How To Strengthen The Root Of Your Marriage

By Bright Osaiyuwu

Almost everyone at some point in their life will experience the exciting and joyful journey of

marriage and all that it entails. Having a strong foundation for your marriage will ensure that

moving forward, it has the best chance of success and establishes healthy patterns early on that

you can build on.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Bright Destiny Osaiyuwu
• Release date: Sep 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781777306465

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 by Bright Destiny Osaiyuwu

ISBN: 9781-7773064-5-8 Paperback

ISBN: 9781-7773064-6-5 eBook

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please write to the author at [e-mail].

Bible references used:

Nelson, Thomas. (2017) Holy Bible. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson.

King James Bible (2020). King James Bible Online: https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org

PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED BY

BRIGHT DESTINY OSAIYUWU:

A Perilous Escape from Africa

Trudeau and the Hunter’s Rabbit

Animals in the Volga Forest

Stressors and Coping Strategies for Daily Living

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter One - Prayer, Love, and Understanding

Chapter Two - Tolerance and Friendship

Chapter Three - Forgiveness and Transparency

Chapter Four - Communication and Time

Chapter Five - Faithfulness and Supportiveness

Chapter Six - Appreciation and Goodness

Chapter Seven - Study and Attention

Chapter Eight - Priority and Special Days

Chapter Nine - Beliefs and Common Goals

Chapter Ten - Apologies and Being There

Chapter Eleven - Trust and Encouragement

Chapter Twelve - Humility and Sacrifice

Chapter Thirteen - Rekindle the Early Days of Romance

Chapter Fourteen - Patience and Change

Chapter Fifteen - Presence and Early Morning Sex

Chapter Sixteen - Negative Past Experiences and the Future

Chapter Seventeen - Similarities and Differences

Conclusion

Acknowledgements

About The Author

This book is dedicated to my beloved family.

INTRODUCTION

MARRIAGE IS THE official recognition of the union between two people—legally as well as in the couple’s families and community at large. This union is a symbol of love and affection between two individuals from different backgrounds. People from different backgrounds come with different behaviours, attitudes, reasonings, characters, opinions and so on due to the way they were nurtured and the culture in which they were raised. With all these differences, a lot is required from both parties to make the marriage work. It requires constant prayer, love, sacrifice, understanding, tolerance, patience, humility, selflessness, attention, friendship, encouragement, trust, faithfulness, transparency, forgiveness, communication, consistency, and more to make the marriage successful.

In the journey of marriage, it is not always going to be bed of roses, as many people may assume from the beginning. There will sometimes be fights, chaos, doubt, grief, disbelief, misunderstandings, disagreements, and other negative occurrences that are bound to happen. But how these things are managed by couples will determine how deep the root of the marriage will grow beneath the ground to become stronger.

Additionally, with consistency, resilience, collective effort, positive input, and hard work, the marriage will excel no matter the obstacles, turbulence, difficulties, and challenges that may come its way. Now, let us proceed to elaborate more on the things that everyone needs to make their marriage work, as well as other effective elements that can be included to strengthen its root.

CHAPTER ONE

PRAYER, LOVE, AND UNDERSTANDING

THE FIRST THING you should do to make your marriage successful is to build its foundation on the solid rock of God through fervent prayer, with the promise that you will wholeheartedly contribute your own positive quota to the marriage. Always remember that prayer can change every bad situation into a good one because it is prayer that changes things for good, as it is written in Mathew 18:20: For where two or three have gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Couples that pray together with love, faith, unity, and understanding will always stay together no matter what life throws at them. When we pray together, have faith, and believe, it gives us more strength to move through obstacles and adversities in our marriage. Some people may not really understand the power of prayer, but each time you pray, you are inviting God to take total control of your marriage and to deny potential demonic access. Prayer comes with love, unity, togetherness, and every good thing that will make a marriage work. Marriage is God’s gift to humanity, designed to give us peace, joy, love, and happiness as well as glory unto him. Unfortunately, some people misinterpret this gift and begin to do things that are against his will.

Here is what the bible says about men and women, as well as marriage:

Adam was the first man God created, and he was all alone in the garden of Eden. In Genesis 2:21–24 (kjv), we learn that the lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. And in Proverbs 18:22, we are told, Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the lord.

These chapters and verses are only few of numerous parts of the bible that speak about marriage; these scriptures also teach us the various responsibilities that come with marriage and how we can apply them to strengthen the root of our marriage to make it work. The above bible verses are shared just to give you an idea of how man and woman started from the beginning, and to illustrate a few things that can help you grow in your marriage.

It is essential that we love our partner with all our heart, and that we are willing to do anything for them regardless of their flaws. Many people do not really know what love is because of their personal beliefs, how they understand marriage, and the way they were nurtured and raised. One of the best ways to define love is this: even if you are upset with your partner, you will still choose to do all the good things you were doing for them when things were going well between the two of you.

Perhaps, for example, you are a husband who is angry at his wife because she offended you in one way or the other. She wants to go to the salon to get her hair done, but she does not drive. If you genuinely love her, you will still drive her to the salon and wait outside with your frowning face (if you are wearing one) until she finishes, and you will drive her back home. That is what true love does. It is not only what you say with your mouth; it is what you show through your actions because love is an action word through the efforts you put to it. Whatever your wife did to offend you should not interfere with how you demonstrate the love you have for her. Love is seen as those little efforts we put into the welfare of our partner by doing things to make them feel loved and cherished. Some examples are doing things to ease their life, calling to check on them, going out of our way to assist them, giving our genuine opinions on issues concerning them, and many other avenues we use to uplift them.

Of course, this applies to wives, too. Let us say your husband offended and upset you. If he is the primary income earner, and if it is your mutual agreement that you are the one to take care of the home and meal preparation, prepare his meal for him and do not withhold it to punish him. This is what true love is all about. Ephesians 4:2–3 tells us, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Sometimes, couples even starve one another of sexual intimacy because they are angry with each other. It should not be that way. Even if you are upset with your partner, do not deny them love and intimacy; do not use sex as a weapon against your partner which is the common mistakes some people make in their marriages.

Love is a beautiful thing, especially when we love our partner completely and know that we are loved in return. When that happens, we feel positive vibes in our body chemistry. These positive vibes contribute to our daily performance in all areas and how well we function in our day-to-day living. Sometimes we are carried away by our work or adversities of life and forget to give the necessary love to our partners. When you show your partner that you love them, it inspires similar feelings and a willingness to reciprocate that exact same love back to you. Loving feelings are ideally mutual, but some people do not reciprocate it to their partners.

Love is supposed to be an intense feeling toward another person you care about, but worldly and material things have blinded many people, causing them to withhold demonstration of love for their partners. And sometimes people even go into marriage purely in pursuit of financial or material gain.

Many people do not really understand the true meaning of love. When you profess love to someone, you are directly telling them that you can do anything or go to any length for them, meaning you can face anything on their behalf, including dying for them. But remember, a verbal declaration of love is not something to flippantly give without meaning it. Before expressing your love to someone, examine your heart to know with certainty whether you developed that feeling from your inner self. In reality, love is supposed to come from the deepest depths of your heart.

There are different types of love, and people exercise them in different forms. Some of these loves are healthy, while others are not—depending on who is giving it to you. We have a certain kind of passionate love for partners; we have certain kind