Mother's Day Is Always Canceled for Me: A Scholarly Approach Concerning Daughters Dealing With and Healing From Narcissistic Mothers

By L.A Reneé

*The long-awaited daughters of narcissistic mothers (NMs) book!*

Theoretical, critical, and academic

 

There will be no more dumbing down and devaluing the experiences of NM daughters.

 

There will be no more mention of the lovely and caring mother in a space intended for healing NM daughters.

 

Everyone, whether or not they have a narcissistic mother, should learn about them. You could save a child's life by becoming aware of and recognizing their characteristics and conduct.

 

Other books on narcissistic moms' daughters on the market are more self-help and psychologically focused, however this book is more scholarly, sociological, and takes into account the societal dynamics at work with the narcissistic mother. It incorporates some references to my own experiences with an NM because there have been little studies done on the subject by institutions of higher learning.

 

You will notice how many more studies on daughters and their NMs are needed.

 

Raw, unapologetic, & tells it like it is!

 

Topics and discussions covered in this book include:

 

• Why the focus is on Mother and daughter relationship

• Fathers and narcissistic mothers

• Ambivalence in "normal" motherhood vs NMs

• Feminism and narcissistic mothers
  Considering the history of your NM
  Assessment of often purported solutions
  The no-contact route
  Black daughters of narcissistic mothers
  and much more…

So, if you're tired ofthe same old story and want a new viewpoint and a deeper understanding of the NM than you currently have, stop playing and download to read now!

• Language: English
• Publisher: L.A Reneé
• Release date: Jan 17, 2023
• ISBN: 9798224491742

L.A Reneé

Hello . Some people like to know about the educational credentials of the author. I have a BA in English and a Master's in Interdisciplinary Studies. While others like to know about your school of hard knocks: I am a daughter and survivor of a narcissistic mother. You can call me LA Renee. Nice to meet ya! Everyone dreads living with a narcissistic person, but what if that person is your mother? What if you are a daughter of a narcissistic mother and she sees you as an extension of her own being wanting to control every move that you make? This can be dreadful and this was my life until I decided to make a change and go the no-contact route. Being a holder of a Masters in Interdisciplinary Studies with a Leadership Studies track, I have delved into the deep analysis of how it is important to be a leader, not to others but to one’s own self. That means taking control of your life whether through self-realization, education or enlightenment. The book has some references to my own experiences with an NM, as there are currently little to no studies done by institutions of higher education on the matter. It also includes a little bit of my self-leadership journey towards redeeming myself from a narcissist, and it would be a good read for anyone wishing to take back their life from a narcissist.

Book preview

Mother's Day Is Always Canceled for Me: A Scholarly Approach Concerning Daughters Dealing With and Healing From Narcissistic Mothers

by L-A Reneé

© Copyright L-A Reneé 2022 - All rights reserved.

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Table of Contents

1: Introduction

The child that didn’t cry

The purpose of this book

What is narcissism?

So what are narcissistic mothers?

2: What does motherhood and mothering mean?

How the terms motherhood and mothering  is used in this text

3: Why focus is on mothers and daughters

4: Ignoring types and examples of behaviors of narcissistic mothers

5: Self-sabotaging behavior of the daughter of narcissistic mothers and social institutions

Daughters of NM on welfare after self-sabotage

6: Assessment of Solutions: Therapy

7: Narcissistic mothers and Mother’s Day: Mother’s Day is for good mothers.

8: Assessment of solutions: Knowing the history of the mother

9: Sociology of narcissistic mothers

Crime and deviance

Feminism and narcissistic mothers

Ambivalence in normal motherhood and its place when confronted with narcissistic motherhood

10: Men, sons, fathers and narcissistic mothers

Men roles as dads

11: Black daughters of narcissistic mothers

Biracial daughters of white narcissistic mothers

12: Assessment of Solutions: Replacing the NM with personal self-love and nurture

13: The no-contact with the narcissistic mother route

Isolation

14: Killer-moms

Black children of killer white narcissistic mothers

Why killer-moms would have to be narcissistic or exhibit narcissistic traits

15: Conclusion

16: Sources

If you are a ♀ with a narcissistic mother,

here is a care package vs. gift for you:

Flat Box Package

50 I am affirmations for daughters of narcissistic mothers

P.S These affirmations take the attention off of your mother and instead focuses on you, therefore centering you; so get your booklet here now!

You are the truth from foot to brow. Now what else would you like to know. —Rumi

1: Introduction

The child that didn’t cry

Iused to hear the famous first five Jamaican dialect—patwa words to Koffee’s international mega reggae hit song, Toast and was annoyed at that phrase because I didn’t know what it meant, so I didn’t sing-along to it even though I enjoyed the song. The English translation of the first line and phrase is, In life you cannot cry. I would say I bawl/cry a lot and assume that Koffee doesn’t cry. But then I saw this interview with Koffee’s mother and she said that young-Koffee used to,  Cry, cry, cry, cry'' nonstop anytime her mother drops her off at the bus for school. Koffee’s mother recalled how her daughter’s crying broke her heart. It’s interesting because Koffee has this tough-tomboy girl persona, so I wasn’t expecting that she used to cry a lot. Then I suddenly remembered my father telling me that when I was going to kindergarten, all the other children except me were crying when their parents were dropping them off.  That I was grimacing and looking at them like what's wrong with them?" Now I’m the one singing the first line to Toast . Of course I was too young to remember all this as a child of age five. I could conclude that, compared to the other children, I simply knew why I was being sent to school why I didn’t cry. Yet I soon would bawl(cry) more when older than as a child. Therefore, the better or more sensible conclusion would be that kindergarten-aged children that don't cry when their mothers are present when dropping them off at school have narcissistic mothers. If they do cry, which is usually the majority, then they and their mother have a strong bond. That means their mother is of the nurturing, attention-giving type. So that would explain young-Koffee’s crying and that explains my lack thereof and being the only child not crying.

The purpose of this book

Narcissistic mothers (NM) were always represented in fairytales but were always portrayed as the stepmother instead, even before the term narcissistic mothers came about. We all know Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, not even those fairytales wanted to use the biological mother to symbolize chronically bad motherhood or guardianship for fear of going where no man has ever gone before. Taboo, essentially something that society refuses to face head on even though little children are facing it when they are getting psychologically abused by these narcissistic mothers (NM). These fairytales prefer to use the stepmother and get it over with because, well, she’s not the real mother, anyway. That way, they can avoid confronting the taboo of the mother treating her daughter badly if she’s replaced by the stepmother. Even in the scary movie, The Ring ,  the makers make it seem as if the daughter of what clearly was a narcissistic mother, would just go around killing people as a result of how badly her mother treated her. The Ring is an example of how not even a scary movie knows how to break the taboo and be honest about how mothers can be cruel to their children. If any creative work of art is to break a taboo, it would be a scary movie. But instead that movie is a telltale sign of how we are viewed after the fact of our horrific treatment at the hands of narcissistic mothers and also didn’t have any solutions that could’ve manifested itself in the form of a gratifying ending. The movie tells daughters of narcissistic mothers that that is how society views you and we don’t have a clue what to do about you. It says we like to use your experience to make scary movies. It also says simultaneously, too bad, it’s unfortunate that you are born from and raised with a mother like that but you’re on your own, there is nothing that society can do about that and implies that we are/ were supposed to suffer in silence.

Therefore the purpose of this book is to:

Put the literature on narcissistic mothers (NMs) in retrospective, helping to see what else needs to be done by social institutions and by scholars

Help daughters of narcissistic mothers as looking at your mother’s behavior as a mental illness or personality disorder helps one to not only not take her behavior personal anymore but to heal in the long run which would include whether to do no-contact, i.e., cut her off or good

Discuss solutions both internal (psychological), for e.g. yoga and meditation etc., and external (sociological) i.e. social welfare system, child welfare, etc

To enlighten, inspire and educate society on the existence of these mothers and how people with normal mothers can spot these traits and get children to safety; help people who’ve never had this type of mother understand people who’ve had these mothers, which would help the former to be effective in the healing process

Discuss how mothers that kill their children are more likely to be narcissistic than