Talking to Strangers: 3-in-1 Guide to Master Personal Networking, Conversation Starters & How to Talk to Anyone

By Lawrence Finnegan

Talking to Strangers - 3 Manuscripts in 1 Book, Including: Small Talk, Conversation Skills and Social Skills.

 

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SMALL TALK:

7 Easy Steps to Master First Impressions, Talking to Strangers, Personal Networking & Social Anxiety.

 

YOU'LL LEARN:

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Lawrence Finnegan
• Release date: Jul 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088224885

Book preview

Talking to Strangers

3 Manuscripts in 1 Book, Including: Small Talk, Conversation Skills and Social Skills

Lawrence Finnegan

More by Lawrence Finnegan

Discover all books from the Communication Skills Series by Lawrence Finnegan at:

bit.ly/lawrence-finnegan

Book 1: Body Language

Book 2: Assertiveness

Book 3: Conversation Skills

Book 4: Persuasion

Book 5: Make People Laugh

Book 6: Small Talk

Book 7: Social Skills

Book 8: Email Etiquette

Themed book bundles available at discounted prices:

bit.ly/lawrence-finnegan

Copyright

© Copyright by Lawrence Finnegan. All rights reserved.

This document is geared towards providing exact and reliable information in regard to the topic and issue covered. The publication is sold with the idea that the publisher is not required to render accounting, officially permitted, or otherwise, qualified services. If advice is necessary, legal or professional, a practiced individual in the profession should be ordered.

From a Declaration of Principles which was accepted and approved equally by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations.

In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher. All rights reserved.

The information provided herein is stated to be truthful and consistent, in that any liability, in terms of inattention or otherwise, by any usage or abuse of any policies, processes, or directions contained within is the solitary and utter responsibility of the recipient reader. Under no circumstances will any legal responsibility or blame be held against the publisher for any reparation, damages, or monetary loss due to the information herein, either directly or indirectly.

Respective authors own all copyrights not held by the publisher.

The information herein is offered for informational purposes solely, and is universal as so. The presentation of the information is without contract or any type of guaranteed assurance.

The trademarks that are used are without any consent, and the publication of the trademark is without permission or backing by the trademark owner. All trademarks and brands within this book are for clarifying purposes only and are the owned by the owners themselves, not affiliated with this document.

Table of Contents

Talking to Strangers

More by Lawrence Finnegan

Copyright

Table of Contents

Book 1: Small Talk

Table of Contents

Book 2: Conversation Skills

Table of Contents

Book 3: Social Skills

Table of Contents

More by Lawrence Finnegan

Book 1: Small Talk

7 Easy Steps to Master First Impressions, Talking to Strangers, Personal Networking & Social Anxiety

Lawrence Finnegan

Table of Contents

Talking to Strangers

More by Lawrence Finnegan

Copyright

Table of Contents

Book 1: Small Talk

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Step 1 - You Have to Loosen Up

Be Approachable

Introductions

Remember Names

Beyond the Bar

Location, Location, Location

Chapter 2: Step 2 - Observe Banter Basics

Open-Ended Questions

Draw the Person Out; Ask Them about Themselves

Read the Room

Let It Go

Research

Chatty Cathy and Talkative Ted

Push Through

Nobody Thinks about You the Way You Think About You

Chapter 3: Step 3 - Actively Listen

Pay Attention

Remember Names

Non-verbal Communication

American English Has Tonal Components

Eye-Contact, Posture, and Feedback

Slow Down

No, Really, Slow Down

Chapter 4: Step 4 - Keep Them Laughing

Intentional Versus Conversational Laughter

Science of Laughter

Ha Ha Handy

Practice

One Rule

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Chapter 5:  Step 5 - Embrace the Fail

Foot-In-Mouth Disease

More Fun with Science

Pain and Embarrassment

It Is Not a Contest

...But Maybe It Sometimes Is a Little Bit?

Own It

No, You’re Right!

Chapter 6: Step 6 - Learn How to Talk to Personality Types

Personality Tests Are Wrong

Introvert/Extrovert

Emotional/Practical

Pop/Fringe

Creative/Passive

Cross a Threshold

Be That Guy/Girl If You Have To

Chapter 7: Step 7 - Memorize A Few Basics

Openers

Middle

Break Away

Improvisation

Conclusion

Book 2: Conversation Skills

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Step 1 - Engagement

Be Approachable

Setting

Smile

Empathy

Kindness

Mirroring

Composure

Chapter 2: Step 2 - Active Listening

Eye Contact

Let Them Talk

Body Language

Touch is Touchy

Back and Forth

Summarize

Chapter 3: Step 3 - Small Talk

Opinions

Open-Ended Questions

Processing or Problem-Solving?

Cognitive Bias

Conversation Piece

Interest Groups

Chapter 4: Step 4 - Know Your Audience

Locality

Cold Reads

Analytics and Data

One Of Us!

Monitor Feedback

Chapter 5: Step 5 - Reflecting & Difficult Conversations

Update and Adjust

Nobody Thinks About You the Way You Think About You

Feedback

Self-Reflection

Don’t Overthink It

Difficult Discussions

Chapter 6: Step 6 - Practice Alone

Multimedia

Limits and Dangers

Chapter 7: Step 7 - Educate and Enrich Yourself

Talk!

It’s Not What You Know; It’s Who You Know

Seriously, Just Go Up and Say 'Hi.'

Beyond Books

Conclusion

Book 3: Social Skills

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Step 1 - Work on You

Balance and Reciprocity

Basic Self Care

Drives and Motivations

Acquaintance, Friend or Lover

Date Yourself

Chapter 2: Step 2 - Understand Them

There Is No THEM

What Do You Stand For?

Demographics Vs. Individuals

Why Are They Here?

Follow Your Bliss

Scenes, Haunts & Social Locale

Beyond the Bar

Express Yourself

Chapter 3: Step 3 - Make Small Talk Big

Just Do It

Ice Breaker

Keep It Going

Break Away

Chapter 4: Step 4 - Make New Friends

Take a Chance on Me

Just Friendship

There Is No Friend Zone

Hello, I Must Be Going

When to Call

Know No

Be a Friend

Help or Hinder?

Chapter 5: Step 5 - Keep Friends

Get In Touch

Shake the Family Tree

Besties

Make New Friends but Keep the Old

Forged In Fire or Bonded Over Time

Quick Tips

Be a Friend

Chapter 6: Step 6 - Go Deep

Observe, Consider and Decide

Run Toward Danger

Deconstruction

Complaining

Philosophy, Religion, and Spirituality

Existential Dread

Enrich, Explore and Enliven

Break It Down

Chapter 7: Step 7 - Build Strong Relationships

Go, See and Do

Take a Back Seat

Acceptance

Space and Boundaries

Accountability

If They Hit You, They Do Not Love You

Beyond Self Care: Self-Help

Nurture Your Nature

Conclusion

More by Lawrence Finnegan

Introduction

Welcome to Small Talk. Chitchat. Hobnob. Mingle and yakkity-yak. The words we use for small talk tend toward the big, and it’s easy to think that is for the massive impact such a seemingly minor thing can have.

Whether you are a wallflower tired of not being engaged or a silver-tongued raconteur looking to improve your A-game, you have come to the right place. There's no great mystery behind Chatty Kathy or Talkative Ted. Charisma and candor, wit, and insight are all yours for the learning. All you have to do is open your mouth and let the words tumble out. This guide would be a leaflet if it were indeed that easy, but there is surprising complexity at play in even small conversations. Join me now as we take a deep dive into the diverse world of superficial conversation.

Superficial has, rightfully, a negative connotation. We need complex, insightful answers, not trite platitudes. On the other hand, first impressions are undeniably crucial, and there is a lot of meaningful information you can encode in only a few words. Encoding is the social anthropology word for information we pass through non-verbal and symbolic channels. Learning how to identify and adjust our messaging in areas most folks never even think about will give you a leg up. As we take a close look at seemingly idle discourse, we discover that, just like your skin is the largest organ of your body, surface chatter compromises most of our talking.

Let's learn to speak the unspoken, shine light into otherwise dark corners of our behavior and take a meaningful look at what we shall see is not meaningless chatter.

Let’s get started!

Chapter 1: Step 1 - You Have to Loosen Up

The first thing you have to do is relax. I don't mean stress, tension, and worry, though you certainly have to check those too. If you are going to get the most out of small talk, you have to loosen your filter. The safe topics of the past are modern-day minefields, and many of the previous generations' no-fly zones are no longer the conversational ice they used to be. At the very least, you should feel free to make connections, state your point of view and accept the diverse range of your fellow humans, too.

Beware of being too loose, however. Some of us are over-sharers, and in our case, the advice is not to lighten up but tighten up and zip it. Nobody likes it when one person sucks all the air out of the conversation or dumps a bunch of emotional baggage in your lap first thing. Loosen up can mean not carrying the stress and burden of your aggravations into polite conversation. Yes, you want to appear relaxed, but you also want to adopt a casual attitude.

Be Approachable

Appear to be someone with whom it might be fun to talk. Attractiveness is a lot less about physical beauty, clothes, makeup, and hair than most people think. Physical beauty is not as crucial to a magnetic personality as we have been led to believe. You can be dressed to kill and still come off as a dead fish unless you know how to entertain someone's attention once you have it. Your disparate education levels, class, or social background won't matter if you can capture someone's attention and keep it.

Unfold your arms, keep your hands out of your pockets but be casual. What to do with your hands is widespread anxiety, and while the general rule of thumb is to use them to gesture and express, you can only do that so much before it becomes distracting. Unless you are Italian, then you can use your hands all the time. I would say, haha, but I know too many Italians who enthusiastically embrace that trait to say it's humor! As such, as long as you make regular gesticulation a part of your demeanor, nobody will think twice about it.

Keep Your Phone Out of Your Hands!

Not allowing yourself to be distracted cannot be stressed enough. At the very least, excuse yourself to answer a pressing text or call. Do not take the when in Rome approach and begin twiddling your device if you see others doing it, either. Be the change you want to see in the world and engage! Teams of specialists design those things to be as addictive as possible. You are going through a guide about making small talk, for Pete's sake.

Add special dings and rings for clients, lovers, and family, or otherwise set up custom alerts so you don't miss something but otherwise set it to silent.

Grooming

You don’t need to be 100% all the time. High Maintenance has become a negative, and hours in front of the mirror every day is a little much. But you can’t stink or wear rages, either.

The absolute need to wear a suit has all but evaporated in all but business and formal settings, so as long as your clothes are clean and reasonably appropriate, all you really need to wear to be approachable is a smile.

Do not over-apply if you like scents, for the love of all that is