It's easy to rationalize the negative ways we talk or act toward our partner. In fact, rationalizing bad behavior often leads to conflict and the eroding of a relationship. Listen to this episode to learn why excuses and rationalizations creep into even the best of marriages, and how help couples identify and eliminate them. In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Learn why it's so hard to be self aware when emotions are high and how to change this. Defending yourself versus being defensive and the important distinction between each. Why using "I" statements instead of "You" can make a huge improvement in the communication in your relationship. How to become self aware in order to avoid rationalizing bad behavior. Why we have negative reactions to being accused and how to change this communication on both sides. And much more! Jason Whiting, Ph.D., is a professor at Brigham Young University who studies deception, conflict, and abuse in relationships, with the goal of helping couples become more loving and authentic. His book, Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationships, looks at how partners can be more honest with themselves and each other. In addition to teaching, studying, and writing about relationships, Whiting is a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with couples in a clinical context. Full Show Notes at http://idopodcast.com/117 New Blog Post: The 4 Big Relationships Don'ts Our goal is to create content that will help make your relationship great. Please take just 5 minutes to tell us how we can help you in your relationship. Take Survey here! Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Do you want to hear more on this topic? Do you or your partner struggle with rationalizing bad behavior in your relationship? If so, you're not alone. Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Sponsors Talkspace: The online therapy company that believes that therapy should be affordable, confidential and convenient. Join over 500,000 people who have used Talkspace for online therapy with their licensed therapist. Get $30 off your first month when you visit Talkspace.com/IDO. FindYourTrainer.com: Today’s show is sponsored by FindYourTrainer.com, America’s largest personal trainer network that matches you with your perfect personal trainer. Train anywhere, anytime. Get $50 off your first session when you visit FindYourTrainer.com/IDO with Promo Code: IDo If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! - Chase & Sarah