Unlock Your Confidence

By M.G. Moon

You can withstand the mental agitation that comes with the daily grind and the usual problems that life brings. You don't have to accept a mediocre life. You can let the universe guide you and set you on a path made for you. 

 

Starting today, you can begin a beautiful new life. You can start a new journey to learn who you are without worrying about what others think of you. No matter what you believe about yourself today - no matter what others have said about you - you are worthy of falling in love with yourself. 

 

You no longer have to fear the consequences of taking action, being decisive, assertive, and confident. You can begin a new life filled with fearlessness as you watch your self-worth grow. 

 

From today onwards, you are worthy of respect, dignity, praise, a better life, and every good thing life has to bring you! Say goodbye to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Say goodbye to letting people walk all over you and never standing up for yourself. You are unique and wonderful as you embrace attracting new people and opportunities to your life!

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: M.G. Moon
• Release date: May 19, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201706678

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

My entire life, I always felt too marked: too visible. I always felt awkward, as though I was too different from the norm. It didn't help that, coming from a traditional immigrant family, I was expected to follow traditions unwaveringly. My sibling, happy to follow traditions, only served to make me look even more like the black sheep by comparison.

I always did things differently than my family, but this never translated into self-confidence. In fact, being different often made me stand out in stark contrast to those around me who fit in perfectly. No matter how much I wanted to - and no matter how much I tried to force myself, I could never speak or act with true confidence. Paralyzed by fear and possible judgement, I would always let people say whatever they wanted to me without speaking up for myself. I never fought back.

By the time I began physician assistant (PA-C) school many years later, my lack of confidence had grown into a problem. After a lifetime of not always speaking my mind and allowing others to steamroll over me, feeling as though I could never stand up for myself, it became something I was used to. I could see no other alternative. Low self-worth became so ingrained in me that I would never speak my mind. Even my school professors and mentors began to speak to me condescendingly. Naturally, their disrespect upset me greatly, yet I allowed it, swallowing my indignation at their injustice. With no self-esteem, and with doubtful thoughts occupying my mind constantly, I wasn't able to take on social situations with the confidence I needed to thrive.

During one particularly small group clinical medicine class, we were asked to figure out a diagnosis for a patient. In my head, I knew the correct diagnosis for this patient, yet I doubted myself. Even after I spoke up, I allowed others to shut me down because I did not believe in myself. I did not speak with confidence because of my crippling self-doubt and the words came out with a stutter. Finally, my professor, without any tact, said to me: You need to learn how to speak. I will never forget it. I cried the rest of the day. Still, my fear, anxiety and shame were not enough to jolt me into unlocking my confidence, for my mind or my life.

I soon moved on to clinical rotations, where I faced the same problem. I knew my patients' diagnoses, but I was so shattered after my professor's comments that I could not speak without rippling doubt in what I was saying. I believed I would never live a fulfilling life free of fear, anxiety, and self-doubt and low self-esteem.

If you are like me, then you will recognize all these signs. Lack of confidence seems to be your name. You run away from social situations, and from trying new things, causing you to lose out on great opportunities in life. For others, you may have learned that nobody cares about you, so you learn to do things on your own. What's more, you don't stand up for yourself, allowing yourself to be walked over or taken advantage of. You are reading this book because your lack of confidence is running your life, taking over every good thing in your life and making it bad. Perhaps you feel hopeless, with no hope for change, leading to anxious and depressive feelings. You are reading this book because you want answers. You want solutions to your problem so that you can be free to live life as it was intended - in freedom and with confidence.

When I turned 26, something clicked. I spoke up for myself for the first time and the response I received was life changing. I cannot tell you why I spoke up but the words just came out. I prayed on becoming a more confident person to continue to pursue bigger things in life. One of my first jobs as a PA-C tried to push as many patients as possible on me, giving me no work-life balance. I am a strong proponent of work-life balance and never believed in working until you dropped. I refused to ever do that to myself. Perhaps after a lifetime of holding things in certain situations, I was simply at my wit's end, but I spoke up. I refused to work myself to death just to see a higher capacity of patients. Instead, I chose to create a huge gap in my schedule to decompress. It was intimidating and I didn't know how my job would react, but, even with all this, speaking up for myself was one of the best feelings of my entire life. I never looked back. Ever since then, my voice has grown stronger, my respect for myself has grown, and my self-love has grown bigger. I realized that your light shines bright and, in life, people may try to dim this light if there is any sign of weakness. In another instance, I remember that I was told by a doctor my job was to assist them and that is what I went to school for. I told him absolutely not and my job is to work with you. After standing up for myself, I gained respect from him and he treated me as such. Unfortunately for many of us we don't escape childhood without being told, inadvertently or purposefully, that we are bad people when we allow our light to shine. If we win a competition, for example, we are chastised not to boast because it will make others feel bad. If we dress up nicely because we feel like it, we are asked why we are dressed up and can be ridiculed for being attention-seeking. When our light shines bright, unfortunately, there are numerous people who are desperate to dim it because they are envious that theirs doesn't seem to shine as bright as yours. But, they too have this light, they just do not see it within themselves.

My new mindset has opened endless opportunities in many aspects of my life. I was not comfortable keeping the knowledge I gained to myself. Rather, I felt a deep desire to help others bring out their inner voices. Sharing with them my journey towards learning to love myself and know my worth. Hence, I will teach you how to accept yourself and turn any self-doubting thoughts into positive thoughts. I will give you the tools to learn how to calm your body from any reactive responses from fears. In this book, you will also learn how to set your life goals from a position of power, peace, confidence and dignity.

As a young woman, I have also learned that I have to develop my confidence in order to survive in a patriarchal world. This has given me even more motivation to seek the answers to developing confidence in a dominating society. Indeed, as a young adult, life can be tough, no matter who you are. You are learning how to navigate a world that seems to be built on domination, manipulation, oppression and snuffing out the lights of others. During the COVID-19 pandemic, I worked with many patients from all backgrounds and walks of life. I worked in New York City and Los Angeles in a hospital setting, and in testing sites, I was able to interact with everyone. Whether low-income or high-income, whatever race, religion, or sex, I always found that there are some people who survive in this world by learning how to be arrogant. They develop a huge sense of entitlement and choose to crush others to feed on other people's light and happiness. They may try to walk on you for the benefit of themselves. But you want to be better. You want to learn how to unlock the confidence within without tearing others down for your ego's sake. You want to have high self-esteem so that you can face your fears and accept yourself fully and wonderfully, both for your flaws and your strengths. In short, you want to bring out your best self, armed with the knowledge that you can take on any situation without doubt clouding your mind or forcing you to retreat.

By following all the steps set out in this book, I learned how to keep my confidence high, even as I navigated some of life’s greatest challenges, whether relationships, career, health or anything else. You can too, by following all the steps set out in this book. So, if you are ready to become the best version of yourself that you can be, let's begin.

CHAPTER 1

ACCEPTING & LOVING YOURSELF

Self-compassion is one of the most important things that you need in this life. It is the ability to love yourself and show yourself empathy, patience and kindness regardless of your actions, your words, your successes, and your failures. Self-compassion stifles self-criticism and self-hate, allowing you to love yourself exactly as you are. In essence, self-compassion offers you the gift of unending, undemanding and complete love.

I want you to pause to really think about it. When you were a child at school and you made a mistake, you were often told off seriously and without compassion by your teachers. At home, you may have faced the same from