The Keys to My Heart

By Melody Alcorn

Our hearts are fragile. Breakups are too common. Healing is painful.

Is there anyone we can trust with the keys to our hearts?

Inspired by personal experience and as a way to process her own breakups, Melody shares her own story of love and loss through a mixture of creative writing that details the depth of emotions surrounding heartbreak, personal narratives of her life, and practical ways to recover and heal from breakups.

With scripture interwoven throughout The Keys to My Heart with an overarching picture of Jesus being both the Healer and Protector of one’s broken heart, Melody will:

• Walk through what it looks like to choose to have Jesus as Lord and Savior and to surrender unfulfilled hopes and dreams to the Author of life.

• Speak of the importance of standards in dating, walking away from a destructive relationship, and beginning to date again.

• Detail the process for what is commonly known as a glow-up, approaching it from a different point of view with the focus being on growth in faith and character development.

• Debunk the lies one typically becomes exposed to throughout times of pain and replaces the fabrications with Scripture.

Processing along with you the vast range of emotions that come with heartbreak, she walks through the concepts of healing wounds from toxic love and releasing emotional baggage, loneliness and where to find the cure, the effects of anxiety and depression in a breakup, and choosing forgiveness of both people in a relationship. Melody shares vulnerable details of her own life before, during, and after her roughest breakup and aspires to reach you with relatable stories and provide encouragement for those with similar struggles.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 27, 2024
• ISBN: 9798891302297

Book preview

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The Keys to My Heart

Melody Alcorn

ISBN 979-8-89130-228-0 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-89130-229-7 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by Melody Alcorn

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

Goodbye Common Sense

Blindsided

Kiss and Make Up or Kiss Goodbye?

Press Closer to God

Addicted to Love

Web of Lies

Don't Look to the Left

I Forgive You

Learning to Walk Again

Shifting Seasons

Handing Over the Keys

About the Author

Introduction

The heart is a fragile thing. It's the easiest to break and the hardest to heal. In the blink of an eye, it can be shattered into a million pieces. Each shard has to be picked up and painstakingly reassembled.

She knew this to be true in theory but never thought it would apply to her. Even though she would say differently, she lived with an innocence and trust that genuinely knew no bounds. The guardrails were low and the rose-colored glasses she wore dark. There was no thought to the possibility of crushed hearts and broken trust. She never factored in the games that everyone played and nobody won. In her world, only happiness and honesty existed; she was unaware of the harsh reality of deception and manipulation.

From her point of view, her heart was safe and would never bear the scars of a love gone awry. She considered her faith to be strong and her identity secure, but she never saw the coming storm that would shake her to the core, prove wrong what she once believed of herself, and cast doubt on what she knew to be true of her Savior.

Within a short matter of time, life changed and then changed again. She scrambled to find her bearings, reestablish her lost identity, and fought to find once more the keys to her heart that she had carelessly handed over.

*****

I'm going to start this off with total transparency. I didn't want to write this book. Sure, I've always dreamed of being an author one day, but what I had in mind was a novel. Maybe a cheesy modern-day Christian romance or a page-turner suspense novel. Possibly historical fiction or a Western love story. This, a book on how to navigate heartbreak, was not in the cards. Life threw me for a loop, and here I am praying that this might help at least one person walking a similar road.

I've struggled with a lot of insecurity in writing this book because, honestly, I don't feel qualified to speak on dealing with breakups and heartaches. A couple of breakups with one being a short, albeit serious, relationship and a few failed talking stages doesn't seem to count as much experience, right? I've come to realize though that the number of relationships, or lack thereof, doesn't really contribute to the actual experience. You can meet someone that you feel like you've known for years, fall head over heels in a matter of weeks, and get your heart crushed within a few short months. The short time frame doesn't make the pain any less real, and it doesn't make your feelings invalid. It sure doesn't take away from the lessons learned.

Trust me, I've been there.

Besides that little insecurity, there was also the fact that I would have to be vulnerable, and for an introverted Enneagram 9 like me who suppresses her feelings, that's pretty terrifying. The Lord can work on the most stubborn, willful hearts though, and before I knew it, I was sitting in a coffee shop in Dallas, Texas, working on the beginnings of a book I had no clue how to write. This book and sharing what I've learned has weighed heavily on me, so much so that I couldn't just ignore it like I had planned. With the encouragement of some trusted people in my life and many sleepless nights that led to this, my dream is now becoming a reality. Just in a slightly different way than I originally thought.

My goal in writing this is to produce a book that I wish would've been available to me while I was stumbling about in the darkest season of my life. My prayer is that this encourages you to take steps to acknowledging, working through, and moving past whatever heartbreak you may have. While this is written from a breakup point of view, I believe some of this can be applied to any painful circumstance, struggle, or disappointment. I also want to acknowledge that this is in no way meant to take the place of any counseling or therapy or, more importantly, the Word of God.

My story may not be the same as yours and I may not know the kind of pain you have, but I do know that we have the same powerful, loving God who can rewrite any story and use it for His glory.

I pray that my story of heartbreak and healing brings hope to you. Through the pages of this book, I'll share some of the hardest moments I walked through and some of the most joyful times since, the lessons I've learned and the regrets I've had, and more importantly, Jesus's love that has become so much more tangible in recent months. And who knows? Maybe I'll throw in a little of the romance I've wanted to write about.

Goodbye Common Sense

It only took one look into his eyes for her to know she was in trouble. It was either going to turn into a relationship that lasted for life or crash and burn. Either way, she liked him too much and knew deep down that she would fall. Not wanting to tumble too fast or too hard, however, she was overly cautious for the first few weeks. She analyzed every word, every action, but all seemed well. There may have been a few potential red flags, but surely she was overreacting?

Each day of spending time with him loosened her resolve. She felt herself slipping with the passing of time, farther and farther, until the few worries she had in the beginning quieted. And then one day, her world slowed as she lost what little control she had of her descent into fully committing to and loving him.

Life had changed in the blink of an eye, and she had no qualms going along with it.

Green Lights

As far as dating, romance, and boyfriends go, I've never been your average girl by today's standards. I had talked to a handful of guys through my teen years but had never gone on a date and didn't really care to date for fun. Nobody I talked to during those years turned my head, and even going into my early twenties, I still hadn't met anyone that I was willing to give a chance. As pathetic as this may sound, I didn't go on a date until I was twenty-two, and let me tell you, it wasn't a great intro into dating. Whatever that was, it ended as fast as it started, and I went right back to trying to enjoy my single life.

At the time, I was working a stressful job, leaving for work early and coming home late, all the while trying to balance it with my personal life, family, and friends. Dating wasn't something I felt I was missing out on. I was just too exhausted and too introverted. My thought was, If God has someone for me, then He can send him to my job and I can meet him there or He can send him to one of the many people wanting so badly to set me up. Either way, I wasn't willing to go out looking for a boyfriend.

A few months after I turned twenty-three, however, I was settled into a new routine with a new job working from home. My chances of meeting someone at work went from highly probable to concerningly low. Let's face it: If a guy showed up on my doorstep wanting to date me, I would most likely call the police for trespassing. I had to accept the fact that I wasn't getting out at all, and if I ever wanted to meet someone, I was going to have to put myself out there (as an introvert, I can't tell you how much I hate that saying).

So I entered the world of online dating.

You may be in one of two camps of online dating. The first camp being you think it's completely normal and fun and all the single people should give it a shot because there are marriages that have come from it, but even if it doesn't end in marriage, it can't hurt. Or you may be in this camp: you hate it. Absolutely despise it. The latter was me, and I refused to sign up. Until I had to come to grips with this being maybe the only way for a selectively social person like myself to have a chance of meeting someone. So I gave it a shot. And guess what? To this day, I'm still not a big fan of online dating. I know a few people who have had success from it, and while someday I may consider attempting it again, at this point I'm neither encouraging or discouraging it. With that being said, please don't take my story as a sign to not sign up for online dating; my word of advice is to approach it with caution.

Now that's out of the way, back to my story…

I went on vacation with my cousin to Disney, and after offhandedly mentioning to her that I was considering online dating, we set up my profile on a dating website. It became more of a joke between us, so I went into it with zero expectations. You can imagine my surprise when a guy halfway across the country messaged me the same night, and I spent time in the long lines for roller coasters that weekend responding to his messages, leaving that vacation with the potential of a new relationship.

I talked to him for about a month, and things actually seemed promising for a little while. There was talk about him coming to visit me, but thankfully we didn't get to that point. I won't spend any more time talking about him because my story doesn't involve our relationship, but let's just say things didn't end well. I wasn't heartbroken at all, but I will admit to some disappointment. I thought us getting to know each other was going well, but it just wasn't meant to be for us. And I was completely okay with that.

After I broke things off with him, I decided to give the dating apps one more go. I signed up for a different app and made sure only guys within driving distance came through as potential matches. I had a few matches and started up conversations with some of them, quickly weeding out the ones where I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere serious (tip for the guys: those one-word responses aren't going to get you anywhere with a girl). Before I knew it, I was down to two guys. I cringe when I say that because I hated the thought of talking to more than one guy at once, even if it's a given on dating apps and even if it was casual; it was overwhelming for me. Both guys seemed great, but I was just waiting for one of them to make a move. Finally, one of them asked to exchange numbers and wanted to take me out, so I told the other guy that I had a date, we wished each other the best, and things ended well between us. You may be thinking, Why did she tell the second guy that she had a date? Valid question. Not only did the thought of continuing a conversation with a guy while I planned a date with another not sit well with me, I also found out that both guys lived in the same city. And they were coworkers, although they didn't know it and were in different departments. Yikes. That was an honest accident. Even though I didn't tell the second guy who my date was, I wanted to be as upfront as possible just in case our paths crossed later down the road. So I ended that and focused on the guy I did have a date with.

Because of our conflicting schedules, living two hours away from each other, and him getting sick, it was a few weeks before he and I were able to meet in person, so up to that point, our relationship was just through texting. Not even a phone call. It wasn't my smartest move, but because of the other failed talking stage with that first guy from a dating app, I didn't want to get too invested without having met in person. Our only social media connection was through Facebook because he didn't have an Instagram, and I refused to give him my Snapchat. I kept my wits about me in that area just in case he was one of those guys on Snapchat. Unfortunately, we all know what I'm talking about. Because neither of us were making a move to have more contact than texting, I had low expectations for our relationship going anywhere.

A few weeks passed, and I woke up the morning of our first date feeling queasy, halfway hoping I'd receive a text saying he still wasn't feeling well and needed to reschedule our date. All the doubts about what I was getting myself into came rushing to the surface, and I almost texted him to say that I needed to cancel because I wasn't feeling well. I turned on my phone and texted him to see if we were still on for that day, and a few minutes later with plans confirmed for a date with a man I'd never met before, much less talked to over the phone, I agonized over my makeup and hair and tried to pick clothes that would be comfortable for an athletic date but not make me look like a bum. Even though I changed my outfit a good ten times, I finished getting ready way before it was time for me to leave, so I just paced and panicked. Why was I doing this to myself?

Going into that first date, I had so many reservations and doubts. Not only was the lack of communication a red flag (on both our parts, really), I had also sworn I would absolutely never date someone with the career he had; too many stories I've heard and relationships I had personally seen not work left me jaded and fearful. But there I was, walking up to meet him and already thinking through an escape plan if the date turned south. It was settled. I would give it two hours to be polite, send my cousin the SOS text, and due to a family emergency, say my goodbyes to him and make my way home where I could ignore the dating world and lose myself in a good book.

Well, that didn't work.

My cousin stayed on the phone with me to calm my anxiety and keep me from driving away, but eventually I had to hang up when I saw my date walk to me from across the parking lot. I put my phone back in my pocket, wiped my sweaty hands down my leggings, and took a deep breath to fortify myself as he got closer. My anxiety rapidly became worse as thoughts raced in my mind.

Gosh, those profile pictures did not do him justice. This man is really hot.

He's way too good-looking; his personality must be terrible.

I need to get out of here. There's no way this is going to work.

I'm so nervous; I'm going to look like a fool because I won't be able to put together normal sentences.

All of this within the few seconds it took for him to get to where I was.

He was a gentleman and hesitated when he got to me as if he didn't know if he should give me a handshake or a hug (green check mark for him). So what did I do? I went in for a hug. Totally out of my norm for meeting strange men. Great start to keeping my head on straight, huh? We started talking, got our gear for the zipline course, and never stopped talking. I quickly realized I was wrong about my earlier thoughts. His personality wasn't terrible. Not even close. And, what a miracle, I was actually able to carry on a conversation.

It wasn't even five minutes into our date before those plans I had made to escape flew out the window. I had never felt so comfortable around someone I just met, and I knew, although I didn't want to admit it, that my world had just been changed. Those two hours quickly turned into over eight hours as we talked almost nonstop, and his long drive home and the night getting colder were the only factors that kept us from staying out later.

If you were to ask my cousin/best friend what has been the stupidest decision of my life, she will tell you about that date.