From Ashes to Beauty: My Journey with God and Ms

By Emma Arnold

Emma Arnold is more than an ordinary woman with multiple sclerosis. She is a woman empowered by her faith in Christ. The words of From Ashes to Beauty are drawn from her own experiences dealing with a sometimes-debilitating disease while also seeking a personal journey with her Lord.

Through times good and bad, God has been faithful to Emma, and she hopes her story inspires other people in similar positions to find peace and encouragement. Whatever the circumstance, it is possible to find wisdom in God’s Word, along with the strength to go on, even during the dark days of MS.

From Ashes to Beauty is a deeply personal, meditative, and compelling memoir that is filled with wisdom, guidance, and biblical truth. Readers will find strength, hope, and inspiration through Emma’s true story, and if she reaches just one person with her words, her dedication will be worth it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Dec 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9781728376899

Book preview

© 2022 Emma Arnold. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/01/2022

ISBN: 978-1-7283-7687-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-7688-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-7689-9 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Illustrations by: Jenny Burt

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

This book is dedicated

to my late husband,

Ben, and my two beautiful children.

Thank you for all those who have helped me

along this journey.

CONTENTS

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Preface

Introduction

•   What Is Multiple Sclerosis?

•   Symptoms

Chapter 1 Growing Up with God’s Love

•   My Family

•   Deptford—The Very Early Years

•   Sydenham—The Early Years

•   The Growing-Up Years

•   My Brother

Chapter 2 Independence and Work

•   Early Twenties

•   Nursing/Friendships

•   Sick Children Care

•   Diagnosis and Symptoms

•   A Surprise Confirmation of a Diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis

Chapter 3 Issues in the Early Days

•   Singleness

•   Denial

Chapter 4 MS and Living

•   God Provides a Husband

•   A Sick Friend

•   A Good Lesson

•   Married Life

Chapter5 MS and Motherhood

•   A Daughter!

•   A Son!

•   My Mum Died

•   MS Never Far Away

•   Doing Battle

Chapter 6 MS and Being His Child

•   Moving Church

•   Some Are Good Days and Some Are Bad Days

•   Guilt/Worth

•   Pride

•   Fear and Anxiety

Chapter 7 Prayer

•   Discipline of Private Prayer

•   My Current MS Symptoms

•   Prayer versus Medication

Chapter 8 MS and the Future

•   Which Way or Path?

•   MS Disability and Suffering

Chapter 9 My View of MS and Family Life

•   My Husband

•   My Daughter

•   My Son

Chapter 10 MS and My Family’s Perspective

•   My Husband’s Perspective

•   My Daughter’s Perspective

•   My Son’s Perspective

Conclusions

Personal Reflections

PICTURES

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Picture 1: I Am Free

Picture 2: A Circuit Board

Picture 3: A Crazy Head with All the Connections Not Happening

Picture 4: Wondering What to Do

Picture 5: Looking to Him for Direction

Picture 6: Leaning on the Lord and Not on Anything Else

Picture 7: Picture of a Typical Family.What’s That Then?

Picture 8: Worried

Picture 9: On My Knees Again!

Picture 10: Which Way or Path?

Picture 11: He Is Constantly Holding My Hand

PREFACE

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As anyone who knows me will tell you, I am an ordinary mum of two beautiful God-given children and a wife of a wonderful God-given man (that’s the biased bit coming out; please forgive me!). I cannot confess to being a learned Bible scholar. I cannot succinctly tell you the meaning behind certain phrases, as I am not widely read or knowledgeable.

In a book called A Place of Healing, the author quotes words from an old hymn: I am not skilled to understand, what God has willed, what God has planned; I only know at His right hand, Stands One who is my Saviour! These words ring so true to me. A prayer of mine is that I may never know why I have MS or how it will be used this side of Heaven, but please use me on this earth now to do your will.

However, I can tell you what it has been like living with MS and God’s blessing on my life. It is my hope and prayer that in this act of obedience, I can honour the Almighty and help others in similar situations.

Some of you may be wondering why God has not already healed me. You may ask, Why do you keep holding out for Him to heal you? Or Why not try all the alternative medicines and diets to help this condition?

I can assure you that over the past thirty years, since I was diagnosed, I have tried a number of alternative remedies and special diets as I have prayed for God to heal me. I try to eat a gluten-, dairy-, and sugar-free diet to reduce some of the inflammation that is going on in my body as a result of this autoimmune illness. I take various dietary supplements to help with getting the best vitamins and minerals in my diet. This takes willpower to not get into bad habits, but I feel healthier and fitter than I have in years.

But the one thing I keep coming back to is God’s sustenance. He has kept me well thus far—that I am sure of. The challenges I face, I believe, enable me to draw closer to Him and learn to surrender all to Him, to be desperate for Him and to depend on Him totally and completely. He gives me just enough to get by each day; as the Lord’s Prayer says, give us this day our daily bread.

I have been encouraged by this verse on my Christian journey:Cast you care on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken (Psalm 55 v22)

And this: Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering,yet we considered Him punished by God, stricken by him and afflicted (Isaiah53 v4)

Having MS is surely a small price to pay then?

These verses from Isaiah remind us what it cost Jesus to deliver us from our sins so that we can be at peace with God now and live with Him eternally. We must claim these truths daily as we live in this fallen world facing suffering and trials. He died for you and me; He has paid the ultimate price. Thank You, Jesus.

* * *

Note: I originally wrote this book in 2014 but did not proceed with publishing it for various reasons. In 2017, my darling husband, Ben, died from an aggressive form of cancer, so I have been grieving and trying to navigate life as a single parent. I have not included those experiences in this book. This piece of work was written while He was still alive. I have decided not to cover my, bereavement and grief in this book. It is true to my thoughts and experiences up to 2014.

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Picture 1: I Am Free

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendour.—Isaiah 61:1–3

These words have meant a lot to me personally over the years. Later on, I will explain why. Not only are they beautiful words to us from God’s Holy Bible, but I feel and have felt they are for me from our Lord.

Multiple sclerosis is such an individual illness, and no two people falling under the same umbrella will experience the same symptoms. This book will hopefully be of some information and encouragement as we live with each other.

INTRODUCTION

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But He said to me my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast even more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.—2 Corinthians 12:9–10 NIV

I can do everything through Him who strengthens me.—Philippians 4:13 NIV

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.—Proverbs 16:3 NIV

I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the soil makes the young plant come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.—Isaiah 61:10–11NIV

How true these words are! Thank you, Lord, for these words of wisdom from your son Isaiah. Help me to speak words of reassurance to others through my writings. Show me your ways and guide me towards your truth—teach me.

Please let my words be a vessel for Your blessings and encouragement, through the power of the Holy Spirit. Help me, God, as I write these words. If I lean on my own strength and humanness, I will falter. I trust you with all things.

Let me tell my story with openness and honesty. I want to bless and encourage all those who read these words. I want to give glory to Your plans God, through this work.

I surrender all my loved ones, home, finances, and possessions to you. Help me to recognise all my blessings as