Train Your Will

By Erik Oestenkjaer

Erik Oestenkjaer is one of the world's leading sport psychologists and mental coaches,
and in this book, he draws from his more than 35 years of experience with optimization
and development of the will and willpower.

TRAIN YOUR WILL is aimed not only at top athletes and sportsmen, but for all,
who want to develop themselves and even surpass themselves. The book is written with
thoughts of you, who want to optimize your own performance, whether it is
as a parent, athlete, coach or club manager. Furthermore, this book is also for ambitious company employees, and managers.

A stronger will make it easier to get rid of the habits and attitudes that stand in
the way of a better life. The will is therefore both a solution in itself and a tool to achieve
anything you want.

"In my experience, a strengthened will can change everything", writes
Erik Oestenkjaer. You too can start strengthening your will anytime, anywhere, and at
any time and, any age.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Erik Oestenkjaer
• Release date: Apr 8, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301322749

Erik Oestenkjaer

Dipl.Psych. MFCC. Erik Østenkjær has been a coach and sparring partner for elite athletes in 27 sports, in 21 countries. He has worked with most Denmark' leading football, handball, and ice hockey clubs, and is consulted by athletes from all major clubs in Europe. Erik Østenkjær has been practicing sports psychology as long as athletes have used mental training. In his work with athletes, coaches, parents and managers, he has gained deep insight into what it takes to your reach goals. "It is my experience that will, can change everything, and you can start strengthening your will at anytime, anywhere and at any age".

Book preview

TRAIN YOUR WILL

BY

ERIK ØSTENKJÆR

Copyright 2013 by Erik Østenkjær

Smashwords Edition

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Content

Introduction

Part 1 Facts and cases on will

Chp. 1: Where is the will located?

Chp. 2: The will is a muscle that needs to be exercised

Chp. 3: Straining the muscle of will

Chp. 4: The will 100

Chp. 5: Put your will to the test

Chp. 6: Your will supports your competences

Part 2 Will training

Chp. 7: Will training requires a healthy heart

Chp. 8: Self-knowledge is the road to change

Chp. 9: The form curve of will – personal training

Chp. 10: Training the four basic elements

Chp. 11: The will under pressure

Chp. 12: Will training for children and young people

Chp. 13: A united will – team will

Chp. 14: Future sports management

Chp. 15: Culture forms the will

Chp. 16: Culture producers in organisations

Conclusion

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Introduction

I want to stop smoking; I want to run a marathon; I want to become a top salesman in my firm; I want to lose 10 kilos; I want to play for FC Barcelona; I want to learn Japanese; I want to be the world's best tennis player; I want, I want, I want ...

For more than 30 years I’ve been helping people optimise their performance to reach their goals and fulfill their dreams. A lot of them have been top-class athletes. I have worked with 24 different branches of sports and 127 teams, clubs, organisations and a great number of top athletes in 13 countries. In addition, I have worked with a lot of families and companies.

On the whole, 30 years’ practice has provided me with an extensive catalogue of experience of people who wish to do something with their lives and it’s these experiences I hope might inspire you; and that’s the reason why I have written this book.

I have chosen to call the book Train your will because will, in my experience, is the key to change and progress. No matter the number of talents you posses, if you don’t have

the will to utilise your potential – well, then you won’t get anywhere.

In sports it is obvious who has the requisite willpower and who doesn’t, because we are able to rate performances in gold medals, national team selections and world records. But athletes are not the only ones who need greater willpower to perform their best, we all do, regardless of how old we are, our profession, interests, wishes and goals in life.

For different reasons, some people have easy access to their will; they have often spent more time and energy locating it, or conditions of life have forced them to strengthen it. But anyone can strengthen their will, and it is both vital and useful in many aspects of life.

When you train your will, you improve your mental strength, and as your will grows, you find yourself becoming braver and more self-confident.

A strong will makes it easier to get rid of bad habits and undesirable attitudes and behaviour that are blocking your way to a better life.

Therefore, willpower is an end itself and a means for achieving your goals.

Structure of the book

Train your will is for everyone, not just top athletes; it’s for everyone who, in one way or another, wishes to grow or support others’ development.

In the first part of the book I explain the basis for my thoughts and experience on will and the opportunities I have had to train it. I provide a number of tests and guidance in how you identify your will and claim responsibility for strengthening and focusing it.

In the second part I provide guidance in how you can train your will; how parents or trainers can go about working with children and young people; and finally how a team might practice will training, and how team spirit affects our will.

The book contains real-life cases, but my duty of confidentiality does not permit me to name any individual or organisation by name. If the reader believes he’s able to recognise himself in a case example, it may simply be due to the fact that I have encountered the same problem numerous times in a variety of forms and, therefore, describe a general problem.

I would like to thank my clients, customers, co-workers, colleagues and friends for their faith in me. Each of them have inspired and challenged me – and often set the bar so high that I couldn’t just jump right over, but had to train my own will to solve the task at hand.

Gl. Rye, Denmark, February 2013

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PART 1

Facts and cases on will

Chapter 1

Where is the will located?

To understand where the will is located, we need to map a part of the brain. The frontal lobes are located on the front of the brain. Brain scientist Elkhonen Goldberg has compared the frontal lobes to an orchestra conductor. The frontal lobes contain our executive brain functions and it's with the help of these functions that we are able to plan ahead, create and maintain initiative, make decisions, generate insight and attempt to understand what's going on inside and around us.

So the will is located in the frontal lobes which coordinate and control all other parts of the brain.

The anterior part of the frontal lobes is called the prefrontal cortex. It’s essential to the brain’s cognitive functions and of vital importance to our personality, because we know that the frontal lobes are responsible for planning, organising, problem-solving, confidence, directing focus and for executing higher cognitive functions such as emotions and behaviour.

If these parts of the brain don’t perform as they are supposed to, our behaviour becomes desultory; the things we need to do take on an accidental form; and it can be difficult to transform thoughts into actions. The psychological function becomes more primitive, and order and control are missing, which entail that a person’s behaviour becomes more impulsive and inexpedient.

So the prefrontal cortex is central in helping us build willpower, seeing as it comprises a shortcut to plans and goals, and it’s via this area that impulses to the rest of the brain are executed.

You can say that the brain’s command centre is located in the anterior left side of the brain. This is the area you work with, when you strengthen your will. It was previously believed that human beings had a definite number of brain cells when they were born, and that until they died people gradually lost these cells. Today, brain science claims that the brain produces approximately 10.000 new cells every day that wander to the part of the brain where they are needed. The latest research has also shown that the brain is not a fixed form; it’s a dynamic organ that we are able to influence, modify and enhance.

Naturally, with this insight psychology is presented with many new possibilities: when you know where the brain is located and you know what affects it, then you also know how you construct it and what tears it down.

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Chapter 2

The will is a muscle that needs to be exercised

We have all been born with a certain amount of will, and growing up we have strengthened it – some to a greater extent than others – but did you know that you have had the opportunity to develop and train your will your whole life?

When it comes to will training, the will can be compared to a muscle. Like a muscle that changes and grows when you use it, your willpower also increases when you train it.

The more you train and work with your will the larger it gets and the more will you have to generate more even will. It is exactly the same as a weightlifter who is able to lift 50 kilos to begin with and then, after a years’ training, gradually lifting more and more kilos, he is able to lift a 100 kilos.

Will training works just like weightlifters’ muscle training: the more you use and challenge your will, the more results or changes you’ll achieve in life.

Everyone does not have the same amount of will. First of all, we are born with a specific genetic predisposition to more or less willpower. Secondly, our life story and the culture we grow up in place certain demands on us and influence our will in a range of ways. Therefore, when it comes to will, two people rarely have identical starting points.

Behavioural changes can increase your willpower

Most people know that training is essential if you want to improve your fitness or increase your muscle power; that’s obvious. The same is true for will; if you continue to do things the same way, you will achieve the same results and, obviously, no change; therefore, will training calls for a behavioural change.

If you want to train your will, you can use as your starting point an aspect of your everyday life that you're not usually in control of. It may be the hour you go to bed. It may be dietary habits, tidying-up or doing your homework. Once you have chosen an area that needs to be strengthened, make a plan to achieve it.

By following this plan and sticking to your decision you train your will muscle. If you continue to train your will, this degree of self-control will further strengthen your willpower.

Keep on training, and you will increase your willpower bit by bit. And so on while your will grows larger and larger; the more speed the progress gathers, the more willpower you get.

If you are aiming for a small amount of willpower, you won’t have to put a lot into it before you suddenly have twice the amount of willpower.

In sports and business, results are often clearly measureable, because others evaluate your work and compare you to others, but the results of will training are universal. People who focus their will training will achieve more and quicker results – regardless of whether their goal is to lose weight, stop smoking, generate more clients or win medals.

Once you have a clear idea of where you’re going it’s easier to see the potential. Working with your will is a self-perpetuating process.

Discipline and exercises that strengthen your will

Self-control is the ability to control or reject unnecessary or detrimental impulses. It’s the ability to arrive at a decision and follow it with perseverance to its successful fulfillment. It’s the inner power that overcomes inclinations to indulge in redundant and useless habits and the inner strength that overcomes emotional and mental resistance to act on impulsive. It’s one of the corner stones of success, both spiritual and material, and therefore one in a number of required mental skills to develop and exercise willpower.

Self-discipline goes hand in hand with willpower. Self-discipline endows you with stamina and perseverance in whatever you have to do. It enables you to fight temptation and overcome challenges – physical, emotional or intellectual. It enables you to reject immediate satisfaction in order to achieve something better which requires greater effort and takes more time. When you are consistent and self-disciplined you will improve your willpower.

Here are a number of exercises that strengthen your self-discipline and self-control:

1. When you’re grocery shopping, try helping others carry their groceries; hold the door for them; allow them to jump ahead of you in the queue. This is not an exercise in politeness, but in doing something you are generally reluctant to do. It’s an exercise in overcoming the resistance in your body, mind and emotions.

2. Dishes that need washing have been left in the sink. Normally, you would put off the task; occasionally until you’ve run out of clean mugs. Do the dishes NOW; don’t succumb to indolence, when you know that self-discipline improves your willpower. And it will be easier to do the things you have to do, when you’re convinced that willpower is important to your life

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3. You come home from work tired and usually sit down in front of the TV, because you feel too lazy and exhausted to take a shower, start dinner, talk to your children or do

other tasks that require your physical presence, well – stop this behaviour. Don’t yield to the inclination to sit down in front of the TV; instead, start doing the things that require willpower.

4. When you know that your body needs exercise, do it; don’t sit down in front of the TV or the computer. Get up, go for a run, mow the lawn, play with your children, go for a walk with your wife or take the dog out.

5. Do you like sugar in your coffee? If you do, don’t add sugar to your coffee for a whole week. Prove to yourself that you are able to drink coffee without sugar for a week.

Do you drink a pot of coffee a day? If you do, restrict yourself to half a pot a day for a week. Prove to yourself that you can make do with half a pot.

6. When you feel like saying something that's not really important, choose not to. Hold off from expressing your opinion, even when it’s very important