I Want Out: My Life and the Word - God Working to Fulfill His Purpose

By Tammy Wilson

The theme of this book is how faith in God and relationship with God works together in our lives for a greater purpose than we know or even realize; and no matter what the situation may look like, through God we can escape the mental and physical bondage that keeps us stuck in a place of hopelessness and defeat.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9781483639710

Tammy Wilson

Tammy Wilson, Enid resident, has investigated many haunted locations around the country and cowrote Ghostlahoma: 100 Years of Oklahoma's Haunted History with Tonya Hacker. She conducts the Eerie Enid Ghost Tours, plans festivals and events was also a charter member of the Public Art Commission of Enid. She has served on the Gaslight Theatre Board of Directors and is an active member of the theatre. Jeff Provine grew up on his family's Land Run farm just north of Hillsdale and today serves as a professor of English at Oklahoma City Community College. His projects include Campus Ghosts of Norman, Haunted Norman, Haunted Guthrie, Haunted Oklahoma City, Haunted Shawnee and Haunted Oklahoma. He has appeared on the Travel Channel's Famously Afraid and serves as cohost with Dennis Spielman for Tales Unveiled, a docu-narrative exploring the legends of Oklahoma.

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Copyright © 2021 by Tammy Wilson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 06/22/2021

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

549742

CONTENTS

1. My Mother Dearest

2. Years At The House

3. Color-ism

4. Physical And Mental Abuse

5. God’s Gifts

6. Choices

7. Whose Report Will You Believe?

8. Something Special

9. Don’t Give Up

10. Encouragement Is Needed

11. The Rock

12. Escape To Love

13. No Where To Hide

14. No Greater Love

15. Testimony

16. Church Life, Reverence & Change

17. What Really Matters Is Knowing Him

18. Identity

Plan of Salvation

Dedication & Thanks

To God be the glory! I first dedicate this book to my father in heaven who has allowed me to go through these things in life for the purpose of bringing me to salvation and a personal relationship with him. I know had I not gone through these things that my life would be much different. It is only by God’s grace that I am here today to share what He has done in my life.

Secondly, I acknowledge my husband Fate. Although we were not married at the time I started this book, you have been my biggest supporter and encourager. Thank you. I love you! I also want to dedicate this book to Harry & Brenda Dendy, who encouraged me to go ahead and put it on paper. Thank you so much for believing in me. God bless you! The Lord had given me the vision years ago, but because of distractions in my life, I continued to put it off. Nevertheless, I never gave up on it.

Last but not least, this book is dedicated to the Apostles, Prophets, Pastors, Ministers, Teachers, and friends who have spoken life into me and encouraged me. Thank you for being obedient to God. May God’s continual blessings be upon you and your families.PREFACE

Have you ever been in a situation or a part of something such as an abusive relationship, an organization, or a lifestyle that you wish you could get out of, but you felt stuck or trapped or held hostage to it? Have you ever not known what to do, or how to do it, or weren’t sure if anyone could help you with it? I’m here to tell you that things are not always as they seem. When it seems impossible and you are not able to find a way out, know that in your time of impossibility, it’s the perfect time for God to show himself strong in your life. During my time of trials, the mercy of God was revealed in my life. My eyes were opened and I realized that the Lord is real. I found the way out; In fact a way out of no way, what I didn’t realize I’d been searching for my entire life, JESUS, my love, my life, the way, the truth, and the life, a very present help in time of trouble, and a faithful friend. Now because he lives in me, as the psalmist said, I am stronger, wiser, and so much better.

Life’s circumstances or the things we go through in life are what God uses to shape or reshape our character. We don’t always know why we are going through what we’re going through, but if we keep our head to the hills God will reveal. We look back sometimes and see how we could of, would of, should of, been farther along in life, done things different, listened to our parents, made better decisions, or just gave it all up, but God was still in control. I’ve gone through many things in my life, and when I thought I wouldn’t make it, God turned it around He says that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). The Father has a plan for each of our lives. When I started walking in the direction God called me, which was out of the darkness into his marvelous light, to know him and to allow his light to shine in my life, he then brought change. This change didn’t happen overnight, it was a process. This process of continual change leads to continual growth and development of those who love the lord and are called for his purpose.

I encourage you today to seek God in all that you do. God’s word is true and he will do just what he said he will do. If you trust him and put your hope in him, you will never be disappointed and you will be blessed.

God has allowed me to share my struggles and triumphs with you in order to encourage you in the things of God and to allow you to see the importance of having an active relationship with him, living in freedom, and walking in love. What is a relationship without communication? It is dysfunctional and ineffective. It’s like saying I know someone that I’ve never even had a conversation with. So, how can we know God without walking and talking with him and spending time in His presence? We can’t! Every successful relationship requires the sacrifice of time. We must die to the my and I and live to the will of God, esteeming others more highly than ourselves. Simply, doing what the word of God says to do even when our flesh doesn’t feel like it. Love is the key! It conquers all. The love of God will sustain you and get you through anything. God’s love goes beyond our flesh because it is spirit, a fruit of God’s spirit, and it abides forever. Choose to love God, yourself, and others and watch your life change. He did it for me and I know he will do the same for you.

INTRODUCTION

I Want Out

Why me Lord? What did I do to deserve this? This was my conversation with God. There has got to be more. Where is the love? The light? The living? Where are you? Do you hate me? I’ve got to get out of here! These were my most dominating thoughts. My soul was not well, but my spirit was alive hoping that God would hear me and answer one day.

When I was growing up, I had a large extended family which all lived in the same house. This was common to see in the south and can still be found today. I never knew why, but I didn’t like it. This was just how it was, and I had to accept it. After all, I was a child. What could i do about it, I thought? My great grandmother, grandmother, mother and her sisters and brother, my generation of children, and soon my children were all living in the same household. My great grandmother had one daughter, my grandmother, who had seven children, six girls and one boy. My mom was the oldest of the six girls. This was a house full of women and children. Not many men lived there except for my great granddad, my step-dad (he was common-law married to my mom), my aunt’s husband, and my uncle. The rest were children. My mom married once, but it didn’t last long. From what she told me, we only moved out for about a year or so, and it wasn’t long after that before we were back at the house again, which was my grandmother’s house. I lived in this house for approximately sixteen years, then moved out as soon as I turned eighteen, which was not a wise decision. I was in rebellion, and anywhere else was better than being at the house.. Those were some long years with a lot of memories that I have kept hidden for a long time. As I share this, I’m reminded of the scripture in Matthew 12:43-45 that talks about the unclean spirit. In verse 44 the unclean spirit says, "I will return to my house from which I came. There are spirits not of God that have taken residency in our temples from since we were children. These unclean spirits have claimed ownership of our bodies, God’s temples, and won’t leave without a fight. It’s amazing how we accept things as being the norm because we’re use to it. It is what we’ve always done or how we’ve always been, we’re stuck and sometimes don’t recognize that fact. Once we accept things the way they are, and put on the mindset of it is what it is, the likelihood for change is sometimes reduced to excuses. This is why it’s so important for us to get in the word of God and renew our minds daily so that God’s truth may make us free. We think, I was born like this or momma said, daddy said, my teacher said, but what is God saying? God says in his word that All things are possible to them that believe and There is nothing too hard for God." This is the place where my life changed, where I began to get into the word of God and renew my mind. God’s ways are higher and his thoughts are better. He is a wise God and he knows what’s best for us, so why not trust him? I thought that things would never change for me, but as I began to see glimpses of hope, my perception began