The Four Cs for Building Healthy Relationships

By J. A. McGruder

Every relationship, romantic or platonic, direly needs critical keys for its success. Whether the relationship is between friends, spouses, parents, and children, this author has identified four critical elements (based upon a Christian perspective) needed for a relationship to thrive and positively flourish. All connections and associations must be rooted in strong foundational premises that will serve as building blocks for positive growth. This book will share with you the four Cs for building healthy relationships. As each individual incorporates Christ, communication, commitment, and compromise, these tenets properly used can be the catalyst for positive growth in any relationship you may have.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 2, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493191512

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by J. A. McGruder, PhD.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014905931

ISBN:   Hardcover   978-1-4931-9152-9

   Softcover   978-1-4931-9153-6

   eBook   978-1-4931-9151-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Rev. date: 04/28/2014

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CONTENTS

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1   The Origin Of Relationship

Chapter 2   Christ

Chapter 3   Communication

Chapter 4   Commitment

Chapter 5   Compromise

Chapter 6   Why Relationship Building Must Be Vertical And Horizontal

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Foreword

Four Tenets: Christ, Communication, Commitment,

and Compromise

As you have picked up a copy of this book to peruse, take a quick retrospective view of your life and your relationships. Can you recall couples who have been married or friends who have sustained relationships for more than twenty-five years? Do you or your loved ones have lasting friendships that were forged during your early childhood years? Are there individuals who have crossed your path with whom you—despite distance, separation, life’s circumstances, or challenges—have sustained relationships successfully for many years? What are the underlying forces that bind these relationships together over many years despite the challenges and struggles that are inevitably in our relationships? There’s no doubt that these aforementioned relationships resulted from diligent work, persistent practice, and patient endurance.

In order to develop and sustain lasting relationships, each one of us must take careful steps to strengthen the relationships in our lives.

In this book, I briefly discuss four critical key tenets that will support your desire to build healthy relationships, regardless of the type. Those key tenets are Christ, communication, commitment, and compromise.

This short book was birthed out of my passion to compile and share years of life experience, my love for humanity, and my having been employed in numerous capacities. In addition, I have forty plus years in a ministerial career and numerous years conducting Christian and general counseling in various churches and human services settings. In light of my past employment as senior pastor, vocational counselor, mental health counselor, educational psychologist, and professor of psychology, my desire in this brief book is an attempt to drive home to individuals desirous of a Christian-based relationship a biblical perspective of the origin of relationships. The foundational framework for this book is based upon my personal belief that since Christ is the originator of relationships, he is best qualified to set the standards by which relationships should be built.

This book was crafted to empower singles, couples, adolescents, adults, and all who may be interested in relationship building with knowledge of what it takes to forge lasting relationships. It contains a plethora of wise nuggets about the key tenets or ingredients of a successful relationship. As a pastor, professor, educational psychologist, and professional counselor, I encounter countless numbers of individuals who enter my offices seeking counseling and guidance in regards to navigating the dysfunctional ties and struggles in their relationships (personal, marital, or professional). These clients or parishioners are looking for that right fix or solution to strengthen ties with their loved ones. There is no magical solution or simple hocus-pocus remedy; simply, the aforementioned four key tenets are the essential principles that will aid individuals in their pursuits to build stronger and healthier relationships with those they love.

In an unhealthy world filled with insurmountable, tumultuous challenges and strife, one can allow these tenets to guide their desired efforts to build and enjoy long and healthy relationships. Keeping these four tenets at the forefront of each relationship can lead to happier and sustained relationships with the ones you hold dear.

A Man that hath friends must show himself friendly… (Proverbs 18:24)

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Acknowledgments

Never would have made it without you!

—Marvin Sapp

Quite frankly, if I would list all individuals who deserve acknowledgment for my engaging in this project, numerous and various names would be listed in this book.

With that said, lest I omit very special individuals in my life, allow me to thank first and foremost my eldest daughter, Geneva Monica McGruder, who calls her dad at least two or three days a week, telling him how much she loves her dad. Additionally, despite the fact that I do not have (nor do I intend to have) a Facebook account, I understand she frequently gives shout-outs to her dad stating how proud she is having him as her father. Truly, I’m grateful and thankful for the gift of fatherhood—one that has also blessed me with Anthony, Naran, and LaTisha as well.

Special friends in my life who have been very instrumental in reading and proofing numerous and various documents on my behalf include Peggy A. Haley, Deborah Thomas, Shelia Pollard, and Lisa Bellamy—along with my right hand, associate minister, administrative assistant, and friend, Kári Davita King-Hill. I would like to also thank Warren Hill, who allows his wife, Kári, to spend many hours assisting me in every aspect of my projects.

Special friends who have inspired me include Reverend David Russell (my longtime friend and ministerial colleague); Andrea Perry, who often remarks, Giving up now is not an option; Amber Floyd and her mother, Rosalie Floyd, whom I often bounce many of my bizarre ideas off of before others discover my insanity; and all the officers and members of Faith Emanuel Baptist Church.

Finally, I dedicate this work in loving memory of my biological mother, Ruth O. Mobley, along with my adoptive mom, Janie T. Alexander, and