The Ponderings of the Milliner: The Magical Misadventures of Mr Milliner, #2

By James Hywel

Book Two reunites Morgan, Josie and Spike with Mr Milliner for a second summer. 

The children receive word from Captain Cornelius, who just happens to be a pirate, that he would like them to join him aboard his ship - for lunch. Cornelius introduces his crew, finally getting to the parrot. "This be soup," he says, and Josie is concerned that the parrot is on the menu - but all will become clear.  

The Ponderings of the Milliner reminds us of our childhood when we could step inside our own world, with imaginary friends, who were as real to us as the noses on our faces. 

Throughout the story, James leaves the reader wondering where the line between imagination and reality is. 

The Ponderings of the Milliner is a delightful story in the Magical Misadventures of Mr Milliner children's chapter book series. If you or your child like exploring creativity, and whimsical innocence, then you'll love James Hywel's wondrous tale of childhood.

Buy The Ponderings of the Milliner to fall in love with Mr Milliner as much as Morgan and Josie have!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Oink Books
• Release date: Jul 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201445270

James Hywel

James began dabbling in writing in 2001 with many of his first books going to 5th and 6th editions. In August 2021 he wrote The Musings of the Milliner for and featuring his niece and nephew in Scotland. Little did he know that this book would be the start of The Magical Misadventures of Mr Milliner series (now containing seven books). His next series was the much-loved Adventures of Albert Mouse, featuring Dartmouth’s most fa-mouse resident, Albert Mouse. James has now written over 30 children's books. To try and explain where his stories come from would be impossible and not even James can explain it. His writing process is as unorthodox and quirky as his books are magical and mind-transporting. James pens a weekly email entitled Letters from the Oak Tree where he talks about writing, books, and basically anything and everything else.

Book preview

Chapter

One

Josie wasn’t really sure what the teacher was saying, mainly because she wasn’t really listening. Instead, she was sitting at her desk with her chin supported on her hands and slowly watching the thin red second hand on the big clock slowly move round. It moved one slow tick at a time, very, very slowly.

She knew that in every classroom throughout the school, children of all ages were also looking up at the clocks, watching the minutes tick slowly by just like she was.

She sighed.

She remembered what Mr Milliner had said about time just being invented to stop everything happening at once. She wondered who the adult was that had invented time and where they lived. If it wasn’t too far away, then she would most certainly go and visit them to ask why they had made seconds and minutes go past so slowly. She wasn’t sure how fast she would like them to go, but it would be far quicker than the speed they were currently going on the classroom clock.

Josie, are you listening to what I’m saying? asked Mrs Stepandfetchit, in a stern voice.

The problem was, Josie wasn’t listening at all. Her mind had wandered from how slowly the red second hand was moving, and it was now wondering how the Turn-keys were. She gave a slight smile as she thought about Ronald, the Milliner’s little mouse.

I really don’t think it’s funny, Josie! Mrs Stepandfetchit said, raising her voice.

Josie still wasn’t listening.

Just then, the bell finally rang for the end of class and the end of term. The children gathered up their books and Josie came back from her thoughts.

Have a wonderful holiday, everyone. I’ll see you all back at school on Wednesday, the seventeenth of August, rested and refreshed, called the teacher, as the children rushed out of the classroom.

Josie ran down the corridor and out into the playground to find Morgan.

Chapter

Two

Spike jumped up onto the windowsill and looked out of the window.

Good gracious! Is that the time already? asked Mrs Berwick, looking at her watch. How do you always know what the time is?

Spike gave a bark.

Yes, they will be here in a moment. You just need to wait.

Spike wasn’t very good at waiting and he was soon looking up and down the lane in a high state of alertness. He knew the children were close, and his tail wagged in time with his whining.

You’ll not be this excited tomorrow when you realise they will treat you like a little human again for six entire weeks, said Mrs Berwick.

But Spike wasn’t really listening. His attention was fixed on looking out of the window.

Just then, the garden gate opened and Morgan and Josie came up the path. Spike started wagging his tail so hard that he nearly fell off the windowsill.

There you go, said Mrs Berwick, opening the front door.

Spike leapt down and ran across the kitchen floor so fast that his little feet skidded on the tiles.

Slow down! said Mrs Berwick, but Spike was now out of the door and running down the garden path as fast as he could.

Spike! screamed the children, dropping their bags on the grass and hugging him.

Well, someone’s pleased to see you, said Mrs Berwick.

He knows it’s the start of the holidays, don’t you Spike? Are you excited? asked Josie, rubbing Spike’s tummy.

Oh dear Spike, that sounds like six weeks of squeezing to me. I hope you’re ready? replied their mother. So how was school?

Ok. I’m glad it’s over, I’m so tired, said Morgan, as Spike licked his face.

What about you Josie?

Same. Do you know, I’m sure the school clocks go slower than any other clock in the entire world.

Yes. I used to think just the same when I was at school, said their mother, picking up their school bags.

The children walked up to the house and plonked themselves down on the sofa. Their mother brought them a glass of milk and a slice of cake each.

Thanks, Mum. How was your day? asked Josie.

It was very quiet for a change. Did a bit of housework and other bits and bobs. Then I had a cuddle with Spike, so not a bad day at all.

That’s nice, said Josie.

So what plans have you two got for the summer holidays or daren’t I ask?

"We will probably spend a lot of time at the oak tree, but we have to check if all the leaves have grown back yet,’ said Josie.

Do the leaves make a difference, then? asked her mother.

Oh, yes. Mr Milliner said he would only be back in the tree when the leaves came back after winter.

I see. I hope we will at least spend some days together this summer, unlike last year.

I’m sure we will, don’t worry, Mum. We just need to make sure Mr Milliner is okay first, though.

Yes, we haven’t seen him for an entire year and that’s a very long time, said Morgan.

Chapter

Three

The children were still fast asleep, so Mrs Berwick crept downstairs so she didn’t wake them. She looked across at Spike’s bed, but it was empty.

I bet the little monkey has spent the night in someone’s bed upstairs, she said to herself.

She then put the kettle on and, while it was boiling, she opened the front door and looked down at the doorstep.

It’s been nearly a year and I still don’t know who keeps leaving these eggs, she said, picking up the basket of eggs that had been left on the doorstep.

What was that, Mrs Berwick? said Frank the postman, as he came up the path.

Frank, how many times I have I told you, you’ll give me a heart attack one of these mornings, creeping up on me like that!

Sorry, Mrs Berwick.

I was just saying that I still don’t know who is delivering these eggs.

Maybe you should get yourself one of those security cameras. My brother has one, and you’d be surprised what he catches on it. Just last week, or was it the week before? No, let me think, it can’t have been last week because…..

Mrs Berwick knew this conversation had all the makings of a very long and drawn-out one, one that she certainly didn’t have time for this morning.

A security camera, you say? she said, interrupting him. I may just look into one of those, thank you, Frank.

Always happy to help if I can, Mrs Berwick, you know that. Oh, here are your letters. Just a gas bill, a letter from your sister and one from the school. Not for me to say, but a letter from the school usually means trouble in my book. I remember when I was a young boy….

Yes, thank you, Frank. Anyway, I really must get on. The animals don’t feed themselves. Good-day.

With that, Mrs Berwick went inside and closed the door. She put the eggs on the kitchen counter and then sat down at the table.

I do wish he wouldn’t go through the mail like he does. There is just no privacy with that man, she said, picking up the letter from the school.

Although he has a point. No letter from the school is ever good news. Anyway, let’s see if I’m presently surprised, she said, opening the letter and reading the first paragraph. And I’m not!

Mrs Berwick continued to read the rest of the letter, giving sighs and tuts in various places. She then placed the letter back in its envelope and re-boiled the kettle that had since gone cold.

Once the kettle had boiled for the second time, she made herself a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa.

The question is, do we deal with this now or wait ’til the end of the holiday? said Mrs Berwick to herself, as she took another sip of her tea.

Eventually, the children stirred upstairs, followed by a few creaking floorboards, then the sound of doors opening and closing and taps running. Finally, Josie came downstairs, followed by Spike.

Morning, Mum. Did you sleep ok? she asked, sitting down next to her mother.

Quite well.

That’s good.

Josie, how are things going at school? asked her mother.

Ok, why?

Any problems?

No, not really. Why do you ask?

Oh, no reason, really. Well, there is a reason, actually. This morning I received a letter from the headmistress.

What, Mrs Loudnshouty wrote you a letter? About what?

She said they are concerned about your lack of concentration lately. How your mind seems to be elsewhere in class.

Yes, well, I don’t like Mrs Stepandfetchit. She’s always picking on me.

Maybe she’s always picking on you because you are not concentrating in class?

I do concentrate, but her lessons are so boring.

be that as it may. This is the first time the school has sent a letter about either you or your brother, and I’m just concerned, that’s all.

It’s fine. Next year I’m in Miss Abbott’s class and she is lovely. Everyone likes her.

That is some good news, I agree. However, Mrs Loudnshouty wants to see me this Tuesday, so is there anything that you want to tell me before then?

I just find lessons a bit boring, that’s all. They say I ask too many questions that they don’t even know the answers to, said Josie.

Ok, well, I’m going to have to see them, I suppose. What is Mrs Loudnshouty like?

Josie sighed.

Horrid and like her name. Loud and shouty.

What’s that about Mrs Loudnshouty? asked Morgan, who was just coming down the stairs.

Mum wanted to know what she’s like.

She’s always in a bad mood and shouts a lot, said Morgan. Is breakfast ready?

Yes, I’m just getting it now. Scrambled?

Yes please! said Josie.

While I’m doing breakfast, can you make sure that all your school clothes are in the washing basket? That includes any smelly PE kit. I really don’t want that growing legs for the next six weeks.

The two children went upstairs and emptied their bags and brought down all their washing.

Chapter

Four

After breakfast, the children fed Pardon and Wanna-bee, then made themselves a packed lunch in the kitchen.

Are you off out? asked their mother.

Yes, we’re going to the oak tree for the afternoon. Is that ok? said Josie.

Of course. I have some things to do in town, so I guess I’ll see you for supper.

With that, the children gathered up their bags and headed out of the door, followed by Spike.

As they walked down the lane, they checked the hedgerow, but the blackberries weren’t ripe. Morgan still picked one or two.

Do you think he will be there? asked Morgan.

He said he would be back from his holidays once the leaves had appeared on his tree. In geography, we learnt that oak trees are coming into leaf earlier and earlier because of global warming, so I am sure he’s there, said Josie.

I hope he has Ronald with him, said Morgan, putting a blackberry in his mouth and pulling a face as he chewed them.

Soon they arrived at the gate and could see that the oak tree was in full leaf and looking better than it had done last year.

Our sign is still here, but I think it needs a re-paint. Remind me to take it home later, said Morgan, but Josie was already through the gate and halfway across the field.

Josie stopped under the tree and looked up into the branches. She felt excited to see the Milliner again. Spike gave a bark.

No. We are going to wait for Morgan, she said, looking back towards the gate to see where her brother was.

Can you see him? asked Morgan, when he eventually arrived at the tree.

We were waiting for you. Are you ready? asked Josie, with a big smile on her face.

Ready! said Morgan.

Spike gave another bark.

Before Josie could open her mouth, she heard a familiar voice from amongst the branches.

Mr Spike, is that you? asked the Milliner.

Spike barked again.

Mr Milliner, you’re back. Oh, I’m so glad, said Josie, trying to see where he was.

Back from where? he asked.

From your holiday. You said you were going away to see your friend, answered Morgan.

Did I? Which friend?

Are you coming down the tree to see us? asked Josie.

Not at the moment I’m not, answered the Milliner.

Oh, I thought you’d like to see us since it’s been almost a year, said Josie, looking disappointed.

What’s been almost an ear? asked the Milliner.

Come down here at once, Mr Milliner! demanded Josie, folding her arms.

Morgan, has she folded her arms? asked Mr Milliner.

Yes, she has, and she looks mighty cross, said Morgan.

The children waited. Eventually, Mr Milliner spoke to someone in the tree.

Mr Nutandbolts, we will have to continue this game of chess some other time. But if you could give me a paw with the basket, I’d appreciate it, said the Milliner.

Morgan turned to Josie.

Who’s Mr Nutandbolts?

I have no idea, said Josie.

Just then, the basket descended out of the tree, and in it was Mr Milliner.

Even before the basket had touched the ground, Mr Milliner had leapt out and rushed up to where Morgan and Josie were standing with his arms out-stretched.

I’ve missed you! he yelled, and picked up Spike, giving him a big squeeze and a kiss on the head.

Spike returned the kiss by licking the Milliner all over his face.

Have you missed us? asked Josie, looking a bit put out.

Mr Milliner put Spike down and as he did so, he whispered in the little dog’s ear.

Don’t tell him I told you, but the squirrel is in the tree. Just don’t play chess with him because he cheats.

Mr Milliner then opened his arms.

I’m back!

The children ran up and both hugged him.

It’s so good to see you, Mr Milliner, said Morgan. I was worried you wouldn’t be here.

Mr Milliner didn’t really understand why they were worried that he couldn’t hear and felt both his ears.

Yep, my ears are both there and I can hear. You scared me for a moment.

I didn’t know the squirrel could play chess, said Morgan.

Oh yes, he’s nutty about it. Anyway, on to more important matters, he said.

Like what? asked Josie.

Sandwiches! replied the Milliner, licking his whiskers.

Don’t worry, we’ve made you some lunch. Get the chairs and table and then we can have some lovely cheese sandwiches, said Josie.

The Milliner clapped his hands together excitedly, then brought the key out of his pocket, unlocked the door and stepped inside the tree.

A few moments later, he returned with four chairs, and then went back inside. Then he came out with eight house bricks, which he carefully stacked, one on top of the other and then went back into the tree.

Morgan looked at his sister, who just shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t know what was going on either.

Just then the door swung open and Mr Milliner dragged out the wooden table with the two holes in it where he had cut shapes of his feet out last year. He then positioned one corner of the table onto the stacked bricks.

Josie really couldn’t contain herself any longer and just had to ask the question.

I know we haven’t seen you for a year and I hate to kick off the first hour of our reunion with a question, but I was just wondering why the table has a leg missing? asked Josie.

The Milliner leaned over and looked