If your marriage is still plagued by your past mistakes -- she brings up what happened 20 years ago... or he brings up how you used to be all the time...   What can you do to heal it? How can you two move forward and actually build a better marriage?    I would like you to remember some important scriptures on this topic:  It is His kindness that leads us to repentance. He disciplines those He loves.  Whoever heeds discipline shows the ways to life.   And then this is the one that's super practical:  "if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."   How do you reconcile?  Apologize.    How do you make your apologies effective?  That is what I want to walk through with you on this episode.   I want you to have all of the know-how to get out there and do the scary, excruciating but necessary thing of owning your side and apologizing for it.  Is it 100% your fault. I bet not. But, there is always an opportunity for us to own our side and for the purposes of getting right before God -- go and repair with your spouse.    I hope this helps and gives you the encouragement you need to do the right thing.  Blessings, Belah PS -- We'd love to support you in your marriage -- feel free to get on a Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help transform your ho-hum marriage to one that's warm and inviting!  A recent grad wrote: "I’m not exaggerating, I’m keeping it real…this is what I would tell anyone who asked… I had been praying intensely for my marriage daily for 8 months... I had very limited improvements until starting the program. The [Clarity] Advisor was warm and friendly and could empathize with my situation. This program helped me stop doing the things that were undermining my efforts to improve my marriage. I have spent much more money trying to rekindle my marriage with no results. This might possibly be the best investment of my life." We'd love to have you see this kind of transformation! delightyourmarriage.com/cc