Well, My Mom Says …: Stories of Persistence, Faith, and Action

By Clarence M. Lee Jr. MD

Based on conversations he had with his mothera single mom who raised her son to dream bigDr. Clarence Lees debut book, Well, My Mom Says , shares personal stories of his journey from the inner city to medical school.

Originally from Kansas City, Missouri, Dr. Lee walks the reader through moves to Atlanta, Memphis, San Antonio, and Philadelphia while sharing lessons learned along the way. In Well, My Mom Says , he delivers stories of triumph over trials through racial discrimination, failures in academics, divorce, and a near death experience at gunpoint. Each chapter focuses on a deep belief in positive psychology and teaches the reader to draw strength from their personal story during tough times.

As a Christian, Dr. Lee shares his faith as the cornerstone of every truth he discovered in his life. With persistence, faith, and action, Dr. Lee believes were all capable of living our dreams.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 16, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490835105

Clarence M. Lee Jr. MD

As a physician, speaker, entrepreneur, and CEO of CMLEEJR Co., Dr. Clarence Lee embodies the importance of faith and persistence in life. The first physician, college athlete, and air force flight surgeon in his family; Dr. Lee is dedicated to helping others remove perceived barriers in their lives. Dr. Lee has been featured in The Word, the Sacramento Business Journal, and others. He lives in California and loves spending time with his wife and daughter on the coast.

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Copyright © 2014 Clarence M. Lee Jr., MD.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-3509-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3508-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3510-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014907451

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/14/2014

Contents

Preface

The Fundamentals

Chapter 1   Uniqueness: You are special.

Chapter 2   Belief: You can do it.

Chapter 3   Naysayers and Disbelief: I don’t care what she said.

Chapter 4   Reacting: You are in control of your actions.

Chapter 5   Distractions: Stay focused. Don’t let anything distract you.

Chapter 6   Shame: Be proud of who you are and where you’ve come from.

Chapter 7   Purpose: God’s got a purpose for your life.

Basketball

Chapter 8   Appreciation: Give credit where credit is due.

Chapter 9   Collaboration: You can’t do this alone; you’ve gotta ask for help.

Chapter 10   Trust: Be patient; your time will come.

Chapter 11   Will: You have to do this for you.

Chapter 12   Hard Work: No one ever said this was going to be easy.

Chapter 13   Affirmations: Speak that thing into existence.

Chapter 14   Action: Believe. Move as if it already were.

Education

Chapter 15   Integrity: What will you stand for?

Chapter 16   Spirituality: Did you go to church this week?

Chapter 17   Graduation: You are loved and a child of God.

Chapter 18   Character: Don’t be fooled by money. It isn’t everything.

Chapter 19   Preparation: You’ve gotta study to show thyself approved.

Chapter 20   Perseverance: You are blessed and highly favored.

Life

Chapter 21   Faith: God will redeem the time.

Chapter 22   Humility: Sometimes God has to break you down to build you up.

Chapter 23   Leadership: You are a leader.

Chapter 24   Focus: Each decision must be aligned. Your life depends on it.

Chapter 25   Live to Give: Live your vision; He will provide the provision.

For you Ma …

Preface

Are you a real doctor? I’ve never seen a doctor that can dunk.

Yes, it’s true. There are physicians that can hoop! I’m a basketball enthusiast that just happens to be a doctor who played ball in college.

As I’ve navigated my way through life, I’ve run up against several similar disbelieving questions concerning my life. These questions are important because they’ve led me to write this book. In it you’ll find stories of overcoming odds that seemed unbeatable. That’s the story of my life—beating the odds with persistence, faith, and action.

The title Well, My Mom Says … originated as a comeback line for folks that would question my belief in myself. It’s kinda funny, but I blamed all my enthusiasm and ambition on my mother. A typical conversation would go something like this:

Why do you think you’re so special?

Well, my mom says …

And "Who told you you could do that?"

Well, my mom says …

And "Why are you so happy?"

Well, my mom says …

In the upcoming chapters, you’ll find several conversations that were, to say the least, life changing—conversations that lifted me up at times and conversations that set me straight when I was lost. My mother raised me by herself, for the most part, and as I saw her struggle as a single mom of two, her determination inspired me to go after my dreams too.

But why were these questions so important to me?

Every external barrier that presents itself in life has a mentality that goes with it. This mentality influences us to ask certain questions. In the environment I grew up in, people were always challenged for thinking outside of the norm. These questions led me to build up my mentality in order to handle the interrogation.

Challenges come, and the people with the strongest values and beliefs about themselves are the best equipped for victory. I hope these conversations lead you to look inside yourself and find the potential that was always there.

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My parents, me and my older sister, Monique

The Fundamentals

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Uniqueness

You are special.

The Story

Ma, I don’t understand why they treat me different! It doesn’t make any sense.

Don’t worry, Marcus. You’re going to be fine. You can’t expect everyone to treat you the same. You aren’t like everyone else. You’re special.

It was the first times I remember my mother telling me I was special. But why was I special? I always thought special treatment meant better treatment, but I realized in third grade the special treatment I was to deal with wasn’t something anyone wanted.

I learned about being special while being one of the only black kids at my school. As I was singled out, I wanted to understand why. I struggled with the idea that something as simple as my race could make me special, so I went to my mother for guidance.

It took me months to believe it. I was just a normal kid like everyone else, right? Eventually the truth set in. I was the only Clarence Marcus Lee Jr. in the world. When I got it, I held on to it.

Being Special

Believe it or not, being special is independent of who you’re around. As a child, I used comparisons to help me understand, but the truth is that we were created uniquely. Someone created me? Handcrafted me? I’m equipped like no one else? No one else has the same combination of attributes and traits? Yep, your hair, height, voice, fingerprints, DNA … they are all yours. It’s true—you’re kind of a big deal.

Why is this important? Because being special is where it all begins.

I started with You are special because as I’ve encountered people throughout life, I’ve gotten a similar response when I asked why they weren’t living their dreams. It went something like Well, who am I to want so much? You are special is enough. Before you go on to the next chapter, you must internalize it. No one else was given the same dreams and the same set of challenges. No one is just a number. No one is simply a statistic.

Wherever you may find yourself as you read this chapter, you took a unique path to get there. Your past, your present, and your future are all unique. As a kid, I moved around a lot. By the time I got to third grade, I had been to over four different schools in two states. The more I thought about it, the more I realized no one else had that experience. Only I had done that.

Take a moment to think about how you got to where you are now. Look around. Think about where you started the day. Think about the route you took in the car. Was anyone else there with you the entire time? Even in the bathroom and the shower? No one has had your exact walk.

Back to my story. I was a third grader that got the concept of being special. So what? It helped me move forward. I became an individual once I accepted I was special. I started to think for myself and didn’t form my thoughts based on those of others’. I allowed myself to dream my dreams. I didn’t look for approval from anyone else, because they weren’t me. It also helped me to see that everyone is unique; I learned to appreciate diversity.

I know these are a lot of lessons from one simple statement, but this had a profound effect on my life. It was my first major lesson, one that backed up every other lesson in my life.

Along with being special, each one of us has been given a special dream—a dream that’s unique to us and that we’re uniquely equipped to accomplish. In the same line of thought, if you understand you are special, you must understand that no one else can do what you do, like you do it.

By giving me the understanding that I was special, my mother also allowed me to let my brain form my own dreams and visions. Once you understand that your thought processes are unique, let your brain fly. Let your thoughts go. You can do what you want. Your vision is yours, and the world is yours. Take it and run with it. Now, this isn’t just a ticket to dream; it’s an understanding that you must follow these goals and aspirations. It’s your responsibility to the world and our Creator to do this work. Lastly, you owe it to yourself to be you and to do you.

Your Purpose, Your Mission

Now that you understand that you and your purpose are unique, it’s time to start the work toward accomplishment. One of the things that changed as I realized I was special is that I started to expect special things from myself. In all situations, since I realized I had something special to bring to the world, I expected special results. I always thought I would do well—I was someone special.

I caution anyone that thinks this is just a warm, fuzzy thing to say to children—or anyone for that matter—to make them feel good. Yes, hearing You are special makes everyone feel good. These are indeed powerful words. But getting a true understanding of this includes believing. It isn’t enough to have someone say that you’re special. You must take the concept, adapt it to your life, and start to move by faith in the simple truth.

If you’re special, why would you expect mediocrity and not something great? You wouldn’t. You expect greatness from a special person. And in this case that special person is you. Expect greatness from yourself. Believe you are special. This is step one of claiming your thoughts and dismissing anything you were told to the contrary.

Even though I started my early educational career receiving special treatment, I used the situation to help me grow. I didn’t completely understand what was going on, but it wasn’t pertinent that I understood at that time. But what I did understand was that I was special, a person that had a special purpose—a purpose set aside for me and no one else.

Although it was tough to go to school every day, I used it to grow. I believed in all my heart that my mother wouldn’t lie to me and that she had my best interests at heart. She somehow turned that tough time into a character-building challenge. It was a tough lesson to learn at that age, when you typically are most interested in your friends and how others view and treat you. I learned it was up to me to decide what I was worth.

The Comparison Trap

When you’re unique—which you are—there’s no need to compare yourself to others. Your life will take you down its own course; this course may be longer or shorter than your friends’ or family members’ courses. Sometimes when we look at everyone else’s path, we lose focus on our own. This often discourages us. Since we’re all external beings involved in other people’s lives, our understanding of their walks and paths isn’t always the complete story.

When we compare ourselves to others, we may assume others have it easier than we do. We may get discouraged as we watch others accomplish what we want faster than we do. We may see others and think their walks are harder than ours. No matter what your view is, I caution you against comparing. It takes the focus off you, your struggles, and your learning and puts it on something that has limited return when it comes to helping you move forward.

Now, I’m a big proponent of knowing your history, as I will explore later in this book, but remember, your walk isn’t like everyone else’s. You can learn valuable lessons from reading someone else’s story—you can learn how they did it. But don’t compare—it’s not your walk. We all will have our own story to tell, which will help someone in the future if we choose to share with others.

Comparing yourself should be used only in an enriching context,