Perfectly Imperfect!: A Journey of Healing and Breaking Generational Trauma

By K. P. Summers

Are you often angry for no reason? Do you struggle to find contentment and happiness? These are the questions that author K. P. Summers had to ask herself to begin her healing journey. Through therapy, prayer, and research, she was able to unlock the reasons for her anger and unhappiness. She wrote this book to create a resource for other Black women to uncover their unhealed trauma. She hopes her story helps other women work towards healing and live a mentally healthy and happy life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 17, 2023
• ISBN: 9781667887012

Book preview

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to my grandparents

and parents, especially my paternal grandfather and

my maternal grandmother. Both of them had a

major and positive impact on my life. Love you all.

Perfectly Imperfect!

Copyright © 2023 K.P. Summers. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-66788-700-5 (Print)

ISBN 978-1-66788-701-2 (eBook)

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted

in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other

electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of

the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews

and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Emotional Neglect

Self-Esteem

Misunderstood

Hiding Behind Things

Love for Your Man

The Outburst

Counseling a Student

Feeling Free

References

Introduction

As I embark on this very controversial topic, I know some people will not agree or want to hear this message. I’m doing this out of love for my people, and I want us all, men and women, to heal from the trauma that has burdened us. This message will not resonate with everyone. If you grew up not troubled with generational trauma, then God bless you. That is one less issue you must deal with as an African-American in America. Some of us grew up in trauma, without realizing it, because we thought what we were experiencing was normal. These traumas are common in a lot of families, but it looks normal when you aren’t healed.

This brings me to a sermon by a world-renowned pastor. He went on a rant about African-American women being mean and said that African Americans are raising women to act like men. Stop bragging about how much you don’t need me and wonder why I shy away, says the Pastor. He talked about how Black women aren’t applauded for their femininity. Instead, according to the adjectives he used, they are applauded for how tough, rough, nasty, mean, aggressive, hateful, and possessive we are, because women boast about the things that they don’t need a man for. According to this pastor, Black women are low-key emasculating men and not realizing it. I would say this is behavior they may have witnessed growing up. The reason I say this is because we are all clean slates when we come into this world. We are influenced by behaviors we see and hear, and also by how we are treated when we are growing up, which then leads to us forming certain thoughts and behaviors that contribute to how we do things and handle situations.

In the pastor’s rant, I felt he didn’t take into consideration why African-American women are burdened with this label in a lot of instances and why African-American women react the way they do in various situations. I believe that this behavior is due to unhealed trauma. I felt he left this key component out of his message.

Let’s be real. A lot of men in our community are suffering from unhealed trauma as well, but I will keep my focus on women. Now, I say a lot of women have unhealed trauma and don’t realize it because I was one of them.

Due to various situations happening in my life and feeling unsatisfied in my career, I had a restless feeling in me nudging me to do some self- work. I had also come out of a depression due to a bad breakup. The reasons for trauma are