Caught In The Crossfire

By Jyothirllata Girija

Translation of a hilarious comedy about a young man sandwiched between the possessive mother and the nagging wife

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pustaka Digital Media
• Release date: Nov 17, 2021
• ISBN: 6580501507485

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Caught In The Crossfire

(A Hilarious Comedy)

Author:

Jyothirllata Girija

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

(Translation of a hilarious comedy about a young man sandwiched between the possessive

mother and the nagging wife)

***

This was telecast as a serial by the renowned Mr. K. Balachander, Cine Director and Dadasaheb Phalke award-winner, under his Kavithalaya Banner, on RAJ TV after making changes to suit the TV medium. The original Tamil title was MADHDHALANGAL, meaning double-sided drums.

DEDICATION

I dedicate this to Late Mr. K. Balachander, the renowned Cine Director and Dadasaheb Phalke Award Winner, who converted the story as a serial and telecast it on RAJ TV, Chennai.

Jyothirllata Girija

[e-mail]

PROLOGUE

When I wrote the dedication portion for this novel, I never thought that I would have to add late before the name of Mr. K. Balachander, Cine Director and Dadasaheb Phalke award winner, who accepted the original Tamil novel titled Madhdhalangal (meaning double-sided percussion instrument) soon after its submission to him for consideration and came forward to telecast it on RAJ TV (Chennai) as a serial.

When he rang me up the other day to tell me about his acceptance of the novel for being telecast on RAJ TV, I told him that I, who usually wrote feminist stories depicting the sad plight of women suffering at the hands of men-folk, had dealt with a completely different matter in that novel, viz. the pathetic condition of a good young man sandwiched between a possessive mother and a nagging wife. Instantly, he let out a laugh. Then he said, You might have observed that I too am a feminist and most of the films I have directed or produced plead the cases of oppressed women and their problems. So, the story which I am accepting for being telecast as a serial on the TV is the first one for me too in that for the first time, I am taking up the subject of a man’s problem.

Chennai 600 101

Jyothirllata Girija

Chapter 1

It is one of the sections in an office of the Central Government (of India). The Head Clerk enters, followed by Sangeetha, who has come to join the office as a new recruit. All the clerks there stare at her without removing their eyes, because of her bewitching beauty. She is not only beautiful, but is slim and adequately fleshy-neither more nor less - for her height. Everyone guesses she must be slightly more than 5’3" - but definitely not less. Apart from the chiselled features, she is strikingly fair – like a girl born of a couple, natives of Mangalore.

Mathan also stares at her unblinkingly but due to his inherent shyness, suddenly feels guilty and ashamed for gaping at the newly come girl that way. He looks around furtively to find out whether anyone is observing his ‘indecent’ act, but after seeing that every one of his colleagues is also gazing at her - eyes widened - he smiles to himself and resumes his act of looking at her, setting aside his diffidence.

The Head Clerk proudly looks around with the deportment of a king followed by his queen. Then, after occupying his chair, he asks her to sit opposite him on the available visitor’s chair.

Thank you, Sir! says Sangeetha with a smile and sits on it carefully adjusting her sari so it doesn’t get crumpled.

Welcome, Miss Sangeetha!... I think you are a ‘miss’. Hope you’ve not yet missed that prefix miss!, he says grinning from ear to ear sheepishly. Sangeetha blushes at that but is silent bowing her head down, which makes everybody guess she is a spinster as correctly guessed by the Head Clerk. Some of the married men there heave a silent sigh.

Now, Miss Sangeetha, sign the attendance register, first, under today’s date. It is a routine to be done daily on reaching the office... I hope you already know it. Have you worked anywhere before?

No. I haven’t worked anywhere else. This is my first appointment. So, you’re telling me about the attendance register is quite right, Sir. Thank you!

Then, looking in the direction of Sabhesan, the Head Clerk says: "Sabhesan! I’m putting Miss Sangeetha as your assistant, for the time being. Teach her the rudiments of office procedures and train her. You’ve been grumbling often that your seat is the heaviest in the section. So, you may have her as your helper for some time to come. Please note this is not a permanent arrangement. After she learns the fundamentals, she will be given an independent seat. Understand?"

Yes, Sir. For the time being, as you say, I will keep her, Sir! he says, looking innocent, as if unaware of the vulgarity of the expression.

Everyone there is stunned but not knowing whether it was due to slip of the tongue - uttered absent mindedly - or a deliberate mischief, they all look at him aghast and then at Sangeetha who looks unreadable. She writes her name and signs opposite it in the attendance register with a calm demeanour, keeping everybody guessing.

Then the Head Clerk rings the bell on his table and the peon seated outside the section on his stool comes to him sprinting.

Bring a chair from the Recreation Club or get one from the care taker and put it near Sabhesan.

Yes, Sir. - Saying thus, he leaves at once.

Miss Sangeetha! Sabhesan is a senior clerk and he will guide you very well. Just for a few days. After that you can manage your seat on your own... If you get any doubts, you may approach me for help and I will clarify.

Thanks, Sir... What seat are you going to give me, Sir?

As it is, the Accounts seat is vacant. The clerk has gone on promotion. So, his work has been distributed between two clerks, one is Sabhesan and the other is Mathan... After you learn the rudiments of office work from Sabhesan, you will be given the seat for managing it all by yourself. Understand?

Yes, Sir.

The peon comes there dragging a chair and places it next to Sabhesan.

Now you may occupy the chair near Sabhesan, says the Head Clerk and she gets up and goes there with her handbag.

Sangeetha drags the chair to be a little away from its position, so as to be not very close to Sabhesan, observing which Mythili, seated next to Mathan, smiles to herself pursing her lips.

Good morning, Miss Sangeetha! Today I will just tell you about the fundamental procedures followed in every section of a government office... says Sabhesan, after clearing his throat, looking at her with a broad grin and Sangeetha smiles back, muttering a ‘thank-you-very much’, besides reciprocating the ‘good morning’ he has uttered.

When Sangeetha looks up, Mythili throws a friendly welcome smile at her which she returns, thankfully.

Then she turns to face Sabhesan.

Clearing his throat again, Sabhesan says, Miss Sangeetha! Today, I will give you some light work for which my guidance won’t be necessary at all.

Thank you...

Taking a register from a big tray on his left, he passes it on to her after spreading it out and showing page number 126.

You have to total the credit figures and debit figures denoted below two separate columns... I think you know what credit and debit are.

Yes, yes. I know... Now I will total the figures.

She keeps her pen open and then starts counting mentally.

Mythili, turning aside and addressing Mathan in a whisper tells him: "What, Mathan! This head clerk is assigning the job of training her to that Sabhesan, of all the people here! He is a rogue..."

What can we do about it, Mythili? At an opportune moment why don’t you tell that girl about him and warn her - so she could be wary?

I don’t think there will be any need for any of us to warn her about him. She will find it out herself soon. Or, most probably, she’s already found it out! From the way she has dragged her chair to be a little away from him, it is clear! She looks very intelligent, replies Mythili smiling.

How could you judge her at first sight?

It’s because an intelligent person can easily locate another intelligent person! she says, chuckling.

Oh! Then, do you mean to say that I am not intelligent? he asks her half playfully and half seriously.

I’m sorry, Mathan! I never imagined you would take it like that. Very sorry, indeed! I didn’t mean it that way.

Mathan smiles and says: "Just joking, Mythili. It is quite all right... When I joined this office as a novice the other day, it was you who taught me the official procedures. I have been considering you as my guru all along. Now that you talk like a playful girl, it’s high time I get you down from the high pedestal I’ve installed you on!"

Mythili puts down her pen on the table and spreading her hands on her sides, denoting her being fat, says, You cannot do it single handedly, Mathan! I’m weightier than you! You will need the assistance of someone else for that! - Then she brings down her hands to their normal position.

Mathan smiles ear to ear and remarks: "How broad you are, Mythili! So broad as to cut jokes at your own expense!"

I’m broad, even literally! - She stretches both her arms again sideways in curves denoting thereby her bulkiness.

Then Mythili observes that Mathan is furtively looking every now and then in the direction of Sangeetha and smiles to herself: "Mathan! Do you know, these days many love marriages take place between the staff at workplaces?"

Mathan blushes at that: "Keep quiet, Mythili! That girl is looking at us too. She seems to think we’re talking about her!"

Did not I tell you she looked intelligent?

Then, I’m also intelligent! Isn’t it? Have I not guessed correctly what she’s been thinking? -Saying thus he lifts his shirt collar up proudly.

Of course. Now let’s stop talking and do some office work!

Okay.

Then they both plunge seriously in attending to the office work, stopping the chitchat.

... After some time, the big wall clock in the section strikes eleven and Mythili gets up and walks to the opposite seat, towards Sangeetha.

Sangeetha! Now it’s tea time for us. Shall we go to the canteen downstairs?

Sangeetha looks at Sabhesan. He nods his approval posing like a big boss and she gets up and walks with Mythili towards the canteen, with her handbag hung on the shoulder.

After their departure, one by one, the others also leave for the canteen except a few, who send the peon to buy coffee from the canteen, giving him the big flask, they are having for the purpose.

The Head Clerk interrupts: "Mahadevan! Have you included me for coffee?"

Definitely, Sir! You need not remind us at all! - Mahadevan who is seated next to Mathan replies thus and when the Head Clerk stoops to pick out the pencil, he has dropped nudges Mathan, and whispers: "He is daily taking free coffee from us! Not once he has reciprocated! One should not be this miserly! He’s too stingy! Chi!"

Mathan smiles, but doesn’t reply him.

After a pause, Mahadevan says: "Mathan! Our Mythili madam, married for about ten years, I suppose, is yet to give birth to a child. She’s longing for motherhood. God is yet to open His eyes to shower His grace on her! Poor woman! A very nice and jovial person!"

Yes, yes. I know.

... By the way, Mathan, you never go to the canteen. Why?

I can’t afford, Mahadevan! My widowed mother has suffered a lot to bring me up and educate me. Her ambition in life is that we should have a house of our own. She thinks twice before spending every pie. Of course, she has not asked me not to drink coffee in the office. But I take only once - in the afternoon and not before that, Mahadevan. When she’s so careful and thrifty, should not I be too? Tell me. Moreover, I don’t feel like taking coffee frequently. I’m not a coffee addict. In the morning I take a cup of strong coffee my mother prepares. In the afternoon also I drink coffee in the canteen. Then after reaching home, I take yet another strong cup of coffee. One should not drink more than that, isn’t it? It’s harmful... I take only a very small amount as pocket money - just enough for my afternoon coffee!

My God! You’re an exceptional case. As for me, I’ve lied about my salary and give her only three-fourths!

...... ‘Her’ means? Your mother?

No, no! My wife! Wife is the more powerful goddess than mother! It is so everywhere in the world!

I can’t even imagine about doing so after I get married! My mother is always the Goddess - none else - as far as I’m concerned!

I should call you a ‘henpecked son’, then!

Mathan laughs and keeps mum.

Then they get engrossed in their work.

After a little while, Mythili and Sangeetha return and take their seats. The phone rings and the Head Clerk answers.

Miss Sangeetha! Phone!

Sangeetha gets up, goes to the Head Clerk’s table and speaks: "No, no, appa! I can’t! I’ve joined only today!... No, no. I won’t. It will be awkward to ask for permission on the very day of my joining. No... I am not coming. I’m sorry..."-Saying thus emphatically she replaces the receiver and walks back to occupy her seat.

But within a few seconds, the phone rings again.

The Head Clerk answers: "Accounts Section... Yes, Sir... I’m the Head Clerk, here..."

After listening to the person at the other end he laughs: "Oh! I see!... She’ll be there at 4 o’clock... No problem... I’ll ask her to leave around 3 O’clock so she will be at home before time... and get ready for the event... You’re welcome."

After disconnecting the line, the Head Clerk turns in the direction of Sangeetha and, accosting her, tells her: "Miss Sangeetha! You may leave the office at 3 O’clock. Wish you all the best!"

Understanding the inference of his words, everyone there smiles...

Mythili looks at Mathan askance. He is unsmiling and appears to be deeply engrossed in writing