How to Listen So Men will Talk: 4 Steps to Get Men Talking About Their Mental Health

By Tom Chapman

In the USA suicide is the nations 10th-leading cause of death, in 2019 white males accounted for 69% of suicide deaths, these shocking figures have made us all wake up to the fact we need to encourage men to talk about their feelings. For some, the stigma and taboo around mental health make it a difficult subject to speak about or 'admit' to due to shame of being seen to be weak, especially in men.

What can you do about it? What steps can you take, that could make a real difference to the men around you - and point them toward the right help? Tom Chapman is the founder of mental health charity the Lions Barber Collective (LBC), set up to raise awareness for the prevention of suicide. This book uses the LBC's established training approach, to gives you the tools you need to play a supportive role and listen effectively. This effective Four Pillars approach was created with the help of psychiatrists and mental health professionals and teaches you to:

• RECOGNISE the signs that someone may need some help or may be suffering with their mental health
• ASK the right questions to get them to open up.
• LISTEN with empathy and without judgement.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trigger Publishing
• Release date: Apr 19, 2022
• ISBN: 9781837962679

Tom Chapman

Tom Chapman is an award-winning barber, author, public speaker, global ambassador and international educator. In 2015 he founded the Lions Barber Collective, an international group of barbers who have undergone training in how to recognise symptoms of mental ill health in clients. Tom is trained in ASIST (suicide intervention), Mental Health First Aid and SafeTalk. He has received a Points of Light award for his outstanding volunteer work and is regularly featured in the national and international press, including BBC, Channel 4, FOX News (USA) Virgin Radio and TalkSport.

Book preview

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UNDERSTANDING MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH

Before we can begin to meaningfully change how we talk to the men in our lives about mental health, we first have to really understand what we’re talking about.

You may feel that the statement, Men struggle to discuss mental health more than women is too sweeping a generalization – but there is evidence to support it. You may be able to think of many of your close male friends or relatives who don’t appear to struggle at all. But I’m sure you can also think of many others who would be reluctant to have that conversation and hardly ever show their vulnerable side.

So, before we look at the practical steps you can take to help the men in your life, let’s look first at the problem itself.

WHAT IS MENTAL HEALTH?

In order to address something properly, you have to understand it fully. You can’t fix a car if you’ve never looked under the bonnet, and you couldn’t write an essay on a book you’ve never read. So let’s first answer a really basic question: what is mental health?

The best way to think about mental health is to think of it exactly how you’d think about physical health. Just as physical health ranges from a slight sniffle or a headache, to more serious problems such as heart attacks, cancer or strokes, our mental health is the same. Sometimes you just feel a little drained, let down or fed up, and that can be minor and temporary. Or you may feel a deeper, longer sense of darkness or despair. Let’s face it, the global COVID-19 pandemic that began in 2020 confirmed that we all suffer from mental health issues of one kind or another – whether they are associated with loss, illness, lockdown, home schooling, being furloughed or working on the frontline. Life is