There’s a scene in Sex and the City where Charlotte York is determined to convert to Judaism. She knocks on the door at the synagogue and a rabbi appears. “My name is Charlotte York, and I am here today because I would like to consider joining the Jewish faith,” she declares. The rabbi swiftly replies, “We’re not interested.” He then shuts the door on her face. Jilted, York knocks only to be slighted, again, by a different clergy member. While lamenting about the interaction to her fiancé, Harry Goldenblatt, York learns it’s a standard practice for an outsider to be rejected three times as they earnestly convey their interest in converting to Judaism. So York sets forth with the premarital education experience (a conversion in her case), where she develops a deeper understanding of herself, her new faith and her future with Goldenblatt.
The purpose of premarital counseling is to deepen one’s self-awareness and understanding of their partner. High divorce rates, unhealthy marriages, and, sadly, domestic abuse cases spotlight the need for premarital counseling across languages, cultures, religions and identities. Until the late 20th century, counseling came with a stigma. Often, couples sought advice from loved ones, local pastors or rabbis.
It’s only within the last decade that premarital counseling has reached, well, “trend” status. PMC (as some couples call it) used to be considered a lower-priority wedding checklist item, but the stigma is dissipating—and we have Gen Z to thank. According to a report from
