Yesterday I was Pregnant: What I Wish I'd Known About Miscarriage Before it Happened to Me.

By Vanessa Bailey

A real, honest, and detailed look at miscarriage and the effect it has on you (emotionally, physically and mentally) and potentially on those around you. Strategies for understanding the process, coping with loss and moving forward as best you can are included throughout the text.     

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vanessa Bailey
• Release date: Nov 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386379065

Vanessa Bailey

Vanessa lives in central California with her husband and four children. She has her Master's Degree in Early Childhood Education and has worked as a professor for a local community college for three years. In her spare time she enjoys baking, reading, spending time outdoors with her family and movie nights with her husband. 

Book preview

Dedication

Dedicated to mommies everywhere who know the pain of loss; together we are stronger.

Psalm 56:8

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book.

Chapter One: You’re Not Alone

Whether you’ve had one or numerous miscarriages, are afraid you may have one, are in the process of having one, are a partner to someone who had a miscarriage, have a friend who experienced a miscarriage, or are just curious about what people who experience miscarriage have gone through – this book is for you. Miscarriage took me by surprise when I least expected it, and there are so many things that I wish somebody had told me before it happened. There were opportunities, both via healthcare professionals and also personal acquaintances, that somebody could have filled me in or given me the scoop on what a miscarriage entails. But nobody did.

I have never felt so alone or inexplicably numb as I did when I had a miscarriage. There is so much that your body experiences, both physically and emotionally; some of it rather quickly, and some all too slowly. As though the physical experience of enduring a miscarriage is not enough, there’s the emotional that comes with it free of charge. The emotional aspect of miscarriage is the ugly free gift that you sometimes find at the bottom of your bag when you’ve been shopping somewhere. The item nobody wanted to buy, so they slip it in the bottom of the bag without giving you a chance to No thanks, and you end up with it at home; wondering why you even have it in the first place. And then, if you have a partner or significant other who is experiencing the miscarriage with you, it adds a whole new twist that you must take hold of and deal with as well.

For whatever reason, miscarriage is one of those cultural taboos that our society has somehow interpreted to not be appropriate dinner conversation. There are many topics of conversation that are this way; realities of life that we just handle on our own because it doesn’t seem like something to bring up and chat with other people about. Our society has for whatever reason molded these taboos to be things we naturally know not to bring up, and causes us to feel ashamed to some degree if they happen to us. I’m here to tell you that this is the opposite of what needs to happen when it comes to miscarriage. Miscarriage needs people, laughs, friendly faces, familiar hugs, and reassurance when nothing in life seems bearable.

If you’re reading this book, it likely means that miscarriage has touched you in some way, no matter what that way may be. Miscarriage needs to be okay to talk about. It is not something to be ashamed of. It is not something you did wrong. It is not even something you could have prevented. In fact, it’s actually quite natural and quite normal; one of the ways the human body finds its way of selectively choosing whether to continue investment in something that may be damaged in some way.

You will need help. Your partner or significant other will need help. It’s okay. I promise. You are not alone, and you don’t need to feel like you are. I looked for books that I could read to help me when I was going through my miscarriage, and nothing seemed to fit the bill to help with what I was looking for. My hope and prayer is that this book helps you, even if it is only in some small way. I want you to know that you are normal, what you’ve been through is normal, what you’re feeling is normal... and mostly that despite all those normals, there is nothing about miscarriage that feels or is actually normal at all. It’s simply not the way things are supposed to be. Yet, somehow it still is.  

You will feel

Reviews for Yesterday I was Pregnant

[Heather · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I read this while going through my own miscarriage, and didn’t find it particularly helpful. This is basically just a step-by-step account of the author’s own experience, concluded with some very generic ‘it’s just wasn’t God’s plan’ platitudes. Maybe I’m in a cynical stage of my own grief, but the whole ‘your baby is floating in heaven now’ BS just feels insulting and minimizing. I have a feeling this book only exists because it was therapeutic for the author to write it...this is not the resource I was hoping it would be.