Stop Taking Advantage of Me

By Jedediah A. Roper

This book talks about different scenarios concerning the subject surrounding both those that are taken advantage of and those who take advantage of others using biblical principles.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jul 27, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543900101

Book preview

STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME

COPYRIGHT © 2016 BY JEDEDIAH A. ROPER

ISBN: 978-1-54390-009-5 (print)

ISBN: 978-1-54390-010-1 (ebook)

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PAYING TRIBUTE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

NEW BEGINNINGS

FEAR OF REJECTION

QUALIFIED NOW

INADEQUACIES and more on the

fear of Rejection

ACCEPTANCE OF OTHER PEOPLE’S

WEAKNESSES

FORGIVENESS IN THE FACE OF HOSTILITY

BOUNDARIES

HOW BOUNDARIES LOOK

BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

INTRODUCTION

Responsibilities. The term most adults cringe at when they hear the word. Though it’s not a popular term, it never really changes. What we do may change, or the face of what we do may change, like a new job or a new baby; but as we grow older there is one thing that remains the same, that we all are responsible for ourselves. It seems that we are thrown into adult life at age eighteen (and some of us even earlier) and expected to either sink or swim by either meeting the challenge of taking on new responsibilities head on, or run scared and neglect them hoping that one day they will disappear into a big black hole somewhere. When life threw me a curve ball and I gave up on myself back in 2001, I chose to rely on others to be responsible for me and, like many others out here in the real world, it didn’t work out so well. So, as a Christian suffering from a serious disability now who has also endured both the effects of being taken advantage of by others and tasted the bitter end of what the learned personality trait called control can do to a relationship, I decided to write a book for the disabled, their caregivers, and anyone who wants to become aware of the pitfalls of what running from our responsibility to ourselves will accomplish if we do not confront and stop it; why it’s important to both find and be our genuine self and how it affects fulfilling our God given destiny; and why we let people take advantage of us and why we should stand up for ourselves no matter how disabled we are. We need to face our responsibility to ourselves so we can properly defend our right to self- respect and freedom from bullying by manipulative people.

In no manner is my intention with this book to substitute or override professional counseling in any case when it is necessary, but I hope this book will be regarded as a means to bring insight, hope, and inspiration to people who may be suffering as I have by bringing out my personal experiences and observations and understanding on this subject so far. My sincere hope is for people to experience the freedom I have found when we are true to our genuine self despite the fear of rejection and the disadvantage that comes from disabilities. But my intention is not to cause harm to any person in any way with this book, let me be completely clear. I only desire to bring insight and understanding from a personal perspective concerning a confusing and destructive pattern of behavior.

I believe we as adult children still have it engrained within us a mechanism to reach out to our parents or family members for rescue help when we get into situations in life that get difficult, and some do help us. Or some of us go the opposite direction and over compensate and obliterate oppressors. Or some just don’t care what happens to us and let people walk all over us- both which have negative consequences nevertheless. I hope as you read on you will be both inspired and empowered with the truths I’ve found so far in both my own life experiences and the Word of God that have been able to change my life forever for the better. In this book I will share my life stories and insights from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible with you to give you hope that there are others in the world going through tough times just like you but have made it through with courage and hard work. I encourage you as the reader to have an open mind and an adventurous spirit to venture out into new territory as we tackle subjects that have plagued the human race for as long as we can remember. This is your time to be free and experience life afresh.

Jed

PAYING TRIBUTE

I would like to take a moment before we get started and give honor to My Lord, Jesus Christ, for His wonderful kindness that He showed, shows, and will continue to show me- which is what motivates me with every fiber of my being to want to be like Him in every way in my life because He is the real deal. What I mean is this: without Him, this book you are now holding or reading in some other format, would not have been. Let me explain.

Although I’ve had my fair share of loses in such a short span of time (2000-2012), I am grateful that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8 NKJV). As well, that I can rely on Him to help me whenever, wherever, and in whatever circumstance I may find myself in! And I am thankful that He cares for me enough that He doesn’t think my simplest requests, or my cries for help, are petty. No, on the contrary, He finds it an honor to assist me and to come to my aid anytime I call on Him! All He requires is faith. Simple faith. Courageous faith. Childlike faith.

My Lord loves me and has loved me and has promised to always love me. And I believe it. So much so, that it causes me to love others in His name the same way! And I feel His Spirit everyday as I give His love away to others as He gives His love to me. This is the reason I wrote this book. I wanted others to experience just a taste of the love that we share through the words that I write: the wisdom, the acceptance- of knowing that I am not a monster (which for the longest time I thought I was) and by knowing this those who find themselves in a similar spot as I was can begin to see that there is hope with God that He doesn’t look upon His creation this way. And in knowing that there is forgiveness in Christ for past wrongs; and in knowing there is hope of restoration and reconciliation of relationships sometimes in His Name when He is the head of both parties involved; also, in knowing that hate is not as bad an emotion as it has been made out to be, but can be useful.

Jesus Christ is not a curse word, He is a real person, and He is my friend, my King, my Savior, and My Lord. And I wanted you to know that He is the One who is responsible for helping me through my tough night of passion of wanting to end my life back in May of 2012. And He is the One who gave me permission to go to Florida (I lived in Sheridan, Wyoming back in 2012) to live with family- who welcomed me and who wanted me to come for they wanted to help me- and the Lord said to me in the Spirit that He was going to do a new thing in me. To which, the newness was the beginning of expressing spiritual insights into book form for the people of God, for edification and equipping the saints, and to glorify God, and to uplift the Name of Jesus.

Therefore, I would like to conclude this tribute with a humble prayer to our Heavenly Father, "Father, I am grateful for You LORD! I thank You, Maker of heaven and earth, Who alone has immortality and power because You alone give life and exist LORD! Be exalted Father, and let the earth rejoice because of what You have done in me and in the work in which You have accomplished through Your dear Son, My Savior, My Master- even Jesus Christ the Son of God- Who always pleases You, Great God, in all that He does in both Heaven and in the Earth!

Father, my desire, LORD, is that all who read this work LORD, hear of this work, or become influenced because of this work LORD- will become aware, by Your hand LORD, that You, the One True God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent, will bless them with eternal life by Christ Jesus should they place their trust in Him for the forgiveness of their sins- whether they are people who have been taken advantage of, or are the people who have taken advantage of others, or are people who are just curious about this subject. For you love them all and desire them all to come to repentance and believe on Your Son so they will experience You, but rather so You can have them back, for You long for them to be with You with a Jealous Love. I pray this in Jesus’ Name. Please LORD. Amen.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank a few special people in my life for making this book a reality. First and foremost, I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for helping me see life new in Florida and for giving me all I needed to accomplish this task. I do suppose that if it weren’t for His miraculous way of turning my darkness into light this work would never have come into being. To my son Dominic, you always inspire me to be a great person, and always make me to be a proud dad. To my brother, Chris, his wife Stacey, and their three daughters: Audrey, Kassandra, and Miranda- this book is the result of all the patience and concern and help you have given to me while I was with you in 2012- 2013. All of you have helped me in so many ways when I needed it most that it would take a lifetime to repay you. To my dear friend Ed Russell, who always believed in me and the possibility that this book will be a reality through and through, you are a true diamond in the rough! To the hard working and dedicated staff at both the Sheridan VA in Sheridan, Wyoming Mental Health Department and the James A. Haley V.A. in Tampa, Florida Mental Health Department Staff for all they do and have done for me in my recovery, a big thank you. And to all who made this book possible…Thank You!

CHAPTER 1

NEW BEGINNINGS

Taking risks sometimes can be scary especially entering new or unfamiliar territory. When going into battle, it’s sometimes a good idea to get some counsel from wise sources before you take your first strategic move because it might be the last one you make. Similarly, it could be the same when we are faced with making a change in our lives. Whether it’s to make decisions to change jobs or change a living situation, or whatever the change, it can be frightening and can cause people to stay on the sidelines of life where they are comfortable and more familiar.

When making a change to face reality in our lives, however, it can be the most rewarding experience one can encounter; or, it can horrify someone into a panic driven frenzy. However, so that true happiness, life, health, and satisfaction can take place in one’s life, one must face reality head on; overcome their fear of what may come of it; and accept the fact they may need to change or adjust something in their life to measure up to the truth if they are to have a successful future. For where severe pain, suffering, and agony are there cannot simultaneously dwell satisfaction, peace, serenity, and harmony. Something must change in order that the latter may exist in your mind, body, and spirit. And this takes risk and courage. We must face our reality for what it truly is in order that we may overcome what is truly there.

We all have a level of functioning to be thankful for. And some have a higher level than others. But when that functioning is tampered with; either by our own doing, by drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or an accident, or some unforeseen circumstance and we become disabled: our reality becomes distorted. And we as disabled people then need ample support to regain some sort of quality of life. But it takes sometimes years to attain because of the natural grieving process; also, the time it takes to heal from the injuries to the mind, soul, and body. Then we need time to re-learn how to function with the disability in our