’t start moaning about how you’re finding college or schoolwork difficult to cope with, for example. Just find something light to say. If that person likes you they will be, like you, just looking for any opportunity to speak.

Be observant. If they have a