Beyond Love, Romance, and Sex: Best Way to Prepare for Marriage

By Ndungu Mungai

This book, Beyond Love, Romance, and Sex: Best Way to Prepare for Marriage, is a step-by-step guide to a happy and fulfilling marriage.

 

Its purpose is to help singles recognize what it takes to get into an enjoyable and long-term marital relationship beyond the popular but insufficient and often misleading practices embraced by many communities. Its pages:

 

• Highlight 40 things you should know and do long before you can find a partner, say I do, and move into marriage.
• Provide testimonies of 120 young and adult men and women whose relations with their partners were affected by their failure to be fully prepared for marriage. 
• Show falling in love and engaging in premarital sex does not guarantee a happy marriage if both partners have not met other requirements necessary for getting married.
• Record facts and figures on the poor state of marital relationships in your country and elsewhere and mistakes that lead to falling out by dating partners and divorce among married couples.
• Cite statements from relationship experts and social scientists to help you recognize how best to conduct your present life for the success of your future marriage.

The book seeks to help you take note of habits, practices, and issues that can destroy your chances of attracting the right man or woman, carrying out a successful courtship, and developing a sweet and stable marriage.

 

It is a book every single adult should read long before moving into a relationship with a man or woman to eventually avoid the effects of a poor marriage that often include: painful divorce, domestic abuse, spousal killing, suicidal thoughts, and stress-related diseases.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ndungu Mungai
• Release date: Jul 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201846732

Ndungu Mungai

Ndungu Mungai is a motivational speaker, social commentator, and relationships counselor based in Limuru, Kenya. He speaks and writes on issues of interest and concern to the human family, particularly love, courtship, marriage, parenting, religion, and sex. He started his preaching and counseling ministry in 1988 and has addressed several youth meetings and couples' seminars. He has been a guest speaker in countless church services, annual conventions, weekly meetings, and Bible study seminars. He has also addressed many public and private functions, including wedding ceremonies, family events, group meetings, community gatherings, and funeral services. He has also been invited to several educational institutions to talk with students or parents or address special parents/students/teachers' meetings or get-together events. He has in the past decade published thousands of articles on social media platforms that have been read and shared by millions of people around the world. His Facebook page, Relationships Counselor, reaches thousands of people every week with posts helpful to men and women of all ages and backgrounds.

Book preview

1. Truths You Should Know About the Institution of Marriage

We are living in a world where large numbers of people tell lies about anything and everything. Marriage is one of the institutions that is lied about by most people. To avoid plunging himself into trouble, a wise person will need to understand the nature of marital relationships.

It is partly because of a lack of correct understanding of the institution of marriage that divorce is becoming a permanent feature in most countries. Couples consuming wrong information about marital unions are damaging each other's body, mind, character, spirituality, and ambitions before they walk out on each other or file for divorce. You need to familiarize yourself with the state of marriage and divorce in your country before you can decide to live with a member of the opposite sex.

State of marriage in the United States

The United States is an example of a country where most people find it difficult to live together for long. Some hundred years ago, married adults in this North American land of over 330 million people lived together until death; single families were almost non-existent. But as of the year 2020, over 50 percent of all marriages there end in divorce.

State of marriage in the United Kingdom

Most people in the United Kingdom are also having trouble maintaining marital relationships. The divorce rate in this European nation, with over 66 million people, is reported to be close to 50 percent. A 2021 report noted divorce statistics in that country could leave a man or woman looking forward to getting married with cold feet. 

State of marriage in The People's Republic of China

The institution of marriage in China has also been suffering badly. One researcher notes divorce rate in this Asia Pacific land of over 1.4 billion people soared from around 0.96 divorces per 1,000 people in 2000 to 3.36 divorces in 2019. A government report says divorce went from 1.3 million couples in 2003 to 4.15 million in 2019.

Best way to avoid trouble in your future marriage

Your future marriage need not be like that of millions of people in China, the United Kingdom, the United States, and other parts of the world. You can save yourself from future trouble if you educate yourself on principles that produce successful marital relationships. Listed here are facts you should know about marriage before you can look for a partner:

Personal sacrifice necessary

The first thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it requires a lot of sacrifice by partners. Efforts of both mates are needed to make a relationship fulfilling. A person not willing to sacrifice much of his time and energy should never get into marriage because it cannot succeed with the efforts of just one person.

A man and woman have to put 100 percent of whatever it takes for a relationship to succeed. The newly-created concept of a spouse giving half or quarter or one-eighth of what a relationship needs has been one of the key factors behind the breakdown of many marriages. Half-hearted efforts by one mate do not ensure the survival or stability of a marital relationship.

Plenty of resources a must-have  

The second thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it requires a never-ending supply of resources to operate smoothly and produce satisfaction for both mates. Just as institutions need money for them to work, so also is the case with marital relationships. The survival and progress of any marriage depend on the amount of resources mates are prepared to put into it daily.

Without the necessary inputs, which are both financial and material, a marital union will produce bitter results or collapse and never rise again. The saying when poverty comes in at the door, love flies out of the window is true. Lack of funds or enough resources to meet family obligations is a cause of marital conflicts, abuse, and divorce.

Regular consultation essential

The third thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it needs lots of consultation between man and woman to operate smoothly and be productive and fulfilling. Institutions need effective and constant communication between staff, and marriage is not different. A husband and wife have to consult each other frequently on all issues if their relationship has to be stable.

Unknown to many people, the institution of marriage hates individuals who like doing things alone or making decisions without involving their partners. Marital relationships run by persons who do not know how to communicate, or consult, are often plagued by problems so much that their existence or stability is not assured. Nothing, for instance, hurts a relationship so much as poor forms of communication or consultation, including the use of snide remarks, abusive words, silent treatment, complete withdrawal, ugly facial expressions, and violent gestures.

Submission a must-do   

The fourth thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it requires total submission of both partners every hour of day and night. In any institution or organization, employees have to submit to each other for the smooth running of its operations and departments, and this is the same case with marital unions. No relationship can be at peace or survive if both partners are not willing to submit to each other at all times.

Submission means both partners give themselves over to each other for the singular aim of making the relationship avoid friction that can cause trouble. Disobedience and rebellion are behind the death of marital unions around the world. Couples should be united in body, mind, and soul for their marriage to produce the highest level of happiness.

Openness is compulsory

The fifth thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it requires lots of openness between partners to avoid conflicts. Marriage is one of the institutions in the world which abhor secrecy between partners and which feels most threatened and undermined by hidden agendas and issues. Relationships are affected by the hidden agendas of one spouse or both partners.

Conflicts are the order of the day in relationships where partners are not open with each other. Secretive spouses often experience verbal attacks or fights from their mates once their behavior comes to the fore. Married men and women who adore secrecy tend to be victims of fear, anxiety, stress-induced illnesses, and divorce.

Loyalty is a crucial requirement!  

The sixth thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it demands the highest degree of loyalty between both partners. Disloyalty among couples makes their marital relationship prone to a wide range of conflicts. No person wishes to live with a spouse who plays around or sleeps with other members of the opposite sex.

Behavior that indicates a person is no longer morally loyal often sparks domestic violence that can see such a spouse maimed or even killed by a mate. Such kind of conduct can also be a ground for separation. More people are divorced or killed by their mates for flirting with other members of the opposite sex or cheating on them.

Good sex is a must give 

The last thing you should know about the institution of marriage is that it requires satisfying sexual relations between mates. Sex is one of the most important things adults are interested in, and a spouse does not view well a partner who is not willing to submit to intercourse regularly. The inability to get regular sex from a spouse is another factor behind the breakup of marital relationships.

Sexual relations must be satisfying if one or both mates are to avoid engaging in adulterous affairs. The kind of sex couples engages in often determines how close or distant they will be to each other. A wise man or woman will need to be creative in bed to keep their marriage happy and intact.

Acquire good premarital counseling before marriage

Grasping the truths mentioned above and living by them can assure a happy relationship with your future spouse. Understanding vital truths before you decide to get married will make you well-prepared to deal with challenges that might confront you and your future mate. You will need to acquire quality and comprehensive premarital education long before you get yourself a partner and proceed to say I do.

King Solomon reminded his contemporaries that: Plans are established by counsel and urged them to acquire wise counsel before they could wage war (Proverbs 20:18). One Bible version puts that passage this way: Be sure you have sound advice before making plans or starting a war. Another translation states: Get good advice, and you will succeed; don't go charging into battle without a plan.

The bottom line of this statement by Solomon is that an individual should acquire adequate knowledge and consult widely before making a crucial decision or undertaking a critical mission. That not only applies to going to war but also in choosing a career or marriage mate or raising children. The examples cited here show what can happen if you enter a casual or permanent relationship without a basic understanding of what it requires from you.

Example from Texas in the United States

Take, for instance, the case of 35-year-old Joel from Dallas in the United States who hurriedly entered a marital relationship simply because he did not want to lose a certain girl to another guy. He told a meeting of young couples:

I had not known Barbara for a long time, but I greatly adored her beautiful and well-shaped body. I went crazy when she hinted she was about to be taken up by another guy in our area. I could not afford to lose her to any man, and I, therefore, made plans to have her in my house within the shortest time possible. I used all the tricks in the book to have her as my wife.

Joel also stated: It was a few weeks into our marriage when I came to realize Barbara had no wife material in her. She did not know how to live with a man or take care of the house. Her strength was in academics and her career but not in a marital relationship. We still have problems relating to each other. Our union is a mess though we still live together.

Case from England in the United Kingdom 

Consider also the case of 28-year-old Jasmine from London, United Kingdom, whose marriage collapsed after a couple of years because of never being open to her husband. One lifestyle magazine quoted her as having said:

I never told Harry I had been living with another man before our marriage and that I had a three-year-old kid living with my parents in Wales. I also never disclosed to him that I was looking for a job that would involve leaving the country for a couple of years. I pursued my goals without telling him, and he was quite angry when he came to know what I had been planning. He speculated I was either having an affair with my ex-boyfriend or with the guy helping me get a job in Kenya.

Jasmine also noted: Harry felt this way because there were times when I would be away from our home for some days without telling him where I was. I never disclosed to him that I was always at Cardiff to see my son living with my parents. Five years into our marriage, he had left our house to live with a younger woman in Oxford. I have never seen or heard from him ever since.

Testimony from Beijing in the People's Republic of China 

And finally, think about the case of 30-year-old Baozhai from Beijing in the Republic of China who endured marital problems because she never thought sex was all that important. She told a seminar of newly-married couples:

The first three years of my relationship with Yuxuan were quite difficult. He seemed intent on making my life hard. He was no longer the loving guy he used to be before our marriage. There were even signs that he was starting up a relationship with another young girl. Whenever I asked him why he was showing indifference to me and always texting that female workmate, he would reply that I had failed to satisfy his life.

Baozhai also added: It was an elderly mother of three adult children who one day informed me the only way to get to a man's heart is by taking care of his physical needs and by being generous to him in bed. I started doing as told, and our marriage became better by the day. I cannot complain. Life is good for both of us.

Something you should keep in mind

Majority of people who enter marital relationships without knowing how they function often get hurt in body, mind, and soul. According to Louise Chang, MD, adjunct assistant professor of medicine at Emory University and member of the American College of Physicians, constant marital conflict has been linked to an increased risk of a variety of diseases, such as heart disease, cancer, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, and depression. (Chang)

There are many other things marriage does to ignorant men and women. You should avoid becoming one of them once you settle down with your future spouse. Some of the diseases and deaths witnessed around the world are caused by the negative effects of poor relationships on the body, mind, and souls of the individuals involved. Bad marital unions are also behind increasing cases of suicide and homicide in most regions of the world.

2. Lies You Should Not Believe About the Institution of Marriage

People who tell lies about the institution of marriage are giving the young generation a negative view of such relationships. Anti-marriage elements want the world to believe marital relationships are not easy to handle or are useless. Such falsehoods inspire young people to engage in casual unions and already-married adults to opt-out of their marriages.

Every year in almost every country, falsification of facts results in the death of thousands of marriages involving men and women of all ages, creeds, and backgrounds. In some lands, divorce rates are so high as to frighten individuals hoping to get married. You need to know the state of marriage and divorce in your country before you decide to move into a marital relationship. 

Loss of interest in marriage among the Canadians

Canadians are great people who nevertheless have a problem developing relationships. About 50 percent of marriages in this North American land of over 37 million people end in divorce. An ever-increasing number of adults prefer short-term relationships, with couples living together amounting to 16.4 percent in 2001 and rising to 21 percent by 2016. 

Loss of interest in marriage among the Australians

The great inhabitants of Australia also seem to have lost the ability to develop happy long-term relationships. About 33 percent of all marriages in this vast island with over 25 million people end in divorce. According to one study, Australian men and women living together without marriage increased from 16 percent in 1976 to 80 percent in 2016.

Loss of interest in marriage among the Japanese

Trouble in relationships is also keeping the inhabitants of Japan, with a population of over 125 million, away from marriage. Reports say about 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women in that island nation have never been married by age 50. A 2015 survey noted that 60 percent of single men between 18 and 34 years and 50 percent of single women in that Asian nation did not want to get married yet.

Wrong perceptions can damage your future marriage!  

Your future marriage could end like that of millions of people in Japan, Australia and Canada, and other parts of the world. That is more so if you have a wrong perception of the institution of marriage. Recorded here are some of the lies about marital relationships you should dispense with before you can look for a marriage mate:

Only men stand to benefit!

The first lie you should not believe is that the institution of marriage only benefits men and not women. Studies from different lands show married women get lots of benefits than single ladies living alone or in cohabiting unions. Research shows wives experience less stress and are healthier and more secure than single women and widows.

Such happens to be one of the reasons most girls wish to get married and why married women fight persons who might want to steal their husbands or remove them from their marital relationships. Married women may not have assets, but they enjoy better mental and physical health than their single and widowed counterparts. Wives tend to live longer than other groups of people and outlive their husbands by several years.

Wives are oppressed!  

The second lie you should not believe is that the institution of marriage oppresses women while liberating men. As social democracy and gender equality become entrenched in our respective societies, married women enjoy increased rights, freedom, and opportunities. Both civil and marriage laws often favor women and children over men.

In some lands, men see themselves as endangered species because of the rights, liberties, and freedoms women are granted by state laws. Men are reporting being more oppressed by marital relationships than women though the prevailing trend is to depict men as being oppressive as they have always been.

Produces poor sexual relations

The third lie you should not believe is that the institution of marriage produces poor sexual experiences compared to casual sexual relations. Studies show married women have the best sex than single or divorced women. The majority of married men also report having better sex with their wives than the kind of sex they used to get from prostitutes or ex-girlfriends.

Though the entertainment industry and liberal organizations glorify premarital sex as the ultimate form of sexual fulfillment, it tends to be plagued by emotional, physical, and sexual difficulties. During a casual affair, one partner may be reluctant to engage in a carefree expression out of fear of unwanted pregnancy, sexual disease, and other possible repercussions: including public ridicule, religious persecution, or shame and guilt. Such fears, worries, difficulties, and inhibitions are not present among legally and happily married men and women. 

Both partners should be equal!

The fourth lie, which you should not believe, is that the institution of marriage requires equality of both sexes for it to work to the satisfaction of both partners. The view that people are equal has been the cause of the unprecedented breakdown of marital relationships in recent decades. In many countries, marriages started to collapse in the early 20th century when societies embraced the concept of equality of sexes which implies women are equal to men and what a man can do, a woman can do.

It is recognized that an organization should have a general manager or managing director or a chief executive officer (CEO) to control its affairs and give direction. But when it comes to marriage, societies are made to feel couples should operate as equals. Rejecting the idea of a man being the head of the family and the wife being his assistant makes a marital relationship less effective and prone to failure and akin to running a movement, organization, business, or country with two centers of authority or power.

Creates mental health problems  

The fifth lie which you should not believe is that the institution of marriage creates mental problems among mates. Scientific research has for a long time noted that married men and women enjoy better mental health compared to other groups of people. Single, divorced, separated, and widowed persons have higher levels of stress, depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders compared to married couples.

Studies present marriages as the best medicine for mental problems because partners can cushion each other from debilitating factors like stress, anxiety, and loneliness known to ignite physical and psychological health problems. The health benefits of a long-term marriage are far too many than those offered by a cohabiting relationship. Married men and women can only experience mental health disorders if they are not relating well with each other.

Leaves one spouse overworked

The sixth lie you should not believe is that the institution of marriage leaves one person badly overworked. Such often is the case in marriages with conflicts and not among husbands and wives who are on good terms with each other. Good partners assist each other in all ways, and none of them feels giving too much of themselves is wrong and tiresome. 

Trends witnessed in most parts of the world today show more men are helping their wives with household work than in previous decades. There has also been a growing increase of stay-at-home husbands engaging in work traditionally reserved for women. Women are also getting to work for an income that can assist their family in one way or another, leaving their husbands with time for resting and relaxing as they pursue their responsibilities.

Can work without guidelines 

The last lie you should not believe is that the institution of marriage can operate without some well-defined guidelines. Persons and groups who claim married couples can live as they want are lying or misguided. Failure by mates to live with a definite set of laws that can govern their conduct and relationship is one of the reasons many marriages collapse.

Evidence has shown marriages work well when husband and wife live by laws established to govern human relationships. People are never aware that relationships abhor partners who, for instance, flout laws, statutes, ordinances, and commandments against involvement in abusive, violent, immoral, and self-centered behavior. The more a person lives by sound laws of conduct, the more he will have a successful life and marriage.

Falsehoods will affect your future marital relationship    

It should be apparent to you that entering marriage when believing lies about that institution will affect your ability and desire to produce good relations with your spouse. A falsehood has the power to destabilize your life and make progress and stability quite impossible. Falsehoods also hinder the establishment and maintenance of peace and love and unity in relationships!

The lies flying around about the institution of marriage and other issues are created and made widespread by Satan, the devil, whose work is to make life and relationships unhappy and dangerous for humans of all countries. He does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him and is the father of lies (John 8:44; Revelation 12:9). The following examples show what can happen if you enter a relationship while believing a falsehood about that institution.

Example from Ontario in Canada

Take, for instance, the case of 33-year-old Rosalie from Toronto in Canada who lost an excellent opportunity to live with a nice guy because one of her relatives often told her men were beasts out to destroy women. She had this to tell single mothers wishing to get married:

Mark was a highly respected and loved young man in our area. The reason was that he did not abuse alcohol or drugs or associate with bad guys or move around with girls. He was humble and polite to all people. I was the only girl Mark wanted in his life. I repeatedly turned down Mark's proposal for marriage because my divorced aunt told me he was a beast like every other man in the world. She said Mark would change a lot once I became his wife. I took her words as the gospel truth.

Rosalie also added: A few years down the line, Mark finally married a young lady of African descent whom he treated like a queen. They have a great marriage that has produced a wonderful son. I feel bad when I recall having lost the opportunity to become Mark's wife and be getting the honor he accords that woman from South Africa. It especially pains me to know my three children are from three irresponsible guys whom I slept with in my life of wild partying.

Case from Victoria in Australia

Also, consider the case of 47-year-old William from Melbourne in Australia who acquired a sexual disease because of having been taught that casual sex is better than marital sex and marriage was useless and boring. A journal dealing with sexual health quoted him as having said:

In my early twenties, Angela quite often told me she was ready to become my legally wedded wife. She would insist I was the man of her dreams, and she would never look for another guy if I were not willing to marry her. We had known each other since childhood. She would have made a wonderful wife and mother of our future offspring. But friends often said casual sex produces better sexual experiences than sex in marriage. To them, marriage was for fools in churches and not for intelligent and world-loving guys like us.

William also confessed: I believed my friends and adopted promiscuity as my way of life. But what followed was a health problem that eventually turned out to be cancer brought about by my habit of indulging in casual sex with women who came my way. I wish I had married Angela and had avoided all forms of sexually immoral practices. I would be a healthy man with a happy marriage! I now know church people who believe in marriage are not fools, as friends used to say. I envy born-again Christians who have happy marriages and great health because of avoiding immoral and wicked practices.

Testimony from Tokyo in Japan

And finally, think of the case of 39-year-old Yuto from Tokyo, Japan, who was divorced by his wife for disregarding marital laws. He told a group of close friends:

Momoka was a soft-spoken and obedient lady who worked hard to make me happy and took diligent care. But my mind told me she was doing all that because I had money and that she could never leave me for another man. I started being harsh to her. I would come home late at night or be away with other women for some days. She tolerated all that and much more until the day I beat her up for not preparing our evening meal on time.

Yuto concluded: After the beating, Momoka called her parents and two siblings to our home, who took her away. I later heard they had sent her to Nigeria and that she had wed a man she had rejected years earlier so she could be my wife. I must have been a very naïve person. Disregarding the law of peace in marriage, which prohibits all forms of violence, is what led to the break up of my marriage.

The fact you should never forget

You obviously cannot succeed in a relationship if you hold wrong views about it. Keith Dindi, a well-known heart surgeon in Kenya, has stated: You can never outperform your belief. If you expect drama in marriage, you shall beget drama. That is why you need to be deliberate in sowing good and 100 percent commitment, and you will surely reap. (Mills et al.)

His wife, Esther, also a recognized physician, has noted: Talks about marriage out there have mostly been negative. If you listen to radio talks, there's a lot of nastiness about marriage, and society sadly is normalizing that aspect that leans on the darker side of the spectrum. That shows you need to be careful with negative things society tells you about the institution of marriage. Such lies cannot allow you to have a happy and fulfilling relationship with your future husband or wife.

3. Major Reasons Why You Should Not Think of Getting Married

Not all people are qualified to be in a marital relationship. The kind of conditioning such men and women have experienced cannot allow them to live with a member of the opposite gender. These persons are normal like everybody else but do not have what it takes to live with a spouse.

Unknown to the contemporary world is a growing number of individuals who are not marriageable. The existence of incompetent, unqualified, and unskilled marriage mates partly explains why the institution of marriage is losing its shine in most regions of the earth. You should understand the state of marriage and divorce in your country before you decide to get into marriage.

Marriage failure in New Zealand

The amazing people of New Zealand seem uninterested in long-term marital relationships. Marriage rates in this nation of over 5 million people went down from 45.49 percent in 1971 to 30.71 percent in 1982 and 10.98 percent in 2018. Rates of marital failure climbed from 5.1 percent in 1971 to 17.1 percent in 1982 before plummeting and standing at 7.7 percent in 2018.

Marriage failure in South Korea

The great men and women of South Koreans are also having difficulties maintaining marital relationships. One researcher has observed that while marriage rates in the Asian nation have been decreasing every year, the divorce rate does not show any signs of decrease. By 2017, the divorce rate in that land of over 50 million inhabitants was 4.4 per 1,000 people. 

Marriage failure in South Africa

In 2018, the crude divorce rate in South Africa, which has over 58 million inhabitants, was 44 divorces per 100,000 people. About 27.3 percent of divorces were of couples who had been together 5 to 9 years. Twenty percent of marital relationships that collapsed were couples who had been together for 10 and 14 years, while about 17 percent had stayed together for less than five years.

A negative mindset can create marital problems!

Husbands and wives in South Africa, South Korea, New Zealand, and other nations have problems that could affect your future marriage if you harbor a mental disposition that makes you unmarriageable. The chances of being psychologically and physically damaged by your future spouse or hurting your marital partner are high if you lack proper knowledge of the nature and requirements of a marital relationship. Briefly mentioned here are reasons why you should postpone marriage until such a time you will have developed healthy attitudes towards people and relationships:

Hatred for members of the opposite sex

The first reason you should not think of getting married is if you hate men or women. People who despise members of the opposite gender often end up living alone. Their attitude and behavior repel male or female friends who may want a relationship with them or those they would personally wish to marry.

A fallout between gender-biased individuals and members of the opposite sex often occurs a few days or weeks after their first encounter. Problems also exist in homes where a gender-hating person lives with a member of the opposite sex. Gender-biased individuals are often hated, abused, divorced, or even killed by their partners.

Dislike for submitting to authority  

The second reason you should not think of getting married is if you have a personal dislike for submitting to authority. Such an attitude cannot make the marriage work or succeed. A spirit of insubordination on your part will create endless conflicts in your future marriage.

The success of a marital relationship depends on mates' willingness to submit to each other. Men and women who hate the idea of obeying other people often have poor marriages and end up being divorced or abused. A person longing to have a stress-free relationship in the future will need to start listening to people holding authority over his life long before moving into marriage.

Belief marriage engenders enslavement!   

The third reason you should not think of getting married is if you have a personal feeling that marriage enslaves one partner or both mates. This kind of thinking has been wrecking marriages since it came into existence in the early 20th century. Divorce and abuse are, for instance, widespread in communities where women refuse to fulfill their obligations under the pretext they are being enslaved by their spouses.

A man or woman who thinks serving his spouse is a form of enslavement will never develop a happy relationship with him. Such a person spends his life whining or fighting his spouse and creating a bad life for both of them. Such misguided thinking, attitude, or behavior leads to problems that can cause a break-up of the marriage.

Loathing for children 

The fourth reason you should not think of getting married is if you dislike children for any reason. The nature of marital relationships is that children will naturally come along sooner than expected. Men and women who hate children tend to create problems in their marriage.

A couple