An Unwanted Miracle: Became God's Gift

By Jane Klock

Maybe the title of my book sounds a little ungrateful because, after all, who wouldn't want a miracle in their life? Have you ever experienced a miracle in your life you did not originally want? Maybe you had been praying about one particular thing, and the answer to your prayer made you doubt God's very existence. There also maybe the feeling of being let down or abandoned by God, and that tears you apart with great confusion and mistrust. But then, you discover it turns out to be God's gracious gift to you to strengthen your faith. You could say, I was expecting my own special miracle from a loving God when I got pregnant for the eighth time. This was due mostly to being medically considered a high risk to carrying children to full term, for I already tragically lost five of these pregnancies, including burying our baby boy. So this was the only conception I put totally in God's hands, even prior to getting pregnant, for I knew and believed God was aware of my great fears associated with this aspect of my life. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to unfold to change my life forever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098036775

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An Unwanted Miracle

Became God's Gift

Jane E. Klock

Copyright © 2020 by Jane E. Klock

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Front cover image is a silk screen design created by Jane Klock

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

An Unwanted Miracle: Became God’s Gift

Give Thanks in All Circumstances

Death of a Baby Boy

I Don’t See It, Mom

I Don’t See It, Mom

Another Chance

He Who Began a Good Work in You

Understanding 14/21 Translocation Down Syndrome

What Is a Miracle?

Trinity

You Don’t Know What Gift You Have Been Given

Silent Death

Whose Path Will You Have Us Cross Today?

Rose in the Wilderness

Take Time to Smell the Plastic Flowers

God’s Chosen Wildflowers

God’s Chosen Wildflowers

It’ll Be Okay

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my Michelle Joy for her wonderful God-given strength, resilience, and stamina, who has shown me to never give up, no matter the circumstances. Also, to her great dad and my husband, Rob, who has always been supportive and encouraging. To my dear daughters, Robyn and Robia, who are always willing to learn, share, accept, and forgive… Michelle always referred to them as Best Sisters.

Last, but certainly not least, to all the many dedicated doctors, nurses, medical, professional staff, teachers, and numerous therapists we have had the pleasure to cross paths with over the years. It took many hours of early intervention to guide a family through the important development stages for a child with Down syndrome. Also, all the medical care involved with her physical, respiratory, and congenital heart defect issues since she was born.

Mostly, I dedicate these words to my loving God who, in all things, strengthens me.

An Unwanted Miracle: Became God’s Gift

Maybe the title of my book sounds a little ungrateful because, after all, who wouldn’t want a miracle in their life? Have you ever experienced a miracle in your life you did not originally want? Maybe you had been praying about one particular thing and the answer to your prayer made you doubt God’s very existence. There also may be the feeling of being let down or abandoned by God and tears you apart with great confusion and mistrust.

You could say, I was expecting my own special miracle from a loving God when I got pregnant for the eighth time. This was due mostly to being medically considered a high risk to carrying children to full term for I already tragically lost five of these pregnancies, including burying our baby boy. So this was the only conception I put totally in God’s hands, even prior to getting pregnant, for I knew and believed God was aware of my great fears associated with this aspect of my life. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to unfold to change my life forever.

Give Thanks in All Circumstances

Hurry, hand me my Bible! I demanded from my husband as another contraction came to an end. I wanted to share a verse with you, I said as I hurried through the pages in anticipation of another Lamaze cleansing breath. My reason for such a need to have him partake of this scripture at such an inconvenient time was to assure myself that God was still in control while my body was wrenched in giving birth seven and a half weeks early. Even then certain memories were haunting me and adding to my fears and frustration. So maybe, if I just say this verse out loud, it will make everything OK.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. I frantically read with the onset of yet another gripping pain of labor. He looked at me confusingly, as if to say, Why are you telling me now at such a time? I proceeded to explain this just happened to be a scripture I selected by random when I had to hurry to fill out a form at church for my secret sister. One of the questions was inquiring to what my favorite verse was, and I had so many I loved but had to choose. And I flipped open directly to this highlighted scripture—1 Thessalonians 5:18.

It was so delightful to see sometimes how the spirit moves, and I had not had a chance to share it with my husband. With growing concern on my physician’s face, there was nothing more to do but let nature take its course. Much testing had been completed, such as an ultrasound and blood work, to check on the condition of the baby’s lungs, which can be one of the biggest dangers at this stage of childbirth. I had already advanced too far in delivery stages to be stopped at this point, so it was just a matter of time. It seemed like this time was in slow motion, as I pondered on some past events that had led me to this day.

I have put it all in God’s hands was my reaction to our family and friends’ concerns upon informing them of our eighth pregnancy. They already knew what our history was for successful pregnancies, and it wasn’t very good. I was so reassured, telling everyone that by putting it all in God’s hands, there would be a miracle. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to unfold to change my life forever.

My first pregnancy was at a time of innocence of being a young eighteen-year-old, confused of discovering I was carrying a child. A part of me was so excited at this thought, for after all, I was about to be a wife. And I really wanted to be a mom. But I felt so much guilt because I was pregnant before being married, and this was still not looked well on in 1972. My memory of crocheting a small two-piece layette set comes to mind, as I battled to accept this large change in my life. My wedding dress was ordered a few sizes larger in anticipation of my body changes, and acceptance was setting in. The only thing missing was having the nerve to tell my parents, which did not take place until a year later.

Into approximately my third month, I could not understand as my body became wretched in pain, and the next thing I knew, I was in a hospital room being informed there will be no child for I was having a miscarriage. Of course, I heard the comforting words of Don’t worry you’re so young, you have lots of time to start a family. But you know what, that did not take the heartache away