Today, I Love Me: A Self-Help Guide to Living Unapologetically by Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

By Zelina Chinwoh

Are you tired of feeling weighed down by relationships, environments, and belongings that no longer bring you joy or fulfillment? Are you exhausted from trying to fit into roles and expectations that do not align with your true self? Are you longing for a sense of freedom and authenticity in your life, where you can let go of the old to make space for the new? Are you weary of holding onto past experiences and attachments that no longer serve your growth and well-being?

 

Imagine living a life where you boldly embrace your true self, mastering the art of letting go of people, places, and things that no longer serve a purpose in your life. This self-help guide serves as your compass, guiding you on a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Through insightful reflections and actionable steps, you will uncover the layers of your being, redefine your boundaries, and cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth. In this book, you can change your current narrative by navigating the challenges of releasing old attachments and embracing new experiences. Discover the freedom and joy that come from living authentically. Embrace this journey as an opportunity for growth, fulfillment, and profound inner peace.

 

In this book, you will discover:

Practical strategies for cultivating self-love and acceptance, allowing you to embrace your true essence and live authentically.

 

Insightful reflections on releasing attachments to people, places, and things that no longer serve your growth and well-being.

 

Engaging journal prompts and exercises designed to guide you through the process of self-discovery and empowerment.

 

Inspiring anecdotes and stories that illuminate the path to embracing your uniqueness and stepping boldly into the fullness of who you are meant to be.

 

Expert guidance from a licensed therapist, offering clinical expertise and compassionate support as you navigate the journey toward living unapologetically. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zelina Chinwoh
• Release date: Mar 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224212255

Zelina Chinwoh

Zelina Chinwoh is a licensed clinical therapist, accomplished author, and US Army Veteran, renowned for her extensive expertise in human behavioral and social work practices. With a deep commitment to empowering individuals to embrace their authentic selves and life purposes, she specializes in guiding clients through life transitions, grief, and loss, while facilitating self-identity development. Additionally, she addresses issues related to intergenerational trauma and C-PTSD, enriching her practice with a holistic approach.

Book preview

For Once, DO I EVEN LIKE ME?

Today, I like and embrace my authentic self without question - unapologetically

Before delving into the depths of self-love on our journey of self-discovery, let's take a moment to reflect on a few simple yet profound questions: Do you genuinely like yourself? Honestly, Do I genuinely like the person I see in the mirror? Do I really like me? Do I see myself as worthy? Do I see myself as a good person despite what others may think of me? What are the things that make me happy about being just me?  Again, in this space and time, do I really like me?

If for any second of a moment you ponder or significantly pause in answering those questions and utterly struggle to identify things you genuinely like about yourself, then, my friend, we have work to do!

So, you may ask, why is she asking this question and what does this have to do with this journey of self-discovery and self-love? The reason being is that it is a question that is often overlooked amidst the clamor for self-improvement and acceptance from others. Often, we are quick to seek validation from external sources, yearning for approval and affection from those around us, all while neglecting our own sense of self-worth and value. As we search in quest for external validation, we often forget to turn inward and ask ourselves these fundamental questions.

In our journey to discovering our authentic selves unapologetically, it is quite common that we may struggle to genuinely like who we are-authentically. This struggle often stems from a lifetime of prioritizing the needs and expectations of others over our own, particularly those we hold closest to our hearts — people, places, and things. Often, we unconsciously internalize the belief that our worth is tied to their approval and validation, leading us to neglect our own needs and desires in favor of meeting their expectations.

As we navigate through life, this pattern of prioritizing external validation continues to influence our self-perception. From a young age, we're taught to conform to societal norms, meet the expectations of our families, and seek approval from others. From the earliest stages of development, we are conditioned by societal norms and expectations to seek approval and validation from external sources. Whether it's seeking praise from parents, validation from peers, or recognition from authority figures, our sense of self-worth becomes intricately tied to the opinions and judgments of others. Societal standards and expectations constantly bombard us, dictating how we should look, act, and think. Social media has most of us in a chokehold creating an invisible barrier which prevents us from embracing our authenticity. We subconsciously compare ourselves to snapshots of others' seemingly perfect lives, leading us to constantly measure our happiness which is often based on how many likes you receive from complete strangers. We may find ourselves caught in a relentless pursuit of validation through likes, comments, and followers. Retrospectively, we internalize these messages and compare ourselves to unrealistic standards, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Living in a world where individuals have curated online personas to project a certain image of success, happiness, and perfection, all in pursuit of external validation and approval from their peers and followers. Behind the facade lies a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy, as we constantly compare and measure our self-worth by the validation, we receive online. How bizarre is that- what an unrealistic way to live!

We often strive to meet unattainable ideals, believing that only by conforming to these standards can we be deemed worthy of love and acceptance. We learn to suppress our true desires and emotions in favor of fitting into predetermined roles and molds set by others. Oh, how draining – you must feel exhausted!

In my own life, I've experienced firsthand the detrimental effects of basing my worth on how others perceived me. I recall moments where I sought validation and approval from friends, family, and colleagues, constantly seeking reassurance that I was enough and worthy of love and acceptance. However, this external validation was fleeting and ephemeral, leaving me feeling empty and insecure in the long run.

Due to these toxic measures, our inner dialogue is significantly impacted compromising how we view ourselves. Consider the scenario of an individual in the workplace constantly seeking validation and approval from their superiors and colleagues to feel valued and competent. They may feel compelled to constantly seek reassurance and affirmation on their performance, measuring their self-worth solely based on praise and recognition from others. As a result, they may experience intense anxiety and self-doubt when faced with criticism or feedback, fearing that it will undermine their worth in the eyes of their colleagues.

Similarly, in the context of romantic relationships, individuals may find themselves seeking validation through their partner's affection and attention. They may go to great lengths to please their partner, sacrificing their own needs and desires in the process, all in the hopes of gaining validation and approval from their significant other. However, this reliance on external validation can create a dynamic of dependency and insecurity within the relationship, as both partners struggle to validate their worth and identity through each other.

Constantly seeking validation from external sources can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk, where we criticize ourselves and fixate on our perceived flaws and shortcomings, distorting the image of the person we see in the tainted mirror. This perpetual toxic cycle of searching for external validation leads us to neglect our own needs, desires, and inherent worth resulting in a confused indecisive, fearful mindset often dimming the person within. I can honestly attest to moments in which I based my own worth on how others perceived me, constantly seeking affirmation and approval to validate my existence. In my own life, I've experienced firsthand the detrimental effects of basing my worth on how others perceived me. I recall moments where I sought validation and approval from friends, family, and colleagues, constantly seeking reassurance that I was enough and worthy of love and acceptance. In those moments, I lost sight of my own inner compass, allowing the opinions and judgments of others to dictate my sense of being.

However, I soon realized that relying on external validation left me feeling empty and insecure in the end. This realization prompted me to embark on a journey of self-discovery, seeking validation from within rather than from external sources. It has not always been an easy journey; filled with challenges, setbacks, and moments of self-doubt, I grappled with the realization that true validation could only come from within. But amidst the struggles and uncertainties, I persevered, recognizing that true growth often arises from adversity. With a wealth of life lessons and clinical expertise and drawing from wisdom and practical knowledge, I am here to provide guidance and encouragement as we embrace life boldly, exploring every aspect of our existence and fearlessly pursuing our aspirations.

In this journey of self-discovery, it's essential to recognize and challenge these ingrained beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors. In the act of learning to prioritize our own needs and desires, the transformation of our thinking — a complete mindset reset must happen for us to fully embrace our authentic selves, unapologetically! This indefinitely means understanding the art of letting go of the need for external validation from people, places and things and learning to love and accept us as we are, flaws and all. Throughout this journey, we must break free from the constraints of societal expectations, personal perceptions from those who have tainted our vision of who we are and embracing our true essence with courage and compassion. Only then can we truly begin to like and love ourselves for who we are!

As we embark on this path of self-discovery, let us remember that it's not a linear journey- healing is not linear in any way!  In this moment, I would like you to see this process as continuous levels of growth and self-awareness. It is perfectly ok to fall off track and stumble along the way during this process but, if possible, I would like you to consider and imagine each obstacle as an opportunity to learn and to grow stronger. Take a moment to envision yourself standing tall, embracing your authentic self with unwavering confidence and self-assurance. Through the journey of introspection and self-discovery, navigating the complexities of self-acceptance and emerging victorious. Picture yourself proudly declaring that you genuinely like and appreciate the person you are becoming envisioning the radical change that will present itself from the depth of your inner soul.  With each step on this transformative journey, you'll shed layers of doubt and insecurity, paving the way for