Build Your Legacy

By Nick Sales

"Build Your Legacy" is not your typical personal development book. While most self-help books only focus on one thing you can do to find happiness, this book broadens the horizon, offering a comprehensive exploration of the top 100 strategies to attain real happiness. The ideas and principles shared in this book will help you to focus on achievi

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nick Sales
• Release date: Jun 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088174432

Book preview

Build Your Legacy

The Top 100 Things You Can Do to Find Real Happiness

By: Nick Sales

Copyright © 2023 by Nick Sales

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief questions embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher at [e-mail]

DISCLAIMER

The content provided in this book is designed to provide helpful information on the subjects discussed. This book is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any medical condition. The numbers in this book are theoretical and are to be used for illustrative purposes only. The publisher and the author are not responsible for any actions you take or do not take as a result of reading this book, and are not liable for any damages or negative consequences from action or inaction to any person reading or following the information in this book. References are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute an endorsement of any websites or other sources. Readers should also be aware that the websites listed in this book may change or become obsolete.

Contents

About the Author

Introduction

1   Realize Your Potential

2   Learn to Control Your Attention from Distractions

3   Find Things to Give Up

4   Have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media

5   Set and Keep a Schedule

6   Do Meal Planning

7   Create a To-Do List

8   Maintain a Clean House

9   Set Goals- Part 1. The S.M.A.R.T. Method

10   Set Goals- Part 2: Shoot Big

11   Set Goals- Part 3: Tips and Tricks for Accomplishing Your Goals

12   Take Advantage of Momentum

13   Get Rid of Bad Habits

14   Create Good Habits

15   Embrace Pain and Opposition

16   Develop and Master Skills and Talents

17   Develop an Amazing Morning Routine

18   Practice Daily Affirmations

19   Create Firm Boundaries

20   Serve Others

21   You Are the Sum of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With

22   Practice Meditation and Connect with a Higher Power

23   Realize that All Aspects of Health Rise and Fall Together

24   Keep a Journal

25   Do Something Every Week That Challenges You

26   Instead of Seeking Out Happiness, Look for Purpose

27   Continue to Learn Throughout Your Life

28   Realize that Your Words Are Self-Fulfilling Prophesies

29   Find Accountability Partners

30   Have Close Relationships

31   Keep a Personal Set of Commandments

32   Spend Time Outdoors

33   Find a Community to Connect With

34   Pursue Progression

35   Create

36   Love Yourself and Be Confident in Who You Are

37   Have Impeccable Communication and Realistic Expectations

38   Discover the Importance of Emotion and Logic

39   Learn to be Happy, Even During Hard Times

40   Find the Perfect Job

41   Have a Sense of Humor

42   Mindset and Manifestation

43   Develop Emotional Maturity

44   Plan for Your Future Financially

45   Go on Plenty of Adventures

46   Learn How to Problem Solve

47   Find Mentors

48   Inspire Others

49   Develop Integrity and Honesty

50   Love Others Unconditionally

51   Listen to Inspiring Music

52   Find Hobbies

53   Practice Delayed Gratification

54   Practice Minimalism

55   Get the Right Amount of Sleep

56   Don’t Be a People Pleaser

57   Increase Your Capacity for Discomfort

58   Have Balance in Every Aspect of Your Life

59   Take Calculated Risks

60   Get Rid of Worry and Don’t Stress About the Small Things

61   Learn How to Say No

62   Listen More than You Speak

63   Show Respect for the Opinions of Others

64   Take Full Accountability for Your Life

65   Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others

66   Limit Complaining

67   Embrace Change

68   Replace Limiting Beliefs with New Beliefs

69   Embrace Weirdness

70   Focus on the Present

71   Accept Support from Others

72   Create Rules and Systems for Your Life

73   Go All In

74   Remember

75   Be Humble and Teachable

76   Maintain a Healthy Relationship with Money

77   Create Your Own Dream Lifestyle

78   Don’t Procrastinate

79   Have Multiple Streams of Income

80   Practice Stress Management Techniques

81   Prepare

82   Take Breaks When Needed

83   Let Go of Perfectionism

84   Celebrate Other’s Successes

85   Give 8-Second Hugs

86   Be Vulnerable with Others

87   Have Children

88   Replace Bad with Good

89   Don’t Turn Grief Into Unnecessary Suffering

90   Exercise

91   Taste the Bitter to Know the Sweet

92   Seek a Higher Power

93   Wake Up and Laugh

94   Think Before You Speak

95   Have a Childlike Sense of Wonder

96   Get Rid of Entitlement

97   Decide What You Actually Will and Will Not Care About

98   Abolish Your God Complex

99   Collect Data

100 Get Married and Have a Family

101 Build Your Legacy

Acknowledgments

Appendix

References

About the Author:

​Nick Sales is an Entrepreneur, Public Speaker, Business and Life Coach, Musician, Investor, and Self-Made Millionaire. He owns several businesses, including a video production company where he films and edits videos for some of the top YouTubers and musicians in the world. His videos have gained over 1 billion views across YouTube. He also has two of his own YouTube channels, one that focuses on filmmaking tutorials, personal development, and personal finance, and another one featuring his music and the songs he has recorded. He has traveled all over the US and Canada as a speaker for a non-profit organization called Save the Kids where he speaks to teenagers and parents about the harmful effects of social media, video games, and screen time, and he helps them to focus on building their own Legacy by developing their skills, talents, and attributes to make a difference and do good in the world. Nick is happily married to his wife Addysen and currently lives in Utah.

Introduction:

​Happiness, health, and success. Arguably the three things most wanted by all humans for the entirety of our existence. For generations, we’ve looked to weight loss pills, get-rich-quick schemes, and even magical witch doctors to try and make our lives happy. But after reading hundreds of books about business, personal development, and productivity, I think I’ve found what I believe to be the answer on how to achieve all three. It is not fast, and it is not easy. But by applying the principles in this book, I have been able to build a successful video production company and become a traveling public speaker and I have never felt more happy, healthy, and successful.

​So what is this book? It’s a compilation of some of the best ideas from the books I’ve read and the successful people I’ve talked to, mixed with some of my own personal ideas. I feel like most personal development books only focus on one thing- morning routines or habits or the compound effect, etc. This book is not that. This book will not focus on only one thing that you can do, it focuses on several. In fact, each chapter focuses on a new principle that can add to your happiness. The reason I wrote this book is because each personal development book I’ve read only discusses one area of personal development, and after years and years I found myself wondering "Where is the book that has all the secrets of happiness?" After I was unable to find one, I decided to write one. 

​This book is called Build Your Legacy. I think of my legacy less as the money that I want to leave behind for my children and more about the good I want to do in the world, and I hope that you will have a similar definition in mind as you read through this book. As you read, I hope you constantly will be asking yourself, What is the good I want to do in the world? How do I want to inspire and impact others? How can I spread joy to the world starting with the joy I create in myself?

​So many people think If I just do this one thing, I’ll be happy. However, what I’ve noticed with happiness is that there is no secret recipe for doing just one thing to find it. But doing 100 very specific and individual things and having those build on top of each other and work together? That’s when true joy will start to flow in your life. That’s why each chapter will focus on a very specific thing that you can do to add to your arsenal of things to do to find real happiness.

​I intentionally wrote this book in a way that you can come back and read it often. One good idea is to read 1-5 chapters every day and focus on what you feel you can improve the most on that day from what you read in those chapters. If you only read one chapter per day, you could read this book 3 times a year! The first time you read it, you’ll get some good stuff. But the more you come back to it and really hammer these principles into your head and mold them as part of your lifestyle, that’s when you will start to see lasting change happen.

​Please keep in mind that all of the information in the world will do nothing for you if not applied, so make sure to take action as you read this book and apply what is being taught to your life. The biggest thing keeping you from growth isn’t information, it’s action. If you read the whole book and say Well, that was nice. And then put it on your bookshelf, never come back to it, and don’t apply it to your life, then the time you are spending reading this book will be in vain. There will be multiple times in this book when I will ask you to do something (for example, in chapter 13 I will ask you to plug your bad habits that you want to get rid of into a specific formula), but unfortunately, most people will just continue reading- and by doing so, will miss the whole point and most likely will not see lasting change. Then they will continue to complain for years and years about their bad habits because they were too lazy to do something as simple as plugging their bad habit into a formula. Please don’t be this person.

​This book will be full of harsh truths and I want to start with this one: no one cares about your problems as much as you do. Why do I say this? Because no one can fix your problems but you. Others can support, listen and advise... but you are the one who must act. Your life is your own journey, and while it’s okay to seek and accept help, ultimately you are in the driver’s seat. This book can offer insights, suggestions, and strategies, but without your determination, commitment, and willingness to put in the effort, these words will merely remain words.

​This book will focus on achieving the maximum amount of happiness that you can have while here on earth. There is no such thing as perfect happiness, because life happens to all of us. We all have struggles, trials, and hardships and we all have moments of pain and suffering. But as I’ve written this book I’ve realized that there is so much unnecessary pain and suffering that people are just choosing to drag around with them. There is necessary sadness and unnecessary sadness, and most people are lugging an immense weight of unnecessary sadness wherever they go, so this book was designed to help you to get rid of every unnecessary thing that is holding you back from being the happiest person you can be. You can’t be happy if you don’t want to do the things that lead to happiness, and this book includes the top 100 of those things.

​Now, a disclaimer. There are too many marginalized groups and unique situations out there to name, but I’ll try to name a few. Some of us have Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Bipolar, Blindness, Autism, OCD, Schizophrenia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s Disease, Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, Borderline Personality Disorder, or Insomnia. If you struggle with one or more of these or even something that wasn’t mentioned, my heart goes out to you. There may be things in this book that may not apply to your specific situation, but I encourage you to be creative and see how these principles can be applied to your life. See if they can be adjusted or modified to help your specific situation and condition. For example, in chapter 55 we discuss the importance of getting the right amount of sleep, but if you have Insomnia you may need to look for additional resources beyond this book to help with that. In chapter 39 we talk about learning how to be happy, even during hard times, but if you have been diagnosed with severe Depression, you will probably have to modify that a bit to fit your specific condition. There is no way I could write a full personal development book where every chapter of the book could apply to every single condition and unique situation out there, but just know, that if you struggle with one or more of these conditions, I love you. I may not completely understand what you’re going through, but my intent in writing this book is purely to help people, so please try not to take offense if something in this book doesn’t cater to your exact situation. Also, keep in mind that this book is not meant to replace any medical or professional advice you may be receiving. If you have a medical or mental health condition, please continue to seek appropriate treatment and follow the advice of your healthcare provider. The principles in this book are meant to complement and enhance your life, not to replace any necessary medical or professional interventions.

​Regardless of what unique differences set you apart from others, if you feel like you have bad habits that you want to get rid of, healthy habits that you want to start implementing in your life, if you feel like you want to increase your relationships with those around you, if you want to know the tips, tricks, and secrets of how to create a schedule that is powerful and balanced, this book is for you. We will cover topics like how to maximize the time you have to be the most productive and efficient, how to get rid of habits that are weighing you down (physically or figuratively), chapters on being healthy, building relationships, mindset, controlling emotions, retiring early with millions of dollars and a slew of other neat ideas that will help you in your life. We’re going to skip over all the fluff and get to the nitty-gritty- the important topics that, if implemented correctly, will help you to find more happiness, health, and success and will blast your life into a place that you’ve never thought possible to go before.

I’m so excited to see where this book can take you. 

Chapter 1: Realize Your Potential

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

​To start off, you need to know something, and it could be the very thing that fuels your progress. Let me begin with a story, a story that my dad told me countless times as I grew up, and a story that I now share with everyone when I speak to audiences across the world. As you read through this story, allow it to be the thing that your mind comes back to as you read through each chapter in this book.

​There once was a farmer who was out walking on a path by his farm one day, and as he was walking along the path he looked up ahead and saw a little baby bird. As he got closer, he realized that it wasn’t just any bird, but that it was a little baby eagle. The farmer looked around for its mother, but saw nothing. I can’t just leave him here! The farmer thought.Well, I don’t know how to raise eagles, but I do know how to raise chickens. So he picked up the baby eagle and took him back to his farm and put him in the chicken coop with the chickens. A few months went by, and one day, the farmer was out walking by the chicken coop and as he looked in, he saw the funniest thing. He saw that the eagle was now fully grown, but he realized that the eagle thought he was a chicken! He walked like the chickens and ate like the chickens, and the farmer laughed to himself and thought Oh my goodness, what are we going to do? This eagle thinks he’s a chicken! So as he thought about it a little more, an idea came to him. The farmer decided to take the eagle and put him in his truck, then drove a few miles to a nearby cliff. The farmer then got out of his truck, took the eagle to the edge of the cliff… and just threw him off. The eagle, as you can imagine, started freaking out. He twisted and turned as he was falling towards his imminent death, but then out of pure instinct, he ruffled his feathers, spread his wings, and realized that he could fly. From that day forward, the eagle was always flying up above the other chickens.

​Now, what is the moral of this story? We live in a world full of chickens, so to say. We live in a world where most people will wake up, go to work, eat a lot of junk food, go home and turn on the TV, flip through the channels like a mindless zombie, scroll aimlessly through social media, and just whither away as the years go by. It’s what most people do, and it’s a decent, normal life. Most people are chickens, so why should we not just join them in the chicken lifestyle, right? The moral of this story is that you are the eaglein this story. You, my friend, have a value to bring to the world that nobody else can bring. You have an incredible worth and the potential to change the world. You are here for a reason and the world needs you. You have so much more to bring to the world than you realize, and you are so much more than what you post about on social media or what you wear, what you drive, what your job is, and how others perceive you. There is a life full of excitement ahead of you, and you are capable of so many amazing things. I believe that as long as your heart is still beating, you have a purpose that involves much more than the life that society has planned for you. You may have been taught growing up to conform to the standards of society, keep quiet and do as you’re told, get a degree, find a job that you tolerate at best, and pursue things in life that bring you temporary pleasure but not lasting satisfaction. You may have been conditioned to blend in, to complain like everyone else but not actually do anything to solve your problems, argue with others on social media, pursue a life of laziness that inevitably will lead to serious health problems, live vicariously through others who are living their dream lives on Instagram, fall in love with TV or movie characters who are living a life full of adventure and excitement and then just sit back and watch them as you sit on your couch, munching through a whole bag of Doritos as you are lulled away by the lies you’ve been told your whole life that you will never amount to anything special.

​I lived in the country of Colombia for two years. I quickly fell in love with the Colombian people, but after a while, I saw something there that irritated me to no end. As I walked along the streets, I would see dads- fathers, who would work 2-3 hours a day, then they would come home from work, take off their shirt, sit on their porch, pop open a beer, and just watch people walk past. That’s how they would spend their life, all day, every day. It was just their culture- they lived in a society full of chickens. And as I walked down the street, I just wanted to scream at them, What are you doing!? You have so much more potential than this!! You have the potential to bless your families, grow your businesses and be the amazing fathers that you were meant to be! They thought they were chickens, and this belief led them astray for the rest of their lives.

​So, for you. The reader. The wonderful, amazing person reading this book. Don’t be a chicken. Don’t conform to the lifestyles you see around you. Both you and I know that there is something more for you- that you have an incredible potential, and that you can live a life full of happiness and success. The moment you forget your potential is the moment when you lose your drive, your ambition, and your motivation. As you implement the tools and strategies found in this book into your life, keep your potential in the back of your mind, refer to it often, and don’t ever forget it.

​No matter how your life has turned out so far, it doesn’t take away your intrinsic value. You are important, even when you don’t feel important. It doesn’t matter what your competition looks like, it doesn’t matter how far you have to go to get to where you want to be. It doesn’t matter how your society is or the way you were raised. You are the eagle in this story. I am rooting for you and cheering you on. I am on your team. You may read things in this book that may take you out of your comfort zone, that may make you feel like you’re being thrown off a cliff, so to say. But just think about what would have happened if the farmer never would have thrown the eagle off of the cliff. He probably never would have learned how to fly. So if something I say in this book makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s okay. I only do it because I see greatness in you- no matter where you come from, what you may have done, where you’re at in life, or what you feel like may be holding you back, I am with you. And you truly are destined for greatness as long as you believe you are.

Chapter 2: Learn to Control Your Attention from Distractions

"Starve your distractions, feed your focus."

-Unknown

​The principle in this chapter becomes more and more true as time goes on. As technology increases, so do our opportunities to get distracted. There are so many things pleading for our time. The goal of social media (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc.) is to get you to stay on their platforms for as long as they can. These platforms are designed and engineered to keep users engaged for as long as possible. The goal of Netflix is to make sure you keep watching Netflix. Haven’t you noticed how at the end of each episode, there is a major cliffhanger that makes you want to watch another episode, and another and another until you’ve finished all the seasons? Many of you have an email account that just screams for your attention with its 37,800 unread emails. There’s always a shiny new thing trying to grab your attention. And let’s be honest, this is making it so that most of us have the attention span of a goldfish. With so many things competing for our attention, it’s safe to say that the most important skill you can have is to learn to control your attention from distractions. It really is the most important skill you can have. In previous times, we have needed to focus to get things done. But in today’s age, we need laser-like focus in order to get things done. According to Gloria Mark, who studies digital distraction at the University of California, it takes an average of about 25 minutes to return to the original task after being distracted.¹ In other words, checking Facebook for 30 seconds doesn’t turn out to be just 30 seconds. It takes your brain 25 minutes and 30 seconds to get back on track. Gloria also says, Our research has shown that attention distraction can lead to higher stress, a bad mood, and lower productivity.²

​Let’s give an example. When you sleep, you need to have a long period of deep sleep, or you won’t wake up refreshed. Take mothers and fathers of newborns for example. They may get a full 8 hours of sleep, but if their baby wakes them up 5 times during the night, they wake up in the morning feeling exhausted. Similarly, we need to have periods of deep thinking and deep work throughout the day, or we will not be nearly as productive.

​Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle, or it will starve to death. The moral of the story is that it doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle, when the sun comes up, you’d better be running. Like the gazelle, we are chased by the distractions of social media, email notifications, endless streaming content, and more. Like the lion, we must chase our goals and tasks diligently, or risk not achieving anything meaningful. If the gazelle or the lion ends up getting distracted for too long, it could be to their detriment. Each day, we must wake up ready to focus, to outrun the distractions begging for our attention. If we do not, we risk being overwhelmed by the distractions and failing to achieve our goals.

​So, what’s the solution to control your attention from distractions? I’ve found that the easiest way is to just get rid of the distraction. Get rid of your notifications and close your Facebook tab. Schedule a certain time during the day when you’ll get on social media. For me, I get on social media for 5 minutes in the morning, two 5-minute sessions in the afternoon, and 5 minutes at night. During the time that I’m working, I have my phone out of sight (because out of sight, out of mind), and if I get a call it comes through my computer. If it looks like it’s important enough, I take it. If not, I decline the call and keep working until I can make the time to call or text them back. That way I can focus during the day on the things I need to focus on without worrying about being distracted.

​Focus on only the thing that you are working on right now and put everything else on the back burner. Have a dedicated workspace that is clean, comfortable, and free from potential distractions. Set boundaries with people around you. If you work from home, create an environment that allows you to have uninterrupted focus by letting your spouse and your kids know that when you are working, you are not to be interrupted unless it’s extremely important. A lot of times we believe that we don’t have enough time in the day when in reality, we just don’t have enough focus. If you can minimize and get rid of your distractions (I’m talking about actually doing it instead of just reading about it), you will find that your ability to have laser-like focus and deep thinking throughout the day will blow you away, and you’ll be able to get more done than you had ever thought possible.

Chapter 3: Find Things to Give Up

The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.

-Steve Maraboli

​In the last chapter, we talked about getting rid of distractions, and in this chapter, we’ll talk about how good it is to give things up and cleanse your life of unnecessary things. Sometimes we think that the more we can do in a day, the better. But it’s actually the opposite. The more things we can give up in a day, the better. This frees up our time to be productive and efficient, to do healthy activities, get the most out of our lives, and to build our legacy instead of conforming to the way others live.

​To start off, I’m going to give you a list of some of the things that I have either never done or tried, or things I have given up and how giving up those things has blessed my life. I have never had alcohol, drugs, coffee, or tea. What have I avoided by doing this? Potential addiction, weight gain, and the hundreds or thousands of dollars that I would have spent by using them. Now, what have I missed out on by never trying these things? Nothing. I haven’t missed out on anything by trying certain things that others have to have to get them through their day. I have remained healthy and addiction free, and I have used the money that I would have spent on those things on other things that have made my life better. Something else I have given up is watching the news. I know people who spend hours every day watching the news, reading newspapers, listening to news radios, etc. And what benefit does it give them? Maybe the ability to argue with someone on Facebook. Unless there is news that directly affects myself and my family and puts us in imminent danger, I don’t watch or listen to it. Some people may think that’s absurd, but it gives me so many hours every day to use productively. I understand that the biggest impact that will be made in my life won’t come from Congress or the White House- it will come from how I decide to take control of my life and create my own destiny. Another thing I have done is unsubscribe from emails that I don’t want to get. Every time I get an email that I don’t want, I immediately open it and hit the unsubscribe button, saving me from hundreds or thousands of emails that I would have had to open in the future. Giving up these things really hasn’t made me miss out on much. The same thing could be said with people who have given up soda, caffeine, alcohol, smoking, excessive screen time, fast food, being lazy, etc. Have they really missed out on anything extraordinary by giving these things up? Probably not. But would you think that they have gained much more than have given up? I would argue that they most likely have.

​So, what are some things that you can reduce, decrease or give up in your life that will allow you to get your time back? I know people who have completely given up social media, playing video games, gossiping, unnecessary errands, unimportant phone calls or meetings, certain social events, watching TV, commuting to and from work (by figuring out how to work from home), unnecessary housework and the list goes on. The best option is to not even try unhealthy things in the first place! By minimizing, cutting out, or reducing things in your life, you get time back, which is by far the most valuable thing you can have. In addition to getting your time back, most of the things you give up will also allow you to have more money to invest and put towards the things that will actually matter in your life like experiences, health, and relationships.

​Instead of looking at how many things you can add to your life, try to find out all the unnecessary or redundant things that can be taken away. As you allow yourself to give up unimportant things each day, you will learn to enjoy the simple pleasures of life like savoring your meals, taking the time to appreciate nature, and connecting more deeply with those around you. I’m sure you can agree that giving something up can be hard, really hard. But I promise that getting rid of the unhealthy things in your life (and I mean actually creating a list of those things and getting rid of them instead of just reading about it), will bring you an abundance of time to get things done, and you will be happier, healthier, and experience a greater sense of freedom.

Chapter 4: Have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media

The more time you spend on social media, the more likely you are to feel lonely and isolated. As a result, people are becoming lonelier even though human beings need to have strong connections to be happy and healthy.

-Johann Hari

​Being the owner of a video production company, I have had the opportunity to work with some of the top YouTubers, Musicians, Instagrammers, and Social Media Influencers in the world. This has brought a lot of blessings as I’ve seen the good that social media can do, but I have also seen how social media can absolutely destroy lives if not used properly. This is something that has had such an impact on the people I work with, that I haven’t been able to stay silent about it. Because of that I now go around to schools around the US and Canada and talk to kids, teenagers, and parents about the dangers of social media. This chapter will be the condensed version of some of the things I talk about, and the scary things that I’ve seen with social media that if not taken care of and maintained in a healthy way, will destroy your life.

Now, we need to get straight with the facts.

Fact #1: The creators of social media have engineered it to be extremely addictive. Most of them won’t even let their own kids have smartphones, iPads, or social media because they know how addicting it is. Social media has been shown to be just as addictive as hard drugs³, and there are three things that create that addiction:

It feels good to get likes, and every time we post something that gets likes, we get a dopamine rush. Dopamine is the feel-good chemical in the brain and this creates a cycle of addiction where we post something, get likes, receive a dopamine rush, want to post something else, get more likes, more dopamine, etc.

Social media use increases our F.O.M.O. or Fear of Missing Out. We are constantly wanting to see what our friends and family are up to, what’s going on in the world, what are favorite creators are doing with their lives, etc.

Social media algorithms are designed to be as addictive as possible. This is done by recognizing what kind of content we engage with, and then feeding us more of that content, even if it is more dangerous or harmful than what we originally searched for. So if you like funny cat videos, the algorithm will recognize that and feed you more funny cat videos. If you start searching out political videos, the algorithm will recognize that and feed you more political videos that are super entertaining but that don’t show any empathy or understanding for the other side, making you feel more angry or polarized towards a certain group of people. This can also create an echo chamber where you’re mainly seeing content that reinforces your existing beliefs and interests. Showing an interest in fitness can spiral into exposure to content promoting excessive exercise, unrealistic body images, and harmful practices often associated with eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia. Showing an interest in beauty and fashion can lead to exposure to unrealistic beauty standards and promote harmful practices like excessive cosmetic surgery or the use of dangerous beauty products.

Fact #2: Most of the stuff you see on social media isn’t a complete and accurate representation of somebody’s life. Usually, when someone famous posts a picture on social media, you see the picture that they post, but you don’t see the hundred photos that they took before that because they weren’t good enough to make the cut, or how the picture looked before it was edited to perfection. When I go out and film a YouTube video, only about 3% of what I film actually makes it into the final edit. I see so many teenagers and even adults with anxiety because it appears that all their friends are living the perfect life with the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend and the perfect house that’s always clean and they’re always on vacation, etc. But that is a lie. It’s fake. It’s not real. Social media is just a highlight reel of someone’s life, and it’s not even that. It’s a glorified highlight reel that is edited to appear to be better than it actually is. You need to realize that the people you are following on social media are just people. They have struggles, bad habits and addictions, financial issues, they get in fights with their family members, and they probably aren’t always eating healthy. Nobody is posting their failures.

Fact #3: Social media and excessive screen time can contribute to higher levels of anxiety and depression, expose you to sexting and online predators who can abuse you or have you trafficked for sex, as well as scammers who have come up with innumerable amounts of ways to get your money, cyberbullying, unhealthy comparison, increased aggression, sleep deprivation, increased difficulty to communicate and connect with others face to face, increase your likelihood to self-harm and have suicidal tendencies, and expose you to immense amounts of pornography.

​When I speak with people like our grandparents- older generations, I hear time and time again the regrets they have about not investing more time into what truly mattered in their lives. They wish they could go back and do the things they were passionate about, enjoy more moments with their loved ones, and create stories they’d never forget. Wouldn’t it be kind of funny if you were on your deathbed and with your family gathered around, you took your daughter by the hand, and with a tear rolling down your cheek you said Man, I really wish I spent more time on Instagram.

​Have you ever thought about what it is going to be like at your funeral? Do you think anyone is going to say a single word about the kind of shoes or phone you had? With your family and friends gathered around celebrating your life, will anyone talk about how many Instagram followers you had? No, they’ll talk about the person you were and the stories and adventures you shared. They’ll talk about the times you proved you were a good friend and the times you were there when they needed you most. They’ll speak about how you made them feel and how you impacted or inspired them. Their stories will be about why they loved you, not your stuff, not your follower count, not your posts. 

​Another danger I see with social media is that it destroys creativity. Instead of taking advantage of the creativity of someone else to be entertained, we can learn to entertain ourselves with our own creativity! If we’re on social media or playing video games all the time,