Kids' Kookiest Riddles

By Steve Charney and Rob Collinet

What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs. Who did Dracula marry? The girl necks door. With hundreds of hysterical riddles to choose from, theres non-stop amusement. Kids will keep dipping into this kooky, crazy collection, just for laughs. The subjects range from "Bugs, Beasts, and Birds" to "You Could Have Food Me." There are even "Goofball Poems" like this:
Its a dogs delight to bark all night,
And a nightingales to sing.
And if you sit on a red-hot stove,
Its the sign of an early spring.
Every one is fun.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Union Square & Co.
• Release date: Sep 5, 2009
• ISBN: 9781402776250

Book preview

BIG BEASTS

What animal has the highest intelligence?

A giraffe.

How do you train King Kong?

Hit him with a rolled up newspaper building.

What steps should you take if you see a lion?

Long ones.

What do you get when you cross a tiger with a parrot?

I don’t know. But when it talks, you’d better listen.

What’s the best way to call a tiger?

Long distance.

I can lift an elephant with one hand.

Can you really?

You find me an elephant with one hand, and I’ll lift him.

MARVIN: You can’t pull out elephant tusks because they’re so tight.

MELVIN: Except in Alabama. . . Tuskaloosa.

TEACHER: Can you give me the names of two bears in the far north?

HARRY: I’m sorry, I don’t know any personally.

What do you call a gorilla with a giant stick?

Sir.

What’s the difference between a flea and an elephant?

An elephant can have fleas, but a flea can’t have

elephants.

Do cows give milk?

No, you have to take it from them.

Do you know how long cows should be milked?

The same as short ones.

What two animals do you go to bed with every night?

Your calves!

What do you do when the biggest cow in the world looks you in the eye and says, Moo.

You’d better moo.

Two cows are in a pasture grazing, and one says, Moooo

The other says, I knew you were going to say that.

FIRST GUY: I used to be a lion tamer. I’d put my right arm inside the mouth of a lion. They called me Garbanzo the Great.

SECOND GUY: What do they call you now?

FIRST GUY: Lefty.

FARMER HAYSTACK: Have you ever seen a herd of cows?

HARRY: Sure I’ve heard of cows.

FARMER HAYSTACK: I don’t mean have you heard of cows. I’m talking about a cowherd.

HARRY: What do I care if a cow heard. I haven’t said anything she shouldn’t hear.

BEASTY BEASTS

How many sheep does it take to make one sweater?

I didn’t even know sheep could knit.

TEACHER: Is the kangaroo peculiar to Australia?

HARRY: No, but it sure is to me!

Where do sheep get a haircut?

At the baa-baa shop.

What’s a one-eyed deer called?

No ideer.

How come there are no monkeys on the moon?

Because there are no bananas