First Dates

By Albert Yalman

"Two people meet and spend leisure time together for the very first time, in order to examine the potential of being a future couple throughout a frame of romance."
You are about to read THE MOST essential book of “first dates”, which has been written for the first time ever. In order to gain the most benefit from it, this must be read prior to your “first date”. The contents of which extensively analyze the history of “dating” and will also give you lots of practical knowledge illustrated by way of humor. This book has also been written with emotion and sincerity so you will have both great fun and lots of serious information about dating and relationships.
The key to me being able to write this book is, because I have personally dated over 100 girls in my lifetime.
It may not be something to be proud of you may think. However, I am confident that you are going to be so surprised at how fate led me along this great journey of dating whilst searching for true love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312427334

Book preview

First Dates

First Dates

Albert Yalman

A funny and *educational book of FIRST DATES

Copyright © 2014, Albert Yalman

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-312-42733-4

First Date:

Two people meet and spend leisure time together for the very first time, in order to examine the potential of being a future couple throughout a frame of romance.

Written by: Albert Yalman

*This book contains the material that developed in the formation, the knowledge, experience and memories of my own love life,

Special thanks to:

Mrs. Pnina Laric

Mr. Dan Baker, co-editing

My precious family for their full support

My super dog DUDE

and the ladies that I dated* (over 100 girls) in the journey of seeking true love, something that I have always been looking and hoping for.

Preface,

You are about to read THE MOST essential book of first dates, which has been written for the first time ever. In order to gain the most benefit from it, this must be read prior to your first date. The contents of which extensively analyze the history of dating and will also give you lots of practical knowledge illustrated by way of humor. This book has also been written with emotion and sincerity so you will have both great fun and lots of serious information about dating and relationships.

The key to me being able to write this book is, because I have personally dated over 100 girls in my lifetime.

It may not be something to be proud of you may think. However, I am confident that you are going to be so surprised at how fate led me along this great journey of dating whilst searching for true love. You are about to begin, from those very first words to how the result of this adventure affected on my personal life. I therefore convey these findings to you.

The reason for choosing first dates as a topic is straightforward. Firstly, I am now 41 years old and "still" single. It is not an easy thing. Maybe, it is because of my personality and the characteristics of my sign or maybe something else.

Funnier thing is, all the girls I dated, got married right after dating me, in their next relationships.

Who knows why?

Maybe it is because of my genes or maybe just maybe it is because I have been looking for the kind of values ​ in a person that are not very easy to find. You can’t blame me for having high standards eh!?

I will strongly emphasize that I am not one of those people, who gets bored easily of materialistic things, relationships, places etc. I again strongly point out that, I am a very hard working person and whatever I own or have owned has been earned as a result of this as well as being a trustful, and modest of course. However, it would be wrong to blame fate or the system or the world for the things that didn’t go as I have wished.

As a result of several years of dating with all kind of different ladies, I have realized that I had series of first dates, which were identical. Subconsciously, I had built a systematic method of dating. The ladies I have dated were all special to me and they were also a kind of hope for me too. This routine dating over and over, (which so far seemed a huge waste of time) did not result in any kind of success. It became more of a scientific experiment, being tested repeatedly in order to achieve the best result. In a nutshell, it turned out to be a race between the ladies to find a special one among them. It wasn’t exactly the moral way of how to go about things but it was the way I did it nonetheless.

Things began by having a meal at the same restaurant almost every Saturday night (with different ladies of course). This then became the routine of my life. I had a perfect plan for my Saturday nights; a great meal in a nice restaurant, followed by a decent drink in a nice club or a fancy pub which would hopefully result in me being lucky at the end of the night. It was then that I realized I ordered the same dish every single time at the restaurant. Even the owner of the restaurant was amazed as he would see me on a regular basis with a different lady each time. I remember him asking me, How come you find such beautiful ladies? You must be very rich! If only this were true I thought! To be honest I would usually look in the mirror and say to myself: You are not Brad Pitt my friend but you still you have it. Moreover, the chicks love you!

It has become a silly game for me lately. I did something that I really shouldn't have done. I used to go on a first date with a number of ladies and after I had notched up a few I would choose one of them at the end. It was a dangerous mistake. It was likely that the winner of the competition would not be my soul mate anyway. How could I have realized it? Of course some experience was needed;

Bad experiences…

Yeah!! Very, very, very bad experiences that just sharpened my mind every day over and over.

So far I have dated almost every physical type of lady. Tall-short, fat-thin, beautiful-ugly, big asses, small asses, big asses with small tits, big asses with big tits, (not small asses, just not my type) intelligent-less intelligent (in fact many stupid ones), wild chicks-nice girls… The list is very long actually. I dated pretty much every type of chick that you can imagine.

‘Lucky me huh?’ I hear you say.

The dilemma here is that neither women nor men can understand each other perfectly or often at all for that matter.  At this stage, I found there to be some fundamental differences between the various characters of the many women I first dated. Some of them were friendly and some were very romantic and some not so much.

Presumably at my age, almost all of my friends are married and have children. Some are divorced and married again, yet I could still not see any progress. However, I now understand perfectly where I was going wrong.

You see?

It is just the beginning of the book and I have already given you some essential tips.

Over the years I have built some rules and boundaries in my mind and these related to how a perfect first date should be. Of course, I should thank all the HOLLYWOOD movies and comedy series for washing my brain somewhat!

I now have a strict mindset and I can’t go outside of those boundaries. Finally I have realized that there are certain rules here but most importantly they are NOT THE RULES THAT YOU SET. Let’s say you want to buy something, for instance a new phone, a pair of shoes, clothes, a big screen TV or a car. In those cases the important things to consider are what you want and what you can afford.

You have to plan how to save money, when to buy or what to buy.

Simple as that!

However, if you want to be with a person the situation is very different. There are two conditions.

The first is the same as the one I just mentioned above. What you want and what you can afford?

And the second one makes the situation so complicated.

It is a person we are talking about here. It is so hard to find a person, who has exactly the same thoughts.

Can you imagine how many songs have been written about LOVE?

How many poems?

How many people got depressed because of it?

Do you know how many people committed suicide for the sake of their LOVE?

My goal is to now help people who have the same dilemma as me; how to do things right. I have now got the objectives and I have examined them for the first time, just for you my dear readers.

The first date is a guide for people who are looking for love enabling them to then evaluate whether or not a lucky person gets a chance for the all-important second date.

This topic has never been analyzed and published as a text book before, ever!

You don’t believe me?

Come on, GOOGLE it right now.

I am certainly not a handsome man. How many times can I mention that? Look at the back of the book or the end of the e-book. Look at my picture.

What do you say?

One to ten!

Come on! How would you rate me?

Whatever you think is really not that important. Most of the ladies find me very attractive. In fact not long ago (okay so it was years ago) some of my students I taught at the university opened a FAN web page about me and according to the survey they published, 60 percent found me devastatingly handsome. However, a more realistic view is that most people find me sympathetic.

Just before I published this book I had a series of stand-up comedy shows, which were originally designed to introduce the book. I then started a FAN page on FACEBOOK called,

First Date-Albert Yalman Stand-Up Comedy Show.

The numbers of FANs increased dramatically. The FAN page that I created for a very short period of time reached 400 members within 2 months of which I was very proud. I then began to wonder how many fans the famous actor Brad Pitt had.

This man has over 40 million fans. 40 MILLION!! Now I do admit that 400 is a very small number compared to that, however, it was an impressive figure for a sympathetic guy like me.

You'll definitely laugh whilst reading this book and you’ll also learn some stuff too! Presumably you will get some tips about dating, and learn lots of theoretical knowhow about life as well. In order for me to demonstrate, the examples and tips are based on my personal experiences. Some fictional characters were also created in order to better illustrate certain cases.

You may be influenced by the experiences I had with former girlfriends and may also learn a lesson in what to do or what not to do.

Footnote: This book is indisputable accuracy of the events that occurred. In addition, the privacy and confidentiality of the persons and authorities contained within have been kept secret. I do not wish to be sued!!

Thank you

Albert Yalman

About the author:

Albert Yalman was born in Istanbul in 1972. After five years of Business Administration education he immigrated to Israel. His childhood friend used to work at a five star prestigious hotel and he started to work at this hotel as well. Meeting people from all social classes and even different countries was a great life experience for him.

He got a good wind behind him. Due to the effect of motivation, he was selected as the "personnel of the year" among almost 400 people in 1995.  It was a good sign for his future hotel management career.

A summer in England in 1997 (whoop whoop) (in order to improve English skills) at the language school in Brighton was spectacular.

The next step was a good education in a well named school for hotel management. He then studied at the Hadassah College of Jerusalem between 1997 and 1999.

The author devoted himself to his career and worked in a student club/discotheque in public relations during his studies. Most importantly there he met the LOVE of his life. You are about to read a short story about this on the following pages.

After graduation he worked for a year and half in a prestigious hotel from the very beginning and elevated to the assistant manager of the department in the very same hotel.

Albert was rewarded with a semi-scholarship by the University of Brighton in the year 2000. It was the dream of his life.

During the second and third year of education he completed his 13 months internship at a prestigious golf club in Connecticut in the U.S.

Albert prepared a thesis of his work here at management level. In addition he published Journal of The Monkey House (a bi-weekly staff journal involving the employees), which was his first semi- professional work.

He graduated from the university in 2003 and continued his hotel career in different countries spanning different continents. After a twelve year career in the hospitality industry he worked in a number of completely different roles which meant adapting himself to many different situations.

The passion for writing stories was filling his free time. He kept writing many short stories and tips about the hospitality industry and collected them in a book called "The Game of Hospitality (original name: Otelcilik Oyunu) published by Maciagac Yayincilik in 2005.

Chapter 1:

Introduction

First Date, within the framework of today's modern life style can be described as, two people of the opposite sex (or same sex), who meet and spend some leisure time together without any third party for the very first time. That tries to get to know each other better in a planned schedule of program and analyze and examine each other as if they have the potential of being a pair in the very near future through the result of the physical approach and common characteristics within the frame of romance."

(Albert Yalman – The First Dates 2014)

In our era, it is hard to believe that in some society’s people are still forced to get married by their families against their will. In other cases they have to meet other people by different methods.

It is known that the culture of American life has brought a very significant angle to romance through the cinemas of Hollywood and has also changed the way in which to meet new people within the modern life style of this century.

Therefore, other cultures started to show similarities to the American culture and they changed the formation of first date tradition accordingly.

In accordance with the definition above, the two people of opposite (or same) sex get a very powerful physical attraction from each other. I would like to underline that, because the first thing is definitely the sexual energy that is generated. That brings two people together period! Then, they approach each other with the result of the power of sexual instincts and the force of hormones and the hunger of sexual impulses. The HUNGER shows similarities with the literal hunger just like the stomach sends the signals to the brain. The difference between two symptoms is vast. We can eat and fill our stomachs if we are hungry literally however, we cannot have sex when we feel like it, due to the moral implications.

Although, there is very little information about the history of this concept, 18th century European Jews have brought young people together in order to get them to know each other and to build future families. This could be considered as the very early age of first dates.

Moreover, according to an old Sicilian tradition, couples about to get married used to meet but were then accompanied by a convoy of family members behind them. However, nobody disturbed their privacy unless they were naughty.

Although couples in many other eastern cultures who were supposed to get married were not allowed to see each other, youngsters would meet secretly and flirt. There is no power on earth to stop two true lovers being together.

We have billions of examples of that throughout history.

Leila and Majnun, Romeo and Juliet, Kareem and Asli and many more whose numbers are too great to be listed, which proves the power of LOVE.

Love is a miracle and there is no such difficulty to be overcome for the sake of love.

In the past, there were not so many opportunities for people to meet each other for social activities as there are today. Love was formatted mostly as love at first sight. Moreover, there weren’t so many big family crises as there are today and not as many cases of divorce.

It has never been easy to live with a person. Society did not approve of divorces but there were still a number of ways to end this torture. Sometimes they just killed each other.

That’s right!

A lot of the time married couples just killed their spouse and buried them in a far side of the woods instead of getting divorced.

Things were very different back then.

Very different Indeed!

Women were only an object of sex and maternity to men. Possibly a maid as well. Women were limited to only a few things. Mostly house chores and giving birth. As they were thought not to be as clever as men, they were not considered as decision makers either. In fact, a man could have more than one wife in some cultures, and could even OWN a woman.

Wow! How things sound perfect in olden times!!!

How on earth do women have so much power and control nowadays?

Men had everything then. Land, rights, power…

I mean women were even pulled by their hair in the dark ages. Just look at things now though. They are all upside down and back-to-front.

Nowadays men spend so much money and effort in order to get some love.

What has happened that changed the world?

How come men have started to jump around like monkeys to attract the attention of a lady?

I mean what the hell happened there!!?

As I mentioned above, the men turned to monkeys.

Can you see my point now?

When did men turn into monkeys for the very first time?

I Will tell you when.

At the first date!

That’s right! Since the time that women got their economic freedom, men were no longer needed. And we the men have to do things as the women want now. We have to be kind, gentle, stronger, understanding, patient and RICHER! That is right, at one time we had the money and they didn’t have anything, not even rights. Now, they have everything and to be lucky enough to be chosen we have to have MORE THAN THEY HAVE. We have to be a better listener (be careful not a better talker), generous (their money is theirs but your money mi amigo is theirs too), more understanding (have I mentioned it earlier?) and so on.

I don’t want to upset my lady readers. But those are the words that must be known and heard. I am not against ladies in any way at all but in the end we all know the facts.

Women always worked as hard as men in order to build a family and you all probably know how our mothers worked so hard to raise us. Just like the birds build their nest, the female builds a house for the family.

If you watch the documentary programs as often as me you can easily understand the importance of the work of the female species in nature. The female builds a house in order to protect the babies and to put the family together.

In contrast to that, what does the male do?

They sleep all day or walk/swim/fly around and mostly fight.

If we didn’t’t have women in our life what would life be like?

A.   Let’s say we have survived without the protection of our mother in our childhood, we would fight constantly and probably end up killing too.

B.   We wouldn’t wear anything but the uniform of our favorite football team, and fight with the supporters of the other teams. Maybe even some more killing!

C.   We wouldn’t talk or communicate, we would bark and howl