It's Not WHAT Things You See, It's HOW You See Things!

By Allen Daugherty

It’s Not What Things You See, It’s How You See Things deals with many of the issues that are plaguing people in every walk of like. These things may not seem to be as destructive as the pandemic or natural disasters, but I guarantee they are extremely damaging to those involved. Suicide plagues the United States at a clip of over forty-eight thousand a year. Many of those suicides are due to how people look at themselves. It is estimated that every sixty-two minutes, someone dies of an eating disorder. How many of these deaths are also caused by self-image issues?

And looking at all the murders and crimes that take place, it is very easy to see that many have a depraved view of human life. Imagine shooting an automatic rifle into a crowd of innocent men, women, children, and yes, infants.

Racial tension has never been worse. Many choose to be a part of the problem instead of the solution. People of all races should be working together to solve other problems instead of fighting and creating a huge one.

The truth is, many of these things are not caused by what things we see but how we see things. By the time you finish this book, your eyes will be opened quite as to why things are the way they are and, if we are all willing to change, how we can see things differently to bring about the change that we so desperately need.

This book is dedicated to our children and grandchildren that must inherit the world that we leave them. Let’s leave them a good one.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 29, 2022
• ISBN: 9781662468520

Book preview

Chapter 1

How Do You See Yourself?

I want you to think about this word: comparison. Comparison can be a healthy, motivating factor, but it can also cause low self-esteem and depression. Just as an example—I have been working out in a gym. (Now, this is very hypothetical. If you saw me, you would know I haven’t been in a gym for a while.) Anyhow, I have been working out in a gym for a few months. My body is shaping up nicely and looks pretty good. Guess who walks in? A newbie. He is way overweight and totally out of shape. Human nature kicks in, and I compare myself with this guy and feel pretty good about myself. I flex those muscles a bit and stick those pecs out like a rooster walking past the henhouse.

Then of all things, another guy walks in looking like he could lift the whole gym. Muscles stacked on top of muscles, washboard abs, and a neck bigger than my waist. So now how is the comparison going? I shimmy over to the side making sure I didn’t get into the big guy’s way. Can I hold your towel while you work out? Ha, nah, I wouldn’t go that far, but you know how this feels. My superiority complex converted into an inferiority complex. Now, here is the question: Did I change? The answer is no, but what I compared myself to was different.

Let’s go a step further. After running into the big guy, I now have two options. Option 1: I shower, go home, plop down on the couch, grab a bag of chips, and say, I’ll never be like that guy. I have been working out for three whole months and am nowhere near where he is. No use going to the gym anymore.

Or you could go with option 2: Wow, that guy was buff. I bet he has been working out his whole life. I may never look like that, but I bet if I keep it up, I can get better than I am right now.

See the difference? Same guy, same comparison, different attitude, and I guarantee, different results. Option 2 makes the comparative differences a motivating factor to press on. When you do this, you get even better, and that fuels even more motivation. It’s a never-ending cycle of success. Option 1 merely gives you an excuse to quit and get down on yourself. The worse you feel, the less you do; and soon, you are in even worse shape. It’s a never-ending cycle of defeat. Remember the title of the book? (Be honest. Did you have to look for the name?) It’s not the things you see, but how you see things. How do you see the comparison in the example? Was it a motivator to press on or an excuse to quit trying?

Let’s continue talking about looks for a minute, and as we do, remember this very important fact: One huge key to happiness is knowing that there is a difference between the things that we can control and the things that we cannot control. I hate using myself as an example, but here we go. I am old. Well, I can’t control that. (Beats the alternative.) I am bald. It occurred naturally—and quite quickly I might add, but it was not under my control. My brother is only one and a half years younger than I am and has a full head of hair. Now, I could get plugs and transplants, but I would rather spend the money on my grandkids’ education and fishing bait.

I am a bit overweight. It occurred naturally—and quite quickly I might add, but it was…hold your horses. I almost made a huge mistake. I can classify some aspects of my appearance as uncontrollable, but this isn’t one of them. I eat more than I should, I snack more than I should, and I exercise less than I should, so abracadabra, I am overweight. Here is a truth that can really help: work on the things that you can control, and you will find it easier to accept the things you can’t control.

While we are talking about being overweight, let’s follow the path a bit further. Starting point: I am overweight. Goal: I want to lose twenty pounds over the next ten months. I won’t be skinny, but comfortable. So if I can slowly take a bit of weight off each month and hit my goal in ten months and keep it off, I would be happy with the results. What do you think? I heard someone say (I have really good hearing) you can take it off faster than that with the Starve ’em Out diet or the I Get Dizzy When I Stand Up diet.

Then others are saying, If you can take twenty pounds off, then you can take thirty off. Herein lies the reason we have so many people on crash diets and developing conditions like bulimia and anorexia nervosa. They want to become like all the skinny beauties on TV and do it now. The goal is not realistic because of the amount of weight and the time frame. My goal does not take off as much, and it won’t happen as quickly. But wait a minute, I am not comparing myself to the perfect-looking people on TV. I am comparing where I am now with where I want to be. Please take this to heart. Young people, especially young women, are dying because they are trying to mimic a look that they see on TV and in magazines.

Let me add just one more thing. Okay, maybe two more things on this. One: most of those sleek beauties have personal dietitians, cooks, and trainers. They often use medications and other things to help them reach that desired weight. Look up some articles on the price some of those women have paid to stay a size minus 2. Two: they look the way they do to entertain and perform. You are here to live a wonderful life and touch the lives of those around you in a way that only you can. There is no need to look like the Hollywood crowd. Be yourself.

Back to looks. I said be yourself, but there is nothing wrong with trying to stay in shape a bit. It’s healthier, makes you feel better, and helps with your self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with having clean, white teeth, well-kept hair (if you still have some), and neat, clean clothes. You don’t have to dress up in designer clothes that cost hundreds of dollars. But to make you feel better, make sure they look nice and fit well. I guess what I am saying is, be the best you can be with the things that you can control.

Let’s talk a bit about makeup. As a man, there is a lot of things that I do not understand about women and truthfully, gave up trying. (I am sure they say the same thing about us men, right ladies?) I also said that I would seldom give my personal opinions in this book, so I will refrain here as well. I do think that many of you women are much better looking than you think you are. You may add a little color or eye-lining to accent your looks and still look like you. What I really wonder is, why do girls start so young, and why do some women put so much on? Is more really better? I am not trying to offend anyone; I am just asking.

You know the answer to both of those questions, don’t you? Comparing! Those young girls are modeling themselves after the Hollywood crowd. Most women that put tons of make up on are really just trying to get one step closer to that perfect look, and I hate to say it, but all of us that are a little older want to look a little younger.

We are so vain, aren’t we? Most of us men do not look like Mr. Universe. Did you ever notice that men that are very muscular seem to only be able to find really small, tight shirts? Someone once told me that if you got it, you should show it. I am not so sure that only refers to the outer appearance. Ever see people working in the soup kitchen, see folks handing out blankets