Stressors And Coping Strategies For Daily Living

By Bright Osaiyuwu

People around the world share one common experience: the unfairness of life and the stress that ensues. Regardless of age, background, and financial status, stressors can emerge-anywhere and anytime. These stressors can trigger difficult emotions and responses.

When we encounter emotional traumas, we may use unhealthy coping st

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bright Destiny Osaiyuwu
• Release date: Sep 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781777306441

Book preview

Title

Copyright © 2020 by Bright Destiny Osaiyuwu

ISBN: 9781-7773064-3-4 Paperback

ISBN: 9781-7773064-4-1 eBook

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

For permission requests, please write to the author and publisher at the following address: Bright Destiny Osaiyuwu, [e-mail]

Books published by Bright Destiny Osaiyuwu

A Perilous Escape from Africa

Trudeau and The Hunter’s Rabbit

Animals in The Volga Forest

To my beloved mother, Mrs. Vero Omoregie Osaiyuwu.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One: Death of a Loved One

Chapter Two: Abuse

Chapter Three: Betrayal

Chapter Four: Divorce

Chapter Five: Purpose and the Future

Chapter Six: Natural Disaster

Chapter Seven: Copying Others

Chapter Eight: Unemployment

Chapter Nine: Harassment

Chapter Ten: Increase in Financial Obligations

Chapter Eleven: Chronic Illness or Injury

Chapter Twelve: Getting Married

Chapter Thirteen: Moving to a New Home

Chapter Fourteen: Taking Care of a Sick Family Member

Chapter Fifteen: Working Under Dangerous Conditions

Chapter Sixteen: Anxiety

Chapter Seventeen: Rape

Chapter Eighteen: Facing Discrimination and Racism

Chapter Nineteen: Pandemic

Chapter Twenty: Life and Career Stagnation

Chapter Twenty-One: Unforgiveness

Chapter Twenty-Two: Poverty

Chapter Twenty-Three: Low Self-Esteem

Chapter Twenty-Four: Domestic Violence

Chapter Twenty-Five: Disability

Chapter Twenty-Six: Unhappiness

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Guilt

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Overweight/Obesity

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Suicidal Thoughts

Chapter Thirty: Rejection

Chapter Thirty-One: Depression

Chapter Thirty-Two: Having a Bad Day

Chapter Thirty-Three: Low Grades

Chapter Thirty-Four: Loss of a Game

Chapter Thirty-Five: Breakup

Chapter Thirty-Six: Debt

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Additional Good Coping Strategies

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Effects of Bad Coping Strategies

Conclusion

Acknowledgements

References

About the Author

Introduction

This book is about the things that cause stress, the different coping strategies people use in coping with stress, and recommended, good coping strategies for these stressors.

Stress is generally defined as what we experience physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. In today’s world, stress can be experienced from the environment in which we live, and in our body and thoughts. Stress is inevitable and not something we can always avoid because it is part of life; it is like a killer disease that has ravaged many lives around the globe.

Much of what is happening in the world today has destabilized many people in different ways, causing them stress. There are several negative things stress can do to our wellbeing. Stress can ruin our day and bring out the worst in us; it can destroy what we have built; it can negatively impact everyone around us.

Stress can make people do what they would not normally do. Coping with stress can be challenging, but finding the right coping strategies can help us properly deal with it. When you look around sometimes, you will notice that many people use different coping strategies that they believe will help them cope with their stress. Some smoke cigarettes, some drink alcohol, some use dangerous drugs, and some have other deadly habits.

Before indulging in such negative coping strategies, we should always ask ourselves these questions:

Are these coping strategies really helping our situation?

Are these habits helping us contribute positively to our community?

Are we influencing our children in a positive way?

What message are we sending those who look up to us?

There are numerous things that can easily stress us out on a daily basis, but before we elaborate on those things, let’s look at the causes of stress as well as good, effective coping strategies we can use to manage them.

Chapter One: Death of a Loved One

One of the causes of intense stress is losing a loved one. When people lose their loved ones, they tend to feel the worst pain of their lives. If they are not careful, that singular occurrence could change their lives forever. So, it is always imperative for us to apply wisdom at this point in time and totally surrender our situation to God in prayers.

Losing a loved one is one of the worst situations anyone could ever experience. That is why when there is a death in the family, other family members, our friends, our colleagues and other well-wishers and sympathizers gather at our homes to give their condolences and support. Expressing their condolences and support is a way to ease the pains of the bereaved.

People’s support at that time will give the bereaved family hope to be able to bear the pains and agonies. After the bereaved bury their loved ones, that is when they will began to stress even more. You may ask why they will be stressed after the burial. Well, there are many things that will trigger their moods and thereby make them stress. Their moods will also be affected by the memories of the good deeds of their deceased family member.

What they feel at that time is like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); although it might not be the same, but the emotional states have some similarities. During a time of intense grieving, people who cannot deal with stress may resign themselves to one or more of the bad coping strategies mentioned earlier—for example, smoking or excessive drinking of alcohol as well as other deadly habits. The time of loss and after the funeral process is often the testing period when people can easily fall into wrong coping strategies.

Bear in mind that after this testing period, when people are more in control of their impulses, they are less likely to exhibit such bad coping strategies. Coping with stress after losing people close to our hearts is the most difficult thing to do. That is why we all must play our roles in the best way we can, to support those who have lost the people they love and cherish including putting them in prayers.

Good coping strategies

There are several ways of coping when we lose someone close to our hearts. This is not to say that coping with such a tragic loss is easy; of course, there are some negative effects that naturally come to us when such things happen to us. We feel sad, we cry, and even become aggressive sometimes.

The most effective coping strategies to use after losing a loved one is to pray to God for strength and fortitude to bear the loss as well as to reflect on their positive impact on us and everyone around them while they were alive. Then, we must acknowledge and accept that they are gone; there is no point to been in denial over their death. Stop flogging yourself, trying to hide under the belief that they are still alive or will wake up soon. When we do not accept the fact that they are dead, we are likely daydream and deny their passing, which could increase our stress level. Even after accepting that they are gone, try using their positive deeds to still feel their presence in your life. Knowing how good they were to you can give you the assurance that they are now in a better place, far from this sinful world.

We cry when we miss their presence. When we cry, we tend to feel better afterwards. When we repress crying and grieving—natural responses to the shock of hearing of the death of a loved one—the psychological effects can be detrimental to our health. It is okay to cry after hearing of the death of a loved one because it releases the burden of stress within us and makes us feel better.

Whenever you see anyone crying after losing their loved one, allow them to cry because that is one of the best ways they can mentally and psychologically handle the stress that comes with it. With this in mind, we must also acknowledge that there are people who do not feel like crying after such an incident. It is not that they don’t feel the shock or miss the departed soul—they just handle loss in a different way.

Oftentimes, such people cry and bleed in their hearts over the loss. Sometimes they feel the pain more than other family members. However, crying without any physical signs of tears can be more detrimental to their mental health. It feels better to let those tears out rather than keeping and suppressing them inside. Overall, crying is one of the best ways to cope with the stress of losing a loved one.

Another way of coping with the stress of losing a loved one is by hugging family members, friends, or anyone sympathetic to our situation. Many people think that hugging someone is only for fun, but when people hug us, they also show us how much affection they have for us during our difficult time. Knowing that we are not alone in our predicament and that people are there to show their support and love can dramatically reduce our stress level, which will enable us to cope properly.

Losing a loved one can cause a lifetime of pain, sorrow, and agony for many families. There are many who weep on daily basis because of the death of their loved ones. Crying and weeping for the departed souls every day can affect our wellbeing and mental health. It is okay to weep and cry occasionally, but doing it on daily basis is not good for our health.

There are some things people do subconsciously that trigger their moods every day and make them cry over their loved ones daily. Things like leaving pictures of their departed loved ones on their social media platforms, keeping their picture in an open place where they can easily stumble on them, or drawing tattoos of them on their skin.

Let us elaborate more on social media a bit. When pictures of your departed loved ones are left on social media, people are going to comment on the photos. And when they do, it will trigger your mood and possibly spoil your day because you will not be happy seeing those comments; it is like reopening and bruising your old wounds.

When you do these things, you create an avenue of sadness in your life. This is not to say that you shouldn’t keep things that will make you remember your loved ones, but there are other ways you can keep their pictures or belongings in such a way that you don’t stumble on them on a daily basis. For example, you can print their pictures and keep them in a safe place where you do not have to see them every day.

Put those pictures where they are not too exposed to you. Any time you choose to go to where they are kept to see them, is okay to cry in that moment. Keeping these things hidden doesn’t stop people from remembering their loved ones daily; they are still in their subconscious minds anyways. However, putting the photos away will definitely limit the number of times they cry and weep over their departed loved ones. So, it is very important to use these strategies for coping with stress after losing a loved one.

You can talk to people around you who are sympathetic to your situation, people you believe can revive you emotionally. Do not keep everything to yourself; let your thoughts out so that they can contribute positively to your healing process. It is when people suppress these feelings that many of them end up using bad coping strategies or going into depression.

Attune yourself to reality of life and accept the fact that everybody will one day leave this earth. Accept that dying is part of life. Always have the positive belief that your departed loved one is in a better place. Never wish to trade anything in exchange for their life—acknowledge that death is inevitable. By the time you sink these positive thoughts into your head, your stress level will