Love Notes from God: Helping Friends Deal with the Loss of a Child

By Amanda Burke

Grief and loss are taboo subjects. A mother doesn't want to talk about her child who died. Or does she?

A woman who miscarries isn't losing as much as a mother who loses a newborn. Or is she?

A father doesn't grieve as much as a mother. Or does he?

Our culture is full of misconceptions about grief and loss.

Few mention the thousands of miscarriages and stillbirths, the babies and small children who die every day, leaving parents with empty arms and grieving hearts. The journey through grief can be long and lonely for the families left behind.

Love Notes from God examines how parents cope when they go through a miscarriage or lose an infant. Find out what you can say or do to help them, and also learn what is never appropriate to say to someone who is grieving.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Sep 27, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449727390

Amanda Burke

In the last decade, Amanda Burke has met several women who have had to endure the loss of a child. Amanda has lost three children herself and finds it disturbing that in such a time of personal crisis, few people know how to respond in a truly helpful way. Amanda has three children at home and is proud to be an air force wife of ten years, soon to be stationed in Elmendorf, Alaska.

Book preview

Contents

Forward

Preface

These Shoes

My Love Notes From God

You Can Be God’s Love Note to Others

How to be God’s Love Note

Be a Love Note, Not a Hate Note

What Other Moms Want You to Know

Dads Need Love Notes Too

Afterward

To Bunny for sticking with me through everything for the last 10 years.

I love you.

&

To all the moms with empty arms, your children are not forgotten.

Forward

by

Donna Burke

Communications Coordinator for EFCA TouchGlobal

Amanda has forged through the battering waves of grief and has come to the other shore with a compassionate heart to help others make it through the grief process. To the many who have lost children or other precious things, this book will help apply soothing salve to your wounds. She gives Scripture, along with suggestions, to help sensitize us to a woman’s deep feelings over the loss of a child. Take her encouragements and be the kind of friend that God wants us to be, helping others make it through grief and over to the shores of healing!

Thankfully,

Donna

Psalm 147:3

Preface

The death of a child is one of the hardest things anyone can deal with in life. Some people, mercifully, will never have to go through that kind of pain, but for many of us, it is a reality that may even get repeated over and over because of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, SIDS, accidents, or disease.

For those or you who haven’t gone through this, it can be hard knowing what to say or do when a friend experiences loss like this. You may not even know if you should do anything or if it would be better to just let your friend alone to give them privacy to cope.

My goal through this book is to let people know how to help others during their time of loss. Many people hurt their friends by accident with their comments or condolences because what they say is not appropriate for the moment.

This is a subject that people just do not talk about because it is uncomfortable. Based on my own story and the stories of many other women I have listened to, I believe it is time to open our eyes, step out of our comfort zones and reach out and help.

I hope that this book makes our journeys a bit more clear to those have not experienced it.

I would like to say thank you to Rick & Donna for sharing so much of your story with me for this book. And I also would like to thank the moms that were willing to answer my questions and share so much of themselves with me in an effort to reach out to other women.

I need to thank Aaron Shust for using his musical talents to serve God. You will never know this side of heaven, how many lives you have touched with your songs.

And last, I need to thank my sisters Ange, & Heather for being so supportive of this project and understanding why I need to write it for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you,

declares the LORD,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

These Shoes

author unknown

I wear a pair of shoes;

They are ugly shoes

Uncomfortable shoes

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step,

Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes;

They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are