The Inner Rising: A Complete Step-By-Step Self-Care and Success Guide to Developing a Positive, Stress-Free Lifestyle

By Carmen Gilfillan

When we discover how to care for ourselves and strengthen our inner resources, there’s a knock-on effect to how we live life. Knowing who we are and how to keep ourselves strong, well, and able to deal with the demands of life allows life to flow.

In an interactive step-by-step guide, Carmen Gilfillan relies on her experience as an emotional health consultant and specialist in wellness and personal growth, the results of extensive research, and insights from her own journey to share a valuable roadmap of seven key areas. This critical roadmap is intended to help others minimise stress and maximise relaxation, release self-limiting beliefs, transform thinking and behaviours, build confidence, manage time and energy, set practical goals, and identify a clear path forward. Included are introspective questions and additional references designed to assist anyone in taking those crucial next steps to move forward in life.

The Inner Rising offers wisdom and vital tools intended to guide anyone to create their ideal life through positive thinking, better self-care practices, and concrete action.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9798765235812

Carmen Gilfillan

Carmen Gilfillan is an emotional health consultant, life coach, workshop facilitator, speaker, trainer, and specialist in wellness and personal growth. She is the founder of Stimulus, a Midlands, UK-based wellness and personal development practice, and the flagship health and wellbeing programme, S.W.E.D.E.N.

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Copyright © 2022 Carmen Gilfillan.

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without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use

of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical

problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The

intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help

you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use

any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional

right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3580-5 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3582-9 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3581-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022919680

Balboa Press rev. date: 11/30/2022

CONTENTS

Introduction

What this Book is About

1   Minimising Stress, Maximising Relaxation

2   Releasing Self-Limiting Beliefs

3   Positive Thinking and Behaviour

4   Confidence and Self-Esteem Building

5   Time and Energy Management

6   Practical Goal Setting

7   Advanced Planning

Appendices

Appendix 1

Appendix 2

Appendix 3

Appendix 4

Appendix 5

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to The Inner Rising book, and a big thank you for taking this exciting, life-enhancing journey with me. This reader-friendly book is a complete step-by-step self-care and success guide to developing a positive, stress-free outlook; building your self belief and confidence; and managing your time, energy, and attention.

The book has been written very much with you in mind. It’s one you can use for the rest of your life. The information contained within these pages is the sum total of techniques, tips, and strategies I’ve used in my own life for more than twenty years that have moved me from a place of melancholy, frustration, and deep desperation with my life to one of inner peace, a quiet but strong drive, and a much deeper confidence to assert who I am. I sincerely hope they do the same for you.

WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT

This book is primarily about showing you how to care for yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, as well as how to strengthen your sense of self from the inside. It’s about how we need to put our own oxygen masks on first so we have the ability to assist others.

When you know how to care for yourself and strengthen your inner resources, there’s a knock-on effect to how you live your life. With inner certainty of who you are and how to keep yourself strong, well, and able to deal with the demands of life, you can begin to change the way you live so that your life just flows.

Seven Key Areas

The Inner Rising brings together seven key areas that, together, will help you improve how you take care of yourself, change how you think so that your perspective becomes a more positive one, and boost your own self-confidence, belief, and esteem. These seven areas were selected because they represent some of the main issues my clients were experiencing at the time of writing. These are also the areas I personally found I needed to work on consciously, and improve.

Armed with the vital tools outlined in this book, you’ll learn how to use them as a platform to manage your time, energy, and attention, and direct them towards the kind of life you really want to live.

The seven key areas covered in the book are:

1. Minimising stress, maximising relaxation

2. Releasing self-limiting beliefs

3. Positive thinking and behaviour

4. Confidence and self-esteem building

5. Time and energy management

6. Practical goal setting

7. Advanced planning

When you know how to manage stress and relax, release beliefs that hold you back, see the positives, and feel more confident, you have the inner tools to be able to take the next steps. These are to use your time, energy, and your attention to create the kinds of goals and plans that will take you to where you want to go in life.

We can turn our lives around. We just need a nudge in the right direction, coupled with proven tools and techniques that will help us to move in that direction.

The information I’m about to share with you helped me enormously to come through a very dark time of in my life in the mid 1990s, and I want it to help you too.

The information is designed to help you to feel better about yourself and the world around you. It aims to lift you up mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and move you into a better space so you can create the life you want. This is what I term The Inner Rising.

The content of this book is also the result of looking into personal development, reading timeless classics from experts in this field (some of which are cited in this book), and appreciating its benefits for over twenty years. This has involved observing others and using many of the techniques in this book to help not only myself but also the clients of my coaching business, Stimulus, move into healthier, happier, and more vibrant spaces. This has had a direct knock-on effect to the rest of their lives (e.g., their careers, relationships, and financial situations).

The book charts a personal journey of mine, as well as that of my clients, over more than twenty years. Most of the material here is the result not only of the research I’ve carried out in that time, but also from my own experience of using the tools and techniques, my journey as a life coach, and the valuable feedback I’ve received from my clients.

There’s nothing rah rah about this book. The aim of this publication is to help you experience and develop the kind of mindset, mental and physical states, and habits that will give you the life you want.

Your success in becoming the person you want to be is down to your ability to consistently think in a certain way and take a certain set of actions each day.

The theory underpinning the content of this book is based on the following:

• energy therapy theory and practice

• life coaching principles

• personal and spiritual development theory and practice

• neurolinguistic programming (NLP) principles

• cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

• change management theory

It’s also based on observation of myself and others, and principles used by some of the most successful people in the world today.

I myself am an author, qualified life coach and energy therapist, with knowledge and experience of all the above areas.

How to Use This Book

This is an interactive book with a myriad of exercises you can take part in as you read the chapters. There are also specific questions for you to answer at the end of each chapter. The exercises and questions are pen and paper based to give you an opportunity to move away from your electronic devices, go back to basics, and connect more deeply with the subject matter you’re writing about.

There are also questions posed to you in certain sections of the book. To get the most out of the publication, pause your reading and carry out the exercises. The content will mean so much more to you with this approach and will deepen your reading experience.

At the back of the book, in the appendices, you’ll find tools that may help you set the goals you need to move you forward in life, and simple, user-friendly planning proformas designed to help you take those crucial next steps.

Feel free to use the content of this book to inspire you to develop your own tools, techniques, and practices to improve your life. This may involve modifying the tools contained within these pages so they resonate with you on a deeper level.

You’ll also find resources, such as books and websites, that may be of interest to you in terms of widening your knowledge. Please note that the Internet and websites cited in the book were live at the time of writing.

Therefore, in terms of how to use this book, it’s recommended you firstly read the book from cover to cover to get a thorough grounding in terms of the content. Then go back through the book, pausing to do the exercises and answer the questions posed, to gain a deeper reading experience, a shift in your perspective, and a more profound understanding of yourself. The more times you read the book, and build on the exercises you carry out, the more you’ll benefit from the content.

I hope you get as much enjoyment out of reading this book as I did writing it!

All the best,

Carmen

ONE

MINIMISING STRESS,

MAXIMISING RELAXATION

Introduction

Stress is an integral part of our everyday lives. Without a certain amount of stress in our lives, we would not progress and would fail to build up vital defence systems designed to protect us from the negativity of the world we live in.

There are two types of stress: positive stress, which promotes our creativity and helps us to achieve; and negative stress, which puts the body into a state of readiness for attack, or fight or flight (see below). This state, if maintained for any significant length of time, can begin to have a damaging effect on the body.

It is, however, possible to induce just the right amount of stress to bring out the best in us. The ideal amount of positive stress excites us, as we feel we’re in control and able to tackle whatever comes our way. Tip the scales one way or the other, though, and we become either apathetic and bored or panic-stricken.

What Is Stress?

Stress could be described as an unwelcome physical response in the body to a situation we perceive as overwhelming or threatening.

The causes of stress may, for example, include trauma (including the physical trauma of illness or an operation) or bereavement. Bereavement is a form of emotional and psychological trauma that affects the physical as well as the emotional body. Pressure at work, such as unrealistic deadlines and other issues, could also contribute to stress.

Family problems, such as arguments, may also contribute to increasing stress levels. Other pressures, such as domestic obligations, can possibly add to an already busy day, thus increasing stress levels.

Other stress factors could include the way in which we handle relationships. They could also include personal issues, such as low self-confidence or self-esteem. If we don’t have a strong sense of self, we may experience the stress of trying to be all things to all people, ultimately resulting in not knowing who we are.

A further stress factor can arise from changes in our lives, such as moving house, changing jobs, or changing partners. Any upheaval puts stress on both the mind and body. Part of dealing with this may be accepting that stress could potentially play a part in such changes.

Symptoms of Stress

There are many symptoms of stress, both emotional and physical. Some of the emotional symptoms may include the following:

• feelings of anxiety

• panic attacks

• loss of confidence

• fear

• anger

• melancholy or depression

• feelings of hopelessness

Some of the physical indicators of stress could include the following:

• headaches

• dizziness

• increase in heart rate

• increase in blood pressure

• twitching of the muscles

• tiredness

• loss of concentration

• lapses in memory

• insomnia

These are by no means exhaustive lists. There are other more severe symptoms of stress, such as breathing difficulties, chest pain, and fainting, according to the mental health advice and support organisation, Mind.

Impact of Stress

Stress can have an impact both on the body and on the psyche. This is known as the fight-or-flight (or the acute stress) response because the body literally prepares itself to either fight or escape.

What follows is a description of this fight-or-flight chemical reaction that occurs in the body when it is under stress. The response, which is designed to protect our bodies from harm, is said to have been first devised by an American physiologist called Walter Cannon in the late 1920s.

The hypothalamus is a specific part of the brain located just behind the middle point between the eyebrows. The hypothalamus releases a hormone into the pituitary gland, which is located at the base of the brain and attached to the hypothalamus, and then into the bloodstream when you become either threatened or excited.

This hormone (corticotrophin-releasing hormone) stimulates the adrenal glands. This sets the heart racing and speeds up the breathing. Blood is redirected from the digestive tract to the muscles and limbs, which require extra energy in readiness for fight or flight. In addition, your impulses, sight, and awareness become sharper, your pain threshold rises, and your entire immune system becomes highly charged.

Fight or flight is a physical response during which certain hormones are produced, including cortisol, which is said to increase blood pressure and blood sugar and suppress the immune system. Once the immune system is suppressed, the ability to fight off illness effectively is reduced. Fight or flight also suppresses the rationality of the mind. In this state, we are in survival mode. Everything is seen as a possible threat, making our responses to even the most mundane actions or comments exaggerated.

This state goes back to prehistoric times when a person’s very survival would be threatened and that person would literally need to either fight or flee. In those days, the threat from, say, the attack of an animal would be short-lived; the chemical reaction in the body would therefore also be short-lived. Soon this fight-or-flight state would subside and the body would return to normal.

Today’s Pressurised Society

In today’s pressurised society, however, many of us are (sometimes unbeknownst to ourselves) living lives of high stress, where this chemical reaction is being set off many times a day. The threat, however, is not necessarily from an animal attack. It may be an impending deadline; traffic lights that turn red when we approach them; arguments with friends, family, or colleagues; or just too much to do in too short a space of time.

Because situations such as these occur on a regular basis each day, the adrenal glands become overworked, pumping adrenaline and other stress hormones into the body on a constant basis. As a result, we’re in a constant state of fight or flight. This state, if left unchecked, can stifle our attempts