Advice of an Old Man

By Winfred Henson

 "Advice of an Old Man," attempts to tease out your heart's true stance by asking a lot of sensible questions on over fifty of life's pertinent topics, then pointing out a proven way.

 

 Always ready with a question, a hypothetical scenario, or an historical example, this book takes the reader across most sides of the issue in question. After hearing some of these pearls of wisdom, it will be hard to lay this book down. So don't lay it down. Accept the old man's advice.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Winfred Henson
• Release date: Sep 25, 2021
• ISBN: 9780988722125

Winfred Henson

In the early eighties, Winfred attended the College of Health Related Professions where he studied Respiratory Therapy. He finished his class with honors and settled at a children's hospital in Arkansas where he manned the Emergency Department for over thirty-five years. He has seen and assisted in countless asthma cases where a more robust asthma education might have been the difference between life and death.  In many respects, this book represents a distillation of Winfred’s decades of experience now being made available to the asthma community.

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Friendship

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m sure that we all have our ideas about friendship but the above statement is certainly true. This expectation of friendship that there must be reciprocality between the parties is not a point of difference. We all instinctively know this. But, of course, there will always be those who want a friend as long as they don’t have to be a friend. Those who are willing to feign friendly affection until they’re asked inevitably for proof of their own friendship. Then the jig is up and the limits of their friendship pop painfully into view.

I believe that virtually all friendships have common characteristics. I’ll mention a few here and they are not meant to be exhaustive. Mutual vulnerability, reciprocity, and reliability are three of those characteristics which come immediately to mind. I’m referring only to real friendship. The kind that you would want to have for yourself. These ‘real’ friendships are as rare as precious stones and should be guarded and protected just as if they were actual precious stones.

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

History has recorded the account of two famous friends who displayed these characteristics in abundance and stand as a worthy model from which all of us can learn.

During the early history of Israel, a young man performed an incredibly heroic feat that brought him attention from the king. This young man had interceded for an army when he defeated a giant in man-to-man combat. Suddenly the young man, whose name was David, was popular nationwide. The king even invited David to eat at the king’s table so great was David’s esteem and national popularity. Being now closely associated with the king’s household, David became best friends with the king’s son Jonathan.

Now, before I delve into the details of this relationship, let me tell you a little about the king.

His name was Saul and he had already demonstrated himself to be a capable and politically astute leader. Shortly after becoming king, he had defeated one of Israel’s most persistently troublesome enemies, the Ammonites. Saul knew how to keep his finger on the pulse of his people. He knew when his popularity surged and he knew when his popularity waned. This was a king who jealously guarded his power and his sovereignty as king.

After David slew the giant, the social network was abuzz with his name and what he’d done for the country. But of course, there was no Facebook or Twitter at that time but the people did immortalize his deed within a song and this song was starting to be heard all over the country. This didn’t sit too well with Saul. The king felt that David was actually becoming a threat to his power and position and that’s when Saul started planning David’s demise.

David would sometimes play the harp for the king to calm him when the king was in bad moods. During one of these times, Saul, the king, flung a

spear at David intending to kill him but David dodged the spear and escaped. It became clear to David that Saul wanted him dead and if the king wants you dead, what chance do you have?

But David had a real friend in the king’s son Jonathan. David went to Jonathan and asked him why the king wanted him dead. Jonathan didn’t believe that his dad wanted David dead. He assured David that the king tells him everything and he’d know if the king had such intentions towards David. Nevertheless, he asked what he could do to help.

So a plan was outlined. A holiday was coming up and David had recently been spending virtually all holidays at the palace in the company of the king’s household. David decided to miss this holiday with the royal family and hide out in a nearby field. He asked Jonathan to explain his absence to the king as an opportunity to visit his own family for that holiday. If, David reasoned, the king was ok with Jonathan’s explanation for his absence, then David would be willing to accept that perhaps he was mistaken about the king’s true intentions. But, if Saul became irate that he wasn’t at his table, then David knew that his anger would be proof that David was right and his life was truly in danger.

I mentioned mutual vulnerability as a characteristic of real friendship. Each was fully committed to the other. One was no less willing to bear danger or harm than the other. So that you can appreciate the danger that Jonathan was taking upon himself by agreeing to help his friend David, it is appropriate that I recount an incident that occurred involving Jonathan and his father Saul.

Before David and Jonathan met, Saul led his armies in a campaign against the Philistines. During that campaign, Jonathan acquitted himself

very heroically against an outpost of the opposing army. Jonathan and his shieldbearer alone caused great confusion to arise within the Philistine camp. So much so that the Philistines, being confused and bewildered, retreated from the area of battle. Saul, the Israelite king, and his army gave chase. Saul commanded that no one should eat anything until he had vengeance on his enemies.

Now Jonathan was not with the main army group when Saul made that declaration and he was quite unaware of Saul’s edict. Soon he rejoined them and when, in the course of their pursuit, he ate something, part of a honeycomb he picked up from the ground, Saul would have killed him but for the intervention of his army who would not permit it. So Saul demonstrated that he was perfectly willing to kill his own son for breaking his command. I’m sure he would have certainly killed Jonathan for helping David who Saul had, at that time, numbered with his enemies.

Jonathan’s commitment to helping David placed his life as a friend in as much jeopardy as David’s own life. Do you have a friend like that? Could you be a friend like that? You might have a friend like Jonathan was to David but you wouldn’t know it until some dire circumstance revealed it to you. And you might think that you’re the kind of friend that Jonathan was to David. Maybe you are but it will take one of life’s difficult decisions to determine whether you are or not.

In David’s later years after he’d become king, he had another very good friend who placed himself in great danger to help David escape with his life.

Hushai was David’s friend. After David’s son Absalom had turned much of Israel against David and was actively seeking David’s life, his friend Hushai agreed to go undercover to thwart his son’s plans to capture and kill him.

This is quite significant when you pause just a moment to consider it. Hushai was willing to place his very life in jeopardy to assist David in the saving of his own life and kingdom. Absalom had no beef with Hushai so Hushai could have simply kept his head down and waited until the bloodletting ceased. He could then have resumed his life probably much as he had before. But Hushai was a real friend. David’s problem became Hushai’s problem. And David didn’t have to ask Hushai how he stood on the matter of whether he would stand with his friend or not, David could see Hushai’s allegiance on his countenance and posture.

You see, at this time in history and within this community of people, whenever someone was greatly distressed they would tear their clothes and put dust on their head to broadcast their dismay to whoever looked their way. As David fled from his son, he saw Hushai and his clothes were torn and he had dust on his head. Hushai was making it clear that David’s situation was Hushai’s situation. Standing with David at this time when many had aligned themselves with Absalom was not for the faint of heart. Hushai was about to demonstrate the definition of a real friend.

You can’t truly appreciate the risk Hushai was taking until you’ve been given a little insight into the type of man Absalom was. Several years before this attempted coup, Absalom killed his brother. A rough outline of why and how that fratricide happened follows.

One of Absalom's half brothers, Amnon, had a deep infatuation with Absalom’s sister, Tamar. He wanted her so badly that his lustful desire for her disrupted his life and made his distraction noticeable to others. A wily acquaintance of Amnon’s helped Amnon devise a plan to get Tamar alone. Amnon pretended to be sick. He asked his father David to send Tamar to nurse him back to health. When she came to his house she prepared food

for him. He sent all of his other servants out of the house and asked Tamar to come to his bed to spoon-feed him. When she did he asked her to lie with him. She refused and said that he should ask David for her hand in marriage and she was sure that David would allow it. Amnon wouldn’t wait and simply raped her. After the rape, he had only disgust for her and had his servants throw her out.

Tamar’s life was now ruined. She had been a beautiful virgin, a daughter of the king. She could have married virtually any man in the kingdom but now she could only hide her face in shame. No one would want to marry her now.

She went to her brother Absalom and hid within his house. David found out about Amnon’s dastardly act and was displeased about it but took no action against him. Absalom seethed with anger and hatred but said nothing either good or bad to Amnon. He kept his feelings to himself and planned his revenge. Two years later he planned a feast to celebrate a successful sheep shearing event. He invited all his brothers to the celebration. When Amnon became drunk with wine Absalom had his servants kill him then he fled Jerusalem to Geshur, almost a hundred miles away, and the homeland of his mother’s people.

Absalom was a vengeful and shrewd person. And his revenge on Amnon wasn’t the end of it. He also wanted to punish David for taking no action against Amnon even after becoming aware of his rape of Tamar.

After returning to Jerusalem from Geshur, it was two whole years before David would see him. It was only after Absalom prevailed upon David’s army commander to arrange a meeting between himself and his father that

he was allowed to see David. The commander arranged the meeting and Absalom and his father made peace.

Now that Absalom was back in Jerusalem he could put his seditious plot into motion.

People would come to Jerusalem to see the king from all over the kingdom for various and sundry reasons. Absalom made it his goal to greet most of them at the gate of the city where he would charm them by making them feel as though they were his equals (he was a son of the king).

An exchange between Absalom and someone coming to see the king for some grievance or another would go something like this: Absalom would say, I can see that you’re right in this matter; it’s unfortunate that the king doesn’t have anyone to assist him in hearing these cases. I surely wish I were the judge of this kingdom; then anyone with a lawsuit could come to me and I would give him justice. And when anyone would attempt to bow before him (since he was the son of the king), he would stop them and reach out for their hand and draw them to himself and kiss them. Absalom did this for about four years and stole the hearts of the people of David’s kingdom.

So you can see that Absalom was a shrewd and patient schemer. He drew some without their knowledge into his plot but others were fully aware of their treachery. He even had drawn the king’s own counselor to his side. Ahithophel (ah-hit-tho-fel) gave counsel that was so sound that it was second only to God himself!

Absalom was a real danger since he’d seduced many in David’s army to betray their king and side with him. Now all he needed to do was hunt David down and kill him and he just needed the right plan to do this.

Ahithophel had given him the perfect plan. Ahithophel advised him to send about 12,000 men who would pursue David immediately, that night. Led by Ahithophel, he expected that they would chase David relentlessly and eventually come upon him as he tired. In the face of so many trained soldiers and without any adequate preparation for this encounter, those who accompanied him would flee and leave David to defend himself. Only David would be slain and those who had been with him would be brought back in peace.

This was the excellent advice Ahithophel gave to Absalom. But remember that Hushai had also joined Absalom’s coup but only in appearance—-not in fact. Absalom asked Hushai what advice he recommended.

Hushai said that Ahithophel’s advice was not good at this time. He reminded Absalom that David is a very experienced warrior and that his core group of most loyal soldiers were fierce and skilled. And that David is wily and would likely be hidden away in some strategically advantageous place. Hushai suggested that after the first of that 12,000 started to fall in battle, word would travel that there is a slaughter among your men and even the most fearless among them would lose their courage and your uprising would fail. Hushai advised that Absalom gather all Israel together for this effort, hundreds of thousands of men with Absalom himself leading them. When they found him wherever he happened to be, they could destroy every man present in David's company and David himself besides.

Absalom and his followers liked this plan but this plan bought David time to get away and it put Absalom in danger where the unpredictable fortunes of war cost him his life. Hushai’s real friendship placed his own life in harm's way and saved David’s life.

But David had demonstrated in earlier events of his life that he was also a real friend. After he had secured his rule over Israel after the death of Israel’s former king, he looked for descendants of Saul to extend kindness to them for the sake of his friend Jonathan. Jonathan was Saul’s son and both father and son had been killed in battle.

It was far more common under later Israeli rulers to find descendants of the former king so that the king's line could be completely wiped out. But David wanted to demonstrate kindness to Saul’s descendants for the sake of his friend Jonathan.

His subjects told him that Jonathan had a son named Mephibosheth (me-fib-o-sheth) who was crippled and they told him where that son could

be found. David sent for Mephibosheth to come before him. On his arrival, Mephibosheth expected that he would surely be slain. Instead of killing him David gave him all of the lands of his grandfather Saul and insisted that he eat at David’s own table for the rest of his life. All for the sake of David’s friend Jonathan.

Real friends are hard to find. I have such a friend. I highly value our friendship and I’ll do nothing to compromise or jeopardize it. But when I do sometimes fail my very excellent friend, because it is always my fault, I’m so grateful that He permits our friendship to continue.

Faith and Belief

A man cannot have faith without asking, neither can he ask it without faith.

Edward Marbury

A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets

Arthur C. Clark

Many people have issues with their faith. New believers, long-time believers, and unbelievers all at times have some issues with their faith. I want you to consider this question of faith from both a spiritual and a practical perspective because I honestly believe it is both.

For those of you who are barely willing to consider the existence of an all-powerful being, we call God, just humor me for a moment. This conversation should hardly put a dent in your armor of skepticism and you may even discover new weaknesses in the believer’s argument to later

exploit during any subsequent conversations. You can later reject this out of hand but please hear it first.

Even those who have no confidence that there’s a God must have faith. Their faith resides in the findings of science, archeological evidence, the understanding of men and women they respect, and perhaps in other additional sources. But they still must have faith in something in which they will allow themselves to believe.

Evolution and the Big Bang supply for them enough of a foundation upon which they can build their worldview. Unbelievers (as believers in God refer to them) have no use for those things outside of their five senses.

But is this unwillingness to consider phenomena that can’t be seen or felt or heard reasonable when trying to answer those thorny questions which hang over all our heads?

What happens to us after we die? What happens to those who've been so horrible to others while they lived here on earth? Are they to bear any consequence for the lives they’ve led? What about those who’ve lived their lives admirably? Will there be some post-life recognition for what they’ve done? Is there ultimate fairness in this universe or not?

Faith in anything isn’t real unless there is reliance on the subject of that faith. One is expected to depend to some degree on that thing in which one has faith. If your faith is in evolution, for example, then it is toward evolution that you direct your questions of why you’re here, why were you born, what is your purpose, how should you behave, etc.

There are thousands of questions of this nature that could be asked and there are answers to them all. But most of the answers won’t mesh very well with the unbeliever’s worldview. So rather than going quiet on the issue or proposing increasingly improbable possibilities, why not consider a different foundation.

Maybe evolution isn’t the explanation for our beginning. Perhaps the Big Bang was caused by someone rather than by no one. It’s something to consider.

There are ancient manuscripts extant today which have long been compiled which tell quite an intriguing story. Some of these manuscripts have been included in what we call the Holy Bible. This book tells us that there is one all-powerful being who created everything. The earth, the sky, all the animals on the earth, and all the people too. Yes, you and me too. This being is said to love us too. The Holy Bible also tells us that this being, I’ll call him God, came to the earth that he created and was born into the race of men through a virgin woman. It is indeed an intriguing story and it is all laid out in this book.

But back to faith...

Let me tell you a little bit about a man who this book introduces to the world who had faith and who demonstrated his faith with action. One can always claim to have faith but should always have action to back it up.

About 2000 years before God was born into the world by a virgin, He chose which family of men he would be born into. God chose a man named Abram.

In the land where Abram was born, practically everybody had a god. I’m sure Abram had a god too, probably made of wood or stone or something else. Painted and decorated so that it looked good and kept nearby to be prayed to when the family wanted or needed something. The trouble was that this god couldn’t talk or move or anything else because it wasn’t God at all.

Men had known God in their distant past but they had all, over time, become separated from him. God was about to reintroduce himself and he chose Abram for this great honor. If God was to be born into the human

species, there had to be someone through whose line God would be born. So God chose Abram.

God told Abram to leave the place of his birth and separate himself from all that he knew and travel to a distant land. He wasn’t told at this time where exactly he was to go but God said that he’d show Abram where to go. God told Abram that He would bless him and that Abram would be a blessing to others.

Abram (whose name God later changed to Abraham) listened to God and believed the things that God told him and he obeyed and did what God had told him to do.

Now think about this for a moment. Abram’s family’s god never spoke and never commanded Abram to do anything. This ‘living’ God was something very new. How exactly he communicated with Abram the Bible doesn’t say. Whether it was in a dream or a vision or just as you would speak to a friend, the Bible doesn’t specify. But Abram listened to God and did what he’d been told to do. That is faith in action.

What if Abram had just listened but didn’t go anywhere. That was a big ask that God had made of Abram. Abram was being told to leave his home, his family, and everything he was familiar with and go to a place he knew nothing about. By the way, he was about seventy-five years old at this time.

He believed that God had told him to go and he went. Can you imagine all those who must have tried to dissuade him? He was leaving everything he knew, his friends and his family, and his god. But he listened to this new God who could talk to him and make promises to him. He believed God and acted. Real faith requires action.

God later changed Abram’s name to Abraham.

Faith, without action to certify it, is empty and impotent.

Faith and belief must be demonstrated with action. Faith, without action to certify it, is empty and impotent.

There are innumerable examples of faith in action in the Bible as those of you who are familiar are aware. If you’re unfamiliar with the Bible, then you’ll find what I’m about to tell you illuminating.

One day as Jesus (God’s own son) was on his way with his usual accompaniment of close followers and crowds to help a brokenhearted man with his child, a woman who was suffering from a type of blood illness touched his clothes. The woman believed that if she just could get close enough through the crowd to touch the clothes of this God-filled man she would be healed.

She managed to close the distance through the press of people and touched his garment. She was instantly healed. Jesus felt his healing power leave and looked about himself to see who had approached and touched him with faith. When the woman confessed that it was she who had touched him, he told her that her faith had made her well.

If she had merely harbored the thought that he could help her but never took the steps to find him and touch him, she would never have been healed. Faith alone simply won’t get the job done. Action must accompany faith.

I could give many many more examples of faith plus action because the Bible is replete with them. But let’s consider what is said about our faith by those who don’t believe in an invisible, all-powerful God.

Many in the camp of unbelievers think that we have no evidence for our belief. They actually think that we’ve placed our hopes on literally nothing. Our faith is just hanging on superstition and fantasy and would abruptly collapse in the face of even slightly rigorous challenges. But that isn’t true at all.

Here is one challenge that I want you to consider.

Does life arise from preexisting life