From Pieces to Peace

By Regina Barley

I had an aunt who had dementia. If you have ever taken care of anyone with dementia, you know that they lose touch with reality. My aunt had a habit of doing the opposite of everything we asked her to do. Her stubbornness could really work my patience. Just when I thought she had pushed me to my limit and I didn’t know how much more I could take, she would look at me out of the blue and say, “Everything’s all right.” Since her passing, I have learned to take comfort in these words. She usually spoke them in the midst of what seemed to me like pure chaos. Yet she was able to find some semblance of tranquility. From Pieces to Peace describes my journey to figuring out for myself that no matter how chaotic things around me may seem, everything is truly, always all right.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685262471

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From Pieces to Peace

Regina Barley

ISBN 978-1-68526-246-4 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68526-247-1 (Digital)

Copyright © 2022 Regina Barley

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Childhood Blues

I Graduated…What Now?

Finding Myself

What Was I Thinking?

Full Circle

Back to School I Go!

Childhood Dream Manifested

Home, Sweet Home

What Just Happened?

Here I Go Again!

Moving On

You Say What?

The Journey

The Aftermath

Pandemic Life

Moving Forward

Let Go, and Let God

Preface

This book has been a thought in the back of my mind for years. I have put off the thought of writing it for so long because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Being a middle child, my opinions and views on life and my past may be a little different. Nevertheless, they are my opinions and my views, and they are what have shaped me into the person I am today. I challenge you, as you read, to not spend too much time in judgment of what I have to share. I mean no harm or disrespect to anyone. This is my recollection of my journey and my life. I am so grateful for every obstacle and every victory that I’ve experienced in my fifty years of life. I have been blessed to be able to grow stronger through it all, and I am hoping that my story will be able to help encourage someone else. Others may not have seen things the way that I saw them, and that’s okay. If I hadn’t felt the way I felt, I wouldn’t have responded the way that I did. Therefore, the same level of growth would not have transpired. So whether you agree with my perception of the journey or not, focus on the growth and lessons learned. Spending too much time in judgment may cause you to miss the blessing in it all!

With that being said, to everyone who has ever encouraged me to write, Thank you! Your support, in part, made this possible. And to my daddy who is also a writer but never took the leap of faith, This one’s for you! To God be the glory!

Chapter 1

Childhood Blues

I was an unhappy child…so much so that I’ve never wanted to have kids. I had eczema, so I never felt pretty. I’ve always been a little different, so I never felt accepted. I was the middle child, so I never felt loved. It seemed that the more I tried to fit in, the more I felt left out. I think I was a little suicidal sometimes. If it had not been for the love of my paternal grandmother, I don’t know where I would be today.

Growing up in a religious family was somewhat difficult for me. I believed in God and all that He stood for. I believed in living according to His word, and I did my best to do that as well. However, I saw gray in everything. My parents only saw black and white. I wasn’t a wild child by any definition of the term. However, when my best friend became pregnant at sixteen, there was no way that you could convince my parents of that.

There are six years between my little sister and me. She became my child. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without her. There was no way that I would be able to get into any mischief with her around. She would tell everything she knew. It wasn’t as fun to be around my friends when she was around because I was afraid she would tell their business too.

My unhappiness turned to depression. There were two things that kept me from attempting suicide: One, I felt like such a failure that I wouldn’t even be able to do that right. Two, I didn’t want to hurt my grandmother, my everything. She had lived with us all my life, and we had a special bond. I felt that she was the only one who showed me unconditional love. She was my heart. There was no way that I could leave her, not when she needed me the most.

You see, when I was in the ninth grade, my grandmother had a stroke that left her paralyzed on her right side and unable to talk. There was only one word left that she could speak with clarity: Jesus. By the way that she called His name, I could always figure out what she needed. I was devoted to her care and her happiness. Even though we could no longer have the conversations that gave me life, she was still able to do more for me in her altered state than anyone else who still possessed all of their faculties.

So what were some of the blessings that came from my unhappy childhood? The biggest lesson for me was to not let anyone else define who I was meant to be. I could have decided to live down to the expectation that I felt others had of me. However, that would have only given satisfaction to those who didn’t believe in me to begin with. Instead, I chose my own path. I always say the best revenge against someone who you feel mistreats you or doesn’t like you is to do well in plain sight. There’s nothing more gratifying than seeing your shine light the way of those who never even saw the glimmer of hope you possessed.

Another lesson was to have faith past my present pain. I used to write letters to myself when I had an exceptionally rough day. I would always write on the envelope, To be opened when you are happy. It never failed. The days that I ran across the envelopes just happened to be what I considered at the time to be bad days. I finally destroyed the envelopes and stopped writing the letters. However, I still never gave up hope. Pain is meant to shape, not break us. Nothing lasts forever unless we become stuck in it. Life is ultimately what we make it, so we have to keep pressing forward. Never stop working toward your dreams and never give up the hope of them coming true.

What’s different about you is what makes you special! As a child, you always want to be a part of the crowd. However, sometimes, you have to sacrifice who you are in order to be surrounded by people who don’t even care to know the real