Changed Forever

By Tammy ORourke

EVEN WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW THE OUTCOME, CHOOSING TO TRUST THE LORD CHANGES EVERYTHING BEYOND WHAT YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE.

This is an unbelievable story. It's my story... wait a minute, it can't be my story... there is no possible way it can be mine...

It's God's story.

Do you live within the concrete walls built t

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Sep 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887386881

Tammy ORourke

Tammy ORourke lived with hidden walls that surrounded her heart that she built for her protection and survival. These walls were from past childhood experiences and poor choices she made as a teenager. Tammy thought she had moved on, but after nearly forty years, God had some work to do in her.God did open heart surgery on Tammy, using her younger brother to start her healing through a simple question about their childhood. It was revealed that something was missing, and Tammy pursued this feeling. She decided to pursue the Lord, and He showed that her heart was broken in ways she never knew. He led her to follow His plan instead of her own. He taught Tammy to trust in Him, and those walls crumbled. In doing so, God changed everything in Tammy's life.

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Changed Forever

Tammy ORourke

Trilogy Christian Publishers

Tustin, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Changed Forever

Copyright © 2023 by Tammy ORourke

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Trilogy Christian Publishing

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, Ca 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN#: 979-8-88738-687-4

ISBN#: 979-8-88738-688-1 (ebook)

Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Final Word

Preface

There I was at fourteen years old, laying on a table in labor and delivery with my aunt by my side, not really understanding what I was about to go through. The nurse gave me a shot in my back, and soon I delivered a baby boy. The nurse came over to me and asked, Do you want to hold your baby? Immediately, tears streamed down my face, and I thought, if I held him, no one would get him out of my arms. The nurse left and soon came back and asked if I would like to name him. I could not speak, tears still streaming. I shook my head no. My other love, his father, was sent to live with his grandparents in New York. I would have named him Daniel after his father, but I gave his new mother this privilege.

Chapter 1

Almost 40 years later…

It was a beautiful summer day, and I was cleaning our rental house to get it ready to rent again. My husband and I had many rentals, and I cleaned them when someone moved out. My phone rang; it was my youngest brother, Todd. Being five years older than him, throughout our younger years, I felt more like a mother than a sister. Todd is a godly man, and our relationship as brother and sister, with what God was doing in our lives, had grown. I respected and dearly loved my brother. In my eyes, he was an overcomer just like me. We were both doing well with great careers, beautiful families, and loving spouses. More than anything, we both loved the Lord!

For some reason that day, he asked me questions about our upbringing. Our mother was a single mother who raised four children with the help of our grandparents. Our mother and father had divorced when I was about six years old. Our father left and had no part in our lives. I knew the answers to Todd’s questions right away.

After I answered, Todd said, There are things in my life, and after all this time, I just don’t understand why I do them. I left when I was sixteen. He told me things I did not know that he had endured after I left.

After we hung up, I began weeping. I packed up and went home because I was unable to finish cleaning. I was devastated. As a child, I had been his protector. I knew that he would not have gone through those awful things if I had been there, but I left him. Why did I leave? Why was I only thinking about myself? It was my job to watch over him and protect him. I began praying, Oh Lord, why am I so upset and distraught over this? It’s been almost forty years. We have overcome. We are past all this stuff. Why does this break my heart so badly?

The next day, my church hosted healing school. Because of my phone call with Todd, I knew I needed help. I needed answers. At the end of the class, I explained my situation to the pastor. When I left, I felt no relief. I was still full of grief and had no answers I could understand or see. I was looking for answers that I could not find.

My husband, Dan, was out of town working, so I was home alone. On the afternoon of the third day of weeping and praying, I was sitting at my kitchen table. I heard the Lord say, Listen, Tammy, you were only a child yourself. You could not have possibly protected him like you think. Because you have lived your life in fear, protecting everyone you love, your children and yourself, you have become so controlling, thinking you are strong, expecting perfection of yourself and your children so they don’t get hurt. I did not create you to live this way. This is who I am. I am your protector. I am your guide in this life. You can trust Me.

I saw myself exactly as