Finally Good Enough:: Overcoming Lifelong Disappointments in Relationships Through Self-Acceptance

By Stephanie Clark Rhoe PhD MSW.

Finally Good Enough: Overcoming Lifelong Disappointments in Relationships Through Self-Acceptance

Ever experienced disappointments in your relationships, leaving you burdened with emotional scars and yearning for healing and fulfillment? Discover the transformative power of self-acceptance, inspired by profound Biblical teachings, in Finally Good Enough: Overcoming Lifelong Disappointments in Relationships Through Self-Acceptance.

Drawing wisdom from true life case studies, whimsical stories, and biblical scriptures, the journey of self-acceptance is beautifully intertwined with the essence of accepting others, forgiveness, and fostering healthier relationships built on love, understanding, and compassion.

Sis, are you ready to break free from the weight of past disappointments and forge a new path toward genuine self-acceptance? This empowering book delves into the heart of human connections, guiding you to embrace your true self with all its strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. Learn to extend the grace and forgiveness that the Bible teaches, liberating yourself from bitterness and resentment that hinders growth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9798369412954

Stephanie Clark Rhoe PhD MSW.

Stephanie Clark Rhoe, MSW, PhD, is a woman of many passions and talents, with an incredible journey spanning over thirty years in governmental forensic mental health, clinical therapy, and the mental health fields. Throughout her career, she worked closely with struggling youth and their families, witnessing firsthand the unique challenges faced by those from low socioeconomic backgrounds and more. She identified a common thread among these challenges—the crucial need for social and emotional skills. Driven by her experiences and observations, Dr. Clark Rhoe became a trailblazer advocating for public policy reform and addressing social and emotional learning in secondary education. Her doctoral studies in public policy and administration focused on political action and advocacy, paving the way for her remarkable career in social work. As a Social Emotional Learning (SEL) expert, she has touched the lives of countless individuals, empowering them to embrace self-acceptance, set meaningful goals, and unlock their full potential. Beyond her professional achievements, Dr. Clark Rhoe is an accomplished author, Bible counselor, and teacher, impacting lives through her guidance and wisdom. Her faith in Jesus Christ has grown and remains at the core of her worldview, infusing her work, volunteerism, and personal life with moral values and ethics drawn from the teachings of the Word of God. A Christian influencer, she excels in coaching women on leadership and discipleship, guiding others to find their voices and strengths. Stephanie Clark Rhoe is more than her professional accolades—she is a devoted wife, loving mother, doting grandmother, and an inspiring leader. Despite her impressive achievements, she remains humble, viewing herself as a lifelong learner with an insatiable thirst for knowledge. Dr. Clark Rhoe’s love for reading knows no bounds as she delves into various topics to broaden her horizons. Her creativity knows no bounds either, as she finds solace and expression through fashion and jewelry design, a true graduate of FIDM in Los Angeles. While her expertise lies in serious matters, she knows the value of joy and relaxation, finding her happy place anywhere tropical, especially in beautiful Hawaii. Beyond her professional endeavors and creative pursuits, she cherishes spending time in the kitchen, whipping up gourmet dishes for her friends and family. Her diverse hobbies include scuba diving, horseback riding, and, most importantly, creating unforgettable memories with her husband, adult children, their spouses, and five cherished grandchildren, whom she describes as her pieces of Heaven on Earth. In the heart of Southern California, Stephanie Clark Rhoe and her husband reside, continuing to inspire others through their actions and unwavering faith. With a captivating story and a life dedicated to helping others, Dr. Clark Rhoe is an extraordinary soul, leaving a lasting impact on the lives she touches.

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Copyright © 2024 by Stephanie Clark Rhoe, PhD, MSW.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 12/12/2023

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

853145

To my husband, Jonathan, continue to dream with me, I love you.

To my daughters, Nashira, Larissa, Tatiana, and Moriah, you are

each my breaths of life. Thank you, being your mother has taught

me so many life lessons. You are each accomplished women in your

careers, and your faith. Know I am honored that you call me mom.

In loving memory of

Pamela Crute, I miss you every day. More than words can express.

And

Genova Flota, I love you. Your strength lives on.

The Holy Bible, God ‘s sacred words to us

are fully and completely enough.

I pray you find this book full of wisdom and informative tools that

point you towards God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

I give all glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

How to Use This Book

Chapter 1     Disappointments

Chapter 2     Self-acceptance

Chapter 3     Choosing Yourself

Chapter 4     Healing Emotional Disappointments in Relationships

Chapter 5     Forgiving: Permission Not Required

Chapter 6     Personal Growth and Your Voice

Chapter 7     Communication: Your Word Power and Your Authority

Chapter 8     Personal Growth and Communicating

Chapter 9     Communication and Close Relationships

Chapter 10   Distractions

Chapter 11   Finally Good Enough

Chapter 12   Putting It All Together

Conclusion

References

About the Author

Acknowledgments

PREFACE

Whimsical storytelling and case studies used in this book are the imagination of the author or used in a way to ensure names as well as the scenarios, genders, and locations are made up and do not represent any real persons; thus, are completely free of any legally protected information or details that may connect these stories to any real persons, places, or settings in which this author has ever had any contact. Any resemblance to any actual people or places or incidences is unintentional and entirely coincidental.

All Bible quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV, unless otherwise noted.

Seek the advice of a medical doctor or other health care provider to provide care for any physical disease, ailment, any mental, or emotional issues or conditions. The information in this book is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

INTRODUCTION

I would like to explain the significance of the images on the book cover. The flower in full bloom signifies the beauty of who I was meant to be in full display for all to behold. The smartly dressed woman holding a sword signifies spiritual maturity with confidence as she faces the world at large. The sword and the shield signify the spiritual warfare weapons as outlined in Ephesians 6 of the Holy Bible. Many battles in my life involved spiritual realities. Therefore, with reverence and love, I pray my Father’s words back to Him, I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way. I know how amazing that was! (Ps. 139:14, ERV).

Relationships are vital in human life, shaping our experiences, emotions, and overall well-being. However, it is not uncommon for individuals to face lifelong disappointments in relationships, which can profoundly impact their mental and emotional health. Self-acceptance becomes crucial in addressing these disappointments and finding a path toward healing and fulfillment.

One of the key aspects of overcoming lifelong disappointments in relationships is the practice of self-acceptance. Self-acceptance refers to acknowledging and embracing one’s true self, including strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. It involves recognizing that no one is perfect and that we all have limitations and areas for growth. By accepting ourselves as we are, we can develop a healthier attitude toward relationships and approach them with a greater sense of self-worth and confidence.

The Bible offers valuable insights into the importance of self-acceptance in overcoming relationship disappointments. Romans 15:7 states, Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, to bring praise to God. This verse emphasizes the significance of accepting others and oneself, mirroring the principle of self-acceptance in relationships. When individuals learn to accept themselves as Christ accepts them, they can extend their acceptance and grace toward others, fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Disappointment is an inevitable part of life; nowhere is it more deeply felt than in our personal relationships. Whether it’s failed romances, fractured friendships, or broken family bonds, lifelong disappointments can weigh heavily on our hearts. However, by embracing the power of self-acceptance, as inspired by biblical teachings, we can find the strength to overcome these disappointments and forge healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

The Bible encourages us to extend grace and forgiveness toward others and ourselves. In Matthew 6:14–15, Jesus teaches, For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. This message reminds us that holding onto resentment and bitterness only perpetuates the cycle of disappointment.

Through self-acceptance, we can cultivate a spirit of forgiveness, releasing ourselves from the burdens of the past and creating space for healing and growth. The journey of self-acceptance is not a solitary endeavor. In Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, we are reminded of the strength found in companionship and support: Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

Seeking guidance, counsel, and encouragement from trusted individuals, such as mentors, friends, or spiritual leaders, can provide invaluable support in overcoming lifelong disappointments in relationships. We can find solace and a renewed sense of hope by sharing our struggles and triumphs.

Finally Good Enough: Overcoming Lifelong Disappointments in Relationships Through Self-Acceptance designed to speak to women of all ages, new to the Christian faith or seasoned leaders. The is book written with the goal of simply teaching personal growth and effective communication using scriptures as the foundation to establish and reinforce basic principles of self-acceptance, forgiveness, emotional healing, and renewal of mindsets.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

It may be helpful to have these materials on hand:

■ Bible.

■ Notebook or journal. Be sure to check out this book’s companion journal.

Available on Amazon.com.

■ Pen or pencil to write with or iPad which to take digital notes.

At the end of the chapters there are key takeaways, journaling prompts, questions and answers sections, reflection remarks or other discussion points to ponder. These are great for use in book clubs, and Bible study groups. Additionally, the objectives of reflections, questions and answers, opportunities allow for the reader participants to gain personal insight, reinforce new habits, thoughts, and behaviors through interfacing with these selections as indicated. For example:

Reflections

1. Personal growth. Encouraging individuals to reflect on their journey of integrating ideas, skills, and knowledge helps them recognize their progress and areas of improvement. They can identify the strengths they have developed and the challenges they faced during the process.

2. Learning from experience. Through reflection, individuals can gain insights from their past experiences of integrating diverse elements. They can evaluate the outcomes of their decisions and actions, enabling them to make better choices in the future.

3. Goal setting. Reflecting on putting it all together allows individuals to align their efforts with long-term goals. They can assess whether their current integration of ideas and skills leads them in the right direction or if adjustments are needed.

4. Identifying patterns. Self-reflection helps individuals identify patterns in their thinking and problem-solving approaches. They can recognize recurring obstacles and find effective strategies to overcome them.

Using Questions and Answers

1. Clarifying concepts. In a Q&A session, individuals can seek clarification on specific topics or aspects of putting it all together. They can ask questions to deepen their understanding and bridge any knowledge gaps.

2. Learning from others. Engaging in Q&A allows individuals to learn from the experiences and perspectives of others. They can gain new insights, approaches, and best practices for successfully integrating ideas and skills.

3. Building a supportive community. Q&A sessions provide opportunities for individuals to connect with like-minded people who share similar interests in integration and continuous learning. This fosters a supportive community that encourages growth and development.

4. Overcoming challenges. Participants can use the Q&A platform to seek advice and solutions for challenges they may encounter during their integration journey. They can receive guidance from experts or individuals who have overcome similar obstacles.

CHAPTER 1

Disappointments

E XPERIENCING DISAPPOINTMENT, WHETHER causing it or being its recipient, involves a range of emotions such as sadness, regret, depression, discontentment, a heavy heart, distress, unhappiness, sorrow, or displeasure. My sister-in-Christ, as we discuss the different types of disappointments in relationships, we will gain insight into the significance of emotional intimacy and its link to disappointments. Also, we will discuss how early upbringing mindsets can become transformed. Ready? Let’s embark on this journey.

Sis, fear used to be a major source of worry for me; every morning, I would wake up dreading the possibility of undesirable and harmful events. But now, my heart meditates on believing I can achieve everything! I approach each day with a positive outlook, knowing that today will be a good day. Life is an unpredictable journey filled with highs and lows, successes, and setbacks. Along this winding road, we inevitably encounter disappointments—those moments when our expectations clash with reality, leaving us with sadness, regret, or discontentment. Disappointments can stem from various sources: unmet goals, shattered dreams, failed relationships, or unforeseen challenges. While they are an inevitable part of the human experience, how we respond to these disappointments can greatly impact our well-being and resilience.

Life’s journey is often likened to a pilgrimage of faith, where believers walk in the footsteps of their Creator, guided by His divine wisdom and grace. However, this spiritual path is not immune to disappointments—moments when our expectations clash with God’s plans, leaving us with confusion, sadness, and even doubt. In the pages of the Bible, we find stories of faithful individuals who faced their fair share of disappointments yet emerged with renewed hope and deeper faith.

Together, we will seek solace in verses that remind us to cast our burdens upon the Lord (Ps. 55:22), find strength in times of weakness (2 Cor. 12:9), and trust in His plans, even when they differ from our own (Prov. 16:9). As we navigate the complexities of disappointment through the lens of faith, we will discover that our journey is not without purpose. Instead, these trying moments can serve as steppingstones toward a deeper understanding of God’s love, the refinement of our character, and the unshakable hope that prevails even in the darkest times. So, let us open our hearts to the teachings of the scriptures and find hope amid the trials as we grow in our relationship with the One who holds our every step on this pilgrimage of faith.

A lifelong disappointment refers to a deep and enduring sense of unmet expectations or unfulfilled desires that persist throughout a person’s life. It can manifest in various areas, such as personal relationships, career aspirations, health, or other significant life goals. Unlike ordinary disappointments that may be temporary or situational, a lifelong disappointment becomes a constant companion, shaping one’s worldview and impacting their emotional well-being.

This type of disappointment can be rooted in early experiences, traumas, or unaddressed issues that continue to influence a person’s perspective and choices. It may result from a profound loss or a persistent feeling of not living up to one’s potential or societal expectations. Regardless of its origin, a lifelong disappointment often permeates various aspects of a person’s life, making it challenging to find lasting contentment or fulfillment.

Overcoming a lifelong disappointment can be a complex and transformative process. It may involve seeking support from loved ones, professional counseling, or spiritual guidance. By addressing the underlying issues, finding new perspectives, and developing resilience, individuals can gradually work towards healing and finding greater peace within themselves. It is important to remember that lifelong disappointments are unique to each person, and the journey of healing and growth will vary for everyone. With determination and a willingness to confront these feelings, finding a path toward self-acceptance, renewed hope, and the potential for a more fulfilling life is possible.

Disappointing Relationships

Disappointing relationships are an inevitable part of the human experience. At some point in our lives, we all encounter relationships that do not meet our expectations or fulfill our desires. Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, a family connection, or a professional association, disappointments can arise when our hopes and dreams clash with the reality of the relationship.

These disappointments can stem from various reasons, such as unmet needs, broken trust, conflicting values, or communication breakdowns. They can leave us feeling hurt, betrayed, or emotionally drained, questioning the authenticity and longevity of the connection.

Disappointing relationships can be one of life’s most challenging aspects. As human beings, we are wired for connection and yearn for meaningful and fulfilling relationships with others. However, the reality is that not all relationships meet our expectations or bring us the joy and support we desire. In the Bible, we find stories and verses that speak to the complexities of human relationships, including those that are disappointing. From friendships strained by betrayal to family dynamics marked by conflict, the scriptures acknowledge the realities of human interactions.

One such example is the story of David and his close friend Jonathan. Their bond was genuine and deep, yet Jonathan’s father, King Saul, became jealous of David’s popularity and sought to harm him. This situation caused immense disappointment and heartache for David and Jonathan as they navigated the complexities of