If You Only Knew

Written by Kristan Higgins

Narrated by Xe Sands and Amy Rubinate

The drama, hilarity and tears of sisterhood are at the heart of the thoroughly captivating new novel by New York Times bestselling author Kristan Higgins-a funny, frank and bittersweet look at marriage, forgiveness and moving on Letting go of her ex-husband is harder than wedding-dress designer Jenny Tate expected.especially since his new wife wants to be Jenny's new best friend. Sensing this isn't exactly helping her achieve closure, Jenny trades the Manhattan skyline for her hometown up the Hudson, where she'll start her own business and bask in her sister Rachel's picture-perfect family life.and maybe even find a little romance of her own with Leo, her downstairs neighbor, a guy who's utterly irresistible and annoyingly distant at the same time. Rachel's idyllic marriage, however, is imploding after she discovers her husband sexting with a colleague. She always thought she'd walk away in this situation, but her triplet daughters have her reconsidering her stance on adultery, much to Jenny's surprise. Rachel points to their parents' perfect marriage as a shining example of patience and forgiveness; but to protect her sister, Jenny may have to tarnish that memory-and their relationship--and reveal a family secret she's been keeping since childhood. Both Rachel and Jenny will have to come to terms with the past and the present and find a way to get what they want most of all.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Recorded Books, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 25, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490681061

Kristan Higgins

Kristan Higgins is the New York Times, Publishers Weekly and USA TODAY bestselling author whose books have been translated into more than twenty languages. She has received dozens of awards and accolades, including starred reviews from Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, The New York Journal of Books and Kirkus. Kristan lives in Connecticut with her heroic firefighter husband, two atypically affectionate children, a neurotic rescue mutt and an occasionally friendly cat.

Reviews for If You Only Knew

[Angie Malouf · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Loved it! Simple and easy story yet so deep and relatable on so many different levels. Will absolutely read again!

[Katie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

i have listened to this book a dozen times at least - always my go-to when i can’t find something else. funny, charming characters, and the descriptions in the book are awesome. love amy and xe, too!

[Kathleen · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Fantastic audiobook! I loved the story and characters, it was very entertaining.

[gpangel_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

If You Only Knew by Kristin Higgins is a 2015 HQN publication. Jenny is still good friends with her ex-husband, Owen, and while that might seem like the enlightened path to take- in truth, she is still not over him. Her sister, Rachel, though, has the perfect marriage, and three adorable little girls… Until she discovers her husband is having an affair… Rachel’s entire personality shifts as a result, but she is still inclined to try and salvage the life she’s built and maintain the family life and home she once loved. She points to her own parent’s idyllic marriage as a model, but Jenny might have to shatter that image so that Rachel can make a more informed choice. Meanwhile, Jenny’s life also takes a new turn, but it could lead to fresh heartbreak…This is a re-read for me. The first time I read this book was for a professional review blog, years ago. I could only share a small portion of the review on my own social media or book sites, so when I discovered the blog is no longer viable and my review vanished with it, I decided to refresh my memory of this novel and then write a new, full review for this book- for my own book/reading record, if nothing else. I don’t think this book tugged on my heartstrings the first time I read it in the same way it did this second time around. I think back in 2015, I was expecting a contemporary romance and this is not that.This story has some hints of a gentle romance and the promise and hope of future relationship possibilities, but in essence this is a story about life, love, heartbreak, and personal growth, but at the core of the story is the bonds of sisterhood. For me, if my memory serves, this was one of the first books by Higgins I read which fell more into a ‘contemporary fiction’ category than a purely romantic one- and I wasn’t sure I liked the direction KH was heading, at that time. Since then, I’ve outgrown most of the angsty contemporary romance novels we are presented with today and find this style of writing much more to my liking. So, while I rarely re-read books, this is one occasion where the book was better the second time around for me. My emotions ran the gauntlet and I choked back a lump in my throat a couple of times, but I loved the way both Jen and Rachel’s characters grew and developed. Still…. I did hold out hope for a firmer HEA- perhaps an epilogue that let us know the ladies did indeed find true love and their dreams did eventually come true- but I can make up my own ending on that front, I suppose. Overall, this story may be a few years old now, but it not only stands the test of time, but gets better with age. Now I need to tackle all the KH novels on Kindle that I haven’t read yet!! 4 stars

[kbranfield-837433 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

4.5 sighworthy stars!

With her newest release, Kristan Higgins successfully transitions from the traditional romance genre to women's fiction. If You Only Knew is an absolutely compelling novel about marriage, infidelity and new beginnings that is poignant, humorous and full of strong emotions. Written from the alternating perspectives of Jenny Tate and her sister Rachel Carver, it is a beautifully written story that is heartfelt and engaging and stars an outstanding cast of characters that manage to both charm and infuriate as they endure some very unexpected challenges.

Jenny was completely blindsided when her now ex-husband Owen asked for a divorce. She has remained close friends with him and his new wife but she has decided it is time to put some distance between them. Moving back to her small hometown and opening her wedding design shop is just what she needs to take her mind of her ex and his growing family. Upon settling into her new home, Jenny is charmed by her enigmatic neighbor Leo Killian who immediately warns her that he is not looking for a relationship. Their unlikely friendship is complicated by their mutual attraction for one another and despite Jenny's conviction Leo will commit to her, the secrets from his past threaten their fragile bond.

Rachel is a stay-at-home mom of triplets and she is blissfully happy with Adam, her husband of nearly ten years. However, her idyllic marriage begins to fall apart after she discovers an explicit text on Adam's phone. He adamantly denies cheating on her but Rachel's suspicions are soon proven right when she discovers him in a compromising situation with his gorgeous co-worker. The couple decide to stay together but Rachel cannot completely trust Adam and when she catches him in another lie, the fate of their marriage hangs in the balance.

Jenny is gregarious, upbeat and friendly. Although quite close to Rachel, she is impatient with her mother's histrionics and avoids her as much as possible. Jenny is quite capable of taking care of herself and very little flusters her. She is fiercely protective of Rachel and despite of her sister's pleas to forgive Adam, she remains deeply angered by his betrayal. Jenny is immediately bewitched by Leo and their interactions are laced with humor and crackling with sexual tension. They easily and gradually transition from friends to lovers but Leo maintains an emotional distance from her.

Rachel is shy and her entire world revolves around her husband and daughters. She is shocked and hurt by his infidelity and she is very unsure about the future of their marriage. Not wanting to lose the life she has worked so hard to build, she agrees to stay with him but only if he agrees to counseling. Jenny is furious at his somewhat flippant attitude but she works hard at salvaging their marriage. She eventually becomes quite conflicted by her decision to stay with Adam and it takes until nearly the end of the story before she decides what she will do about their marriage.

Leo is an unbelievably complicated but intriguing man. He is funny, laid-back and easygoing but he is also completely closed off and quite secretive about his past. He reads Jenny like a book right from their first meeting and despite her obvious infatuation with him, he cannot seem to stay away from her. Leo is tragic, mysterious and so darned adorable it is easy to understand Jenny's attraction and her hopefulness that he will step up to the plate and commit to her.

If You Only Knew is a deeply moving novel about love, marriage, relationship, forgiveness and loyalty. This captivating depiction of life's messier moments is realistic and Kristan Higgins does not shy away from difficult or sensitive topics. Rachel and Jenny are lovable characters who will delight, charm and frustrate readers as they work their way through the various challenges life throws their way. It is an extremely heartwarming, sometimes heartbreaking and incredibly thought-provoking story that I highly recommend.

[airykah1382 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This wasn't my usual genre but I'm glad I decided to read this. It wasn't your typical sappy romance and I liked that. Each chapter switched back and forth between the two main characters, Jenny and Rachel, and I found myself more interested in Jenny's story. Rachel's story was more frustrating but in the end I enjoyed the whole story. The mix of humor and drama was just right.

[scoutmomskf · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Good book. It's a combination of romance and women's fiction, dealing with family drama and the relationship between two sisters. It is told in first person from each sister's point of view, in alternating chapters. It took me a few chapters to get used to the abrupt changes, but all-in-all it really worked.Jenny is the younger sister, a talented and increasingly popular wedding dress designer. She has been divorced from her husband for almost two years, but is still friends with him and his new wife. She's increasingly uncomfortable with that closeness (he calls her several times a week) and decides a little physical distance is a good idea. She moves back to her small hometown where she opens a custom bridal gown shop and rents an apartment in a charming brownstone. The "super" and downstairs neighbor is Leo, a handsome and charming piano teacher who arouses and frustrates her all at the same time. She's also excited to be living near her sister and her adorable triplet girls, and witnessing Rachel's perfect marriage.Rachel has been married to the perfect man for ten years and loves being stay-at-home mom to their little girls. She's incredibly happy with her life, until she discovers that Adam has been sexting with a coworker. She's afraid that he's doing more than that, and isn't sure how she wants to handle it. She's always been sure that she would walk away from that situation, but now that's she's facing it, she wonders if that's the right thing to do.I loved the relationship between Rachel and Jenny. They are typical sisters in that they don't always see eye-to-eye on everything, but they've always been there for each other in a crisis. I liked how Rachel was there when Jenny needed her, and tried to make Jenny see that her ongoing relationship with Owen and his wife was weird and not really in Jenny's best interests. Rachel also finds herself leaning on Jenny when her marriage to Adam is in trouble. But it isn't all sweetness when she feels that Jenny is judging her and pushing her to take actions she's not ready for. At the same time, I loved how Jenny is always ready to take care of the triplets whenever Rachel needs a break. Though she had an idealized view of Rachel's marriage, when push came to shove she was completely on Rachel's side, to the point where she was pretty obnoxious to Adam (not that he didn't deserve it). There were a couple times when their relationship became rather strained, but in the end their ties were strengthened.There were times when I absolutely adored Jenny, such as when she was helping Kimber with her wedding dress. But there were also times when I wanted to shake her, especially for hanging out so much with her ex. I enjoyed her relationship with Leo, from their initial snarkiness to their growing feelings for each other. I liked Leo's attitude at the dinner party when he refused to be the shallow type that the others were and how he tried to show Jenny that she wasn't doing herself any favors. I also liked seeing him try to protect her from herself. He saw her more clearly than she did herself. I also liked how Jenny saw the sad and lonely Leo beneath the "just for recreation" charmer that he showed the rest of the world. She pushed a little harder than he was comfortable with, but in the end he was able to share so much with her.As a character, I loved Leo. I suspected his true connection to the house well before he admitted it. It was so much fun to see Jenny give him a hard time about his lack of skills. I loved his connection with his various students, especially Evander. I ached for him as various pieces of his past came to light. I cheered at Evander's audition, when Leo broke through his own barriers to help a boy in need. I wasn't sure if he would ever open himself up to the possibility of loving again, especially right at the end. I'd love to see more of him in another book.Rachel was also an interesting character. She may be older, but she frequently seems young and naïve. Her shyness and social awkwardness don't do anything to change that impression. But she is a fantastic mother to her three girls, and I loved seeing everything she did with and for them. Of course, the early emphasis on how perfect her marriage is simply foreshadows that things aren't what they seem. I understood her need to believe the best of her husband, but also her underlying doubt. Their counseling sessions showed that, while she had some responsibility, Adam came across as a selfish prig. His attitude made me mad, and I completely understood Jenny's disgust with him. There were times I wanted to smack Rachel for her attitude, and I cheered for her when she took that weekend for herself, though I didn't like the conclusion she reached at the end of it. I was just waiting for Adam to screw up again, because I knew he would. It was great to see Rachel finally grow a backbone at the end.There were supporting characters that added terrific depth to the story. Jenny's mother and her attitude were an additional stress, especially to Jenny. The backstory of her marriage and what Jenny knew of it added to Jenny's questions of what she should share with her sister. I loved the whole bit with Kimber, Mrs. Brewster, and the saga of the wedding dress. I felt for Kimber having to deal with that witch of a woman, and was mad at Jared for not seeing what it was doing to her. I loved the end result of the wedding dress fiasco. There was also a surprising twist involving Kimber's mother.

[n.w.moors-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I love Kristan Higgins as an author and wait anxiously for her new books to come out. I admit I was taken aback when I started this one. For one thing, it's written in first person, alternating between two sisters, very different from most of her other books. I adjusted and read on. There were the laugh out loud funny moments that I expect from a Higgins book and a lot of very sad moments too.I adjusted again and thought about it. This is more of a chick lit book which is fine. The writing is excellent and the characters fascinating, warts and all. I stayed up until 4 am reading, then finished it today.Jenny and Rachel both grow a lot during the course of the story. Jenny has just gone through a divorce though she has a relationship still with her ex that is a bit weird. Rachel has the perfect life with her perfect husband, house, and three adorable girls --- until she finds out he's been cheating on her. I found that I cared a lot about these women and the relationships involved. I cheered for them by the end of the book though it wasn't the ending you normally get in a Higgins book. I can't wait for the next book in this series.

[saschad-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I have sat on this review for a couple of days because I was trying to determine why my reaction to this novel was so vastly different from the average reaction. My conclusion is that after all of these years of reading Kristan Higgins' books, I am no longer the target audience.

Desperation flows through If You Only Knew like lava. As I always heard chanted, there is nothing more off-putting than a desperate woman. This could well have been called Desperate Sisters and it would have been right on target. I think this book was called If You Only Knew because if you had, you probably wouldn't have read it, with the rhetorical "you," of course, being me.

The novel is written in first person, present tense, from the viewpoints of the two sisters. Stylistically the novel is more than a bit uneven.

The previous staple of Higgins' fiction, her wit, shows up sparingly and pretty much only between younger sister, Jenny, and the man she's determined to land, her super, Leo, when they have a few verbal exchanges. Even her usual affection for dogs has been replaced by selfish cynicism as Jenny remarks that Leo should euthanize the old dog he obviously loves and takes exceedingly good care of.

Because Higgins has begun to rely strongly on props that she pulls for each book, rest assured that: the younger sister does go on a very bad date (ironically the bad date dude yells the whole premise of the novel: you just want a man for his sperm), vegans and vegetarians are again mocked (it's supposed to be greatly amusing to the reader when Jenny says that she could have worn her bacon bra [yep, that's the humor the book's been reduced to]. There is a cliched self-absorbed mother. The soapbox ramble also denounces people who volunteer (because they may or may not be self-righteous; it's far better not to volunteer because you wouldn't want to be called out for bragging about it) and people who listen to NPR. Heh.

Unfortunately, one of the best moments of the book comes in one of the final scenes between Jenny and her "self-absorbed" mother. They are both shown to be human and actually have a warm conversation. Now, if only the entire book had read this way, how much more intriguing it would have been for us to see real women interacting with each other and not be reduced to a "clenching uterus" because a good looking sperm donor with a six-pack (sheesh, not even beer) appears.

Conclusion. The theme for this book is: Women just want a hunk to have babies with; said hunk is then unnecessary.

[stephlaymon · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Let's start with what was so great about If You Only Knew by Kristan Higgans. The two main characters, sisters, Rachel and Jenny are just great! They have such distinct voices, making the alternating POV's extra special. Both of the sisters are people pleasing door-mats, but in different ways. I found both of the woman incredibly likable, and I think that is because they are not mousy, they just haven't found their inner warrior yet.
The story is about each woman finding their strengths in unexpected ways, and it is a sweet journey indeed. The pain that Rachel goes through is heartbreaking and painfully realistic. Honestly, it dredged up emotion in me, and rage towards Rachel's husband. There is no way that I could have made it through this book in a million years if my life were effected my infidelity. It would have been to much. Thankfully, Jenny's laugh out loud narration balances things out.
The supporting characters are all different and all play important roles in the outcome of the book. Some are more likable than other, but all very necessary.
The problem that I have with the story are the dragged out descriptions of locations and family memories that come from Jenny's POV. There is a point to a portion of the family history, but there is just too much that meant nothing in the end and is what I would call skimable.
Overall, If You Only Knew is a great book with inspiring main characters and a great theme of hope and change.

[susan.h.schofield · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Actually 3.5 stars. I did not expect to enjoy this book - I thought it would be too much of a romance novel for my taste. But I was pleasantly surprised and really enjoyed this book. I loved the character of Jenny and laughed ay many of her comments and observations. Both Rachel and Jenny were characters that many women will relate to - the harried mom worried about keeping her marriage together and the single woman looking for a family. Rachel was a little unbelievably naïve for a 40 year old woman, but I liked her transformation by the end of the book.