PODCAST #349
HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION: HOW TO DO IT WITH CONFIDENCE
Communicating well through conflict resolution is a healthy manifestation of a confident person with congruent relationship management. 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're chatting about: 

How to communicate and speak up for yourself with confidence (and without being pushy or emotional)
8 Ways to navigate healthy conflict resolution
The challenge of being in conflict with yourself and how to work through it


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HOW TO COMMUNICATE AND SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF WITH CONFIDENCE
Conflict becomes larger than it needs to be from poor communication.

Always be communicating (ABC)

Communication is an art form and something to practice daily and progressively.

Seek examples of healthy communication and look to healthy dialogue.

Don't apologize for your perception of something or your preferences - but communicate them fairly and with balanced emotion or expanded flexibility.

Remember - all relationships, from parent-child, to spouse-to-spouse, to friend-to-friend, to co-worker-to-co-worker, are growing. Communication waters a relationship and gives it life, lack of communication will make it whither when the sun shines brightly.

Seek to learn and listen as much as you seek to be understood and heard. 
8 WAYS TO NAVIGATE HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION
STICK TO THE ISSUE

don't add in other issues or overcomplicate

LEAD WITH GRACE

grace and positive assumptions

AVOID OUTLANDISH STATEMENTS

like "never" "always", etc.

WORK TO FIGHT FAIR

listen, take turns, give space, communicate, resolve to express love, always

KEEP A SHORT LIST OF OFFENSES

stand up for what is right, but learn to let go of what doesn't matter

remember that you are flawed too and have hurt others, keeping track of hurts doesn't serve anyone. it can help guide you for boundary setting, but shouldn't be held against people. 

AFFIRM THE RELATIONSHIP 

Affirm the relationship before clearly defining the problem. For example, “Our relationship is important to me. But when you don’t return my calls, I feel rejected and unimportant.” Avoid blaming the other person and saying, “You make me feel…” Instead, say, “When you do ‘A’, I feel ‘B’.”Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, How to Have That Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding (Grand Rapids: Zondervan0 2005), 51.

PLAN TIME AND DON"T PUT IT OFF / LET IT FESTER 

festered hearts are ugly, and though it's easier to sweep things under the rug, it will do more damage to you than to the person in conflict 

WORK FOR A MUTUAL SOLUTION

there's never just one party at fault - it takes two to be in relationship and two to come into resolution 
THE CHALLENGE OF BEING IN CONFLICT WITH YOURSELF (AND HOW TO RESOLVE IT)
What if the conflicting relationship isn't with someone else,