Respect: A Rotarian Passion

By Dr. Leonard J. Hutt

Respect: A Rotarian Passion; Stories of Service Above Self is an ebook that enhances the author's earlier print publication, Faces of Respect: Service Above Self (Overland Press, 2017; ISBN 978-0-9949070-6-6). This book highlights and enhances the work of the 2017 print edition, and adds an additional chapter illustrating the strength and resourcefulness of a youthful, engaging Rotarian partner, the Rotaractor Clubs.

 

Even for the sociologists and organizational enthusiasts it poses a philosophical adventure. It implicitly reminds the reader to set aside stereotypical positions. It is a brave new world, so although it might be hard to do, we must open our eyes to the future and build a path to let it through. Sustainability is key.

While reading this book, I invite you to see the hope and the future in our youth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dr. Leonard J. Hutt
• Release date: Mar 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201616571

Book preview

Preface

Respect: A Rotarian Passion; Stories of Service Above Self is an ebook that enhances the author’s earlier print publication, Faces of Respect: Service Above Self (Overland Press, 2017; ISBN 978-0-9949070-6-6). This book highlights and enhances the work of the 2017 print edition, and adds an additional chapter illustrating the strength and resourcefulness of a youthful, engaging Rotarian partner, the Rotaractor Clubs.

Even for the sociologists and organizational enthusiasts it poses a philosophical adventure. It implicitly reminds the reader to set aside stereotypical positions. It is a brave new world, so although it might be hard to do, we must open our eyes to the future and build a path to let it through. Sustainability is key.

While reading this book, I invite you to see the hope and the future in our youth.

Dedication

Acknowledgements

My sincere thanks to my daughter Tanya whose painstaking endeavours, patience and tenacity made the production of this ebook a reality. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you to George and Len, wherever they are. Their dialogue also provides the background for this ebook.

Structure of The Book

The cornerstone of this book is a collection of engaging interviews with people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives. The narrative is a series of thoughtful discussions between George and Len, two characters who aim to define respect. Their dialogue furthers the reader’s insight into an unfolding analysis.

The book is divided into six major parts, each with a life and contribution of its own. It is important to note that the final chapter introduces Bernice, a new character, whose youth and developing research skills enhance the dialogue between George and Len, and highlight the potential and importance of the Rotaractor sector in Rotary's sustainability. The addition of Bernice reminds the reader of the major role respect plays in our organizational and everyday lives.

Part I - Defining Respect

This part has two sections. Toward a Definition of Respect shares frank responses to the question What does the word Respect mean to you? The second section, Going Deeper, provides a fuller understanding of respect. It provides reflections of how respect manifests in the lives of the people that were interviewed, and illustrates how they experienced respect (or lack of it) in their lives.

Part II - Respect in Action - Stories the Long and Short of It

This is a series of stories from the lives of our participants. The reader is warmed up with anecdotes demonstrating respect in both humorous and serious situations. There are lessons learned and lessons to live by. These are followed by several longer stories; all are very engaging and enlightening.

Part III - Respect in Management Philosophy and Practice

This part provides both a macro and a micro view of respect in management. The interviewees discuss how they observe the manifestation of respect in the work world. It starts with a few short scenarios, then zeros-in on the dynamics of making respect a part of the work environment.

Part IV - The Philanthropic Characteristic of a True Professional

This part provides a glimpse into the life of a professional lawyer who has an early childhood experience that strongly influences his development into a true philanthropist.

Part V - Living Respect in a Service Club Environment

This is based on an interview with a prominent and greatly respected Rotary Club member. His reflections provide a look inside a Service Club’s attempt to embody the very essence of respect when ‘the rubber hits the road’. It provides a look at the intricacies and personal challenges involved when an organization and its members attempt to live respect to its fullest.

Part VI - The Finale

This final part introduces Bernice, a new and younger character whose ambition is to become a social or behavioural scientist. In this pursuit she researches and reflects on the essence of the Rotarian structure and ultimately finds a rather obscure membership category which she diligently projects to be a major player that promises to breathe new life into the future of an aging Rotary organization. 

Enjoy this ebook edition!

Part I - Defining Respect

Toward a Definition of Respect

Here, at the start of our journey, we meet Len and George, two fictitious characters. Similarities to persons living or dead, is purely coincidental.

George is a tall, slightly greying, casually dressed middle aged man. He appears stern but at the same time gentle. He is a well-organized and very detail-oriented type of person; diligent, tenacious and always well prepared. He is a soft spoken rule-follower with a clear sense of right and wrong.

George has a reverence toward authority. His perception of things is either black or white with little, if any grey. There is, however, a slim chance that given the right evidence and motivation, George is capable of being convinced that another point of view just might have merit. He can be very empathetic and understanding, which really connects him with Len.

Like George, Len is middle aged. He is of average height, with salt and pepper hair. Len needs explanations and answers to almost everything, and is always seeking knowledge. He likes to observe, reflect, and understand.

Len is an independent thinker who sees the big picture. In order to grasp a deeper understanding, he drills down to the roots of the matter. He can also easily go in reverse, from the roots or facts to the conceptual.

To any outsider, Len and George may seem like opposites, and it is most likely their shared empathy towards others that connects them. The final glue to their compatibility is their shared determination to make sense of everything. This drives an enviable discourse and friendship.

The two friends have a history of sharing philosophical ideas over lattés in a local café. Len, after being away for almost two years, goes to the coffee house to meet George. As Len reaches the table, George rises and they engage in a hearty handshake. Both smile and are obviously anticipating the pleasure of sharing their experiences of the past two years.

So, Len, let's catch up. What have you been up to since we last met? I certainly miss our conversations. They are always exhilarating, fun, and informative. I suspect after your travels you have lots to share.

Len looks very pleased and agrees with George’s comments regarding the richness of their meetings. Len smiles Remember, our early conversations about respect and my keen interest in carrying out some research on the topic? Well, I pursued it, and found that I spent most of the last two years devoted to the project. As a result, I’ve been talking with people in Kamloops, British Columbia, and Toronto, Ontario, and even on that happy island of Aruba. I was interested in hearing what others believe respect is and how they have experienced it in their lives. I have now come back home to explore my notes and transcripts of the recorded interviews. The data is giving me a closer look at that somewhat elusive and perhaps even illusive word Respect". At this point the data suggest that there is no one meaning, and that the meanings and experiences are both personal and diverse.

"I was hoping that we would meet up, and I brought along a small assortment of transcripts from the interviews. I’d like to share these with you and I hope to solicit your much-valued responses to them.

Many things in our everyday life have a connection with Respect.

Len takes a sip of his latté, reaches into his knapsack, and searches through the pages of the transcribed recordings. "Of course, I’m a long way from finishing the analysis of my research, but I feel comfortable sharing it with you. I trust you will not be too judgmental in my still evolving work. Your input is, as usual, very valuable to me.

"When I first started this research, I wanted to explore the varied definitions that people might have for the word Respect. One of my first interview questions was simply, ‘What does the word Respect mean to you?’ Not surprisingly I received a large variety of responses to that question.

Here’s the first response:

I don’t know what it means, exactly what it means. That’s a very, very, very big word. It has a lot of meanings. Respect is something that you can make people respect, and respect comes from how you deal with people, I think. And respect is something that you will, in the long run, earn. You cannot buy respect.

George frowns and says, "I find his words ‘Respect is something that you can make people respect’ rather engaging. Initially I just chalked that sentence up to a play on words, or perhaps a grammatical error. But when I stop to listen to the words, this rather subtle characteristic of Respect speaks loudly. Respect itself merits Respect.

"I would like to ask, how often do we acknowledge an act that is clearly respectful? Do we recognize a respectful act when we experience one? Do we stop and let others know that we are aware of the respect being shown? I would suggest that we are more inclined to notice, or comment on, the lack of respect than on the showing of respect.

"I believe that this person is also suggesting that there are many meanings to the word. To me it suggests that we use the word all the time without paying much attention to its actual meaning.We also believe that others are on the same page of understanding. That can certainly be false. It is clear that the response acknowledges the broadness of the term.

I want to acknowledge two thoughts. One is that you can teach people to honour Respect. The other is the idea that Respect must be earned, it cannot be bought.

Len responds, Great start George, your input hints at complexity, and we are only just getting started. This second response opens the door to disrespect, which we will visit much later. But here is an abbreviated response.

I think that respect is a language we communicate with. It can, however, be disrespectful, or it can be respectful.

George says, "I agree that it can be a ‘language’ in itself. It has the ability to broadcast a clear or conversely a subtle message. As implied, that message can have a positive or a negative flavour. While the negative approach could lead to some rather unpleasant possibilities, the positive approach can be very uplifting. Respect is like a two-sided coin. On the one side we have respect, on the other side, disrespect. The experience might depend on whether we are the sender or the receiver of the message. Although the sender might be communicating a positive message, the receiver might still interpret the message as negative. There are several reasons for the different interpretations. A power difference between the two people might affect the interpretation. Two different personality types might result in the disparity. There is a personality type whose behaviour can often appear to be aloof or sarcastic to others, even when that is not their intent. Another factor is that the words used, or even the body language of the sender, may interfere with the intended interpretation.

"The receiver of the message might have different interpretations of the intent behind the speaker’s words or behaviour based on their own values or experience. The intent might be misinterpreted. In order to correctly understand the tone and content of the message, we need to be clear about the perspectives of those involved.

Respect, or lack of it, can be reflected in the words or the tone used by either party. Finally, interpretations can be coloured by cultural backgrounds.

Len adds, Good points George. There is a lot to consider. It gets complicated once we start to look deeper. We will most likely expand on this later, but we should move on now. The next response adds yet another facet to the complexity.

I respect a lot of people based on a fairly narrow judgment that has to do with honesty, the integrity of a person, one’s work ethic and how they deal with others. Respect is something one has to earn. Not everyone has my respect.

George responds, "The message suggests that the degree of Respect that someone has, is often grounded in shared values such as honesty and work ethic, as well as behaviour. It echoes the earlier suggestion that Respect is not freely given, it must be earned. Whether or not one earns that Respect, is the result of a personal judgement.

There is an element of judgment to Respect. The potential danger there is that Respect may be lost on one bad decision, even if you fully respected the person a moment earlier. There is always an inherent or lingering potential danger of a shift in perspective.

Len replies, The suggestion is that granting Respect depends on whether or not the observed behaviour measures up to the standard of the observer. I found it interesting that the person also added another comment on the observation.

I guess it would be the recognition that there is something to be observed and to be governed by.

George adds, "It echoes the previous ideas, but also proposes that power is inherent in Respect. The suggestion that Respect can be a control or guidance mechanism is intriguing. The words ‘to be observed and to be governed by’ speak loudly to me. Respect might have some implicit power that can influence one’s own behaviour and expectations, and potentially the behaviour of others."

Len says, "I agree with both of those comments and I promise we will pursue them later. Next, we look at Respect in relation to the family. The following remark takes us to the home environment."

I respect a lot of people, I respect my wife because she is a good person; my children have grown up to be good, straight, hardworking, honourable people so I respect that.

Again, we see that Respect can be observed and is value-based. The values expressed here are honourable and hardworking. The degree to which they are important is, of course, in the eye of the beholder. To what extent must one be honourable or hardworking in order to gain that Respect? Would that extent be linked to being a family member? If so, would there be a tendency to be more or less tolerant toward a family member? says George. Does the person you respect know that you respect them, or is it a hidden inward feeling?

Len replies, You pose some interesting questions about the links between Respect and family. There are, of course, other concepts that can be considered to be linked to Respect. Let’s see how you relate to this response.

I think respect and authority go hand-in-hand. People in authority, parents, older people, and yes, teachers, have a certain amount of respect in this society.

George says, "I agree that there is a connection. We should however, not overlook the cultural context. In some cultures, for example, the elders hold a very prominent and highly respected status. In other cultures the elderly are viewed disparagingly. So, it depends. Tradition can override everything.

Also, while one might have Respect for a position or role, one might not respect the person occupying that role. That person might not be qualified or seen as credible for the position, and are not seen as worthy of the Respect inherent to the position. Again we see that judgment is closely related to Respect. We might perceive that the authority figure is abusing the power of their position or using it unethically, to the detriment of others. This could occur within an organizational, societal, or even familial context.

Len adds, Obviously the definition of Respect keeps getting more complex. As one person suggested, it can be captured in a single word, that is deep in significance, and also has interesting ramifications.

Tolerance is another term for respect.

George replies, "Right off the bat, I think about judgments. As we have said, judgments are framed in the eye of the beholder. Empathy, understanding or even forgiveness might come into play. One’s background and experience, along with values, can shape and colour that judgment.

When one person is being tolerant with another, are they really being respectful? Or are they just persevering? It seems simple, but at the same time it is not simple.

Len continues, The following comment is a rather common theme.

I can tell you that respect actually is treating everybody like you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes.

George replies, "Immediately I think that this implies that both the giver and the receiver of Respect operate on the same understanding. The question then arises about whether it is better to understand than to be understood.

"Some might rationalize their own behaviour while condemning similar behaviour from others. On the positive side, though, I see that empathy, fairness and perhaps equality are among the main components of tolerance. Empathy rather than sympathy is the most important element for me. If you have sincere empathy, your range of tolerance will likely expand.

"If Respect has to do with treating everybody like you would like to be treated, then I have to ask, Why don’t more people do just that? I don’t think that there is a simple answer to my question. And don’t forget that there are those who believe that they themselves are not worthy of Respect. So that raises the question: If they don’t think they are worthy, then how would they like to be treated? The idea of self-esteem merits investigation."

Len continues, I agree with your comment about empathy versus sympathy. The next quote I want to share starts with a somewhat conditional or paradoxical relationship between trust and Respect.

How I operate and always have when I approach people, is that everyone has my trust in the first instance. That means you have to lose my trust, but you have to gain my respect! And I believe that’s an important distinction. Also, I think respect is very general. You can’t have respect for only one person, but you have to have it for humankind, in varying degrees, of course I mean, I guess maybe respect is acknowledgement of what a person is as a person.

George responds, "Personally, I don’t automatically trust everyone. I find that when I meet someone for the first time I am usually in a cautious mode. I initially hesitate to trust. I’m not saying that they must earn my trust, but I’m cautious before I extend my trust. I need to see if their behaviour will give me cause not to trust them. I’m being somewhat self-protective. I also have to admit that how much trust I’m willing to extend depends on how much risk is involved, and what might be at stake.

"I agree that Respect must be earned before it is given. But again, that depends on what it is that I’m respecting. Is it the person, or is it something else? Regarding the quote, it is interesting that this person starts in a trusting mode and then transitions to commenting on Respect. To him everyone is trustworthy until they prove otherwise. If there is a breach of one’s trust, then that trust is lost. It follows then that if you do not trust a person, you could not respect that person.

It is also clear that although initially he freely gives his trust to people, he does not automatically give Respect to others. He insists that Respect must be earned! On his other point, I’m puzzled about his stance that in order to have respect for a person one must have respect for mankind as a whole. That claim is one I will have to ponder a little longer. Real trust means you can be repeatedly and consistently relied upon by those who need you; for example, family, employees, and colleagues.

Len adds: Yes, it probably needs more thought. So, let’s move to one that suggests there are some benefits to showing Respect.

If you have respect for a person and you get it across to them, I think it makes a person feel good. And they could be more productive, and they could do a lot more in whatever their talents are.

George responds, Well, I certainly agree with both aspects of that one. People who are shown Respect feel better, and it might also encourage them to become even more productive. Giving or showing someone Respect has benefits for all concerned.

Len summarizes, "From the examples it seems clear that the definitions and attributes of Respect are varied, broadly based, somewhat allusive and perhaps at times illusive. The examples also indicate