When All You Have is Faith: My Journey to Becoming Dr. West

By Ashea S. West MD

When All You Have is Faith depicts a roller coaster ride of emotions as Ashea West navigates college, medical school, grief and financial hardship. It’s a story about her dream to become a doctor that started with just a little faith in God, no plan B and an empty bank account. At each roadblock, she watches as God shows her unmerited favor when she was about to give up and throw in the towel. Dr. West speaks about failures, doubts, successes and the other side of medicine that we don’t always get to see. Her aim is to challenge others not to be afraid of starting their own journeys. At the end of her book, there is a hidden journal for readers to record their own testimonies and experiences, in hopes that by sharing their story, others will come to know Christ better.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9798385001842

Ashea S. West MD

Dr. Ashea West is a Jamaican Christian author who has written for The Helping Hand in Bible Study: Seventh Day Baptist Adult/Youth Sabbath School Lessons (devotionals for her denomination), Surviving the Changes (her blog about her medical school journey - Asheaashe.wordpress.com) and Christian Today Australia (an online Christian magazine based in Australia). Her journey started in Jamaica then took her to New York, Grenada, back to New York and now she has settled in New Jersey to complete her residency training. She is a graduate of the City College of New York and St. George’s University School of medicine. Throughout the years she has shared at different speaking engagements in various churches about what God has been doing in her life. She has always been involved in the youth and young adult ministries at her local church in New York City and back home in Mandeville, Jamaica. Her testimony is truly one that reflects the bible verse in Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Book preview

WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS

Faith

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MY JOURNEY TO

BECOMING DR. WEST

Ashea S. West, MD

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Copyright © 2023 Ashea S. West, MD.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author

and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of

people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

All scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New

International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by

Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0183-5 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0184-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023912063

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/4/2023

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1   The Bank Teller

Chapter 2   The Missing Pages

Chapter 3   Is this Depression?

Chapter 4   Joy Colored with Sadness

Chapter 5   Defeat, Scholarship, and Frankie

Chapter 6   Michelle Obama and Supraventricular Tachycardia

Chapter 7   I am not a teacher

Chapter 8   Spice Island

Chapter 9   Summer Doubts and Fall Faith

Chapter 10   Jesus is that you?

Chapter 11   216; Ok God, I’m done now!

Chapter 12   Let the Record Show: You don’t belong

Chapter 13   Faith has friends

Chapter 14   I think I want to be a surgeon

Chapter 15   Only Four interviews?

Chapter 16   Giant Slayers

A Hidden Journal

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

About the Author

Endnotes

Introduction

You must be smart if you’re studying to be a doctor.

I’ve been afraid to share this story because it’s not the typical medical student story. I was not an A student in high school or college, and I didn’t get 9 ones in Caribbean Examination Council exams (CXC). I felt like I was just average. So, whenever I talk about the struggles and how I got through med school, the room gets quiet. Now that the room is quiet, let me tell you the story of an average girl who went on to do more than average things.

Imagine us sitting on a couch, or maybe I’m lying down, and you are listening to me relating to the decade of my life where my faith was the most tested and where I grew the most. There are happy moments, sad moments, and a little comedy mixed in between. It’s ultimately a journey of watching God work through my life, with hopes of you, the reader, being encouraged to share your testimonies too.

I had developed this need to prove myself and try to be perfect. I have no idea why or where this came from but when I went to medical school, I found people just like me. Everyone wanted to be perfect and if they weren’t, they would eliminate aspects of their story that were less than perfect. They would eliminate the parts of their lives that made them seem weaker. I was just like them. I didn’t want others to know I was struggling, I didn’t want them to know my financial status, and I especially didn’t want them to know that I was an average student. If they can only see the image I put forth, I will somehow be deemed worthy of being in the inner circle of soon-to-be physicians, who all seem to be perfect.

As my story unfolded and I grew in my faith, I realized that I couldn’t rely on my own strength. The more I struggled, the more I realized that others were also struggling silently. In the moments when I allowed myself to drop my guard with someone and share that I was struggling, we would bond for hours about our mutual struggles. But once we were out of that space, it was as if it never happened. We went back to our perfectly fabricated lives.

I was born in Jamaica to my wonderful parents Leon and Beverley West. I am the third of four children and the only one in my family that is a doctor. All throughout school, my teacher would tell my parents and I that they see a lot of potential in me and that I just need to work harder so that I can do better in my classes. My parents believed them, and I believed them; hence I believed that anything I put my mind to, I could do it. The issue with that is that with everything in life, you need a plan. It helps when you know how to start, the possible challenges that may be faced, and what the end results should be. I was riding on just potential.

It’s hard to let your guard down and let people know that you are just an average person when they expect you to be more than that. It’s hard standing with the group and feeling completely out of place. It’s hard when you question all your hard work because you feel like you don’t belong or like you don’t deserve success. It is hard feeling like an imposter because your story and your journey is different from the others. But not because it’s hard means it can’t be done. If we are honest with ourselves, all our stories are different, and we just eliminate the parts that aren’t favorable to the story. I don’t want to add to the collection of stories that pretend that the road to MD is a smooth and easy ride, or just join the chorus of saying it’s difficult but I made it. I saw the value in sharing all of my story in pieces as the journey went on, but now I’ve tried to put it all together in one place. Let’s go for a ride, and be prepared for the good, the bad and the testimony.

Chapter 1

THE BANK TELLER

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No one writes about ordinary people. This was the only line that I remember from the keynote speaker at my high school graduation in 2011. We had this dramatic entrance to our ceremony by walking in to Black and Yellow - it made sense because our gowns were black and yellow. I always loved graduation speeches, and I will never forget the guest speaker saying these words, No one writes about ordinary people. I had not thought about being the main character in anyone’s novel, until then. I always loved reading and writing short stories and after hearing that, I realized I was never going to be the protagonist because I was just ordinary. So much for a motivational graduation speech! Now I was being denied a dream I never knew I had. I was on a mission to see how I could not be ordinary, just in case someone wanted to write a book about me. Or I needed to be the first ordinary person that had a book written about them.

2011 was the year that this faith journey started. I was just finishing up the last year of high school and wanted to do something great with my life. My friends and I had applied to different colleges, both in Jamaica and in the United States. We all applied to the University of the West Indies (UWI) and University of Technology which were the two major colleges in Jamaica. If you want to do medicine, you go to UWI and complete their 6-year program right out of high school if you were smart enough to get in straight from high school. If not, you would have to do a preliminary year and hope to get into the medical program by your second year. I got rejected by Utech but got accepted to the UWI, but not in the medical tract. This meant that I would have to go the long route, hoping to get into medical school the next year. I really didn’t want to go to UWI though, I wanted a clean break. I wanted to get away from all the judgmental eyes that were hoping for me to fail.

I’m a pastor’s kid; growing up meant that I didn’t really get to live my life like others did. I needed to be unblemished in the sight of the congregation, which meant every outfit I wore, every conversation I had, every event I went to - I was reminded that the brethren may be watching. I wasn’t only living life for myself but also apparently for the entire church. Every decision I made may have an impact on the church and on my father and my mother as church leaders. I never felt like I had the freedom to just be me and figure me out. I wanted to get away from living life for everyone else. I wanted to be me and just me. So now, I needed to figure out how I was going to successfully convince my parents that I wanted to go to another country for college.

The details began to come together: I would apply for and get a scholarship to attend college in New York and then go straight to medical school after and somehow, it would all work out. That was my plan and because I had a plan it was definitely going to work. But then we went to the bank. And here begins the faith journey.

In order for me to study in the States, I needed to apply for a visa that required proof that I had enough money to pay for college. My father and I went to the bank to get a bank statement to submit to the school for their approval. At the bank we sat in those semi-uncomfortable chairs waiting for our number to be called so that our fate could be decided. My dad and I sat there not talking but talking, if you know what I mean. He would just ask random questions like ‘What else do we need after this?’ and ‘I wonder if we’ll get what we need today?’

Number 44 lit up on the screen and now it was our turn. As I walked over, I was still unsure of how this would all work out. Because the thing is, I did get into the University of the West Indies (UWI) in Jamaica, and it would have been easier to go to college in Jamaica than to move to a new country and try to start a life there. But I was determined to be anything but ordinary. My father handed over the bank book (yes that little book that had all the transactions you did, not like now with a debit card that you just swipe) and she started clicking away at her computer. She clicked and clicked and then she looked at us,

Why do you need the bank statement again?

I need it to apply for my F1 visa to study abroad.

Okay. And she went back to clicking. Which school?

City College of New York.

And you know you need to show them at least 1 year of tuition payment and a plan for the next three years, right?

Yes

Okay, so Mr. West I don’t know if you want me to still print the statement because you don’t have enough money for the 1st semester.

The thing is that each transaction at the bank would cost money and it would be a waste to spend that money if it was going to be pointless.

My dad looked at me and said, Umm, you sure you still want to go school in New York? Or you can just go to UWI.

I’m sure I said.

I looked at the bank teller and said to her, Don’t worry about how much funds are in the account, just print the statement. That’s all we need from you.

As she got up, we heard her laughing to herself. My eyes welled up with tears, but I remembered that I had prayed and was trusting God to lead no matter what others